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dvo4fun 28.11.12 5:43pm
Secret 1960s US plan to devastate world cheese supply exposed 0
antharrison 28.11.12 5:20pm
New Tesco self checkout to banish NHS queues

Tesco and the NHS are piloting two schemes that will enable users to scan themselves for serious illnesses or opt for a once-and-for-all final check-out. Tesco Head of New Ideas, Alex Fleming, said...

Dick Everyman 28.11.12 4:25pm
Dick Everyman
Man found who didn't abuse children

The distraught family of Bert Smythe who died in 1992, aged 82, are coming to terms with the news that he wasn't a child abuser. "We are distraught" said one family member who preferred to remain...

beagle 28.11.12 4:24pm
BREAKING NEWS: Blusterous New Jersey Gov Blows Off His Party

The Storm of the Century changed everything. And no, not the winds and waves that wreaked havoc all along the East Coast, but the November tempest that sent Hostess Brands reeling into bankruptcy....

28.11.12 4:07pm
Heaven in disarray as God announces end to 'working in mysterious ways.'

The afterlife was in shock last night after God announced the end of his flagship policy of moving in mysterious ways, announcing a new programme of moving in ‘sober and well intentioned straight...

TheNewsWalrus 28.11.12 3:44pm
Pigs politely but firmly request not to be used in religious wars

In response to a 16 year-old swine throwing pieces of ham at a mosque in Crawley yesterday, the Pig Independence Group (or PIG for short) has set-down a series of ground rules for their use this...

thumper 28.11.12 3:09pm
Psychiatric patients to ‘pay their way’ says Health Minister.

Health Minister Jeremy Hunt has released proposals for making psychiatric patients contribute towards the cost of their care, as part of his drive to put the NHS on a profitable basis. The new...

sigmund 28.11.12 1:59pm
Dean Gaffney applies for spy job with MFI

more soon....

ginty 28.11.12 1:09pm
Pope to star in new series of 'I'm A Celibate Get Me Out Of Here'

more soon etc...

beagle 28.11.12 12:42pm
Jeering mob pelt 'woeful' fruit and veg stall with actors and stand-up comedians 0
Idiot 28.11.12 12:27pm
Keystone Cameron gives 'thumbs up' for new Governor

King of the slapstick, Fred Karno has been named by chancellor George Osborne as the next governor of the Bank of England., Fred, widely credited with inventing the ‘pie-in-the face’ gag will...

Gerontius 28.11.12 11:59am
Chelsea manager changes name by deed poll to Boonitez 0
simonjmr 28.11.12 11:56am
Divine Brown gives Hugh Grant positive rating on Linkedin "We've DOne Business"

Hugh Grant's LinkedIn profile has been given a massive boost with some positive feedback and glowing reviews from people he's done business with. Now that newspapers are only allowed to write...

ronseal 28.11.12 11:29am
Benitez out, Fergie lined up as Abramovich eyes United

Chelsea football club owner Roman Abramovich, the man who can’t stop sacking managers, was at it again today as he brutally dismissed Rafa Benitez following Sunday’s disappointing 0-0 draw with...

Reg Herring 28.11.12 10:45am
Reg Herring
New craze ‘learning’ set to be fastest growing internet fad of all time

Following the huge popularity of internet crazes like ‘planking’ and ‘milking’, a new trend is rapidly gaining notoriety amongst British students and is soon to be the fastest growing...

JonnyJP 28.11.12 9:39am
Islamic ‘Fund a Mentalist’ charity proscribed 0
medici2471 28.11.12 9:38am
Starbucks app on iphone provided by Vodaphone: The ultimate in tax avoidance

HM Revenue and Customs have today announced that all UK citizens who have the Starbucks app on their Vodaphone network iphones will today be arrested for aiding and abetting tax avoidance. More soon...

simonjmr 28.11.12 9:34am
‘No victims since the 60’s’: about the time Cyril Smith started eating them 0
medici2471 28.11.12 9:32am
Cyril Smith convicted of abusing armchairs and bedsteads 1
antharrison 28.11.12 9:06am
UK 'in deep shock' over allegations of Liberal MP's sexual behaviour 0
dvo4fun 28.11.12 8:06am
Levenson report evidence "obtained from phone taps"

Calls have been made for an enquiry into the way evidence was obtained for the Leveson report. More to follow...

apepper 28.11.12 6:52am
NHS spot check reveals acne drug over prescribed. 0
weematt 27.11.12 11:19pm
Rihanna so ill she can't even remove most of her own clothing 0
ginty 27.11.12 10:41pm
Scientists say trouser-making technology is "making great strides" 0
exigo 27.11.12 10:24pm
BBC flooding news latest: 'there was something in the air that night', Ben Ando 0
Mandy Lifeboat 27.11.12 10:08pm
Mandy Lifeboat
Savile to be Terminated in Downton Abbey Series 4

ITV today confirmed that they have been approached by the BBC about introducing a Terminator style killing into the fourth series of Downton Abbey. The BBC are hoping to stop Jimmy Savile 20 years...

Sheepback 27.11.12 10:02pm
Otto Jespersen
BBC to hold alternative Sports Personality of the Year to calm the nation

Concerned about inducing widespread public hysteria with a Sports Personality of the Year show that for once contains genuine winners, the BBC announced today that it will simultaneously broadcast an...

thumper 27.11.12 9:48pm
Police round up all old Knights of the Realm "as a precaution". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 27.11.12 7:54pm
Al OPecia
Policemen signing up for duty undercovers in droves. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 27.11.12 7:51pm
Al OPecia