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Giddy aunt was actually suffering from benign paroxysmal positional vertigo

Dr Leo Mortimer was left with nothing but a sense of guilt after performing a post-mortem on his own Aunt Ethel’s corpse. ‘She had a long history of feeling faint, falling to her knees and...

malgor 12.12.11 11:59pm
Crowds line Bucharest streets to honour repatriated Wooton Bassett flag salesmen 2
reforse 12.12.11 11:59pm
Xmas disappointment as 'Nick Clegg principles' sold out 3
Perks 12.12.11 11:57pm
Fanatical muso finally realises X Factor wasn't aimed at him

A fanatical music fan had a moment of clarity this week, when he realised that 'The X Factor' wasn't specifically made for his entertainment. Jeremy 'The Rage' Osthwaite is considered to be 'the...

12.12.11 11:51pm
Clegg's taxi finally arrives at House of Commons after 18 months

Why is he always looking at the door when Cameron is speaking at the despatch box? It's almost like he doesn't want to be there...

MT Bucket 12.12.11 11:41pm
Climate change sceptic Nigel Lawson claims Nigella not as hot as she was

hat tip to username...

medici2471 12.12.11 11:36pm
irregular apple
'Little Mix' has 'One Direction'. More soon. 0
MT Bucket 12.12.11 11:31pm
MT Bucket
BBC admits parts of Doctor Who filmed in Cardiff, not in a TARDIS. More soon. 0
MT Bucket 12.12.11 11:28pm
MT Bucket
Cameron fails to negotiate way of paper bag: SAS called in to attempt rescue. 0
MT Bucket 12.12.11 11:09pm
MT Bucket
Clegg: "I'll scweam and scweam and scweam until I'm sick" 0
MT Bucket 12.12.11 11:03pm
MT Bucket
Lib Dems break world record for lowest recorded temperature in Cabinet meeting 0
MT Bucket 12.12.11 10:59pm
MT Bucket
Clegg not in Parliament because he was "searching for his rattle". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 12.12.11 10:19pm
Al OPecia
Vladimir Putin crowned surprise winner of Russian X Factor

Vladimir Putin walked off with the Russian X Factor title last night with 98.3 percent of the public vote, despite widespread allegations of vote-rigging. The Prime Minister and horse enthusiast...

Gary Stanton 12.12.11 9:29pm
irregular apple
CIA Drone going for $100,000 on Iranian Blow-Up TV 0
irregular apple 12.12.11 9:19pm
irregular apple
Napoleon's head removed after threats.

The stuffed head of French Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte was today taken down from the wall of a Devon hotel after numerous threats urging its removal. Hotel owner Claire Carter was surprised to learn...

irregular apple 12.12.11 8:23pm
irregular apple
Chelsea decide to put John Terry out to stud. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 12.12.11 8:10pm
Sarkozy to judge Britain's Got Parliament

Sources close to the French premier suggest he has agreed a deal with Simon Cowell's SYCO production company to judge 'Britain's Got Parliament' a new Westminster based reality extravaganza. Sarkozy...

irregular apple 12.12.11 8:07pm
irregular apple
Scotland battered 9
beau-jolly 12.12.11 7:53pm
X-Factor winners to promote self serve kids sweets ... Pick'n'Mix

bags more soon...

Kramaring 12.12.11 7:09pm
Middle Class diners becoming violent as they 'simply insist' on paying

Gastro pubs and over priced French eateries all over middle England have reported a disturbing rise of violent incidents as middle class diners insist on paying for everything. "I like to...

Shandy 12.12.11 6:52pm
Higgs particle found mounted on wall in Swiss Hotel 0
kga6 12.12.11 5:55pm

- hat tip beau-jolly...

medici2471 12.12.11 5:49pm
'Where's Nick?' books to launch for xmas

If they sell out the original title should suffice informs cabinet office...

irregular apple 12.12.11 5:23pm
irregular apple
School Christmas concert geese strangling atrocities supposedly clarinet recital

"What we thought was a clarinet recital was actually seven, ten year olds beating and strangling a gaggle of geese" More soon...

simonjmr 12.12.11 5:13pm
Bullring management ban Japanese Endurance film crew from shopping centre 0
medici2471 12.12.11 5:04pm
Libyan rebels in line for top ‘smooth rebellion’ award

Judges in the 2011 rebellion season have given the strongest indication yet that Libya looks likely to take the top spot on the revolution podium. ‘The competition has been really stiff this...

malgor 12.12.11 4:09pm
RBS losing £45bn "was bad idea" shock

It's turned out that the RBS losing a fortune and having to be bought out by the government was not as good an idea as originally thought...

apepper 12.12.11 3:45pm
Turkey victory at christmas.

Bernard mathews turkey farms where left reeling today after french judge, I haventee a clueso judged thet under the european human rights act, turkeys where entightled to a family life ...

Q 12.12.11 3:28pm
Ancient pagan godess complains stone statues "makes her bum look big". 1
Al OPecia 12.12.11 3:23pm
New supergroup Incontinentia girls go strait to number 2s

That was shit lol...

Q 12.12.11 3:22pm