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Optimistic homosexual sees arse half full

Lowering the tone since 1843 ....

Yikes 27.03.13 11:00pm
Paddy Berzinski
Paula Radcliffe retires: “Now, if I shit in the street, it’s just for fun"... 2
Tripod 27.03.13 10:59pm
J Vine
Leading Mastectomy Surgeon Struck Off had Tanks for the Mammaries 0
Big Ben 27.03.13 9:36pm
Big Ben
Man attacks woman he met in real world 1
Dumbnews 27.03.13 9:27pm
Big Ben
Leaking News : Great Gravy Train Robber pisses pants at funeral.

A retired replacement driver was recently spotted by train spotters at a funeral of one of the apparently "Great Train Robbers" with what appeared to be dried gravy granules in his underpants, his...

Tess Goes 27.03.13 9:17pm
Big Ben
Lambs criticised over irresponsible ‘sleigh ride’ prank

Lambs on the Isle of man have been criticised by rescue workers for feigning injury and frost bite just so they can take a ride on a sleigh., Some lambs were seen burying themselves back in the snow...

Gerontius 27.03.13 9:12pm
Big Ben
Boy with a bum for a face 'made to look like an arse'.

A Channel 5 documentary due to be aired tonight has been criticised for putting a stain on the reputation of Billy Bum-Cheek, also known as 'the boy with a bum for a face'. The documentary team...

Lens Cap 27.03.13 9:10pm
Big Ben
Big growth in scapegoat population survey shows

The number of scapegoats in their natural habitats around the Downing Street area of South West London has increased according to a Scapegoat Society survey. 'The recent release of several...

roybland 27.03.13 9:09pm
Huhne denies feeling nervous as fellow prisoners vote him Britain's Sexiest Man 0
sydalg 27.03.13 8:50pm
Farmers' joy as lost new-born lambs located, rescued, sent to abattoir 2
Oxbridge 27.03.13 8:45pm
Lib Dems to hold Peace Riot on April 1st

From our political correspondent Rufus Tyler:, A large number of Lib Dems (well twenty or so - that IS a large number) have expressed a great anger about many issues today and are planning a...

Flash! Aa-aaaa! 27.03.13 8:44pm
International Rescue Committee to help Labour party 0
custard cream 27.03.13 6:48pm
custard cream
Dionne Warwick reported lost “somewhere between here and San Jose”... 0
Tripod 27.03.13 4:43pm
David Milliband quits politics to fly Thunderbirds 0
Idiot 27.03.13 4:26pm
Dionne Warwick files for bankruptcy, owing $10m

Wrapped in an old sleeping bag and sitting on a damp patch of cardboard outside a Beverley Hills' McDonalds, a bad-tempered and clearly intoxicated Warwick growled at passers-by, "When you see me...

Walter Eagle 27.03.13 4:20pm
‘Woodworm in my rocking-horse’ starts trend for middle-class misery memoires...

“Readers have become bored with all that working class misery”, says publisher Samantha de Lyle. “They’re fed up with clogs, shawls, bad weather and grinding poverty. When confronted by yet...

Tripod 27.03.13 4:05pm
Lens Cap
Huhne wishes he'd thought of Miliband's "gone to America" explanation 0
sydalg 27.03.13 3:34pm
Beeching’s axe to join Bowie knife and Colt 45 in Armouries Museum... 0
Tripod 27.03.13 3:30pm
Bank of England tells banks to raise £25bn .....

.. no problem, a levy of 15% of savers deposits should do - it's allowed, if the EU can do it, so can we !

HenryMJUK 27.03.13 3:19pm
Heathrow rebranded "London Ali G Airport"

Heathrow has become the latest international airport to raise its global profile by adopting the name of a local celebrity, it was confirmed yesterday. 'Mr G would have seen jets roaring over...

SuburbanDad 27.03.13 3:16pm
Somerset village cricket team banned for enjoying itself too much

Cricketers in the Somerset village of Charlton Pilchered, who finished bottom of their district league last summer, will not be permitted to enter the competition this year. Blazered and flanneled...

Midfield Diamond 27.03.13 3:00pm
Midfield Diamond
Ed Miliband's new brother to be chosen in the Ghastleigh by-election.

Anyone fancy standing?...

wallster 27.03.13 2:25pm
Teresa May but Abu can't harm her 0
irreverendJ 27.03.13 1:16pm
Police Shoot Dogs, Claiming "The Dogs Were Pointing Guns At Us"

Titus 27.03.13 12:47pm
Summit cancelled when Cameron arrives at Surrey CC for meeting in Oval office. 0
weematt 27.03.13 12:29pm
Bald kid, 7, said to be “stoical about celebrating Christmas in July”... 1
Tripod 27.03.13 12:19pm
Easter Egg manufacturers to hide DVD's and Computer games in their products. 2
Ian Searle 27.03.13 12:19pm
Ian Searle
UK Economy Booms Again as World Goes Mad for British Easter Eggs

George Osborne was celebrating yesterday as figures were released showing a complete turnaround for the British economy thanks to international orders for British Easter eggs and related services...

james_patching_1 27.03.13 11:36am
"FAB" says Ed as he recommends big brother David for job on Thunderbird 5 0
Nowherefast 27.03.13 11:27am
Eddie Mair interviews Usain Bolt, "You're a hasty piece of work, aren't you?"

More even sooner than you'd think...

Walter Eagle 27.03.13 10:29am
Walter Eagle