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Bye-bye by-election under the 'Curse of Eastleigh'

The three main parties have today made the surprise announcement that they do not intend to field candidates at the next Eastleigh by-election, on superstitious grounds. Previous MPs have all fallen...

4
Squudge 06.02.13 7:42am
Squudge
"Sheer luxury,lads! I were put under t'car park for 517 years!" 0
Iscariot 06.02.13 12:07am
Iscariot
Michael Parkinson ‘proud of his manboobs’

“I’ve met thousands of fascinating people and have some wonderful mammaries” he said...

0
Reg Herring 05.02.13 11:58pm
Reg Herring
Horse salesman's descendent claims kingdom

A descendent of a 15th century horse trader has claimed that he gave Richard III a horse shortly after the then King offered his kingdom in exchange. "Luckily, he kept the receipt.", explained,...

0
apepper 05.02.13 11:45pm
apepper
BDA in switch from mercury to lead/uranium ore amalgam

Coming under pressure for having advocated the use of mercury-containing amalgam dental fillings for two centuries, the British Dental Association (BDA)recently took the unprecedented step of...

0
bumtrinket 05.02.13 11:44pm
bumtrinket
Irish Church 'never discriminated by race or gender' in its child abuse 0
cinquecento 05.02.13 11:24pm
cinquecento
Huhne to be sentenced to re-marry Pryce as 'deterrent' 3
Squudge 05.02.13 10:39pm
Tripod
Mis-spelling debacle could cost £3.6billion, admits Barclays Wank. 1
Boutros 05.02.13 10:32pm
sponge finger
Remains of Richard III owing more than £10 Million in car park fees

While the discovery of the remains of Richard III in a Leicester car park have been met with much joy, it has also incurred the long-dead monarch over £10 Million in parking fees. The long-overdue...

0
05.02.13 10:13pm
BREAKING: London Olympics took place in 2012

In what some are calling the archaeological discovery of the decade, it has been discovered that the London Olympics were actually held last year. The games have long been considered greater, and...

0
05.02.13 9:52pm
God won over to gay marriage by promise of 'really spectacular' cakes & flowers 0
Nowherefast 05.02.13 9:45pm
Nowherefast
Newsbizkit websyte tryalz orto spelchekker 0
misterjingles 05.02.13 9:04pm
misterjingles
House of Commons votes

Nah - not funny. Must take more water with it...

1
dvo4fun 05.02.13 8:47pm
Squudge
Queen Rules On Richard III Burials

The Queen has today settled the dispute between Leicester and York with regard to the re-burial of Richard III's bones by ruling that the skeleton be divided. The Queen's representative in such...

0
Mike Turbine-Hamilton 05.02.13 8:24pm
Mike Turbine-Hamilton
"God created me as well" says Steve

Early human Steve has spoken of his anger at what he sees as the whitewashing of his exploits from the bible story. Steve is understood to have been created by God from some nearby twigs on the...

0
BAJDixon 05.02.13 7:45pm
BAJDixon
Gay marriage to be made “compulsory”...

Due to errors with the order papers and voting procedures, MPs have voted not merely to allow gay marriage, but to make it compulsory. “The double negative on the ballot paper seems to have caused...

0
Tripod 05.02.13 7:35pm
Tripod
Arab countires complain Dyson Airblade 'takes too long to punish thieves' 0
One Line Only 05.02.13 4:55pm
One Line Only
Dyson launch new 'Jeans' range of most efficient hand dryers 0
charlies_hat 05.02.13 4:51pm
charlies_hat
Hague meet Argentine Foreign Minister - offers Northern Ireland instead... 1
GreenCross 05.02.13 4:42pm
AReader
Banks ordered to separate into “nice bits” and “dodgy bits”

British Banks must ring fence their “well dodgy bits” and keep them entirely separate from their “nice smiley bits”, the Chancellor of the Exchequer warned today. Branch staff have largely...

0
nickb 05.02.13 3:20pm
nickb
Rebecca Adlington quits swimming to spend more time with her spoon. 7
wallster 05.02.13 3:15pm
The Real Rebecca
Kingdom for a horse would be "a good deal" concedes chancellor

Chancellor of the Exchequer, George Osborne, has said that if someone offered a horse for the United Kingdom, he'd bite their hands off. "A live horse in exchange for a trillion pound debt? What's...

0
apepper 05.02.13 2:42pm
apepper
Huhne six month driving ban ‘unlikely to be a problem’ 0
medici2471 05.02.13 2:28pm
medici2471
Huhne quits to spend less time with family & more time with Big Ron on 'E' Wing

more later. Sorry...

0
dvo4fun 05.02.13 2:21pm
dvo4fun
There's a guy works down the chip shop swears he's Reg. 1
wallster 05.02.13 1:44pm
Drylaw
Savile and Richard III: A Tale of Two Yorkshiremen

Talk about contrasting fates. Savile was a national treasure until after he was buried, when he was found out to be a monster. Richard III was a monster until he was dug up, now he's a national...

0
TheStacemeister 05.02.13 1:22pm
TheStacemeister
Fifa to investigate claims that pools pannel fixed match results 0
Scronnyglonkle 05.02.13 1:22pm
Scronnyglonkle
Police reveal Andrew Mitchell called Reg Presley "Trog" 0
Scronnyglonkle 05.02.13 1:19pm
Scronnyglonkle
Facial reconstruction reveals Richard III looked like waxwork

Just sayin'...

0
beau-jolly 05.02.13 12:58pm
beau-jolly
John O farrell spiritual guru to the nation

John O Farrell founder of Newsbiscuit says Newsbiscuit has been such a sucsess that hes decided to reveal himself as the new Jesus to all his Newsbiscuit followers as in his words he said "they need...

0
Roger De Logerey 05.02.13 11:58am
Roger De Logerey