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EU: Curries must be from an Indian 0
4 years

Restaurant that is, not some random on the street...

‘Conservation grade’ meat to salve carnivores’ conscience... 1
Doylem 4 years

Concerned carnivores who want to salve their consciences can now buy 'conservation grade' meat. They will feel better, apparently, knowing that the animals they eat have enjoyed meaningful lives....

UK Border Patrol Lurches into action as Team Libya 2012 arrives early 0
4 years
Shelves used to shelve shelved Forestry Plan made using wood from UK Forests - 23 64
captain747480 4 years

The UK Government was today under fire after it emerged that plans to sell off 15% of the UK's forests had been shelved on shelves that had been made out of wood from UK forests...

Arab crisis feared to seriously impact global climate 1
4ty2 4 years

The crisis is already blamed for seismic shifts in the political landscape of the middle east and conspiracy therorists investigate if the uproar in the Muslim world might have triggered the...

BAA run Tripoli airport shut due to sand on the runway. 0
MADJEZ 4 years

Evacuation hampered. More soon...

Libyan protests provide welcome boost to British felt-tip-pen industry. 0
MADJEZ 4 years Others prefer more exotic colours.,

Victoria Beckham to give birth on 'One Born Every Minute' 0
cuckoowatoo 4 years

In an attempt to prove that she is not too ‘posh to push’ Victoria Beckham has today announced her intention to appear on the Channel 4 hit show 'One Born Every Minute'. Baby number four is due...

Neighbors call police after Lionel Richie keeps partying all night long 11
Dumbnews 4 years
Typo leaves cornice pasties protected 2
simonjmr 4 years
Gadaffi taunts protestors for a showdown in "Call of Duty" 0
Dumbnews 4 years
Lancet: Alcohol is good/bad for you (delete as appropriate). 0
beau-jolly 4 years
Kentucky Fried Chicken wins 'raised by racists' accolade... 2
Doylem 4 years

Following the news that Cornish pasties have been awarded Protected Geographical Indication status, meaning they can only be made in Cornwall, KFC has won special status too. From today, only...

Protestors demand Gadaffi demote himself 0
Dumbnews 4 years
Poisoned Apple - 7 diminutive arbiters called in by Jobs 0
simonjmr 4 years
EU: Jam Butties must be from Knottyash 1
beau-jolly 4 years

Jam Butties have been given protected status by the European Commission., It has been a long journey from the jam butty mines of Knottyash to the corridors of Brussels, but a sticky snack familiar...

Nurses blamed for high blood pressure 12
beau-jolly 4 years

Patients suspected of having high blood pressure will get another check at home because of fears that nurses in stocking and tight, crisp, white uniforms may be leading to too many people being...

Gadaffi's no.2 defects from him suddenly and unexpectedly (putting it politely) 0
Skylarking 4 years

More soon after a change of clothing...

Col Gadaffi showing lack of ambition...No military promotion in 40 years!! 0
Oh Danny Boy 4 years

Cols Sanders and Mustard said to be preparing themselves for appraisals...

Cameron relaunches Big Society as "Big Club" 0
Sinnick 4 years
He needs bulletproof vests. Say no to MPs expenses. 0
martin2381 4 years
Nick Clegg to play with tiny steering wheel during Prime Minister’s Questions 9
Ludicity 4 years

Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg is to be given a tiny steering wheel, just like Maggie from The Simpsons, while David Cameron is answering Prime Minister’s Questions. ‘The wheel was a crucial...

clegg needs bullet proof west, not alternative vote 0
4ty2 4 years

to protect him from radical student protesters and other voters who feel betrayed...

US citizens to be rendered in response to continued Energy Insecurity 17
maurice0c 4 years

In a return to “traditional values and the American way” it has been revealed that obese citizens of the United States are to be rendered down upon death rather than decomposing slowly in...

Emminem unveiled for Queens Jubilee 0
simonjmr 4 years

Her name is - urgh, Her name is - urgh, Her name is - urgh, H R H Lizzy Windsor More soon...

Structure of T in the Park "close to collapse" after Coldplay confirmed to play. 1
MC One R 4 years

Experts were warning today that the whole structure of the "T in the Park" festival could collapse at any time after it was confirmed that Coldplay will be the headline warblers this year. "I only...

Justin Bieber waxwork on schedule to be "more realistic than original" 0
MC One R 4 years

Pop child Justin Bieber has been measured for a waxwork. Experts are confident that the details are so accurate, it will be impossible to tell the waxwork from the real thing. "In fact", said Tony...

Cameron caught off-mic muttering "This is how you sort the Middle East, Tony". 0
MC One R 4 years

"Who's your Middle East peace envoy, huh?" More soon...

Ancelotti "unconcerned" that two-bit players making £50m look a bit pricey. 0
MC One R 4 years
Newcastle start drilling in search of football success 0
MC One R 4 years

"We haven't had a lot of success on the surface", said a Newcastle United spokesperson, "So we thought maybe if we look at the bedrock of the city, we can finally locate that missing something. To...