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David Cameron says: 'I can probably stop the oil leak single handed' 0
PluckyMunky 3 years

'It is certainly something Labour could never have done.'...

Dancer, Michael Flatley's feet fall off after 35 taps a second record 0
PluckyMunky 3 years

He remains philosophical. 'I will set up the record for tapping with stumps', says a jolly Lord of the Dance. 'No more flatley feet for me.'...

Correction 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years

'Teen sailor Abby Sunderland rescued from French fishermen' should have read 'Teen sailor Abby Sunderland rescued by French fishermen'...

man and wife arrested for indecency in south africa 0
arthurminnit 3 years

"I only told him to blow my vuvuzela!", says wife, as husband picks curly hairs from between front teeth...

Egon Ronay's condition described as 'critical' for last 60 years 0
rickwestwell 3 years
Urban Hunt cause mayhem in town centre chasing fox 0
Basil_B 3 years

A total of twenty people were described as being in serious to stable condition in hospital today after a hunt took it upon themselves to try and catch the fox that had been at the centre of this...

'My years in prison 'insignificant' compared to England's 44 years of hurt' 0
fernandomando 3 years

states Mandela...

Harvey Nichols getting hammered over decision to sell bed of nails. 0
Basil_B 3 years
'44 years of hurt not really that painful' admits Greavsie 0
jp1885 3 years
Satanic lingerie company releases diabolical liberty bodice 0
jp1885 3 years
Maradonna employs South African Rugby Team to coach handling techniques. 0
Basil_B 3 years

Springboks coach Peter De Villiers said ' there is nothing we can teach the master himself and his team but there is always room for improvement in cheating techniques errrr sorry I mean handling...

No Dispair at Met Office over annual BBQ Summer Prediction 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years

'Its got to happen one year.'...

Coulthard on criticism over his honour. ' I've got a broad chin, I can take it' 0
Basil_B 3 years

More dubious honours soon...

5,221 People Mauled by Dogs Last Year. 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years

anyway getting back to the fox. When will there be a nationwide cull? Is the fox hunting ban to blame? should the hunts be allowed to roam through towns at night? More hysteria later...

Charity shop overwhelmed after Browns donate family possessions 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years

The book list includes 'Financial Regulation for Dummies', 'How to Complicate Tax' and an xmas gift 'Faith in Foreign Policy through Military Means' signed by T Blair...

BP's crude oil plan fails 0
jkdune 3 years

BP, Britain’s largest oil company and one of the world’s environmental thought-leaders, has suffered a major setback in their latest attempt to save the world from climate change. Having been...

Alan Rickman to play title role in The Tony Hayward Story 0
Stan Laurel 3 years
Obama u-turn on BP when adviser reminds him he owns shares 0
riesler 3 years

Bought them with his Union Carbide profits...

'Theres no point crying over spilt milk but there is when it's oil' says Obama 0
Basil_B 3 years
Relief as Muse fans find new album indistinguishable from previous one 0
QorbeQ 3 years

English 'rock band' Muse have been praised for 'saving their fans a packet' with the release of their latest album, titled 'Eternal Fires of Duplication'. 'I was really worried that I'd have to fork...

Prescott agrees to dump everything to help cap oil-spill 1
edward hack 3 years

In a last, desperate attempt to stop oil flowing into the Gulf of Mexico, BP executives have turned to former Labour heavyweight Lord Prescott of Ull for help., Engineers have come up with an...

BP buys a family pack of Bounty to soak up oil spill. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Role Gamers New Honour List 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years

The Role Gamers Association have been handing out awards in the 'Emperor of Intergalactic Space Birthday List'. Among the many awards Jack Short, 51, has been given a MME [Member of Mordor Empire]...

Junior Apprentice to be renamed Grooming for businessmen 0
virtuallywill 3 years

Sugar Daddy...

Troops Confused by Constant Praise 1
Dun Dunkin 3 years

'Yeh they all come out and talk but they never bring us any effing helicopters'...

The iTop is killer application for chinese iPad assembly line workers 0
StoopyDeGunt 3 years

They could be checking their tech stocks, downloading the latest world cup stats or just scanning the Guardian Online for coverage of their grim working conditions, but there's no doubt that Chinese...

World Cup latest. Portugal forfeit game as North Korea threaten to bring on sub 2
brownpaperreporter 3 years

No defence soon...

Ham fisted man makes sandwiches 28
PluckyMunky 3 years
Man who grassed front room murdered by the kitchen 6
brownpaperreporter 3 years

No-one likes a grass...

FIFA remove penalties from World Cup games 1
Tortugasl 3 years

To avoid embarrassment of individual referees, overcome the disappointment with lack of goals in the last tournament and to encourage more creative play; FIFA has announced new rules for the 2010...