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its not right, but its ok..........

., ., ., ., ., says whitney houstons pathologist, as he pulls down his trousers. (stolen from someone else)...

arthurminnit 15.02.12 1:02pm
Daniel Radcliffe’s tongue trickery ‘still not enough to make him sexy’ say women 0
Duncan Biscuit 15.02.12 10:09am
Duncan Biscuit
Rangers enter administration but get knocked out in qualifying round 0
Duncan Biscuit 15.02.12 10:08am
Duncan Biscuit
Ryan Air to charge extra for service by red hot stewardesses 0
Duncan Biscuit 15.02.12 10:07am
Duncan Biscuit
Sacked for being legless on the job

An Iranian terrorist bomber has been relieved of his duties for blowing his own legs off in a botched boom job today., Bosses at the Bankok terror cell sacked him immediately upon hearing of the...

Marko 15.02.12 8:45am
Sean Penn's stand on Malvinas backed by Big Bird, Fozzy Bear and Pee Wee Herman

Hollywood's Finest, a troop of crack actor/visionary/world leaders, has thrown its weight behind Sean Penn's campaign to return the Falkland Islands to indigenous Spanish colonialists who first...

ronseal 15.02.12 8:39am
Sweetener industry develop healthier "Lite fructose corn syrup" 0
Dumbnews 15.02.12 6:11am
Rangers resigned to finishing 1st or 2nd again after having 10 points docked 1
Qoxiivi 14.02.12 11:14pm
Eric Pickles to require ALL councils to pray before meetings...

on the basis that he won't be given them any more money, so they had better start looking after themselves...

deskpilot3 14.02.12 11:11pm
Cameron to meet with Lewis Moody. More soon. 0
GreenCross 14.02.12 10:50pm
Man drove 'economic bus' off cliff & berates successor for not reversing back up

More Balls soon...

dvo4fun 14.02.12 10:09pm
Mourinho caught sexting with Abramovich on Valentines Day 0
Hooch 14.02.12 8:27pm
Rangers in administration crisis "A bleak day for sectarian bigots" says McCoist 0
dvo4fun 14.02.12 7:14pm
Cameron Finally Admits That Him And Osborne Have "Done A Glasgow Rangers"......

.With the UK economy...

Jesse Bigg 14.02.12 6:32pm
“Holy trinity” traffic lights to signal Christian messages.

“Red the bible today? Orange you glad? Go in peace” is just one of the triple messages that drivers in the town of Tiverton may see on traffic lights, thanks to competition winner Jeremy Front,...

nickb 14.02.12 5:47pm
3 dead and 25 injured in bandwagon collapse

There were scenes of chaos in the Houses of Parliament today as the bankers bonuses bandwagon finally collapsed under the weight of political outrage. The emergency services are still searching for...

Immunis 14.02.12 5:46pm
Whitney Would Enjoy Seeing Her Deathbed on TV

The singer and actress Whitney Houston died on Sunday night leaving behind a great feeling of sadness within her many fans. Her death has also sparked fury as images of the bath in which she drew he...

Hooch 14.02.12 5:27pm
Government announce 'Commercialism Day' as a new way to waste your money

Following on from the financial success of Christmas and Valentines day recently, the Government are expected to release details of a new celebration on 1st July. ‘Commercialism Day’ will start...

Perks 14.02.12 4:29pm
Gravy Train to carry custard, says Network Rail 0
nickb 14.02.12 3:52pm
Old Firm Goes Bankrupt 0
Mathna 14.02.12 3:10pm
"Flowers would have been nice", sniffs Abu Qatada

While enjoying his release from prison and the opportunity to catch up on the daytime television shopping channels, Abu Qatada has revealed his sense of disappointment in affairs of the heart. "I'm...

cinquecento 14.02.12 3:05pm
The seemingly endless Carlos Tevez saga took a bizarre turn today ..

.. as he arrived in Manchester to be told he'd been transferred to Glasgow Rangers. Roberto Mancini said, "I believe he can do a job for Rangers that he couldn't manage here at Manchester City."...

Gourd Almighty 14.02.12 2:55pm
Gourd Almighty
Middle-Earth in crisis as Rangers go bust

One for LOTR fans!...

apepper 14.02.12 2:19pm
Man still bitter about £1.75 he spent on Valentine card

Nineteen-year-old Poundland checkout worker Jake Doyle says he is still bitter about the Valentine card he sent to a colleague he fancied. 'I guess I should have got over it by now,' he says, 'but I...

roybland 14.02.12 2:06pm
Watchdog criticizes GayDay loans for causing spiral into male prostitution. 0
MADJEZ 14.02.12 1:56pm
Cameron Vows "If French Attack The Argies First....."

."We'll be right behind them as usual."...

Jesse Bigg 14.02.12 1:55pm
6music celebrates 10th year by handing original listeners over to Radio 2

As 6music celebrated its tenth year of appealing to 31-33 year-olds who pretend to enjoy obscure music released between 1993 and 1995, listeners over the age of 40 are being forceably bundled into...

14.02.12 1:52pm
Coldplay still the strongest sedative available without prescription. 0
MADJEZ 14.02.12 1:51pm
Beverley Hilton dead from Press overdose

Eighties legend Beverley Hilton was found dead in Los Angeles today. She had been overcome by a massive wave of Press hysteria and intrusive speculation. Complete strangers were seen rummaging in...

Son of Barnabas 14.02.12 1:50pm
Son of Barnabas
Apache pilot and gunner, Prince Harry, disobeys order to fire at Will 2
Smart Alex 14.02.12 1:47pm