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Fossil reveals earliest toothache. More soon. 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 4 years

Three-way IVF to be given "18R" classification. More soon. 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 4 years
Charles Launches "Charlie's Chippy's" Chain. 4
BewsNiscuit 4 years

Buckingham Palace has announced that Prince Charles is to extend his Royal Duchy brand of up-market merchandise to encompass a countrywide chain of fish and chip shops following the success of a...

Political Correctness finally sectioned under Mental Health Act 0
brownpaperreporter 4 years
Copyright battle: Apple sues Paris Hilton for being thin and pointless 0
4 years
Cabinet lunch crisis as sandwich order is decided by AV. More soon. 19
dominic_mcg 4 years
Gillet sales plummet as Kate gets coat of arms. 1
beau-jolly 4 years

I'll get me sleaveless coat...

WBA to review rules after hedgehog defeats squirrel in 312th round knockout. 1
SingingHinny 4 years
Police raid discovers 1000s of chilled prawn images on fishmonger's laptop. 18
MC One R 4 years
Adders not multiplying 2
beau-jolly 4 years

Scientists in Somerset have been taking DNA samples from adders to try to establish the reason for the declining population. Changes to their natural habitat and man–made barriers to movement are...

Pig to be part of Dick King-Smith's funeral cortege. 4
Tammy Flugh 4 years
Tesco Profits Up on Far East Growth - Following Hormone Trials Controversy 0
BewsNiscuit 4 years
BBC chiefs order 'Watchdog' not to be so damn patronising 0
John Wiltshire 4 years

BBC chiefs have ordered staff on the Watchdog programme not to be so patronising towards viewers, and to start acting as if they cared about ordinary people who aren't on BBC salaries and so can't...

Elton John is still not told if he is needed to play the piano this time 0
Basil_B 4 years

Elton John was still awaiting the Royal Command for his singing and piano playing talents today after he has been persistently enquiring as to whether his services would be required for the upcoming...

Jury in post office murder delivers verdict late and leaves it with neighbour. 0
dominic_mcg 4 years
Nurses uniform is gateway drag to stronger addiction, charity fun runners warned 1
ronseal 4 years

Fun runners at the London Marathon who dress up as nurses risk getting hooked on a gateway drag that could leads to a serious habit, one Nun has warned...

Postman boost brings down entire block of apartments 0
MagnusOpum 4 years

A rogue postman was this morning being sought by the Royal Mail following a disturbing series of incidents at an apartment block in the heart of Essex. Reports began to filter in after 8.15am of...

Kate Middleton coat of arms unveiled 0
Tammy Flugh 4 years

It features an air-plane door and the motto "Ianua ut manus"...

Rio Ferdinand shakes off stalker by not playing football 1
John Wiltshire 4 years

Recently, Rio Ferdinand has complained of being stalked every time he plays a football match., 'I, like, y'know, go on the pitch, like, and then there's these blokes what follows me round. It's...

Beckett fans flock to Olympic 100m sprinter's website, WAITING_FOR_GOdotcom 0
pinxit 4 years
Police force to be replaced by ‘crime census’ 3
Vertically Challenged Giant 4 years

The Home Office have announced plans today for a radical shake up of policing in the UK. The changes, set to come into effect from early 2012, will see a move away from the traditional approach to...

Suspected Canabis Blocks Found in Vatican Toilets. Resignations Highly Likely. 4
BewsNiscuit 4 years

We say: Is soap dope? Can pope hope to cope? Mope? Nope! Elope!...

Maundy money to be replaced by scratch cards 0
Pinhead 4 years

in an attempt to show a degree of austerity and to make the future Queen more at home...

Gordon Brown's offer to head up EMF is "Unbelievable!" 2
simonjmr 4 years
Wedding Special: "That" Uniform. 4
BewsNiscuit 4 years

Top royal watchers are on tenterhooks, the gossip columnists squirming deeper into their ever-moistening seats. The question on everyone's lips is "Are the rumours correct?" Will Prince William...

Gordon Brown rejected in favour of Nick Leeson as new head of EMF 4
Basil_B 4 years
Gordon Brown to head IMF. Other candidates Norman Lamont and Bernie Madoff. 0
MADJEZ 4 years
Man's attempt at conversation with US customs official flops 22
MC One R 4 years

Brian Evans, a taxi driver from Nantwich attempted a little easy banter at US Passport Control yesterday. Mr Evans, 38, was arriving at JFK in New York to visit his sister for a few days and was...

Surge in potential donors after IVF threesome technique concern publicity 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Cameron plays down chances of Gordon Brown getting a job at Aldi 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years