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Royal wedding night to be released on 23
jp1885 4 years

A recording of Prince William and Kate Middleton's wedding night will be available to view on popular adult website within hours of the happy couple fully consummating their marriage...

59p app brings down government 3
NewSuburbanDad 4 years

The iPhone became the latest piece of technology to trigger regime change yesterday as a 59p app caused the collapse of the entire British establishment, and war with America.   The incident...

Ambulance thieves berated by NHS for bringing down average response times 0
brownpaperreporter 4 years

In an attempt to evade police after their robbery on a jewellers, thieves hijacked a nearby ambulance. With one driving and the others in the back, they set off with the sirens going. The gang...

Final series of 'My Family' to end in mass slaughter 0
John Wiltshire 4 years

The BBC has promised that the next series of My Family will be the last, as it will end in the mass slaughter of all the cast members., A BBC spokesman said that the programme had gone on for 11...

Charlie's Angels 0
Billy Pilgrim 4 years Charlie’s Angels[u] Charlie Sheen has volunteered to help sort out Colonel Gadaffi., As a result...

Acker Bilk on stand-by for Libyan operations after MoD admits theft of clarinet 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Invidious is the most offensive word, research claims 4
simonjmr 4 years
NATO put in charge of No Fly zone, US in charge of accidental civilian deaths 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Ofcom bans the media from using the phrase "big fat". 2
Tammy Flugh 4 years

"The big fat general public has had enou.. oops!", a spokesman said this afternoon...

Police Officer arrested for impersonating a traffic warden 0
Des and Stan 4 years

A police officer has been arrested and charged with the offence of ‘impersonating a traffic warden’ which carries a fixed penalty of 60 days’ imprisonment (reduced to 30 days if commenced...

Wiltshire police extend 2-for-1 offer to murderers 0
timyarby 4 years

More later...

Harry to get best man speech tips from Roy “Chubby” Brown 3
beau-jolly 4 years

[More f***ing later]...

Cameron and Obama issue statement on mission creep. 'Sarkozy has to go' 3
pinxit 4 years
Government indignation intended to get Britain growing vegetables 0
OldThingy 4 years

Bigger cabbages next...

British Gas to sell petrol 6
greg various 4 years

British Gas has today announced it is to expand its energy business into the petrol retail market. It will shortly be seeking suitable sites throughout the country and aims to revolutionise the...

Schoolchild found taking cocaine given lines to do in detention 3
Qoxiivi 4 years
French air force shrugs off "aggressive" claim after missile attack on toy plane 0
nilbymouse 4 years

"Are we policing this zone or not?" shrugged Col Thierry Burkhard...

Facebook profile falls foul of new ASA powers to police websites 3
Andrew 4 years

After reading the Facebook profile of Harrogate shop assistant Jane Walker, which described her as "single" and "interested in men", friend and admirer James Burns made a move on her in the kitchen...

NHS Direct Call Centres to consider moving back to UK following budget incentive 0
Neilpr 4 years

Following yesterdays corporate taxation changes NHS Direct suggest the time is right to consider a move back to UK. The department of work and pensions suggested they may reevaluate their position in...

England footballer acquitted. 0
beau-jolly 4 years

CCTV shows him trying to kick a man in a nightclub but missing by 2 yards...

Superman hit by private flying tax increase 1
4 years

More to Follow...

James Nesbitt and Lenny Henry are brothers! See today's home page... 0
John Wiltshire 4 years

The only way you can tell them apart is one has a red nose - but I'm not sure who...

Psychic predicts man holding a red case on cover of tomorrow’s paper. 2
MADJEZ 4 years
Sexual preference chemical revealed - the smell of money. 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 4 years
Local Government Officers strike: efficiency of services increases dramatically. 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 4 years
Bernie Madoff new telebiography to be called Happy Days starring Ponzi 0
simonjmr 4 years
University lecturers strike: no-one notices 2
John Wiltshire 4 years

University lecturers went on strike today over their pay and pensions. However, as no students ever turn up to their lectures, no-one noticed., A spokesman for the lecturers, Dr Brian Beard,...

Hackney documentary provides ethnic balance to Midsummer Murders - BBC claim 0
Poecheng 4 years

More (dead) soon...

Line manager slams Ghandi as 'too passive-aggressive'. 0
the coarse whisperer 4 years
Little Bo Peep loses sheep, insurance fraud suspected 4
Oxbridge 4 years