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Buffy the vampire slayer’s parents don’t like her first boyfiend. 0
be reasonable 4 years

“He’s up all night, he smells, talks gibberish and flies into inexplicable rages,” they said. “Why can’t she date a normal teenager oh”...

Young Cow Suffers Calf Strain in Milk Cup Final 0
mugwump 4 years

More moosbiscuit headlines later...

Army to be replaced by friendless, paintball-obsessed bores 2
SpankyMonkey 4 years
Obama reality check required after he asks for Captain Kirk on space call 0
Basil_B 4 years
Drinker reveals “cider-fects” 3
beau-jolly 4 years

In a frank interview on Radio West, folk singer James “stinky” Trewyln explained the unfortunate domino effect caused by habitual cider consumption., With disarming honesty, he explained that...

Theories swirl over absences of ‘useless pillock’ salesman 1
Oxbridge 4 years

Scholars at market-tracking software firm eMarket Systems in Basingstoke are engaged in a lengthy, often rancorous debate about the repeated absences of sales executive Jason Bradshaw. Several are...

Hertz Van Rental named as new Austro-Hungarian heir 0
beau-jolly 4 years
Festival goer comits chemi khazi 0
beau-jolly 4 years

(Just jealous 'cos I'm at work)...

female cyclist dares to venture into middle of road 2
a bloke nothing funny to say 4 years

After decades of female cyclists habitually hugging the kerb as if they were magnatically glued to it, the first sighting in Britain of one cycling in the middle of the road has been brought to our...

Rebekah Brooks unresigns 1
Ludicity 4 years

In yet another twist to the phone hacking scandal, former News International chief executive Rebekah Brooks has announced her unresignation from the company. ‘It is totally inconceivable that I...

Man thrown out of Judo club. More soon. 2
Al OPecia 4 years
Kids surprised to see a 'we are sorry' message in this weeks copy of the Dandy 0
Basil_B 4 years
Gov Creates Anti Swearing Regulator, Office for Undermining Cursing , OFUC 2
mugwump 4 years
Missing person finds himself on the Internet. 1
Frott Spank 4 years

A 43-year-old man who disappeared 381 days ago found himself today. John Smith, a welder from Bolton, declared, "I feel like a new man. I thought it was never going to happen!" Mr. Smith explained...

Stewart Lee conquers his phobia of telling jokes 3
Christopher Frost 4 years
Liverpool Shell Out Again for Mediocre Talent by Signing Rebekah Brooks 1
scrumper 4 years

In another daring move to sign mediocre British talent, Liverpool Football Club today signed free agent Rebekah Brooks for a fee thought to have broken the British transfer record. A spokesman at the...

In New york Hassidic Child killer Levi Aron'says he hears voices telling him 13
doggone 4 years

"say you hear voices"...

Nigel's parents admit things haven't turned out the way they planned. 8
Ian Searle 4 years

After he was made redundant by British Steel...

London man wins fucking medal or something 8
Andrew 4 years

Robin Parker, 52, of Lewisham, was today awarded a fucking medal or something for turning up to work on time for the tenth day running. His supervisor, Helen Thomas, said "he's had a bit of a...

Euromillions jackpot won by 'two tight bastards from north of the border' 2
roybland 4 years

The £161m Euromillions jackpot has been won by 'two tight bastards from north of the border' according to one million disgruntled English lottery players. While Chris Weir and her husband Colin...

As Charlie Gilmour explains to his new friends how his i pad 2 is jailbroken 0
doggone 4 years

they mention its funny how he should bring that up...

OFNURS calls for new nursery rhymes to deal with cancer and paedophilia 0
grottymonty 4 years

Given the timless appeal of ring o roses, OFNURS a quango concerned overseeing childrens rhymes has called for new nursery rhymes covering such subjects as new variant CJD, cancer, paedophilia,...

Rupert Murdoch makes mili-apology. 0
deskpilot3 4 years
News Corp scandal forces Obama to resign due to six degrees of seperation 0
Dumbnews 4 years
hobo's fear price hike 1
dangleberry 4 years

hobo's fear price hike after hooch factory explosion kills five...

Fred Bayr 4 years

Leader of the BNP Nick Griffin is suffering from the world’s first case of Reverse Vitiligo. Vitiligo slowly discolours dark skin in patches and over time can turn black people white. The most...

Lancaster bomber returns from Tripoli mission - RAF deny aircraft shortages 3
brownpaperreporter 4 years
Murdoch's apology to Dowlers: "I never thought we'd get caught". More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 4 years
Newscorps to officially be pronounced phonetically from now on 0
charlies_hat 4 years
Information from hacked voicemails published 8
Danny 4 years

In an attempt to alleviate the unprecedented public outcry over the phone hacking scandal has led News International to release the specific information gained from the voicemails of the various...