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Cheeky and audacious tea break confectionary thief - 'takes the biscuit' 0
thackaray 14.05.12 1:58pm
BBC demand BGT winner has eye gouged out before appearance on the One Show 0
simonjmr 14.05.12 1:46pm
Britains Got Talent winner in bone-hacking scandal

Chews of the World exclusive...

pushmoocat 14.05.12 1:18pm
Glaswegians' cost of living to double with 50p per unit food price shock. 0
Boutros 14.05.12 1:11pm
Windscreen washer price war – rate drops to a “sympathetic eyebrow raise”

In a sign that the recession is affecting all areas of society, roadside windscreen washers are now routinely charging a sympathetic eyebrow raise, with some charging as little as stony-faced...

Yikes 14.05.12 12:02pm
Outbreak of not being a Man Utd fan syndrome everywhere but Manchester

After Man City’s last minute title win in controversial and completely unnecessary extra time, Man United fans everywhere have been struck down with Acute Not Being a Man United Fan Syndrome. ...

Old Hat 14.05.12 11:40am
Old Hat
Confused Tinchy Stryder "thought he was married to Sting" 0
nickb 14.05.12 11:38am
Pudsey revealed as a diva dog as backstage staff say he has distemper! 0
Scronnyglonkle 14.05.12 11:18am
Luxembourg Boxing Council sanction Barton v Balotelli rematch 0
Scronnyglonkle 14.05.12 11:16am
Dalai Lama and Gareth Malone in shock signing for the Darkside

Emperor Palpatine has today announced that he has signed the Dalai Lama and Gareth Malone as emergency cover for his ailing Galatic Empire and Sith Lord counter culture. In the last 30 years...

simonjmr 14.05.12 11:10am
Ferguson commissions new sculpture for Etihad stadium: "The B of the Bastards!" 0
Nails UK 14.05.12 10:43am
Nails UK
Cameron and Clegg to sue Ashleigh and Pudsey for stealing their long-running act 0
cinquecento 14.05.12 10:04am
Only boys Aloud fans slam Ashleigh and Pudsey for buying the title.

To some Ashleigh and Pudsey may seem like a lowly mongrel and a moderately attractive teen done good but fans of rivals Only Boys Aloud have moved to condemn their success, claiming that they brought...

Smith0ne 14.05.12 9:58am
Rochdale welcomes return of 'bob-a-job' 0
pere floza 14.05.12 8:42am
pere floza
Big political surprise as people learn Peter Hain was in the shadow cabinet 0
Duncan Biscuit 14.05.12 8:32am
Duncan Biscuit
Royal College of Nursing report panned by critics 0
Duncan Biscuit 14.05.12 8:32am
Duncan Biscuit
Price of silver reaches record high 0
Duncan Biscuit 14.05.12 8:31am
Duncan Biscuit
Britain's Got Talent winner states in interview he just likes to "Win-a-lot"

More shite jokes about dogs to come...

kimllfixit 14.05.12 8:29am
"£500,000 scant compensation for being made to dance like an idiot" says dog 0
Haywood Manley 14.05.12 8:23am
Haywood Manley
Sonic Weapons to be deployed at Olympics - Mario and Luigi on standby

A spokesperson for the MOD said,"Our main concern is to protect those golden rings". Earlier this month there was outrage when plans were revealed to place Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong on top of blocks...

Ian Searle 14.05.12 8:18am
Ian Searle
F.A. bans Joey Barton from Olympic Tae Kwando squad 0
Scronnyglonkle 14.05.12 8:18am
Lorne Spicer's voice to be deployed as 'sonic weapon' during Olympics 3
Haywood Manley 14.05.12 7:09am
Newsbiscuit disappears into alternative universe "to recycle old submissions".

More again soon...

Al OPecia 14.05.12 7:07am
Al OPecia
Neil Diamond Headlines Branson, MO Theatre but No one Cares

Branson, MO, USA Long time singer-songwriter Neil Diamond made, what his agent calls, "A triumphant comeback" to Branson's 2,500 seat Osmond Theatre, but the expected audience never materialized.,...

chrisjaybecker 14.05.12 2:54am
Man city Sheik Manchester with Allahst gasp title winner 0
tonylemesma 13.05.12 10:12pm
Haiti applies to compete in Eurovision Song Contest...

"We're at least as European as countries like Israel and Turkey", claims Haitian spokesperson...

Smart Alex 13.05.12 9:48pm
Smart Alex
Brooks denies "doing Charlie" at Chequers sleepover 0
nickb 13.05.12 8:58pm
Cameron doubtful re attending Olympic opening.....

as all depends on his skiving schedule...

Jesse Bigg 13.05.12 8:19pm
Jesse Bigg
Tory cuts hit London Olympics.....

starting gun - a blown up crisp packet...

Jesse Bigg 13.05.12 8:04pm
Jesse Bigg
Emergency aid shipment of sky blue shirts despatched to Surrey 0
Vertically Challenged Giant 13.05.12 7:58pm
Vertically Challenged Giant