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U.S. to launch printer paper that remains same shape when folded in half 2
Des Custard 3 years

In a major announcement today, leading American business leaders and politicians revealed that a new range of paper sizes is to be introduced to the world in September. “This will bring about the...

Pakistan in Flood Talks With King Canute's Agent 0
mugwump 3 years

10,000 little Dutch boys arrive in Karachi, as part of Netherlands emergency aid programme...

Middle Age Failing Memory Not Genetic, Men Just Don't Bother Listening Now 1
mugwump 3 years
The Sun tabloid asks it reader to help stop 1.5 Billion ponud scroungers 2
arrghgarry 3 years

he points out Guido Fawkes tried it once but was hung, drawn badly and quartered...

PC World goes mad and offers new line of chutney filled computers. 9
the coarse whisperer 3 years
Blinded Bristol man seeks compensation 0
hero2zero 3 years

A Bristol man woke up this morning unable to see after watching the media-hyped meteor storm last night, “ It was spectacular,” he said, but felt he had suffered undue stress having read “The...

Germany in 'record' 2.2% growth - Fastest rate since 1939 2
Rorschach 3 years

"I mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it"...

Other Supermarket Shoppers Clamour for Ban 0
lord_wingnut 3 years

Following Sainsbury's lead in banning a customer from all its stores, Consumer advice websites have been deluged with demands for information on how to get themselves banned from other supermarkets....

Mandelson and Balls visit Libya and North Korea on 'Fact-finding' mission 2
pinxit 3 years

'We'd like to find out just how Mo and Kimmy have successfully won so many elections, so that we can take a leaf out of their books.' says Lord Mandelson. 'We have to get New New Labour back in power...

Return to 50's style dental care not proving popular 0
virtuallywill 3 years

ouch later...

Man with Bluetooth earpiece finally gets call whilst driving 2
JayGee 3 years

A man from Oxfordshire who has been the butt of jokes for several years was vindicated early this morning after receiving a call via his hands-free headset whilst driving. Dennis Tanner, a 45 year...

Pregnant Hampshire woman to outsource imminent birth to India. 2
simonjmr 3 years
New Bond movie: Peter Mandelson accepts role of Blofeld with one proviso 3
pinxit 3 years

'No pussy-stroking'...

Newsbiscuit Newbie puts eel up backside for inspiration... 0
Sharpehunter 3 years

Mr Sharpe (aka - sharpehunter) has today been admitted to Wakefield Pinderfields Hospital following an embarrassing incident involving a bucket full of eels. Doctors say he is now in a stab-eel...

Santa appeals to the UN for emergency aid 1
Sharpehunter 3 years

Increases in the rise of cocoa powder, fuel and the shortfall in global wheat production (to feed the reindeer) has left childrens favourite fat guy with no choice but to appeal to the UN for...

Ad on NewsBiscuit front page found to be interesting and relevant to someone 0
virtuallywill 3 years

Biting the hand that feeds, whatever the weather...

Fulham Boss Mark Hughes keen to sign Bellamy 0
Sharpehunter 3 years

Mark Hughes, boss of Premier League contenders Fulham has verified a keen interest in signing disgruntled Bellamy. David however has denied any links with the club and maintains a keen desire to keep...

Meteor shower 'a must see' claim excited triffids 5
Ludicity 3 years
Mrs Patak launches complimentary flame retardant trousers with inner brief.. 2
Coldstream 3 years

Mr & Mrs Patak, curry cuisine celebrities who created a multi-million pound empire by basically bottling tasty laxatives, have today launched a limited edition anniversary edition curry with a...

Kinder Eggs face up to declining sales and develop new product.. 0
Sharpehunter 3 years

In response to the new fad for austerity Kinder, famous manufacturers of the Kinder Surprise Egg has launched a new product the Kinder Disappointment, which should be much more appealing to mum's who...

Jabba the Hut fitted with gastric band. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Liam Fox upsets football fans with plans to make MOTD leaner. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
J.R. Hartley gives 'Fly Fishing' one-star review 1
ChrisHarrison 3 years

'Very disappointing. Didn't tell me anything I didn't already know.'...

Car advert drives husband to murder wife 3
hero2zero 3 years

Fed up with the constant taunts from his wife, prompted by a TV car advert Gerry Thompson, thirty-seven year old taxidermist finally snapped. It was the forth showing in ninety minutes and as the...

Barclays Premier League and the FA to unveil package of austerity measures 2
simonjmr 3 years

* Barclays Premeirship trophy to be smelted down and recast into several smaller trophy's - the left over silver to be sold for scrap. * Standard pie cost, size and fillings to be agreed and rolled...

Pig acquires pilot’s licence 2
ChrisHarrison 3 years

They said it could never happen, but one Gloucestershire pig has fulfilled a lifetime’s ambition by learning to fly. The pedigree porker, Lord Percival Snodgrass III, passed his test with flying...

UK's oldest smoker dies aged 103. Family to spend 6 weeks scattering ashes. 0
Ludicity 3 years
Head of Topshop to review government cuts. UP TO 75% OFF. 0
Ludicity 3 years

More reductions soon...

Government to “ring-fence” property perimeter security spending 0
virtuallywill 3 years

more or less later...

New beavers seen as sales of hair removal products hit by recession... 0
virtuallywill 3 years

sales smoothing out...