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Relief as Kim Jong Un postpones war till Downton Abbey series ends 0
sydalg 05.04.13 1:17pm
Funeral directors offer two-for-one deal in dead giveaway. 0
sredni vashta 05.04.13 12:55pm
sredni vashta
“Rogue” Bieber Announces “Second Coming”

After seemingly having come to believe his own marketing, Canadian teen pop-let Justin Bieber announced on Twitter yesterday that he is in fact the incarnated son of the Lord Almighty. @justinbieber...

Ablative Fabsolute 05.04.13 12:18pm
Ablative Fabsolute
‘Lager Tourettes’ formally recognised by British Medical Council

The temporary affliction suffered by lager drinkers across the country which causes their language to deteriorate rapidly during a pub session has been officially designated as a medical condition. ...

Midfield Diamond 05.04.13 11:34am
Midfield Diamond
HOROSCOPE 5th April 2013

HOROSCOPE 5th April 2013, By Colin the Cosmic Cockerel. ARIES. It will be cold.. TAURUS. It will be cold. GEMINI. It will be cold. CANCER. It will be cold. LEO. It will be cold. VIRGO. It will...

godly1966 05.04.13 10:58am
Cameron declares welfare recipients to be new ‘axis of evil’

An influential Daily Mail article by AN Wilson declaring child murderer Mick Philpott to be “pure evil born out of welfare dependency” has encouraged the government to bring forward drastic new...

DustyBinLaden 05.04.13 10:50am
Not Amused
'I had sex with a chicken'

said a cockerel, yesterday. Fair enough...

Thewoodenleg 05.04.13 10:50am
Take Heart

Heart surgery to restart at Leeds General after surgeons manage to complete "Operation" game without triggering the buzzer...

irreverendJ 05.04.13 10:36am
Tevez to take up Barton's number ten HI-Vis shirt

Could play as sweeper?...

Nosey 05.04.13 10:34am
Boris Johnson calls for eradication of urban Wombles. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 05.04.13 10:24am
Thousands of outdoor smokers perish during UK 'Big Freeze'

Figures released today reveal that 15,436 UK smokers froze to death during the month of March - many perishing in broad daylight outside High Street coffee shops whilst sat down quietly minding their...

05.04.13 9:25am
Jeremy Hunt
Daily Mail finds immigration angle increases life expectancy of dull news story 0
sydalg 05.04.13 9:04am
Tourette's charity turns down Gordon Ramsay's offer to teach new swear words 0
sydalg 05.04.13 8:49am
Labour Politician Admits Infinite Child Benefit Entitlement Has Drawbacks

Well that would be news, wouldn't it?...

Thewoodenleg 05.04.13 8:26am
George Osborne 'baffled' by Shipman murders

Chancellor George Osborne yesterday confessed he was at a loss to understand how serial killer Dr Harold Shipman could have murdered 250 people without, like Mick Philpott, being on benefits. 'Dr...

roybland 05.04.13 7:57am
New Gary Glitter tour is financially viable with increase in support acts 0
Dick Everyman 05.04.13 7:35am
Dick Everyman
Coldplay eye Levi Roots' market with launch of Insipid Shite Insipid Shite sauce 2
Idiot 05.04.13 7:27am
Dick Everyman
EU recommends bees switch to Google maps from Apple maps

Swarm soon...

Not Amused 05.04.13 7:16am
Not Amused
Torn peniel skin epidemic after Michelle Keegan’s instagram boob. 0
Hooch 05.04.13 12:50am
Ruth Jones and Robert Lindsay in BAFTA nominated performance for SkyTV ad 0
ronseal 05.04.13 12:17am
Facebook friends hail “Victory for common sense” as North Korea backs down.

“I have to say that we were surprised at how effective the campaign was.” said Jody Morgan, a “part-time classroom assistant and full-time mother” as her Facebook profile quips, “but it...

BillyBitzer 04.04.13 11:09pm
Prison gangs lament that it'll be a struggle to knock Mick Philpott's teeth out

Concerns have been raised by hard-core prison vigilantes about exactly how they'll manage to successfully knock convicted child-killer Mick Philpott's teeth out. "When we get nonces on the wing,"...

Paddy Berzinski 04.04.13 11:02pm
Paddy Berzinski
Roger Ebert dead at 70. 'He was my hero', laments Jimmy Krankie 0
topfotogmw 04.04.13 9:38pm
Hair Today, Heart Tomorrow

Japanese scientists have found a link between male baldness and heart disease. Extensive clinical studies have found a proven link between a thinning crown and the likelihood of an early death...

Thewoodenleg 04.04.13 8:11pm
Traces of horse meat found at Aintree. 0
Maverick 04.04.13 8:11pm
Ageing pop stars still pretending to take Yoko seriously. 0
Maverick 04.04.13 8:05pm
Cambridge University Netball Team ban the use of acronyms 4
blacklesbianandproudofit 04.04.13 7:59pm
"Come On Eileen" Headlines Dublin Erotic Film Festival. 14
rikkor 04.04.13 7:33pm
Dogging, yes. But what's 'catting'?

Having sex in the garden at 1 am, howling like a banshee, then scratching the bejesus out of each other. Big in Scandinavia apparently...

Thewoodenleg 04.04.13 7:25pm
New Facebook Home app deletes all your other apps, folders and widgets...

Mark Zuckerberg: "The internet is a better place if all you see is photos of friends' babies and ads provided my my company" Developing...

GordonChen 04.04.13 7:16pm