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David miliband to accept Camerons offer to coalesce with the coalition 0
arrghgarry 3 years
Blackpool renamed 'Blackpo0.1' in bid to become Britain's first decimal place 5
dicky37 3 years

[More metric mirth soon]...

UB40 Claim Musical Spray Lube Oil Award 0
mugwump 3 years
British prostitution facing hard times after announcement of Rooney injury 3
SingingHinny 3 years

Britain’s prostitution industry has been shaken to its knees by the news that an injured Wayne Rooney is expected to be out of action for three weeks. Rooney allegedly used the services of a...

Daily Express reveals newly found letters spell DiaNA 0
andhrimnir 3 years
Israel Palestine Talks 'Keep Covering Same Ground'. More Soon. 4
Ablative Fabsolute 3 years

More sooner or later...

Government cut backs finally affect the royals as Queen loses her rolls and has 0
Basil_B 3 years

to carry her own carpet around with her.(check out the link) ...

Modern way to a man's heart 'keyhole incisions between ribs' says top surgeon 2
QorbeQ 3 years
Need to fund that £750 a day habit? 2
ramblesnake 3 years

Kray Day Loans are here to help. We’ll give anyone up to £750 to buy their drug of choice they can no longer live without. Unlike other unscrupulous lenders, we give a full day, YES! a whole 24...

David Miliband "relieved" he'll finally get chance to run a pub in Abegavenny. 0
the coarse whisperer 3 years
Nick Parke demands royalties for Ed Wallace Miliband success 0
Basil_B 3 years

Parke's also looking carefully at the progress of Gromit aka Margaret Beckett...

David Miliband denies quitting front-bench for better throwing angle. 0
SingingHinny 3 years

David Miliband has denied quitting front-line politics so that he can throw stuff at his younger brother from the back benches. Mr. Miliband announced his decision to retire from the shadow cabinet...

Telegraph readers claim leaked letters are worth triple in Scrabble 1
Ian Searle 3 years
Blairite to Follow on to After Dinner Circuit. 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years

"What's the point of politics unless you can fill yer boots. This is the bit i've really been working for' said a Blairite practising a mid atlantic accent...

Man disappointed with 3D TV after discovering it was just a window. 0
Ian Searle 3 years

The man, who has asked not to be named, first had his suspicions aroused when the ‘technicians’ who installed it began knocking hold in his wall. However, he was assured that this was just to...

Actors 'concerned' over Sky Plus Festival of Theatre 0
Mrblacker 3 years

The actors union Equity says it has major worries over plans for a festival of plays sponsored by the satellite broadcaster Sky. Productions of [i]Waiting for Godot[/i], [i]The Caretaker[/i] and...

Legal Firms launch ‘£5.99 - DIY Super Injunction Kit’ for the man in the street! 13
Sharpehunter 3 years

The recent trend by Celebrities to secure Super Injunctions in a bid to prevent the media from printing often true, sometimes scurrilous, but generally entertaining and bizarre revelations against...

Commonwealth Games Opening and Closing Ceremonies combined ....... 6
Stan Laurel 3 years

Commonwealth Games Opening and Closing Ceremonies combined to save everyone the bother. There was immense relief last night when it was confirmed that the Commonwealth Games was be shortened to...

Ed reacts to brother's frontbench resignation: 'Catflap always open for David.' 0
pinxit 3 years
Monkees to provide security and song for Commonwealth Games.. 0
Iamthestig 3 years

Here we come, swingin', Dehli's streets,, We get the funniest looks from, Ev'ry one we meet., Hey, hey, we're the Monkees, And people say we monkey around., But we're too busy patrolling, The...

Monkees to provide security and song for Commonwealth Games.. 0
Iamthestig 3 years
Loser Quits. 1
Dun Dunkin 3 years

Today a loser said he was going to quit. "I've thought about it for a while now. Quitting looks the best option for me", he said...

Charity shop tat slick threatening Cornish coastline 0
Oxbridge 3 years

The pristine coast of North Cornwall, home to some of Britain's most beautiful scenery, faces a new menace tonight after at least 500,000 barrels of utter crap from charity shops leaked from an...

Punch Up In Pub After Ape 'Slur' 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years

A fight broke out after one man kept insisting to another that somewhere in his family history there were monkeys. After yelling 'No one calls me a ffing monkey' he lept up onto the bar and began...

Intelligence agencies uncovers Salvation Army plot to "reconstruct" Pakistan 0
thackaray 3 years

Intelligence agencies uncovers militant Salvation Army plot to "reconstruct" Pakistan Western Intelligence agencies have warned the public about an impending plot by the Salvation Army, to sow...

R4 Listeners stunned as Montague tells Ed Miliband 'Blow your nose man!' 11
pinxit 3 years

Or is it just me?...

Studies reveal planet of the apes nearer to happening than we think. 6
Basil_B 3 years

Findings made by an institute set up for studying primates based in Nigeria show that chimpanzee's will buck the trend of evolution and will overtake mankind as the most intelligent form of life on...

Ed Milliband resigns after Kinnock endorsement. 1
the coarse whisperer 3 years

"It was like being visited by the Ghost of Christmas Future", said leader...

Justin Beaver denys his range of lookalike dolls for teenage girls 6
arrghgarry 3 years

will have vibrating heads...

Israel and Palestine 'on same side' over disputed Moebius Strip 6
dicky37 3 years

[More soon]...