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Richard Branson sets new world record for self-publicity 0
Ian Searle 02.07.12 7:08am
Ian Searle
Scientologists brand Murdoch 'creepy and evil'

More later...

Ian 02.07.12 6:26am
Richard Branson becomes first person to walk across the English Channel. 0
Ian Searle 02.07.12 6:10am
Ian Searle
Local man upgrades to less dumb phone 0
Dumbnews 02.07.12 4:57am
"Who Gives A Fuck" To Be Added To US Ballot In November

"Who Gives A Fuck" has beaten out intense competition from "Politicans Are Human Scum" and "They're Both Wankers" to emerge as the official third party candidate in this year's American elections....

Textbook 02.07.12 1:00am
Bookies slash odds on a Briton wining the Olympic Flame relay 0
bonjonelson 01.07.12 8:33pm
'50 shades of gey' best selling book in Brighton. 0
MADJEZ 01.07.12 7:40pm
Euro final, anthems replaced with 'Una paloma blanca' and 'Shaddupyaface'.

Rogue England fans sought. More soon...

MADJEZ 01.07.12 7:36pm
50 Shades of Grey will now have a Chav Style Follow up

After the phenomenal success of sales with 50 Shades of Grey, the author has decided to release a second & third book in the series aimed at the Chav community after repeated requests from Tracy...

Timerman 01.07.12 7:35pm
'Withdraw life-support' from George Osborne call

Demands are growing at Westminster for the withdrawal of life-support from Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne. Osborne, who is rarely seen in public and is believed to have been in a...

roybland 01.07.12 6:00pm
Wales to go online with Minitel

Walles to go onlline with minitell ll ll...

miked10270 01.07.12 1:17pm
Gold for Britain as Thomas beats Bolt .

Britain gained a surprise gold medal in the men’s one hundred metre final . Jamaican Usain Bolt who was expected to easily win was shocked to be beaten and also see his world record smashed by...

mrlemoncurry 01.07.12 12:56pm
'Wrong flame' mix up causes Olympic torch relay to be rerun.

There were embarrassed faces at the LOCOG as it emerged that the Jubilee beacon and Olympic flames had been mixed up. It is thought to have started as a prank by junior members of both teams after a...

MADJEZ 01.07.12 11:24am
Online gamers become first to complete Internet on hardest setting

Two unemployed men from Woking in Surrey have become the first people to complete The Internet on the hardest setting, game designer Sir Tim Berners-Lee confirmed today. 34 year old Michael Roberts...

grumblechops 01.07.12 11:16am
Wiltshire man to be ONLY person in UK NOT to carry the sodding Olympic torch. 1
MADJEZ 01.07.12 10:54am
LAPD honour guard to beat Rodney King's coffin with sticks at funeral.

Before firing a volley of teargas over the crowd., More soon...

MADJEZ 01.07.12 10:47am
Platini changes for Euro 2020.

Uefa president Michel Platini has indicated there may be changes in the holding of the European Championships after 2020 . First the tournament could be held in thirteen locations in different...

mrlemoncurry 01.07.12 12:22am
No free NHS help for victims of rogue crystal healers

Most NHS Trusts in England and Wales have confirmed today they will not be providing free medical treatment for conditions caused by rogue crystal healers. Pixie Moonbeam, from Nottinghamshire, is...

bonjonelson 30.06.12 10:38pm
Everyone who ‘backed the bid’ picked for Team GB

Following criticism that David Beckham should have been included in the GB Olympic football team for all his hard work in helping to win the Games for London, the British Olympic Association (BOA)...

ianslat 30.06.12 10:34pm
Dyslexics celebrate 'Formed Arses Day' with a march past. 2
MADJEZ 30.06.12 5:31pm
Haywood Manley
Britain's banks downgraded to 'bastards'

Britain’s banks are under fire once again, after rating agency Moody’s downgraded them to ‘a shower of bastards’. While investors at HSBC are still regarded by many observers as...

Nunnion Splendacular 30.06.12 4:38pm
Katy Holmes cites religious differences. She's a Christian he's a whack-job. 3
MADJEZ 30.06.12 4:36pm
London 2012: East London residents march over missiles

The UK government plans to deploy the weapons on six sites in London East London residents opposed to plans to site surface-to-air missiles on roofs for security during the Olympics, are marching...

Timerman 30.06.12 4:32pm
Pub where all the jokes happened closes down

JD Wetherspoon has announced the closure of the King's Arms, a historic Victorian hostelry close to Lingfield Park racecourse in Sussex. According to regional director Trevor Lawrence, a series of...

Oxbridge 30.06.12 2:35pm
‘Bostin’, best day of my life’ says Birmingham man

A Birmingham man who spent nearly 29 hours on a concrete ledge overlooking the inner ring road at Paradise Circus has said it was the best time he had ever known on a day out in Birmingham town...

Nobby Holder 30.06.12 2:11pm
Border patrol put on red alert as east coast mainline reopens. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 30.06.12 12:21pm
Thatcher "unlikely to be called" in Banking Enquiry. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 30.06.12 10:37am
Al OPecia
Murray asks for voodoo doll refund as Federer scrapes through. 1
JETFAB 30.06.12 10:36am
Islamist Egyptian President sworn in

"What the fuck have we done" say Egyptians...

rustytruss 30.06.12 10:29am
June is forecast to be wettest for 100 years. Handsome elderly neighbor to blame

June is forecast to be wettest for 100 years. Handsome elderly neighbor to blame...

simonhansen 30.06.12 9:57am