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Rom-com sequel, "When Harry assaulted Sally" fails at box office

More later...

virtuallywill 19.07.13 7:35am
Baby Delay Blamed On 'Coalition Cutbacks And Economic Mis-Management'

according to the opposition (such as it is)...

Titus 19.07.13 7:19am
Bigots demand unequal rights

<hat tip to Titus>...

Squudge 19.07.13 6:42am
Queen gives vegans permission to eat swan

Swans do not have souls and can therefore be consumed by vegans with the Queen's permission, reports confirm. Experts at the Wildlife Research Institute subjected nature's river-mincing fancy pants...

Dick De Menthe 19.07.13 6:39am
Weapons cargo an elaborate ruse to hide Kim Jong-Un's Rubik's cube addiction

New information has surfaced regarding the cargo onboard the North Korean ship which was recently seized in Panama. Initially it was reported the ship, purportedly carrying sugar, actually contained...

ChairmanMouth 19.07.13 1:03am
Man cancels camping holiday - goes on mincing holiday instead 0
Smart Alex 18.07.13 10:12pm
Smart Alex
Hewitt strongly denies rumour that Harry is the father. 0
Ref Minor 18.07.13 9:54pm
Ref Minor
New Samsung phone boasts 30% fewer features 0
Dumbnews 18.07.13 8:57pm
Press ecstatic as Prince Philip announces visit to Mandela's bedside.

More soon. What would he say?...

Al OPecia 18.07.13 8:38pm
NHS Experts' report concludes: 'Hospitals need more experts'

Teams of experts sent into hospitals to discover why patients are dying in their thousands believe they may have found the answer. In a highly controversial report, Professor Sir Hamish Andrews,...

John Wiltshire 18.07.13 8:36pm
Royal Baby silence due to presence of Tom Cruise at bedside. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 18.07.13 8:19pm
Al OPecia
Come Dine With Me Ramadan Special a real turn off 1
custard cream 18.07.13 8:06pm
Jesus H
Local man considers not getting a tattoo 4
Dumbnews 18.07.13 7:00pm
William rules out "Vindaloo and shag" option for inducing future monarch

The Gynaecologist Royal Dr Sir Mark Smedhurst suffered a setback yesterday after suggesting the time honoured solution of a blistering hot curry and a vigorous seeing to as a way of hastening...

CulchaVulcha 18.07.13 6:11pm
Luther pursues Kardashian that kills for media attention.

The Metropolitan Police have called on DCI John Luther to track down the member of the Kardashian family currently killing for media attention. London’s most ruthless officer has previous with...

sdritchie 18.07.13 4:57pm
NB Reveals Conspiracy To Cover Up Kidnap Of Royal Baby By Somali Pirates

You read it here first, folks...

Titus 18.07.13 3:44pm
Channel 4 'delighted' as One Born Every Minute wins Royal birth exclusive

Channel 4 were excited to announce today that it's hugely popular show One Born Every Minute has fought off tough competition from the likes of Hello and OK magazines to win the world exclusive...

Jesus H 18.07.13 2:52pm
Josie Maureen E Oh playing mind games with Wayne Rooney.

it's like MENSA playing against the special needs unit...

irreverendJ 18.07.13 2:49pm
Bigots Demand Equal Rights 0
Titus 18.07.13 2:36pm
Top ten things you didn't know about hot weather

1. It's hotter than the norm, 2please add nauseum...

irreverendJ 18.07.13 1:59pm
Alastair Cook drops Queen from England cricket team 0
custard cream 18.07.13 1:55pm
custard cream
'Special measures' in place for St Mary's Hospital in Paddington 0
custard cream 18.07.13 1:53pm
custard cream
NHS Managers Admit Baby Arrived OK But They Mislaid It

"It's not our fault" said a spokesman for the hospital managers "There's so many of them and they all look the same. And, let's face it, babies are quite small so it's easy to put one down and...

Titus 18.07.13 1:53pm
Rooney move off as he is unable to submit a written transfer request 0
custard cream 18.07.13 1:48pm
custard cream
Lib Dem voter agrees to wear ‘hair shirt’

In an act of contrition a Mr. N.Kendall has agreed to undergo a series of medieval tasks to make amends for the disappointment that is Nick Clegg. Having loyally voted for the Lib Dems in numerous...

Wrenfoe 18.07.13 12:54pm
Family tradition 'to be upheld' if baby isn't a boy, confirm Royal Family 0
Jesus H 18.07.13 12:50pm
Jesus H
Big nose horn faced dinosaur discovered in the Conservative party

UK commentators have challeneged claims by scientists in Utah to have discovered a new breed of dinosaur, the imaginatively named 'Big nose horn faced dinosaur'. "This is not a new breed" a...

sillybugger 18.07.13 12:40pm
Pink or Blue? Delay Leaves Asian Teddy-Bear Factories Verging On Bankruptcy 1
Titus 18.07.13 12:31pm
Fewer Criminals Arrested Following Reduction In Police Numbers

"Wahey!" said a spokesman for the Poice Federation "That means crime must have reduced er um doesn't it?"...

Titus 18.07.13 12:23pm
Call For No-Fly Zone

Never mind Syria - do you reckon NATO or the RAF could get rid of the flies round my home?...

Titus 18.07.13 12:15pm