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Beer duty reduction blamed for binge drinking outbreak

With over half the community on long-term sickness benefits, regulars of Wetherspoon’s Picture House pub in Ebbw Vale normally have to limit themselves to only six or seven pints during the early...

beau-jolly 28.03.13 9:28pm
Africa promised wind-up radios for April fools day 4
Bourbon 28.03.13 8:56pm
Chain-smoking steamboat captain on two packets a day 0
Smart Alex 28.03.13 8:46pm
Smart Alex
Cyprus mourns death of money

Banks in Cyprus re-opened today so that customers could pay their respects at the scene of their money's tragic death. The money was fatally shot on Monday by firearms officers from the German...

cshevlin 28.03.13 7:31pm
Royal Mail complains new mail delivery system is just a postcode lottery 0
custard cream 28.03.13 7:06pm
custard cream
Spate of Shop Window Manikin Thefts Feared.......

As Spare Bedroom Tax about to kick in...

Jesse Bigg 28.03.13 6:39pm
Jesse Bigg
Employee absolutely point blank refuses to attend assertiveness course 0
Smart Alex 28.03.13 5:48pm
Smart Alex
Charity to release headlice

UK based charity PETI, People For The Ethical Treatment Of invertebrates, have today confirmed they are launcing a campaign to release up to 150,000 head lice from childrens hair across the UK. A...

deadstarter 28.03.13 4:46pm
White Vibrator Fuzzy Fanny (WVFF) Cracked

Health Officials have confirmed that the incidence of White Vibrator Fuzzy Fanny (WVFF) has almost been erradicated amongst young females. The introduction of high tech alternatives eg Rampant Rabbit...

Nosey 28.03.13 4:45pm
Papal foot wash now most popular Red Letter Day treat 0
cinquecento 28.03.13 3:57pm
Doctor Who baffled by new Doctor Who series

The Time Lord today admitted he will be baffled by the new series when it was shown the day after tomorrow in 4,759 BC. 'I've watched the whole series next year, and I'm utterly stumped by...

John Wiltshire 28.03.13 3:51pm
No safe sex for man with triangular penis 0
sydalg 28.03.13 3:42pm
M&S to stop randomising pre-packed salad ingredients

Marks and Spencer today announced that they will stop randomising the ingredients of their pre-packed salads. The Head of Pre-Packed Salads, Don Mar, said that this would mean the end of salads such...

John Wiltshire 28.03.13 3:34pm
John Wiltshire
SA PM confirms Oscar Pistorius will not lead gun salute at Mandela funeral 0
custard cream 28.03.13 3:12pm
custard cream
Liam Byrne appointed new head of Cyprus bank

Former Treasury Secretary Liam Byrne was today appointed head of banking in Cyprus. In an interview, he said: 'Something needs to be done rapidly and urgently, otherwise it will be too late for me...

John Wiltshire 28.03.13 1:55pm
John Wiltshire
Oscar Pistorius allowed to go abroad to compete in 12-bore rifle competition

A South African court today cleared Oscar Pistorius to travel abroad to take part in shooting competitions. In his ruling, Judge C Nile said: 'I thought he did running, but apparently he wants to...

John Wiltshire 28.03.13 1:45pm
John Wiltshire
Adele 'embarrassed and ashamed' at lack of wardrobe malfunction

Top female singer Adele said today that she was 'embarrassed and ashamed' that she has not had a wardrobe malfunction at any of her appearances, but has instead relied on her ability to sing. In an...

John Wiltshire 28.03.13 1:38pm
John Wiltshire
Stones to play Glas-Stannah-bury... 3
Tripod 28.03.13 12:36pm
Midfield Diamond
Gullibility meter ‘set for Spring launch’, says Apple...

The new device, to be worn on the wrist, will monitor the user’s susceptibility to hi-tech wizardry and their willingness to hand over hard-earned cash for every new gadget that comes on the market...

Tripod 28.03.13 12:30pm
2013th anniversary of Jesus getting banged up for crimes he never done

The 2013th anniversary of Jesus of Nazareth getting banged up for a crime he didn't do is to be marked with massive sales of confectionary that is so appalling that the EC refuses to recognise it as...

ronseal 28.03.13 12:25pm
David Milliband leaves politics to spend LESS time with his family. 2
Ian Searle 28.03.13 11:01am
Sports News: Boxing: Webber to Retyre after China

more soon....

BewsNiscuit 28.03.13 10:56am
Boat race wild card for University of Wolverhampton

With no history of competitive rowing, Wolverhampton are an outside shot for Sunday's boat race after they won a playing field flattening wild card entry to the prestigious event. Despite having no...

BAJDixon 28.03.13 9:42am
Pope to ask young offenders if they want to be washed 'there' as well 0
Idiot 28.03.13 9:41am
Catholic Church hit by podophilia scandal

Reports of widespread abuse of feet by Catholic priests threatens to engulf the Catholic Church barely two weeks after the election of Pope Francis. And the scandal is expected to reach the Pope...

roybland 28.03.13 9:25am
Pope Francis or Pope Benedict - which is better?

There's only one way to find out. ..FIGHT!...

deskpilot3 28.03.13 9:18am
Taxes to rise for benefit claimants, pensioners, families with children....

students, single parent families, co-habiting couples, over 75's, lesbians, asylum seekers, toddlers, white-van-man, the self employed and chocolate lovers. In a separate move, MPs have voted...

deskpilot3 28.03.13 9:16am
Street cleaners celebrate as Paula Radcliffe stops running

More to follow...

apepper 28.03.13 8:56am
Cyprus hopes to reopen banks in time for the start of the Bank Holiday 1
medici2471 28.03.13 7:22am
Three-way IVF treatment ‘not as good as it sounds’ admits HFEA

Men’s interest in the proposed three-way IVF treatment cooled considerably overnight when it was revealed egg fertilisation would not necessarily include a sex romp with the wife’s sister or one...

Gerontius 28.03.13 12:27am