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Oceanographer confirms Moby Dick was a bleached whale 0
Dick Everyman 15.10.12 9:14pm
Dick Everyman
Kellogg demands DLT nickname change

Lawyers for the global cereal giant Kellogg have contacted Former Radio 1 DJ and asked him to desist from using his nickname.  "We suggest you adopt the name 'The Hairy Popular Breakfast Food," says...

nickb 15.10.12 8:52pm
Blue Peter's Shep accused of inappropriate sniffing

Shep, the beloved collie dog of Blue Peter star John Noakes, has been accused inappropriate sniffing of the TV show's young audiences. A devastated Noakes said 'We thought Shep was a good dog and...

antharrison 15.10.12 8:30pm
Spain, Greece and Italy declare 10 day national holiday to celebrate Nobel Prize 1
antharrison 15.10.12 8:18pm
Ryanair introduce "speedy exit" service as airliners are fitted with bomb doors

Cost cutting airline, Ryanair has introduced a new "speedy exit" service. For a £10 fee, passengers can elect to leave the plane up to an hour before regular passengers via a "sudden loss of floor"...

apepper 15.10.12 8:14pm
'Jimmy's relentless pumping woke me from my coma' recalls grateful patient 0
cinquecento 15.10.12 7:54pm
Please ignore! 2
Stan 15.10.12 7:50pm
Windsor woman claims she was groped by 'weird blonde haired Yorkshireman'

A well-known Windsor woman claims she was groped by a man resembling Jimmy Savile - although at the time of the incident she was brandishing a large ornamental sword. Now aged 86, the woman has a...

roybland 15.10.12 7:08pm
Typo results in Nobel Peace Prize going to EU not UAE

Embarrassed Nobel Peace Prize officials have admitted that the 2012 Award was inadvertently given to the EU (European Union) instead of the UEA (United Arab Emirates) due to a secretarial error. The...

Dick Everyman 15.10.12 7:04pm
Dick Everyman
Austrian Skydiver becomes first passenger to test Ryanair "Speedy-De-Boarding"

"Its great" said an exhausted Felix Baumgartener,, "I saved £5 on my fees, and another £1 because I didn't use the toilet" Baumgartener was speaking as he boarded his shuttle bus into the city...

moanygit 15.10.12 6:32pm
Lance Armstrong finds drug which fake lie detector results

Lance Armstrong has said that he intends to use lie-detector results prove to the world that he did not systematically dope during the record-breaking seven Tour de France victories. Armstrong has...

antharrison 15.10.12 6:23pm
Typo sees USDA strip Louis Armstrong of all cycling medals. 0
sigmund 15.10.12 6:00pm
MP slams calculator cutbacks at DfT as "accident waiting to happen"

The chairwoman of the Commons Transport Select Committee has described the calculator cutbacks that led to the West Coast franchise fiasco as "short term thinking at it's worst," and "an accident...

landofdopeandtories 15.10.12 5:56pm
Longleat Monkeys win concrete jungle construction bid 0
Squudge 15.10.12 5:38pm
Jubilant Baumgartner to attempt world’s longest muff-dive

After his record breaking freefall dive, adrenaline-junkie Felix Baumgartner will attempt to beat the current world record for the longest oral sex attempt on a partially-aroused human female. The...

Gary Stanton 15.10.12 5:15pm
Gary Stanton
ignore 0
Squudge 15.10.12 5:07pm
Banham wins contract to deliver BBC security brassiere

BBC Chairman, Lord Patten, has announced that Banham Alarms has been commissioned to develop a high-security brassiere for vulnerable newsreaders and presenters. Responding to revelations of a fifty...

15.10.12 4:39pm
Toddler in historic free fall from kitchen chair

Scientists and stunt fans held their breath as 3 year old Darryl Parkin completed a historic descent from a kitchen chair yesterday, in the front garden of his home in Northampton. "It was a...

nickb 15.10.12 4:38pm
Armstrong doping scandal; new investigation reveals he used a motorised tandem

more soon....

custard cream 15.10.12 4:38pm
custard cream
Disability charity, Scope, to merge with Savile charities: now called ‘Grope’... 0
Tripod 15.10.12 4:16pm
Scientists Baffled by Gillard's Masculine Pre-Echo

57 scientists at the University of Sydney have signed a petition for Julia Gillard, the Australian Prime Minister, to undergo a medical examination at their research centre to ascertain the source of...

MyWikiKeepsLeaking 15.10.12 3:42pm
24 hrs on, Roswell residents hear skyward scream of "Shhhhiiiiiittttttt...... " 1
charlies_hat 15.10.12 3:09pm
Nick Clegg's poll rating breaks freefall record. 0
JETFAB 15.10.12 2:31pm
Posh Berkshire man to wear Clan Cameron tartan to win over Scottish voters 0
simonjmr 15.10.12 2:24pm
Latest global warming scare 'just rubbish' insists penguin at Bermuda beach bar 0
Dick Everyman 15.10.12 2:13pm
Dick Everyman
Weymouth & Portland Tourism Campaign Launches With Concrete Jingle 0
Nowherefast 15.10.12 2:01pm
Territorial Army to be renamed "The Army" 4
Nails UK 15.10.12 1:41pm
Felix Baumgartner becomes first man to shit himself at Mach 1

more later...

virtuallywill 15.10.12 1:37pm
Hunters foiled by Badger's cunning Everton Mint disguise 0
Nowherefast 15.10.12 1:25pm
Record breaking Baumgartner thrown out of HMV 0
Psycadelic Squirrel 15.10.12 1:25pm
Psycadelic Squirrel