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'Resealable' tab inventor to be prosecuted under Trade Descriptions Act 17
dicky37 3 years

[Don't even get me started..]...

kanye West comes to the sad conclusion that liposuction does not make you 0
arrghgarry 3 years
Radio 4 Reporter Sacked for Interviewing Inarticulate Person of Northern Origin 2
mugwump 3 years
Man goes there and does it again after growing too large for original t-shirt 2
jp1885 3 years
Coroner slams photographs of suicide girl: "they're not as good as lolcats". 0
the coarse whisperer 3 years
Hospital waiting list time raised to a 'realistic' 20 years 0
PluckyMunky 3 years

David Cameron announced today that he could guarantee that many people could expect to have a hospital appointment within 20 years of referral. He appreciated that treatment might take a little...

Grouse hopeful of surprise result in annual Glorious 12th clash 6
ramblesnake 3 years

‘The Grouse Beaters have won every year so far.’ Said Pete Peckham the Grouse team captain, who plays on the wing. ‘In fact we normally get slaughtered, but me and the lads are game for a good...

Police call Ghostbusters after fears of poltergeist violence against prisoners 0
la maga 3 years

After a spate of violent attacks on suspects or prisoners while in the vicinity of police officers and police cells, none of which can be attributed to any officer - according to the police involved,...

Iran denies Lockerbie Bomber death rumours 0
hero2zero 3 years

The Iranian Government yesterday denied suggestions that Abdelbaset Ali al-Negrahi had died almost two months ago, a look-alike having taken his place with the sole intention of annoying the...

International Statesmen sue Blair to prevent him sullying title with his name 0
la maga 3 years
University of Brighton seek Professor of Jordan Studies 0
PluckyMunky 3 years

Apart from the usual requirements associated with this type of post, the applicant is expected to have a sound research and experiential knowledge of Jordan, the one-time celebrity. Intimate...

Today's busted myth: a quirky hobby is no substitute for a personality 0
la maga 3 years
Cairo City Council petty regulations force the demolition of the Pyramids 0
Basil_B 3 years

Due to no records found for any planning permission made by the Ancient Egyptians the City Council of Cairo have been forced to order the destruction of their countries most famous buildings.,...

Crime at all-time high in Liberty City says L.C. State 0
ThisIsNotADrill 3 years

LIBERTY CITY, U.S.A. - Records show that crime is at an all-time high in the City of Liberty, home to the Statue of Happiness, and the BAWSAQ exchange. According to local opinion, the state has...

US Troops to ditch hearts and minds policy and start using Guerilla War tactics 0
Sharpehunter 3 years

US Munitions manufacturers are to begin producing IEDs (improvised explosive devices) in ernest having monitored the success of the Al'Queada campaign in Afghanistan. General MacDriscoll has...

Junior doctors shove handfuls of sunflower seeds up patient's bum 3
ramblesnake 3 years

while telling him he's got a pea growing in his lung...

Equality Commission rules men must be allowed new hairdo mega strop 3
StoopyDeGunt 3 years

In future, if a man's hairdo doesn't come out right, has been ignored or damned with faint praise, the victim has full rights to a mega strop, including day long ominous silences and a period of door...

Shock new photos of PM Cameron found NOT looking solemn and pensive 1
Boarfunkel 3 years

Maybe someone with some talent (i.e. not me) could write this up? Something along the lines of past lawsuits of papers printing university photos of Blair etc...

A&E Dept nicknamed Anal Eel Department after treating asian man.. 1
Sharpehunter 3 years

Doctors and Nurses at an A&E Dept thought heard and seen it all until Li Chang walked through their doors. Li Chang claimed he slipped into a tub full of eels and one slipped straight up his bum....

Chinese couple in Hong Kong react to finding s of Adoption court 2
arrghgarry 3 years

although they had raised a young white boy from 2 years old after his English army parents had been killed ,.The court ruled he should be with people of his own kind .With the opportunity to do badly...

Sir Ian Blair tempted out of retirement for one last cock up 6
StoopyDeGunt 3 years

Sir Ian Blair, the poster boy for the National Theatre set, is to return to the public stage for one more incident packed communications breakdown, by popular demand., Blair, who went to Oxford...

Capello finishes off Becks, Sol, Brown, Fosters, and San Miguel. 2
simonjmr 3 years

More beers soon...

After cost cutting new revised Ministry of Justice unveiled. 0
Sharpehunter 3 years

Following decisive cutbacks the revised Ministry of Justice has today been unveiled. From now on it will been known as Just Mister to save on printing and signage costs and will be led, managed,...

Office radar systems a myth claim scientists 1
JayGee 3 years

A leading group of scientists has claimed today that office radar systems do not exist and cannot be used as a means of determining how up to date colleagues are on future initiatives. The piece of...

Hysteria as people try to find out where PM bought 20 cans of stella for a fiver 0
Boarfunkel 3 years
Paranoia sufferers complain .. 0
Gourd Almighty 3 years

.. that cutbacks in Government funding always affect them the worst .. More soon ....

Madeleine McCanns's parents given arguido status over Portuguese forest fires 0
JayGee 3 years
Pink Floyd arrested after remains of teacher found bricked up in wall 4
jp1885 3 years
Thousands of middle aged men have England dreams crushed by Capello 6
JayGee 3 years

Middle aged men all over the UK have been phoning help lines this morning after hearing the news that David Beckham’s international football career is over. For many the decision by Fabio Capello...

Prince Charles poisoned at Breakfast.. 1
Sharpehunter 3 years

"Who thought it would be a good idea on the basis of diversity and equal opportunity to hire a bloody Muslim Food Taster for f*cksake.." bellowed Percy Harrington-Coonts, Charles Personal Valet,...