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World's first 3D microwave oven glasses unveiled at Kitchen Fest 0
custard cream 06.07.13 10:16am
custard cream
Vatican asked, "Why not canonise George and Ringo?" 2
Smart Alex 06.07.13 9:57am
Lindy Moone
Pro Forma Mafioso arrested in peppercorn extortion scam

Nominal gangster, Roberto Rucci, has been arrested by police in Napoli after a three month undercover operation involving several local businesses who had been targeted by the crook. Rucci, 39, had...

0
Tristan Shout 06.07.13 9:12am
Tristan Shout
BT phoneboxes will sell groceries

A plan to replace BT's few remaining phone boxes with slightly larger ones, equipped with three food isles, a freezer chest, rack of sweets and a self-scan checkout area could revolutionise the image...

3
Boutros 06.07.13 8:44am
Not Amused
3D TV sales are flat claims BBC

More to follow...

0
apepper 06.07.13 8:28am
apepper
Saudi’s draw a veil over female emancipation. 0
godly1966 06.07.13 8:16am
godly1966
Bruce Forsyth diagnosed with bipolar after shouting 'High, low, high' to doctor 1
NorthernGravy 06.07.13 6:31am
Titus
Isle of Wight residents warned to safeguard milk supplies as a Humphrey's about 0
bonjonelson 06.07.13 12:22am
bonjonelson
Unemployed Morsi To Take Up New Career In Oxford As Detective - Buys Red Jaguar 0
Titus 05.07.13 10:24pm
Titus
Labour And Unite Union Secretly Plan To Give Miliband Opportunity To Look Tough 0
Titus 05.07.13 10:13pm
Titus
God abandons 3D reality citing "lack of interest"

More to follow...

2
apepper 05.07.13 9:27pm
Titus
Vatican blame typo as Pope John Paul II made a Stain. 2
MADJEZ 05.07.13 8:51pm
irreverendJ
UK Armed Forces poised to take control if Murray fails at Wimbledon

The current febrile and increasing unstable state of the nation was highlighted yesterday in this tense statement by the Head of UK Joint Forces, General Digby Fanshawe-Ffynnes: "As the nation...

8
custard cream 05.07.13 8:06pm
Dick Everyman
As Murray falters occasional Newsbiscuit contributor Duff polishes up 'The Joke"

Hoots mon!...

0
Duff 05.07.13 7:49pm
Duff
Mandela voted bookies' favourite statesman

Now largely neglected by students' unions and left-wing councils, the former ANC leader has become the icon of bookmakers all over England after the massive losses of punters who voted on him dying...

1
sydalg 05.07.13 6:57pm
Wrenfoe
Paranoia helpline still awaiting first call. 1
sredni vashta 05.07.13 6:47pm
Lindy Moone
Oftel fine More Than Insurance for employing Infinite Monkeys in call centre

"They didn't even have computers, merely electronic typewriters, and seemingly not a single simian employee knew how to replace the paper sheet...

0
gaijintendo 05.07.13 5:55pm
gaijintendo
Superslow broadband rollout is on schedule

The very slow rollout of very fast broadband is keeping to the projected drawn-out timetable set by the government. With unusual foresight, the government put plans in place for a gradual and...

3
NewBiscuit 05.07.13 5:28pm
Jesus H
BBC 3DOA

So no Question Time 3D then. Damn and triple damn...

0
sredni vashta 05.07.13 4:59pm
sredni vashta
People living in Poverty should move, says Tory MP

Conservative Member of Parliament for Winchester Sir Augustus Gideon-Blake has called on families living in the town of Poverty to leave the area. He told reporters: “Honestly the place sounds...

6
sdritchie 05.07.13 4:36pm
Squudge
Bruce Lee in the French sea? Burnt cream pudding? 0
Al OPecia 05.07.13 4:08pm
Al OPecia
'Father Green' most common name among French Catholic priests 5
Idiot 05.07.13 3:44pm
Lindy Moone
Eastenders "better than Rohypnol", says convicted rapist 0
sydalg 05.07.13 2:53pm
sydalg
Black theologians accused of Uncle Thomism 0
sydalg 05.07.13 2:53pm
sydalg
Advert: Stand out from the crowd of black umbrellas with a new cream brolly. 3
FOAD 05.07.13 12:22pm
Lindy Moone
Trainee actuary breaks world sneeze speed record

Pole Jerzy Janowicz may have the fastest serve at Wimbledon but Britain’s own Alan Moore has broken the record for the world’s fastest sneeze. Alan, a trainee actuary at Friends Life, frequently...

0
blacklesbianandproudofit 05.07.13 12:03pm
blacklesbianandproudofit
British woman on cycling holiday accidentally wins stage 7 of Tour de France

Sporting history was made today as a female British tourist became the first ever none-professional cyclist to win a stage of the world's most prestigious and gruelling sporting events - the Tour de...

4
NorthernGravy 05.07.13 12:00pm
NorthernGravy
World War 3 disqualified after too many false starts. 1
sredni vashta 05.07.13 11:49am
Wrenfoe
Survey of TV news shows 70% of school children only exist from the waist down

A further 20% are blurred and out of focus, with the final 10% suffering from severe pixellation or blockiness around the face...

2
Ian Searle 05.07.13 11:42am
sredni vashta
Radio 4's The Now Show to be re-named The 30 minute Daily Mail Infomercial Show

Radio 4 has decided to rebrand one of its comedy staples in order to reflect its narrow, bourgeois obsessions. The Now Show is to be re-named The 30 Minute Daily Mail Informercial Show, following...

4
ronseal 05.07.13 11:35am
custard cream