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Isle of Wight man calls police after finding bank open on a Saturday 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
President of Kyrgyzstan in desperate plea for more vowels 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Apple announce revolutionary new i-ron 2
fernandomando 3 years

Steve Jobs today held yet another press conference to announce an exciting new technology designed to satisfy the demand from customers. At a packed conference centre in San Francisco the ‘i-ron’...

Egon Ronay's funeral to be given 3 stars. more soon 0
martin2381 3 years
Egon Ronay to be cremated at gas mark four for one hour with red wine and garlic 0
rickwestwell 3 years
Stephen Fry Deployed to Tackle Urbane Fox Menace 1
Quaz 3 years

Plans to lure them into the First Night of a Noel Coward play, then kill them with poisoned canapes during the interval...

Desperate Andrew fiddled with Honours List, claims palace insider. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years

A spokeman for Her Majesty the Queen has quashed rumours, before they even start, that the Birthday Honours List is just "an excuse for Prince Andrew to find a new bird"., A source close to the...

Government to merge Met.Police and Met Office 2
virtuallywill 3 years

You are forecast to fall down some stairs...

Police investigating Egon Ronay's death question 800 restauranteurs with grudges 1
dominic_mcg 3 years
Stoke man fined for striking happy medium 0
PluckyMunky 3 years

Cheerful clairvoyant, Rita Spamley, reported David Ashburger to the police, after he had allegedly hit her across the face after a reading. 'For a moment, I saw stars', said Ms Spamley. Ashburger was...

Fox Savages Illegal Immigrant Paedophile, Daily Mail Now Confused 3
Svendo 3 years
Police investigating Egon Ronay's death question 800 restauranteurs with grudges 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
David Cameron says: 'I can probably stop the oil leak single handed' 0
PluckyMunky 3 years

'It is certainly something Labour could never have done.'...

Dancer, Michael Flatley's feet fall off after 35 taps a second record 0
PluckyMunky 3 years

He remains philosophical. 'I will set up the record for tapping with stumps', says a jolly Lord of the Dance. 'No more flatley feet for me.'...

Correction 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years

'Teen sailor Abby Sunderland rescued from French fishermen' should have read 'Teen sailor Abby Sunderland rescued by French fishermen'...

man and wife arrested for indecency in south africa 0
arthurminnit 3 years

"I only told him to blow my vuvuzela!", says wife, as husband picks curly hairs from between front teeth...

Egon Ronay's condition described as 'critical' for last 60 years 0
rickwestwell 3 years
Urban Hunt cause mayhem in town centre chasing fox 0
Basil_B 3 years

A total of twenty people were described as being in serious to stable condition in hospital today after a hunt took it upon themselves to try and catch the fox that had been at the centre of this...

'My years in prison 'insignificant' compared to England's 44 years of hurt' 0
fernandomando 3 years

states Mandela...

Harvey Nichols getting hammered over decision to sell bed of nails. 0
Basil_B 3 years
'44 years of hurt not really that painful' admits Greavsie 0
jp1885 3 years
Satanic lingerie company releases diabolical liberty bodice 0
jp1885 3 years
Maradonna employs South African Rugby Team to coach handling techniques. 0
Basil_B 3 years

Springboks coach Peter De Villiers said ' there is nothing we can teach the master himself and his team but there is always room for improvement in cheating techniques errrr sorry I mean handling...

No Dispair at Met Office over annual BBQ Summer Prediction 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years

'Its got to happen one year.'...

Coulthard on criticism over his honour. ' I've got a broad chin, I can take it' 0
Basil_B 3 years

More dubious honours soon...

5,221 People Mauled by Dogs Last Year. 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years

anyway getting back to the fox. When will there be a nationwide cull? Is the fox hunting ban to blame? should the hunts be allowed to roam through towns at night? More hysteria later...

Charity shop overwhelmed after Browns donate family possessions 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years

The book list includes 'Financial Regulation for Dummies', 'How to Complicate Tax' and an xmas gift 'Faith in Foreign Policy through Military Means' signed by T Blair...

BP's crude oil plan fails 0
jkdune 3 years

BP, Britain’s largest oil company and one of the world’s environmental thought-leaders, has suffered a major setback in their latest attempt to save the world from climate change. Having been...

Alan Rickman to play title role in The Tony Hayward Story 0
Stan Laurel 3 years
Obama u-turn on BP when adviser reminds him he owns shares 0
riesler 3 years

Bought them with his Union Carbide profits...