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Vatican to Repeal "Don't Ask Don't Tell" Policy on Paedophiles 0
Grover 4 years Following the sale of a paedophile advice guide on the book-selling website Amazon, the Vatican is now considering repealing its...

Gap between rich and poor to be turned into new Water Park 4
Milo Shame 4 years

Charles Benmore from the Department of Culture, Media and Sport announces today that his Department is prepared to set up a tendering process for a controlling interest in the gap between the rich...

Winter TV Schedules Reflect Harsh Economic Climate 7
De-scribe 4 years

Highlights from the BBC's winter schedules announced today include: Scrapheap Challenge: Two redundant middle-aged businessmen fight to the death for the right to work in a call-centre. Rising...

Research Scientists in uproar over cuts to 'fucking about a bit' budget 9
Moggsy 4 years

The scientific community is in chaos following government announcements to more than halve funding into inane research which has made titting about a source of full time employment and twee news...

Hospital executive slams doctor for shameless rounding up of NHS job losses 2
Basil_B 4 years

NHS chief executive Sir David Nicholson condemned Royal College of Nursing executive Dr David Carter's claim that 27,000 jobs would go be going in the coming months as a gross exaggeration of the...

Weather forecasters predict it's sometimes windy 0
Sinnick 4 years

Does anyone else get irritated when we're warned about typical weather, just to get the public excited about something ? "Severe Weather Alert - could be slightly icy in winter", "Danger -...

After Amazon refuse to delist paedophiles book protestor 0
arrghgarry 4 years

wants to fuck the CEO`s children up their collective arses,he added these people are as sick as the paedos that like a good read...

Selfish coke addicts to launch TV Channel - "Whose line is it anyway?" 1
simonjmr 4 years
Cameron's Photographer Lines Up Lib-Dem MP's.... 0
Jesse Bigg 4 years

for mugs shot...

Unidentified Student Protestor wins coveted ‘Rear of the Year’ title 0
Milo Shame 4 years

As Scotland Yard officers examine hours of CCTV footage from Millbank, Chief Inspector Ray Willets was happy to announce their involvement in one of the most hotly contested awards of 2010. When...

Christian Insurance Salesman Dismisses 'Acts of God' 0
De-scribe 4 years

"I much prefer his earlier work", said Mr Clive Peasgood, 45 of Leicester...

Cameron suceeds in de-valuing Chinese currency by calling it a 'wanker' 0
Milo Shame 4 years

(more soon)...

Hospital night shift unable to clock off after NHS two minutes to midnight claim 0
Basil_B 4 years
Next Harry Potter to be X Rated 0
Dun Dunkin 4 years

The Proposed 'Confessions of a Wizard' is likely to be the next sequel to the Harry Potter Franchise. The typecast actors are delighted they can break away from their kiddy image and 'let rip' with...

Father in Law accuses love-rat celebrity chef of 'knife-swapping' 0
Milo Shame 4 years

(more soon)...

Car Monopoly Piece removed over Rolls Royce engine concerns 0
Milo Shame 4 years

(more soon)...

Schizophrenic Self-Harmers Welcome Cuts 2
De-scribe 4 years
Press Frenzy As Cheryl Cole Admits Sex Acts 1
De-scribe 4 years

As Cheryl Cole left ITV’s X-Factor studios announcing that she was “gannin’ for a facial”, London’s paparazzi were spinning in collective frenzy last night. Believing that she was...

Teens warned that excessive texting can lead to blindness 0
roybland 4 years
Lorry driver fined for failing to display soft toy tied to his radiator grill. 1
Ian Searle 4 years
Lib-Dems secure more funding for the letter ‘X’ 0
Milo Shame 4 years

In these constrained and politically febrile times, Nick Clegg’s team have ensured that the letter ‘X’ will be financially secure until at least 2011 as part of the Comprehensive Spending...

Veteran Comedians honour fallen at Comedy Cenotaph 1
brownpaperreporter 4 years

As expected, a good turnout was seen at the Comedy Cenotaph in remembrance of those comedians who died on stage over the past century. This year’s remembrance also marked the continued charity work...

75% of NewsBiscuit submissions "just not funny enough" claim expert panel 5
bonjonelson 4 years

[more soon]...

Women still failing to distinguish between housework and slavery, say men 1
Oxbridge 4 years
Man fined for dumping corpse in wrong recycling bin 1
Milo Shame 4 years

A man in Ludlow has today brought his plight to the attention of the wider community. Four months ago, Peter Carmichael killed his father with a savage axe blow to the head. After a number of weeks,...

Student riots 'getting easier' says Ofsted 6
roybland 4 years

Britain's students are finding to easier to stage a riot according to the education watchdog Ofsted. 'Compared to past disturbances by students, this week's protest over tuition fees was less than...

Eggheads Contestant Dispels ‘Smug, Arrogant Tossers’ Myth 0
De-scribe 4 years

“They were ten times worse than that”, said Debbie Henderson, 35, a member of the losing ‘No-Hopers’ team on last night’s edition of TV’s Eggheads quiz show. Ms Henderson, an...

Rise of ‘Indifferent’ Republicans threatens Peace Process 0
Milo Shame 4 years

In recent months, the rise of ‘dissident’ republicans in Northern Ireland has threatened to derail the peace process. Now a new splinter group of ‘indifferent’ republicans plan to create...

NUJ cancels BBC repeat 1
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Perverts struggle to make ends meet 0
Milo Shame 4 years

Susan Lawless from the Sexual Expression Bureau has complained that current economic problems have had a serious effect on threesomes in the Home Counties. She says, ‘Most people don’t understand...