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Bridlington’s chip-stealing seagulls to return to Scotland on Saturday 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Suspended Johann Hari says ‘Forgive them for they know not what they do’ 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Tabloid journalists welcome news cheque books are not to be scrapped 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Hacking reveals Thatcher wanted Miliband “to pull pants down on BBC” 0
Fred Bayr 4 years

Ed Miliband’s chief adviser was today forced out of the closet which contained his blue ties, blue socks and a David Willets blow up doll. Since taking over as leader in September, Miliband has...

Wind farmer ‘livid’ at botched blow job 3
Dick Everyman 4 years

Lakeland wind farmer Giles Hardacre, has written to the Office of Fair Trading (OFT) after an engineer failed to complete a simple blow job at his 100 acre wind farm. “My main turbine appeared to...

Gok Wan disappears up his own arse in catwalk mishap 9
Dick Everyman 4 years

Legendary fashionista, Gok Wan is recovering in hospital today following a freak accident at the Blue Water shopping centre, in Kent. The host had just announced his line-up of 're-cycled...

Black leggings to blame for male impotency - BMA reports 11
Dick Everyman 4 years

Male impotency levels in the UK have a direct correlation to the upsurge in women wearing black leggings, a study by the British Medical Association has revealed. The study, which was conducted over...

Q:What's your name? A:"Harper Seven" - Strewth is that the time already? 2
Dick Everyman 4 years
Sun urges Times readers to switch to Telegraph in hacking protest. 0
Ostsee 4 years
Ed Miliband fires his Speech writer and political adviser,David said it was fun 0
doggone 4 years

while it lasted...

Ed Miliband tells the Dowler family that the Hacks were wrong while 3
doggone 4 years

negotiations were still going on.He believes that the NOTW had acted in a reckless and provocative manner and they should get round a negotiating table as parents up and down the country had been...

Researcher amazed to discover in archives that an actor was not only 0
doggone 4 years

used for Churchill's radio speeches,one was also used at the Yalta conference as Churchill took his grandchildren to school.When Nick Clegg was told of this, he replied that he was encouraged and it...

MET finds evidence that Nick Clegg’s Sesame Street phone was also hacked 6
Qoxiivi 4 years

Police have uncovered evidence that messages left on Nick Clegg’s private Sesame Street phone were routinely hacked for a short period in 2010. The messages, left by Big Bird and Grover, were...

Carnaval announces new budget cruises that never leave port 2
Dumbnews 4 years
Fury as 50% of tickets for Olympic Beatles gig 'reserved for surviving members' 0
4 years

Ticket allocations for the 2012 London Olympics faced more controversy today. As news that The Beatles will reform for the opening ceremony filtered through, it was disclosed that half of the tickets...

Beckham Confirms Typo in Harper Svens' Name 0
mugwump 4 years

More Swedish meatballs soon...

"Busty Mayoress Pamela Snips Wet Nurses' Ribbon" reports Bognor Argus's new 8
Ironduke 4 years

community reporter. A crowd of bikini-clad nurses cheered as Mayoress Pamela Outhwaite, 46, strode up on a makeshift platform and performed a public opening act with her official, rate-payer funded...

Dog sues over forced sterilisation 1
Christopher Frost 4 years
Labour is at the Center Parcs of UK politics, says Miliband 0
Christopher Frost 4 years
Legendary Nazi hunter denies big game all gone as he nabs council jobsworth 10
ronseal 4 years

Legendary Nazi hunter Simon Wiesenthal yesterday denied that all the big name Nazis from WW2 have now been caught, when he unveiled the capture of Simon Perkins (AKA Das Safety Nazi) who was found to...

Haddaway finds out "What is Love" after buying an iPad 0
Dumbnews 4 years
Cameron : SAS ready to take out Murdoch and Rebekah Brooks 0
simonjmr 4 years

Following the success that Barack Obama experienced after the Navy SEAL assassinated Osama bin Laden, David Cameron has placed a crack SAS team on high alert should they be required to take out...

Osborne announces another Dissolution of the Monasteries to ease debt crisis 0
Ironduke 4 years
Osborne announces 'qualitative easing' of wedding anniversary gifts 13
4 years

The British Government has downgraded the official list of wedding anniversary gifts, as part of a package of incentives for married couples. As part of the 'qualitative easing', paper, cotton and...

Woman paints door green. 10
EinsteinsGhost 4 years One of my first efforts transported from a blog I no longer use because I have no idea whatsoever how to use it properly. I live on...

Hypocrites Society opens two Facebook accounts 1
FraserWords 4 years
Britons go for gold in Olympic dogging 6
FraserWords 4 years

Pundits say Terry and Liz Picnic could be the first Britons to grab gold at London 2012 after a shock development in the debut Olympic sport of dogging., The Picnics are now hot favourites for glory...

New media shock: Daily Mail 'conspired against Labour government' 0
FraserWords 4 years

Britain’s media scandal spread to the Daily Mail today as it faced shocking allegations that it had conspired against previous governments and covertly campaigned for far-right extremist policies.,...

Potatoes found to share over 98% of their genes with Wayne Rooney 7
OllieP 4 years
'Harper Seven? That's a stupid bloody name for a baby' says Moon Unit Zappa 2
Dickens or Shakespeare 4 years