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Anders Breivik barred from court due to smirking ban

more slappable racist tosh soon...

Skylarking 18.04.12 1:31pm
Mussel comes out as bivalve

.. more shellfish humour soon...

cinquecento 18.04.12 1:18pm
Man finds his dream date at a surreal fruit stall 0
Smart Alex 18.04.12 1:10pm
Smart Alex
Internet forums in crisis after IMHO revealed to mean ‘In My Hairy Orifice’ 0
jp1885 18.04.12 12:52pm
‘Keep Calm and Regularly Check Your Prostate’ a slogan too far say consumers

Charity group Cancer Research UK has come under fire from angry consumers after its latest awareness campaign: ‘Keep Calm and Regularly Check Your Prostate’, was blasted as taking the popular...

jp1885 18.04.12 12:43pm
North Koreans claim rocket launch was "Titanic Tribute"

The North Koreans have claimed that their rocket crashing and sinking into the sea was, in fact, a carefully planned tribute to the Titanic which sank 100 years ago. "It seems very insensitive to...

apepper 18.04.12 12:42pm
Study finds that teenagers are lazy bastards. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 18.04.12 12:34pm
Londoners complain about their looted TVs as analogue signal is switched off. 0
dominic_mcg 18.04.12 12:31pm
Punter stands to win millions on deadly bet

A Woking man will be following Sunday's London Marathon with more than a little interest as he stands to win over two million pounds from the bookies if a certain runner suffers a fatality. After...

pinxit 18.04.12 12:28pm
Unemployment falls by number put inside for rioting 0
rustytruss 18.04.12 12:11pm
64% of English people think 'auld lang syne' is a Burmese dissident. 0
bonjonelson 18.04.12 12:00pm
Amazon launches Rekindle for lapsed readers 0
Scronnyglonkle 18.04.12 12:00pm
Snooker world championship in doubt as Blackball demands more money

The premier event of snooker was today thrown into disarray as reports surfaced today that the 'Blackball' has refused to take part in this years event unless her wage demands are met. Blackball is...

yens123 18.04.12 11:34am
Your cut out and keep guide to Fracking

With Fracking all over the news, the government has sought to put the public’s fear at ease in a manner similar to the tanker drivers dispute, by changing some of terms, names and reported side...

Scronnyglonkle 18.04.12 11:32am
iPhone brings an end to UK unemployment

UK unemployment was slashed to an all-time low of zero last night, after the Government controversially rebranded poncing around with an iPhone as a full-time career., iPhone-using twonks will now...

clicktingstampz 18.04.12 11:12am
New "Google Glasses" help alcoholics stay on-line

The new glasses, with a 2-inch square screen at the bottom, readable through up to four inches of beer or a standard double Scotch, and with standard mouse controls around the rim, permit drunks to...

Tom55 18.04.12 10:43am
Schoolboys reveal Rangers takeover hoax

THE proposed takeover of Rangers Football Club was plunged into doubt last night after one of the leading bidders was revealed to be two small boys standing on top of each other inside a linen...

clicktingstampz 18.04.12 10:34am
Theresa May announces” Abu Abu Qatada I want to reach out and grab ya” 2
godly1966 18.04.12 10:04am
A few ideas to run past you writers out there....

Ive taken all these headlines from Breivik quizzed on extremist ties - im thinking disney characters on ties, powers ties, bow ties, kipper ties, skinny ties. ties, ties and more ties...

yens123 18.04.12 9:58am
Secret colonial papers reveal 'fuzzy wuzzies don't like it up em'. 0
MADJEZ 18.04.12 9:56am
Jack Straw sued by son for rendition over 1997 drug arrest. 0
MADJEZ 18.04.12 9:51am
IMF raises target for global growth by this much

IMF raises target for global growth by this much <------------------> The IMF has said that economic growth will grow by over an inch on most PowerPoint Presentations globally this year....

yens123 18.04.12 9:47am
Aung San Suu Kyi's first trip abroad in 24 years to be hen weekend in Benidorm. 0
MADJEZ 18.04.12 9:37am
36 football fans drown in mexican wave tragedy 1
bonjonelson 18.04.12 9:19am
Laxative factory expansion could create Thousands of more Jobs, 4
Zen 18.04.12 9:16am
17 yo/s addicted to new hazard perception test computer game

Following recent updates to the DVLA hazard perception theory test, young learners have found the practise CD-ROM so engrossing that many have become addicted to the format. Game developers, EA...

kga6 18.04.12 9:11am
Spain ‘Telling on Argentina’

Spain has warned Argentina that he will ‘tell on him’ after the rogue South-American shambles seized Spain’s favourite oil exploration subsidiary whilst Spain wasn’t looking, presumably in...

Old Hat 18.04.12 9:09am
Old Hat
London 2012 "Expect Less" Campaign A Surprise Success

The London Olympic marketing committee's unusual decision to go with "It's not going to change your life or anything" and a depiction of frowning man in a flat cap looking balefully at an ugly and...

Textbook 18.04.12 9:09am
Empire switches mobile contract to O2 amid Jedi bias allegations

Darth Vader the Dark Lord of the Sith today confirmed that the Imperial Empire have decided to switch their mobile operator from Vodafone to O2 after the company showed allegiance to the Jedi with a...

Rizzo 18.04.12 9:01am
Old Hat
Teressa May tells commons of her intentions to deport Jack Straw to Jordan 0
Scronnyglonkle 18.04.12 8:46am