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World Cup boost to retail sales expected to end next Wednesday 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Bags to be put on CCTV cameras in Muslim areas to have slits for the lens 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
CAMRA-sponsored beer stunt 'an offputting thought' say Wimbledon ticket-holders 0
QorbeQ 3 years

Toothless, woolly jumpered weirdy-beardies, dressed in brown, covered in moss and twigs taking up four rows of centre court seats...

Phwoar! Luscious musician is as fit as a fiddle. 2
MrChigleysAunt 3 years
Boyle to direct 2012 Olympics opening ceremony 2
Scroat 3 years

Come on you superfit fucking wankers...

South African fans throw their vuvuzelas out of the pram after Uruguay defeat 0
Basil_B 3 years
Sugar turns down Big Issue seller for the new Apprentice show. 0
Basil_B 3 years

Apparently as he walked passed him at the audition, Lord Alan looked sheepishly at the floor before muttering a slightly embarrased ' no thanks mate'...

Catholic priests 'very keen' after call for young campanologists 0
QorbeQ 3 years

The Archbishop of Westminster has called for younger bell-ringers following claims that Britain's church bells could soon fall silent if their reduction continues unabated. Vincent Nichols, Head of...

Huge rabbit shows up for first days work at the Bank of England. 0
Basil_B 3 years

The rabbit is courtesy of chancellor George Osbourne who has sent it to demonstrate the largest buck passed in the history of buck passing in reference to his speech last night at Mansion House...

Tim Berners-Lee lashes out at “sloppy geeks” 0
MikeF 3 years

Sir Tim Berners-Lee, inventor of the World Wide Web, has launched a scathing attack on IT workers for the casual way in which they refer to his invention. At the recent Annual General Meeting of the...

White House states "new pooch, 'Comehereron', settling in nicely" ... 0
moonbeam 3 years
Isle of Wight introduces 7 day working week to cut retraining costs 0
andhrimnir 3 years
Almost one third of women in Britain "happy with lives" 0
Nick McCarr 3 years

In a boost to the self-esteem of women in Britain, up to one third of women in a recent survey admit to being happy with their lives. These women do not want to emigrate, get a new job, a new...

IPCC Gives Police Green Light on "Crusty Bashing" 0
Svendo 3 years
No hitch as couple ties knot 0
MrChigleysAunt 3 years
Crime hits 1 in 4 children - Police only hitting 1 in 10 0
Rorschach 3 years

Unless they're from Seattle, where it's 1 in 2...

BP confirm that paper-towel absorbtion only works with Crisp n' Dry. 0
MightyBlair 3 years

Concerns over fire force company to consider covering the Gulf of Mexico with a giant wet tea-towel...

South Africans fans stop blowing their own trumpets 0
Oxbridge 3 years
Venezuelan ambassador apologises for making strange noise at football match. 0
riesler 3 years
'Terror cameras' to be fitted with burkhas to monitor Birmingham Muslims 0
Scroat 3 years
British Tinnitus Association 'delighted' that everyone can hear the buzzing. 2
MightyBlair 3 years

Charity to champion 'Tinnitus Awareness Week' with sponsorship from the South African Vuvuzela Company...

'Adults want complex, disturbing TV' says comedy panel-show host Stephen Fry 4
QorbeQ 3 years
Wimbledon to introduce intimate body searches to enforce vuvuzela ban 1
Rorschach 3 years

"The Lawn Tennis Club would like to thank Ms Price for bringing this security loophole to our attention"...

HSBC 'sorry' after ATM advice slip tells women to 'lose weight, fatty'. 0
MightyBlair 3 years

Second such incident in a week for prominent bank, after man told to 'grow a pair of balls, you pansy'...

South Africa introduced to human rights by dutch beer company 0
4ty2 3 years

FIFA has to be congratulated on dealing with those threats under the illegal advertising act as the local population is likely to accept the fact that you have to pay a lot of dosh to the guys in...

'Fahrenheit 9/11' director addresses perplexed Scottish Parliament 0
QorbeQ 3 years

Moore soon...

Nick Clegg serious case review clears social workers 0
afternoonslow 3 years

Safeguarding Hapless MPs board finds Kirklees council staff could not have foreseen abduction by Tories Social workers could not have foreseen the abduction of Nick Clegg by the Tories, a case...

Dog 'devastated' by news that no longer man's best friend. 0
MightyBlair 3 years
World cup underdogs under intense pressure to deliver expected upset 1
Dumbnews 3 years
Statue of Jesus goes up in smoke: 'It wasn't an act of mine', says God 0
PluckyMunky 3 years

Insurers may have to pay out, after all, after God says: 'Don't look at me, thank you!'