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Documentary reveals Titanic sunk by Italian captain waving to friend on iceburg 0
quango 16.04.12 8:50pm
Seattle chemist finally receives consignment of sleeping tablets. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 16.04.12 7:38pm
Muamba leaves hospital on a free transfer. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 16.04.12 7:30pm
Para-Grand National fails to produce a winner

The equestrian equivalent of the Paralympics has once again failed to return a winner, according to an Aintree spokesperson. The race, which is open to any horses who have died or broken their legs...

Zadok the second 16.04.12 7:27pm
Trees in Rainforests to be felled in cute shapes, so it looks better from Space

The South American trade association that represents the many lumber and farming companies in the Amazon rainforest have launched a new initiative to improve their public image., SADIST (South...

virtuallywill 16.04.12 5:51pm
Midfield Diamond
Drought Minister advises: 'Dump petrol from jerrycans and fill with water' 2
pinxit 16.04.12 5:07pm
Mensa introduce Minsa in bid to attract highly intelligent homosexuals

Hat tip to [url=]Yikes[/url] for the inspiration...

Haywood Manley 16.04.12 2:41pm
Haywood Manley
Professional Footballers Union seeks more inclusive approach

Professional Footballers Union seeks more inclusive approach The professional footballers association has announced an extension to its pledges to counter claims from professional footballers that...

yens123 16.04.12 1:49pm
Police Probe Bogus Office Grand National Sweepstake

Police in Hyde Cheshire, today charged a man with fraud having uncovered a bogus Grand National Office Sweepstake., Office Punters became suspicious when Mrs Ivy Benson drew perennial favourite,...

Scronnyglonkle 16.04.12 1:13pm
Man plans to press TV red button soon

A Wolverhampton pensioner is planning to press the red button on his television 'quite soon' after several years of thinking about the operation. Percy Wood,72, said that although he's often been...

roybland 16.04.12 12:15pm
Cameron and Pasty Saga- the story continues

"I am afraid that I may have inadvertently confused the public- it was a Cornish Pixy I ate in Leeds, not a pastie." admits Cameron, "I have to say the little buggers, though tasty, are full of bones...

Tom55 16.04.12 11:29am
Failed Kandoo wipe qualifies as teacher 0
Ian Searle 16.04.12 11:20am
Ian Searle
Iceberg asks 'Titanic' creator Julian Fellowes to write it out of next series. 0
Ian Searle 16.04.12 11:18am
Ian Searle
Trees in Rainforests to be felled in cute shapes, so it looks better from Space

More later...

virtuallywill 16.04.12 10:59am
Anders Brevik tells court "Jeremy Beadle's voice made me do it" 0
Scronnyglonkle 16.04.12 10:45am
Price of olive oil crashes as Jamie Oliver switches to rapeseed oil 1
quango 16.04.12 9:14am
pere floza
TfL announces plans to let black cab drivers use pavements at peak times. 1
dominic_mcg 16.04.12 9:12am
pere floza
Blair tells Osbourne to remove cap for wealthy donors

A man who bought a £2.99 jumper from a charity shop in Keighley has been told he will still have to pay the basic rate of income tax on his regular monthly income despite foregoing the odd penny...

St.Cecilia 16.04.12 9:09am
Consolation for Spurs as they claim charity relief against cost of their defence 0
Duncan Biscuit 16.04.12 9:08am
Duncan Biscuit
Education Dept tells Truancy Tsar they don’t know where Michael Gove is 0
Duncan Biscuit 16.04.12 9:07am
Duncan Biscuit
Charity’s research into Parkinson’s expected to create hundreds of jobs 0
Duncan Biscuit 16.04.12 9:07am
Duncan Biscuit
Cameron criticized for keeping a monkey as a pet. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 16.04.12 8:50am
BBFC and FA confirm plans to give football matches an 18 certificate. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 16.04.12 8:32am
“Bahrain GP will go ahead despite human rights abuses” - F1 boss from China 0
Yikes 16.04.12 8:29am
Horoscopes for April

Aries, Next Tuesday will be forever etched in your memory for what will become known simply as "The Talcum Powder Incident". Taurus, You hold a party this month to celebrate the 3rd anniversary of...

seymour totti 16.04.12 7:06am
Pall cast over Aintree barbecue after news emerges of death of cow

The first barbecue of the year at 17 Ranham Close, Aintree was tinged with sadness this weekend as the joy of tucking into char-grilled quarter pounder burgers and steak sandwiches was muted by news...

DrTurmoil 16.04.12 6:18am
RSPCA concern for dumb animals as another footballer dies on the pitch. 0
MADJEZ 15.04.12 11:38pm
Premiership will stage season's 1 minute silences "all in one go"

The opening  matches of next season's Premiership will all start with seventeen minute silences or seventeen minutes of respectful applause, in a move to minimise disruption later in the season....

nickb 15.04.12 10:23pm
Winston's bogey commemorated 2
charlies_hat 15.04.12 10:22pm
Make-A-Wish Deny Child's "Cure Me," Request 1
Hooch 15.04.12 10:20pm