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Councils prepare to be unprepared for snow 0
One Line Only 17.01.13 4:30pm
One Line Only
Helicopter crash 'only about 3 miles from where I live' says on-line dater

Eye-witness report, A young lady who was updating her on-line dating profile at the exact moment the helicopter crashed says the accident was only about 3 miles from where she lives and any single...

Gerontius 17.01.13 4:20pm
Son of Barnabas
Tour de France in Yorkshire and Paris-Dakar in South America due to Apple maps 0
gregle 17.01.13 3:58pm
Middle-class 'appalled' at being outed as burger eaters 0
One Line Only 17.01.13 3:47pm
One Line Only
Tesco horse “may have been supplied by Rebekah Brooks”

The now infamous horse, traces of which have been found in Tesco beef burgers, may be the one lent to Rebekah Brooks, former editor of the News of the World. Last year it emerged that Brooks was...

nickb 17.01.13 2:50pm
Tesco's horse radish is totally shit 0
Dick Everyman 17.01.13 2:49pm
Dick Everyman
Vauxhall crane driver to be docked 2 hours pay 0
Rootin Tootin 17.01.13 2:35pm
Rootin Tootin
Tour de France stages to start high in Yorkshire and end up shitfaced in London 0
One Line Only 17.01.13 2:28pm
One Line Only
Boeing Dreamliner 'huge success' in world's no fly zones 0
One Line Only 17.01.13 2:06pm
One Line Only
Adolf Hitler may be posthumously stripped of his Iron Cross (First Class) award. 0
bonjonelson 17.01.13 1:56pm
Google start 'real world' target based advertising

Internet search and online advertising giant Google has decided to enter into the ‘real world’ market with targeted advertising on billboards and bus shelters. The digital displays utilises...

Perks 17.01.13 1:40pm
Son of Barnabas
'A patientless NHS would save billions’ claims Health Secretary

Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt has said patients are costing the NHS billions of pounds every year and a move away from treating them would help make considerable savings., Mr.Hunt said he would like...

Geraldine Wiley 17.01.13 1:35pm
Son of Barnabas
Roman sacks vandals

Roman Abramovich’s advisors have informed all Chelsea supporters that as of 9AM this morning, they have been fired. Interim fans from the Organisation of Russian Commuting Supporters (ORCS) will...

chrisfgerard 17.01.13 1:29pm
Son of Barnabas
World's smartest man identified after posting on Mail Online for millionth time

A private investigator today announced that he'd finally managed to identify and locate the man who apparently knows everything there is to know about anything, and insists on telling readers of the...

Paddy Berzinski 17.01.13 1:27pm
Psycadelic Squirrel
Fashion retailers fear huge increase in men lurking outside changing rooms

The loss of high street shops that men can get sent to while their partners try clothes on has led to them being forced to stand in the shop in the vicinity of the changing room. This in turn has...

Midfield Diamond 17.01.13 1:10pm
Ladbrooks to serve Filly Cheese Stake Sandwiches in betting shops 0
Scronnyglonkle 17.01.13 12:50pm
Tesco latest: Newsbiscuit writer accused of flogging dead horse

More follows...

apepper 17.01.13 12:42pm
IOS Maps announce sponsorship of Yorkshire stage of 2014 Tour De France 0
Mark66 17.01.13 12:33pm
Tesco introduce 3 course meal range; Chepstow, Ascot and Aintree

More to follow...

apepper 17.01.13 11:28am
A horse a day, helps you work, rest and neigh.

You can use that one...

Lens Cap 17.01.13 11:21am
Lens Cap
Blockbuster should have charged for in-store Browsing, says expert

After the recent announcement that Blockbuster has bit the inevitable bullet, an expert from Dunsworth Primary, Essex, stated that they should have charged teenagers and their dads for browsing...

Makkers1 17.01.13 10:59am
Blockbuster CEO issues statement: "We just haven't got a clue what to do" 9
charlies_hat 17.01.13 10:54am
Euro now worth 82 HMV vouchers.

The Euro has soared to a new high against a basket of worthless high street vouchers. Once on a par with the Jessop, the multi-European coinage is currently trading at 61 Jessops, or roughly 82 HMVs....

Boutros 17.01.13 10:43am
UK Economy So Bad, People Take To Eating Horse Meat

Recent tests have shown that poverty levels in the UK have now become so bad that some people have taken to eating significant quantities of horse meat. It now appears that Tesco customers and...

Deimos 17.01.13 10:01am
Deep Lib Dem concern over the snow fall... they've already broken they sledge! 0
Ian Searle 17.01.13 9:15am
Ian Searle
Tesco denies its horseradish sauce contains cowslips

“Neigh, neigh and thrice neigh” said spokesperson Frankie Howerd “that would be udderly ridiculous. Oooh missus, don’t”, although he did concede horseburgers look a bit like cowpats...

Reg Herring 17.01.13 8:05am
Reg Herring
Fire Marshall training course failed to focus on plunging helicopter scenario

Stockport Council has issued a full apology following the omission of its staff training course to be able to deal with plunging helicopters pouring aviation fuel on surprised members of the public."...

antharrison 17.01.13 12:13am
Tesco in talks with Smint to develop Shergar-free mince

I know, I know. Disgraceful pun...

butagirl 16.01.13 11:37pm
South Yorkshire Police: "Eric Clapton guilty of shooting sheriff *and* deputy"

More to follow...

apepper 16.01.13 10:06pm
Norbury man wakes to hate the smell of his own farts

Until Christmas, Joe Ballard from Hatch Road, Norbury was like any adult male and used to love the smell of his own farts. "From the tiniest squeaker to the mega-ripper I really used to enjoy the...

acilianus 16.01.13 10:05pm
Lens Cap