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Little ships converge on Isle of Wight to rescue stranded residents... 0
Doylem 4 years

An armada of small boats is on the way to the Isle of Wight, after Portsmouth Coastguards intercepted a message in a dandelion & burdock bottle that had been washed up on the shore. The message...

Harvey's launch Bristol Ice Cream 2
beau-jolly 4 years
Cameron sends ship to rescue Brits in middle of Libyan desert 2
John Wiltshire 4 years

Prime Minister David Cameron today announed a daring new initiative to rescue Brits stuck in the middle of the Libyan desert., 'We're sending a huge ship,' he announced proudly. 'We'll soon have...

UK economy. Contraction caused by New Labour? 0
beau-jolly 4 years

An economist explains: “It had certainly been well f***ed.”...

Wall's launch new 'Raspberry Nipple' 0
rickwestwell 4 years
Ice cream seller sorry for typo - 'It's actually beast milk ice cream' 2
John Wiltshire 4 years

The Covent Garden ice cream seller who advertises breast milk ice cream at fourteen quid a shot has apologised for a typo in the advertising., 'I'm very sorry,' he said, 'but it's actually beast...

Despots defend record round of bonuses in 2010 2
Skylarking 4 years

Members of the ‘Confederation of Dictators, Tyrants Autocrats and Unelected Heads of State’ have been vigorously defending the latest round of bonuses that they have awarded themselves over the...

Tit shape ice cream cornets go on sale 0
Tammy Flugh 4 years
“Just be yourself” replaced by “be somebody else” in honest guide to dating... 0
Doylem 4 years
Scrap Thieves Steal Salford 10
Lucy4 4 years

The northern city of Manchester, still reeling from the loss of its public toilets, libraries and swimming pools after swingeing finance cuts, has today been left devastated by the theft of its twin...

Cat learns "thumbs up" after hitch hiking home when lost. 0
Ian Searle 4 years
Jesus was uncomfortable on the cross, reveals new celebrity body language expert 0
ronseal 4 years

A celebrity body language guru, who cast his expert eye on pictures of the crucifixion, has revealed that Jesus probably didn't enjoy the day much., Writing in Heat magazine, Polly Gordon says Jesus...

Peter749400 4 years 9.5 out of 10 feminist poster-girl Andrea Higgins claimed last night that "sexism has now been entirely eliminated from public life". ...

Blair arranges for Gadaffi to flee to Scotland 1
LostLad 4 years

Mandelson to work out deal...

Ancient mid market tabloid discovered with guest column from Pontius Pilate 1
ronseal 4 years

A previously undiscovered mid market tabloid has wowed archaeologists, with its ancient examples of petty snobby, NIMBY-ism and a rather unpleasant attack on the so-called Messiah by guest columnist...

Plebs not buying Stuff shock! 0
virtuallywill 4 years

The Government said today that the UK economy had contracted in the last 3 Months of 2010. We really didn’t expect massive public and private redundancies and a hefty increase in food and fuel...

Economy not all doom and gloom - at least Lloyds are doing Ok 0
Sinnick 4 years
Scottish Widows investigation launched 1
Zadok the second 4 years

Lothian and Borders Police have launched an investigation into a secretive society known only as ‘Scottish Widows’. Notoriously publicity-shy, apart from their ubiquitous television...

New Breast Milk Ice Cream to come in portions small, medium and Wa-Hay! 0
charlies_hat 4 years
British embassy staff hand out 'Ruby Slippers' 1
LostLad 4 years

with instructions to "close eyes and say: there's no place like home"...

New Zealand puts out urgent call for more homeopaths 0
Oxbridge 4 years
Carry On Olympics to be held in 2012 5
John Wiltshire 4 years

In addition to the Olympics and Paralympics, organisers have decided to add the Carry On Olympics to the 2012 programme., Competitors should have titillating names, events should have equally ribald...

Cameron urges Libyans to form a Big Society to rescue trapped Brits 0
John Wiltshire 4 years

'Why should the government do everything?' he demanded. 'That's not what people want. I'm sure the Brits trapped in Libya are saying "We don't need the government's interference!", 'So we want to...

Lord Mandelson and Michael Howard to lead opposition to daylight-saving change 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Experts say Alan Turing’s flash drive saved for the nation ‘may be a forgery’ 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Consumers complain ice cream made from breast milk hardens when licked 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Cameron apologies for total failure to organise p*ss up in berwery 0
John Wiltshire 4 years

David Cameron today apologised abjectly for his complete failure to organise a drinks party in a brewery, and promised to learn lessons from it., 'In future,' he said, looking very serious, 'when...

Vanessa Phelps denys she was the inspiration for the slumdog Millionaire 0
4 years

theme song...

Civil war in Libya actually row over different spellings of leader's name 0
acwanaut 4 years
Bin Laden Says Aung San Suu Kyi to Blame 0
acwanaut 4 years

Following accusations by Libyan leader Col Muammar Gaddafi that 'he started it', Osama Bin Laden has begun an international blamestorm by stating that was indeed the fault of Burmese opposition...