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Study finds wearing Santa hats really is ‘fun’

An expensive study into the effects of seasonal hattage has revealed that people who wear Santa caps are 58% more likely to be ‘fun-loving’, ‘whacky’ or ‘a bit mad’. Despite the red and...

17.12.12 11:58am
DISAPPOINTING NEWS - Man begrudgingly uses a Mug for coca-cola

After searching high and low for a clean cup in his kitchen, Scotsman Cameron Shaw resigns himself to using a mug to put his coca cola in. "It's just not the same" he reported later., "A mug is...

Mr Brightside 17.12.12 11:34am
Dick Everyman
Fabrice Muamba over the moon at winning Cardiac Arrest Personality of the Year

Muamba was disappointed not to pick up an award at this years BBC Sports Personality of the Year. More soon...

simonjmr 17.12.12 11:09am
USA to make not owning a gun illegal. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 17.12.12 9:43am
Al OPecia
Greeks stamp on 'Mickey Mouse' economy

Dick Everyman 17.12.12 9:21am
Dick Everyman
Morgan Freeman to analyse tragedies full time say Facebook Chiefs

After the runaway success of his take on the Newtown massacre, Morgan Freeman has signed a two-year deal to provide simple, soothing explanations for all of life's troubles announced Facebook...

The Bogs 17.12.12 8:52am
BREAKING NEWS - Man Cant Decide to order Appletiser or Not

For the last 10 minutes local man Robert Gray couldn't decide of he should order Appletiser or not at his uncles 60th birthday meal. "I know it tastes nice" he was reported saying to his sister,...

Mr Brightside 17.12.12 7:43am
'Biscuit of the Year 2012' Winner being kept under wraps

'Biscuit of the Year 2012' Winner being kept under wraps...

Mr Brightside 17.12.12 12:34am
Exclusive: Secrets of the Hobbit/Potter challenge revealed

During an interview today where Martin Freeman was wearily defending the new cash-cow trilogy digging up Bilbo Baggins, the prequels, the new star of The Hobbit made a startling confession. He was...

Squudge 16.12.12 11:24pm
Psycadelic Squirrel
Gay marriage 'unnatural' says elderly celibate transvestite 3
Oxbridge 16.12.12 10:46pm
Tess Goes
‘Fair enough’ says HMRC as annual tax payment arrives from Poundland. 3
malgor 16.12.12 10:28pm
Tess Goes
Mayan Holocaust Forecast retranslated as Mayo Expiry Date

[ed: if it suits you, ticker should be 21st Dec]...

Sinnick 16.12.12 10:17pm
House of Lords to be fitted out for peer to peer networking. More soon. 0
Maverick 16.12.12 10:10pm
Worcestershire man’s 'incredible generosity' at nurses’ charity car wash

A Tenbury Wells man who donated more than £2,000 at a charity car wash organised by nurses at Worcestershire Royal Hospital has been given a special award in recognition of his generosity. Mr...

Dick Everyman 16.12.12 10:03pm
Tess Goes
‘Only plumbers want to see your gum floating in piss’ insists scientist

Scientists at Oxford University say they are no nearer developing a urine-soluble chewing gum than when they first started., And with the nation’s gum chewers still unable to grasp the...

Gerontius 16.12.12 9:29pm
Cameron to Bugger Disabled Kids at Parliamentary Christmas Do

T'was the night before Christmas and all through the Houses of Parliament, David Cameron, dressed in red and white in a vain attempt win over the general public once it comes to light that Atos are...

Matthew Newman 16.12.12 8:53pm
Cyclists Not Ignorant, Merely Mute

If you've been walking along a pavement and a cyclist has whizzed past you without a word of warning you may think they are ill-mannered, ignorant or unaware that they are riding an unstable machine....

Sexton A Blake 16.12.12 8:23pm
Sexton A Blake
Newcastle fans defend right to bare arms.

Hmmm I’ll get my coat...

malgor 16.12.12 7:23pm
Fred The Homepride Man Latest Celeb Arrested in Operation Yewtree The police investigation sparked by enquiries into the activities of Jimmy Savile has claimed another victim who was at the height of...

Sexton A Blake 16.12.12 7:19pm
Penis wins top design award...

The penis has won the highest accolade at the annual British Design Awards. Simon Cardwell, president of the Design Council, said “It’s time to recognise the penis as a design classic that’s...

Tripod 16.12.12 7:14pm
US Gun Lobby calls to arm teachers, schoolkids

Teachers in American schools should routinely carry firearms so tragedies like the one at Newtown can be “nipped in the bud”, a pro-firearms spokesman said today. “If the teachers at the...

nickb 16.12.12 6:34pm
Ofsted exchange trip badly timed admits spokesman. 0
reforse 16.12.12 3:22pm
Sales of five-year diaries hit by Mayan prediction... 2
Tripod 16.12.12 1:51pm
Paris fashion show features unique 'un-hip' look 0
Dumbnews 16.12.12 1:34pm
Abu Quatada invites Vicar around for Christmas dinner

In his latest plot to win friends, Quatada has promised a right cracker of a Christmas for the local vicar involving Halal turkey, pigs in blankets and all the trimmings., Eager to settle into the...

Tess Goes 16.12.12 11:40am
Tess Goes
. 0
Sinnick 16.12.12 10:13am
Madam Coco the Clown arrested for 'entertaining at home'

Madam Coco the Clown was arrested at her south-west London home last night, accused of running a 'disorderly house', after a rather lengthly 'sting' operation by the Met police. 'Party planner' Coco...

Squudge 16.12.12 10:04am
Tess Goes
Olympic Legacy: Cameron urges next generation to 'take a running jump' 0
tedweasel 16.12.12 9:13am
World set to end on 21st December. Sir Alex Ferguson to get an extra 10 minutes. 1
16.12.12 7:42am
WH Smith launches 90% off Mayan calendars sale 0
Yikes 15.12.12 11:08pm