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John Sentamu backs Catholic Archbishop - rumours of engagement "premature"

Archbishop of York, John Sentamu, has supported Archbishop Vincent Nichols in opposition to gay marriages. "We've worked very closely on this issue and it's become clear that there is something more...

apepper 12.03.12 4:17am
Husband sent valentine with 'Moon Pig' written on it wife tells divorce court. 0
MADJEZ 12.03.12 12:23am
Zumba : 'Just fucking aerobics' claims top scientist. 0
MADJEZ 12.03.12 12:20am
Kate Middleton 'still not pregnant', confirms shocked tabloids.

Shockwaves have reverberated across the UK media with the confirmation of the news that, despite nearly a year of marriage, Prince William and Kate Middleton are still yet to expect a child. [i]"To...

WatcherMark 11.03.12 10:31pm
Relief all round as G.I. child killer didn't burn a Koran 1
yussle 11.03.12 10:28pm
Computer hacker broke into abortion site to get addresses of promiscuous girls. 2
MADJEZ 11.03.12 9:15pm
Double Glazing Co closes as customers tell them they're 'just window shopping'

I bet you could see right through that one...

Perks 11.03.12 9:09pm
US claims Falklands after working out where it is on a map

US Cartographers at the Department of Defence claim to have finally worked out where the Falklands is. Going one step further they have now submitted their own sovereignty claim to the UN. "We...

tomholder 11.03.12 9:08pm
Man who caught disease from plastic bag realises it could have been a carrier 3
Smart Alex 11.03.12 9:05pm
Catholic Church fights to keep loveless, soulless marriages special. 1
Mandy Lifeboat 11.03.12 9:00pm
'Giving pep-talks to garden snakes' probably a symptom of Asp urgers syndrome 3
Username 11.03.12 7:33pm
Alcoholism cured in one trip to the doctors 4
medici2471 11.03.12 5:02pm
Cameron orders anger management for cross section of coalition MPs.

On hearing that a cross section of government MPs were displeased with coalition polices David Cameron has ordered that they are identified and given anger management treatment. 'I am convinced that...

weematt 11.03.12 4:07pm
Oasis to reform as Oasis tribute band 4
Mandy Lifeboat 11.03.12 12:21pm
Nails UK
Toilet roll sales soar after Kate pays visit

The British Toilet Paper industry got a welcome boost yesterday when the Duchess of Cambridge was spotted coming out of a supermarket lavatory with a piece of toilet paper stuck to one shoe....

Nails UK 11.03.12 12:00pm
Desparng edtors remove letter from alphabet to kll tdal wave of weak phone gags 2
cinquecento 11.03.12 11:05am
Hasbro launches new Action Man "Berzerker" outfit 0
Nails UK 11.03.12 10:49am
Nails UK
Punners despair as Apple launches jPhone 3
cinquecento 11.03.12 10:33am
pere floza
Toys R Us to introduce range of KiddieTazers for parents. More soon. 8
Al OPecia 11.03.12 10:31am
Al OPecia
Woman erroneously rescued by coastguard "not drowning but waving" 0
Nails UK 11.03.12 10:27am
Nails UK
Man who caught disease from large military ship thinks it was probably a carrier 0
Smart Alex 11.03.12 10:18am
Smart Alex
B&Q to enter healthcare market with DIY surgery kits

Released alongside a set of useful "How To" leaflets in a variety of languages...

Nails UK 11.03.12 10:12am
Nails UK
Shops blackmailed as man threatens to cross out suffocation warnings on bags 0
Smart Alex 11.03.12 10:06am
Smart Alex
Shock result as woman's ashes voted in as new Mayor of London

Boris Johnson last night said he was "shocked and astounded" at the news that the new Mayor of London was the late Mrs Doris Gruntly. Mrs Gruntly, an independent candidate from Tottenham, died last...

Nails UK 11.03.12 10:00am
Nails UK
US soldier guns down Afghan civilians "To save our busy Pilots the bother"

more later...

dvo4fun 11.03.12 9:37am
2 dead as pilot mishears instruction as 'land plane on brazilian hair strip' 1
Perks 11.03.12 8:05am
Mother delights grown-up children with stories of food bargains

Proving the saying "a penny saved is a story to be told", Redhill resident Mary Kennedy has been delighting her grown-up children with stories of special offers and food bargains every time they have...

bonjonelson 11.03.12 7:03am
Man who steals horse/donkey hybrids diagnosed with ass-burglars syndrome.

Inspired by Mr. Manley’s fine effort...

John Ffitch-Rucker 10.03.12 10:00pm
Sexually sublimated underwear manufacturer makes Freudian slip

(That's when you mean to say one thing but say your mother)...

beau-jolly 10.03.12 9:42pm
John Ffitch-Rucker
Scientists discover a parent 'made of money' growing on trees 0
Perks 10.03.12 7:13pm