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Lancet: Alcohol is good/bad for you (delete as appropriate). 0
beau-jolly 4 years
Kentucky Fried Chicken wins 'raised by racists' accolade... 2
Doylem 4 years

Following the news that Cornish pasties have been awarded Protected Geographical Indication status, meaning they can only be made in Cornwall, KFC has won special status too. From today, only...

Protestors demand Gadaffi demote himself 0
Dumbnews 4 years
Poisoned Apple - 7 diminutive arbiters called in by Jobs 0
simonjmr 4 years
EU: Jam Butties must be from Knottyash 1
beau-jolly 4 years

Jam Butties have been given protected status by the European Commission., It has been a long journey from the jam butty mines of Knottyash to the corridors of Brussels, but a sticky snack familiar...

Nurses blamed for high blood pressure 12
beau-jolly 4 years

Patients suspected of having high blood pressure will get another check at home because of fears that nurses in stocking and tight, crisp, white uniforms may be leading to too many people being...

Gadaffi's no.2 defects from him suddenly and unexpectedly (putting it politely) 0
Skylarking 4 years

More soon after a change of clothing...

Col Gadaffi showing lack of ambition...No military promotion in 40 years!! 0
Oh Danny Boy 4 years

Cols Sanders and Mustard said to be preparing themselves for appraisals...

Cameron relaunches Big Society as "Big Club" 0
Sinnick 4 years
He needs bulletproof vests. Say no to MPs expenses. 0
martin2381 4 years
Nick Clegg to play with tiny steering wheel during Prime Minister’s Questions 9
Ludicity 4 years

Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg is to be given a tiny steering wheel, just like Maggie from The Simpsons, while David Cameron is answering Prime Minister’s Questions. ‘The wheel was a crucial...

clegg needs bullet proof west, not alternative vote 0
4ty2 4 years

to protect him from radical student protesters and other voters who feel betrayed...

US citizens to be rendered in response to continued Energy Insecurity 17
maurice0c 4 years

In a return to “traditional values and the American way” it has been revealed that obese citizens of the United States are to be rendered down upon death rather than decomposing slowly in...

Emminem unveiled for Queens Jubilee 0
simonjmr 4 years

Her name is - urgh, Her name is - urgh, Her name is - urgh, H R H Lizzy Windsor More soon...

Structure of T in the Park "close to collapse" after Coldplay confirmed to play. 1
MC One R 4 years

Experts were warning today that the whole structure of the "T in the Park" festival could collapse at any time after it was confirmed that Coldplay will be the headline warblers this year. "I only...

Justin Bieber waxwork on schedule to be "more realistic than original" 0
MC One R 4 years

Pop child Justin Bieber has been measured for a waxwork. Experts are confident that the details are so accurate, it will be impossible to tell the waxwork from the real thing. "In fact", said Tony...

Cameron caught off-mic muttering "This is how you sort the Middle East, Tony". 0
MC One R 4 years

"Who's your Middle East peace envoy, huh?" More soon...

Ancelotti "unconcerned" that two-bit players making £50m look a bit pricey. 0
MC One R 4 years
Newcastle start drilling in search of football success 0
MC One R 4 years

"We haven't had a lot of success on the surface", said a Newcastle United spokesperson, "So we thought maybe if we look at the bedrock of the city, we can finally locate that missing something. To...

UK comedy industry ‘enjoying a boom-boom’ 1
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
"University seats" not part of electoral reform but Electoral Pools Panel is. 0
simonjmr 4 years

David Cameron and Nick Clegg formally announced that the reintroduction of University Seast would not form part of the forthcoming referendum fo electoral reform. The practice which was last used in...

Gadaffi saved by fresh camel dung 0
Gerontius 4 years

An angry mob who had gathered in the pouring rain to hear a speech from Col Gaddafi outside his palace in Libya received a lucky escape after a man leapt from the crowd and started to sing a medley...

Channel 5 Gadget Show cameraman sacked after picture of presenter focused 1
ronseal 4 years

Desperate Lee Zany, the middle to retirement aged presenter of Channel 5's The Gadget Show, blew a fuse last night after a cameraman failed to keep up 60 minutes of shakey camera images., Cameraman...

In bid to gain more support, Big Society's Little Society is launched tonight. 4
flossie mcjava 4 years
New tourist web site - 1
John Wiltshire 4 years

A new web site for tourists to the Middle East has been launched today., Called, it will feature a character called Rio the Rioting Rhino, and will be a clear guide to all the...

Libyan Interiors Minister resigns in protest at Gaddafi’s choice of wallpaper 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Warring couples to be offered mediation as to where to spend Christmas 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Dinosaur with big thighs named Brontomerus michael mcintoshi 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Dinosaur with big thighs named Brontomerus mcintoshi, Vanessa for short 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
ITV secures Royal Variety Show contract after Babestation withdraws its interest 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years