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Cowell to launch new celeb talent show 'Car Crash TV'

Each week desperate celebs will be involved in automotive altercations in a bid to gain publicity and sympathy. As the series goes on the shunts will get more complicated with technical help provided...

MADJEZ 08.09.11 10:59pm
Slow rural broadband 'revenge for being held up by all those posh horsey types' 1
Runestone Cowboy 08.09.11 10:57pm
Alex Salmond to be drilled for oil to see if he's worth hanging on to for a bit. 0
Runestone Cowboy 08.09.11 6:16pm
Runestone Cowboy
Thieving politicians 'mainly in gangs' claims feral little turd, more soon 0
Runestone Cowboy 08.09.11 6:14pm
Runestone Cowboy
'Home owners kill indoors, soldiers kill outdoors' mouths defence lawyer 0
Runestone Cowboy 08.09.11 6:09pm
Runestone Cowboy
Cheese discovery course 'just an alarm clock and a stagnant bucket of milk', 0
Runestone Cowboy 08.09.11 5:57pm
Runestone Cowboy
Galliano to launch new range of designer Pork products. 0
08.09.11 5:52pm
Gay Times warns against giving blood instead of chocolates

The Gay Times is offering advice to its readers on how to give blood, and which occasions are best. 'Blood is a tricky present to give without causing offence' says the style section. 'Some people...

Runestone Cowboy 08.09.11 5:49pm
Runestone Cowboy
ITV Sport to continue explaining away goals rule in European games "forever"

Good news for newcomers to European football nights on ITV, it has been confirmed that their chief pundits will continue to explain the intricacies of the value of an away goal to their audience....

grottymonty 09.09.11 8:39am
Mothers' maiden names to be made more complicated in security clampdown

It is a question asked millions of times a day in call centres the world over. "What is your mother's maiden name?" All too often it is a name that can allow access to all manner of valuable and...

nickb 08.09.11 7:43pm
Wallace Simpson and Gromit movie opens to mixed reaction at Venice Festival

Could a film successfully combine the hilarious animated antics of Britain's troubled royal family, and the poignant story of a lovesick cheese obsessed inventor and his dog? Directed by Dame...

nickb 11.09.11 7:00pm
A TV sports presenter has been banned from presenting for not being drunk enough

A TV sports presenter has been banned from presenting for 19 months after pleading guilty to not drinking enough before she went on air. Geraldine Thompsett, who is a host for Sky Sports News, has...

simonjmr 08.09.11 3:57pm
Amanda Holden escapes from car crash, she's not a judge on this years X-Factor 1
Ian Searle 08.09.11 7:33pm
New archaeological find confirms Helen of Troy had a big jeroboam-shaped head 0
Qoxiivi 08.09.11 3:33pm
Childrens' songbooks pulped after "Big Cock Randy Mountain" error 1
nickb 08.09.11 3:36pm
Comment: Why my first four marriages are the ideal preparation for a fifth

If you’ve applied for a job and the company is weighing you up against the other candidates, what do they look for? Potential? A nice suit? A certain [i]je ne sais quoi[/i] they’re prepared to...

Genghis Cohen 08.09.11 5:45pm
mr blue
Saab owners will just have to be content with a Volvo next time. 1
Griffin 09.09.11 12:36pm
Future Of Premium Rate Phone-In Competitions Under Threat

It's being widely reported that Ofcom is finally about to move to stop the tawdry and shameful phone-in competitions that litter our TV screens everywhere. Even as recently as yesterday evening and...

Duff 08.09.11 5:02pm
Britisch Blood banks filing for Bankrupcy

following the sensitive application of equal right legislation as they cannot any more refuse the blood from homosexuals or from people with high risk sexual behaviour. Scientists came up with the...

4ty2 08.09.11 1:29pm
Waitrose deny racial stereotyping with new Scottish grocery service: 'Ocado Noo' 3
f0zz 08.09.11 4:58pm
Hallmark Cards launch "Happy 9.11!" range

More tasteful cards soon...

dvo4fun 09.09.11 10:00pm
The All New Jeni B
Emma Watson to finally put out

Millions of males celebrated today as Emma Watson announced her decision to finally put out to the country she’s been shamelessly flirting with for several years. The news comes as a welcome...

Qoxiivi 08.09.11 12:45pm
It really is that bad - Robert Peston released back on to the 6 o'clock news

It was confirmed yesterday that the UK economy really is in a state much worse than predicted by the Treasury earlier in the year as the BBC release annoying tosspot Robert Peston back on to our TV...

grottymonty 09.09.11 11:42am
Japanese PoW survivors back Andy Murray's refusal to play tennis in the wet

A group of second world war survivors from the Japanese "Death camps" in the Burmese jungle have united with Andy Murray and have urged US tennis officials to disallow playing whilst it remains "A...

antharrison 08.09.11 12:43pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Republican Presidential Debate Degenerates Into Beatboxing Competition 1
Textbook 08.09.11 12:31pm
Islamabad to be renamed Islamagood in push to improve the image of Islam


virtuallywill 10.09.11 9:47am
Coleen Rooney has unsightly lump removed - Wayne's whereabouts being sought. 0
08.09.11 11:49am
Honour Killings 'important part of our cultural heritage' says community leader

Expanded Version:NiB length. Iqbal Yusuf, a community representative, has spoken out about Honour Killings. "I couldn't get a paid job but do voluntary youth work instead. Being a 'detached worker'...

dvo4fun 08.09.11 11:36am
Return of Downturn Abbey confirms double dip recession says Economist... 0
ItsReevesy 08.09.11 11:34am
Gay blood donations showing higher Homoglobin levels than expected 0
charlies_hat 08.09.11 11:20am