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Uncommonly cheerful barber ponders further uses for scissors and razor. 4
sredni vashta 01.06.13 7:14pm
sredni vashta
Gastroenteritis outbreak leads to sudden step change in most UK hospitals 5
Dick Everyman 01.06.13 6:57pm
Global warming will cause steppe change, warn Russian climatologists 4
Arthur 01.06.13 6:49pm
Lindy Moone
Flat feet major cause of instep change, warn chiropodists 0
Arthur 01.06.13 6:45pm
Man's dying wish is that he wished he'd looked both ways before crossing 6
Smart Alex 01.06.13 5:02pm
Dick Everyman
Sodor abandoned as self-aware steam trains finally take over

The Fat Controller was airlifted to safety yesterday after a pack of feral tank engines overran his house, forcing him to admit plans for a steam-driven island had gone terribly wrong. 'All I...

SuburbanDad 01.06.13 4:13pm
Congress in favour of Asteroid impact

Despite the relief of most of Earth's inhabitants that the space rock 1998 QE2 will miss by 6 million kilometres; the United States feels thwarted. On Friday morning Congress passed by a bipartisan...

Wrenfoe 01.06.13 3:57pm
Lindy Moone
Sorry I'm late; stepped in shit and had to change shoes...

and that's never, ever happened to me before. (Neat-O!)...

Lindy Moone 01.06.13 3:56pm
B&Q offer step change for customers who bought faulty ladders 2
Arthur 01.06.13 3:53pm
PowerPoint presenters make paradigm step, change in audience attitude inevitable 0
Arthur 01.06.13 2:51pm
Ahmadinejad agrees to rename country "i-Ran" as US removes IT export sanctions

US state department officials have announced a major breakthrough in economic and political relations with the state formerly known as Iran. Under the new deal involving US computing giant Apple,...

Bertrand Twisted 01.06.13 12:13pm
sredni vashta
"union of two people will not lead to polygamy" maths teachers insist 0
sillybugger 01.06.13 11:53am
Term 'crack whore' is offensive to crack whores, says crack whore 1
cinquecento 01.06.13 11:26am
Lindy Moone
Move on, there's nothing to see here. My screen froze and I saved it 3 times 1
ronseal 01.06.13 10:52am
Dick Everyman
Flasher changes mind over retirement and sticks it out for another year 1
custard cream 01.06.13 10:50am
Dick Everyman
Harassed Afghan farmer 'victim of tall poppy syndrome' 0
cinquecento 01.06.13 10:04am
Anti-gay marriage rants inadvertently fuelling pervy fantasies

Recent comments by ageing right-wingers against the legalisation of gay marriage are unintentionally giving unimaginative straight men the ammunnition for new strains of kinky fantasy, it has emerged...

Oxbridge 01.06.13 9:25am
God smites man for "not showing 'nuff respec', innit" 0
Al OPecia 01.06.13 8:16am
Al OPecia
EU directs that Batman must be called Chiropteraman. 0
Maverick 01.06.13 1:33am
Bolshoi Make Choerographic Step Change To Line Dancing To Become "Less Elitist" 0
Titus 31.05.13 10:48pm
Shock as trips to Mars might be dangerous

Space scientists around the world are reeling to the astonishing news that a journey to Mars might be risky. One scientist said, "I was planning to take the kids this summer, but now I've cancelled...

apepper 31.05.13 10:42pm
Andy Coulson briefs Cabinet on Top Cop, Barmy Boffins, Randy Vicar and Scorchers

A new dossier written by the government's former spin doctor has graphically depicted, in no uncertain terms, the challenges that lie ahead of the Prime Minister and his cabinet. The report -...

ronseal 31.05.13 10:38pm
Brazilian's cut it a bit fine, say fifa. 0
Squudge 31.05.13 10:32pm
Guardsmen out of step change their drill sergeant 0
Arthur 31.05.13 10:22pm
Sochi winter games mocked for derisory levels of corruption

Claims that a mere $30bn has been stolen so far in connection with preparations for the Sochi Olympic Winter Games have been met with barely concealed derision by representatives from the world‘s...

Bertrand Twisted 31.05.13 9:45pm
Lonely old woman adopted by thirty-six cats.

Reports are emerging of a remarkable story of cross-species altruism involving the adoption of a lonely old woman by a group of thirty-six cats. Homeless, penniless Abigail Pike, 74, was facing a...

sredni vashta 31.05.13 9:08pm
36 old women adopted by lonely cat.

Nod to sredni vashta...

raudus 31.05.13 7:40pm
"Jolly good show, Chaps" Says President As French Universities Teach In English

Titus 31.05.13 7:39pm
Disappointment after tech start-up fails to die 0
Dumbnews 31.05.13 7:05pm
Indian entrepreneur launches, "One smartphone for every American" intiative 0
Dumbnews 31.05.13 7:04pm