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Coronation Street shock as Gary Barlow revealed as Ken's illegitimate son.

Boring X-Factor anecdotes give secret away...

Bryan with a Y 12.11.11 4:17pm
Bryan with a Y
Vodafone to pay 'token tax bill' on 30th November

Her Majesty's Revenue & Customs have settled a long standing grumble with off-shore tax avoidance and mobile telephone merchants Vodafone. HMRCs David Hartnett has agreed that Vodaphone will pay...

dvo4fun 12.11.11 4:17pm
No more live football coverage, as Premier League sanction Syria 0
Perks 12.11.11 4:03pm
Minister urges public sector workers ‘not to comb hair’ as token strike gesture 0
Clarky 12.11.11 3:58pm
Union urges '15-minute government' 0
roybland 12.11.11 2:47pm
Drug dealing dwarf spared jail as only top bunks available.

Bashful prosecution lawyers were left feeling rather dopey yesterday following the sentence handed down. The grumpy judge was less than happy that one member of the jury kept sneezing throughout the...

Bryan with a Y 12.11.11 2:39pm
Bryan with a Y
Tesco bosses say 'bottoms up' as they toast 'Gay Pride London' sponsorship.

'Race for Life' dropped in favour of the pink pound...

Bryan with a Y 12.11.11 2:16pm
Bryan with a Y
Donkey Sanctuary ‘should have spotted the donkeys were fake’

A Donkey Sanctuary admitted today that most of last year's record intake of rescue animals were, in fact, ‘men in quite convincing pantomime donkey costumes, many of them Greek’. It also...

NewSuburbanDad 12.11.11 1:56pm
Berlusconi agrees to step down for 15 minutes 0
kga6 12.11.11 1:39pm
Russian Mars Probe "Could Be Anywhere".

It has emerged that the Phobos-Grunt spacecraft launched by Russians may or may not have landed on Mars recently. The European Space Agency has said that it is unlikely to be able to salvage much...

mattupchuck 12.11.11 1:00pm
James Murdoch admits "We only employ liars, apart from me, obviously"

James Murdoch has revealed that dishonesty was a job requirement for News International employees. "That's why everyone's evidence contradicts mine.", explained Murdoch...

apepper 12.11.11 12:58pm
Cat swinging man moved to larger council flat after submitting video

More to follow...

apepper 12.11.11 12:57pm
Blair delight as he brokers peace deal between Confucius and Simple Simon.

The father of Brit-Pop could hardly contain himself today, as his role in the ongoing dispute between Confucius and Simple Simon was made public. Leaked police files from North Yorkshire Police...

Bryan with a Y 12.11.11 12:55pm
Bryan with a Y
Pensioners cheer as they finally return to 'the good old days'; cold and poor.

Age Concern yet to confirm victory...

Bryan with a Y 12.11.11 12:24pm
Bryan with a Y
X-Factor rapped over discarded johnny. 0
MADJEZ 12.11.11 11:56am
Berlusconi to resign definitely soon perhaps maybe...unless he changes his mind. 0
MADJEZ 12.11.11 11:53am
Veterans seek assurances Easter Bunny will wear a poppy next year 2
12.11.11 11:46am
Olive Oyl fury as veterans continue to muscle in on her annual Popeye appeal

Negotiations continue...

Bryan with a Y 12.11.11 11:43am
Bryan with a Y
Christmas Lights deny being turned on by Justin Bieber. 1
Zadok the second 12.11.11 10:42am
Vertically Challenged Giant
Chaos in Chelsea dressing room after sponsor Mobius provides new strips. 0
dominic_mcg 12.11.11 10:00am
MOD cuts latest: Soldiers only to be paid "when actually fighting". More soon.

Guns to be fitted with stop-watches...

Al OPecia 12.11.11 9:43am
Al OPecia
Commonwealth Games to retire to Gold Coast, Queensland in 2018 0
Nick McCarr 12.11.11 9:29am
Nick McCarr
Starr and Boardman at war over best 'Comedy German' outfit.

The balloon well and truly went up today, as Stan Boardman dropped the bombshell that he plans to attend the forgotten comics Christmas Party in his 'hilarious' German outfit. The bubbled-permed...

Bryan with a Y 12.11.11 9:11am
Bryan with a Y
Italian govt. commemorate armistice day by being dictated to by the Germans 2
charlies_hat 11.11.11 10:57pm
Egypt closes pyramid, what's the point ? 0
medici2471 11.11.11 8:29pm
World Athletics Championship 2017, Met jubilant 0
medici2471 11.11.11 8:15pm
Geordie kids to re-enact Jarrow Crusade

A group of youngsters from the north east of England are to re-enact part of the great Jarrow Crusade of the 1930’s by attempting to cross the Tyne Bridge from Newcastle to Gateshead entirely on...

Gerontius 11.11.11 7:40pm
geordie crusada
Silence and tears across the UK as Lampard/Barry midfield is announced 3
JD 11.11.11 7:11pm
mugabe to replace cocozza on x-factor

because of his better voice and looks and the huge number of followers to regain the ratings...

4ty2 11.11.11 6:57pm
Debt-hit Italian offers cut-price genuine metal knife: "Itsa real steal" 0
kga6 11.11.11 6:57pm