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Afghan pregnancy rate soars as UK bomb experts neutralise thousands of IUDs 0
pinxit 3 years

'Ooops' say M.O.D...

IPhone release World Cup app that translates players swear words 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Hamas rejects Israel-approved snack foods for not including Hummus 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Man who laid turf in front room "unlikely to lay anything else", say friends 3
rickwestwell 3 years
Popular Singer to Be Cast As Princess Of Wales in Biopic 0
Svendo 3 years

Dido is Lady Di in Dodi and Di: The Day They Died...

After hopping in March and skipping in April, China exports jump in May. 0
Basil_B 3 years

Look out for a long jump in June...

Physicists who 'burst bubble mystery' now working on 'popping cherry' 3
Rorschach 3 years
Chicken Walks Backwards 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

A Wakefield, West Yorkshire woman says that her chicken, called Rita, only walks backwards., When asked how she felt about it, she replied 'Well, it'll soon be Christmas then.'...

New automated Bob Crow will revolutionise business 0
StoopyDeGunt 3 years

SWP Productions has unveiled the new, intelligent Bob Crow 2.0, an automated system which could, quite literally, revolutionise business. Unlike previous revolutionary business technology, Crow 2.0...

Cuts Latest: Wales and Scotland to close with immediate effect 4
PluckyMunky 3 years

Northern Ireland to be debated a little...

New residence prompts speculation of monarchy takeover bid 1
QorbeQ 3 years

Details of a new formal residence for Her Majesty the Queen have been released today in a statement made by heir apparent, the Prince of Wales. According to Prince Charles, the Queen will shortly be...

Man mistakenly pronounced dead whilst making chilli con carne 0
Iamthestig 3 years

Paramedics where unable to find a pulse So sorry for this...

Housewife to Sue Cillit Bang after dirt came back 1
Iamthestig 3 years
US and UK condemn Mexico over the state of their Gulf 0
edward hack 3 years
World's newest leather shoe briefly discovered on end of Clarks production line 0
QorbeQ 3 years
World Cup latest. USA 5, England 0 (HT) 2
Ostsee 3 years
World's oldest leather shoe found in Little Chef beef curry. More soon. 1
QorbeQ 3 years
England agree to throw opening game to appease U.S over oil slick 0
Basil_B 3 years

'We're also throwing in a bung so large it will fill their bloody leak in one hit' said a flustered F.A. Spokesman David Davies. 'Next time theres a friendly fire incident out in Afghanistan we want...

Church congregation smashes windows on sink council estate. 0
Stan Laurel 3 years
Capello insists he has clear World Cup exit strategy 13
Genghis Cohen 3 years

Fabio Capello hit back last night after the international community criticised the England football team for becoming embroiled in yet another intractable foreign campaign that everyone agrees is...

James Corden eats Patrick Stewart during Glamour Awards spat 0
jp1885 3 years
New Scientist Magazine Produces World Cup Survival Phrasebook 0
Svendo 3 years

New Scientist Magazine will this week include a Survival guide of vague footballing observations to be used by ordinary people not enraptured by the thought of hundreds of millionaires running about...

BP to change name to British New Petroleum in effort to improve image 0
virtuallywill 3 years

more acronyms later...

England to issue BP flags to fans for their first match. 0
Griffin 3 years
Inhabitants of B B House crushed to death as demolishers start work too early. 2
Basil_B 3 years

Three months too early...

Miliband transferred his vote to Lib Dems to ensure as many PMs as possible 0
euankitson 3 years
Labour leadership candidates enter Big Brother house 2
jp1885 3 years
Waitress afraid to ask elephant man in the tea room 3
ramblesnake 3 years

if he'd like a bun...

Graduates to join chain gangs in radical university shake up 0
PluckyMunky 3 years

All graduates are to serve on chain gangs for two years, after graduating. In his Green Paper, 'We Don't Need No Education', the education secretary outlined his big idea. The chain gangs will work...

Capello and Gove battle it out for 'Face of the Year' trophy 0
PluckyMunky 3 years

'Both are handsome men', purred Peter Mandelson. 'I rather suspect that Lord Lloyd Webber may come third'...