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Civil unrest blamed on shortage of Turkish Delight 3
Dick Everyman 03.06.13 6:28pm
Dick Everyman
"You and your big mouth", says Catherine Zeta-Jones 3
sydalg 03.06.13 5:47pm
'Cancer caused by cunnilingus', says Douglas 'but I've licked it now' 0
topfotogmw 03.06.13 5:42pm
Grumbleweed to tumbleweed. No more soon. 0
Al OPecia 03.06.13 5:27pm
Al OPecia
European flooding latest: God tells Nigel Farage to build ark

UKIP leader Nigel Farage today revealed that he has been instructed by God to build an ark in order to protect sane, anti-European thinkers like himself from the rising floodwaters which God has sent...

Long Distance Clara 03.06.13 5:23pm
Midfield Diamond
Michael Douglas ruins sex for women

Following Michael Douglas' recent comment that his throat cancer was caused by oral sex rather than smoking and drinking, as is usually the case, women everywhere fear that the "Goodey/Jolie effect"...

Dr.Gav 03.06.13 5:15pm
Midfield Diamond
Yewtree detectives suspect Australian entertainer of forcing Matilda 1
Smart Alex 03.06.13 4:53pm
Lords discuss tiny minorities having too big an effect on legislation., "..calling homosexuals "a very small minority". ", Probably a better ticker waiting to be written...

Not Amused 03.06.13 4:14pm
Not Amused
Maureen E' it a bridge too far?

(with apologies to Prince and Sinead OConnor) It's been five years, eight months and fourteen days, Since U went to Spain to stay, We’ve won the champions league and the cup de FA, Since U took...

irreverendJ 03.06.13 3:52pm
Primary children think fish fingers contain pork - and are surprised to be right

Just an idea thereI think the BBC said it was a 1/3 of all school children.,

theinvisiblecitychannels 03.06.13 3:43pm
Throat cancer linked smoking a fat cigar whilst receiving oral sex

Michael Douglas reveals all...

simonjmr 03.06.13 3:34pm
Man finds perfect partner on the other side of the world thru online hating site

An insecure man with massive hang ups has found his other half, thanks to a new internet hating site. Martin Swindlehurst had given up on ever finding a partner with neuroses that matched his own....

ronseal 03.06.13 2:43pm
Pub quiz compiler demanded cash for questions

A policeman has been suspended after he admitted being offered money for the compilation of a prestigious pub quiz. Piers Mackenzie-Laird was filmed by undercover reporters apparently negotiating...

Midfield Diamond 03.06.13 2:27pm
Midfield Diamond
England are fantastic/rubbish

Following their last game, England have proved that they are brilliant/awful, and that Roy Hodgson should be knighted/shot. Wayne Rooney was especially on form/on Mars Bars, and he could have scored...

John Wiltshire 03.06.13 2:03pm
Loose tongues cost lives, warns Michael Douglas 2
sydalg 03.06.13 1:42pm
England are fantastic/rubbish

Following their last game, England have proved that they are brilliant/awful, and that Roy Hodgson should be knighted/shot. Wayne Rooney was especially on form/on Mars Bars, and he could have scored...

John Wiltshire 03.06.13 1:37pm
John Wiltshire
Nigel Farage 'odds on favourite' to be next Doctor Who

Bookmakers have slashed the odds on Nigel Farage becoming the next Dr Who, following rumours that the UKIP leader is being lined up to play the timelord's twelfth incarnation. A source at the BBC...

TheNewsWalrus 03.06.13 12:59pm
Brian May leads the Badger Parade 0
victimms 03.06.13 12:54pm
Daniel Radcliffe 'hated making money'

In an interview today, Daniel Radcliffe revealed that he hated making money during the Harry Potter series. 'Some of the amounts were really embarrassing,' he said. 'Sometimes I'd just stand in...

John Wiltshire 03.06.13 12:54pm
Brass monkey's oppose Balls cold weather plans

More to follow...

apepper 03.06.13 12:52pm
Catherine Zeta-Jones 'Age difference.. who's laughing now' 0
MADJEZ 03.06.13 12:35pm
Michael Douglas, cancer caused by too many Vagina Monologues. 0
MADJEZ 03.06.13 12:32pm
Turkey protests at being linked to Rebekah Brooks

Mrs Brooks was left publicly humiliated after thousands of Turkish protesters took to the streets of Istanbul and Ankara to deny any relationship with the ex-Chief Executive Officer of News...

Wrenfoe 03.06.13 12:30pm
Labour "to reduce Balls in cold weather"

no more soon...

Not Amused 03.06.13 11:49am
Not Amused
Court will address Woolwich suspect as Abu Hamza only if they can cut off arms. 0
MADJEZ 03.06.13 11:46am
Cunnilingus blamed for Floods

Thousands across Central Europe have been left homeless as fluid levels rise, caused by an excess of oral gratification during the spring thaw. Families have been advised to move to higher ground and...

Wrenfoe 03.06.13 11:29am
Labour reveal plans to scap Winter for Retired top rate tax payers

Labour has revealed its plans to help Higher Rate Tax paying Pensioners by scrapping Winter for anyone earning over 40K per year. Shadow Chancellor Ed Balls told reporters, “ As Labour is the...

Scronnyglonkle 03.06.13 11:01am
Man who almost died during sex didn't know if he was coming or going.

I wouldn't be hugely surprised if this hasn't been done...

sredni vashta 03.06.13 10:44am
Too much 'munt' to drive a punt? Write for Newsbiscuit. 1
Squudge 03.06.13 10:22am
Lords and MPs agree on need to ban fake lobbying and secret filming. 1
weematt 03.06.13 9:44am