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Negotiations to avoid teachers' strike collapse after everyone told: NO TALKING! 0
Ludicity 4 years
Scottish nationalists kidnap Andy Murray 1
Christopher Frost 4 years

The Wimbledon tennis championships were plunged into chaos today, after militant Scottish nationalists kidnapped Britain’s Andy Murray. Scottish Heroes for an Independent Tomorrow have claimed...

Politicians to be driven down side streets to avoid upsetting the public. 0
be reasonable 4 years
Chinese withdraw call for UK imports after Keith Chegwin announces tour. 0
MightyBlair 4 years
Honourable Member for Portaloo East held onto his seat until the end 0
ronseal 4 years
GuevaraUK 4 years

Glastonbury Police have issued an urgent,unreserved,apology concerning Dead Man in VIP toilets. They explain that in FACT it was Louis Walsh in state of stricture resulting from an attempt to get a...

Tories call in Joe the Plumber to fix broken Britain 1
Genghis Cohen 4 years

In a surprise move the Conservative Party has called on Joe the Plumber, hero of the 2008 US presidential election campaign, to help them repair Britain’s broken society. ‘It is only by...

Easily Offended Cinema-goers Union to stage walk-out 0
jp1885 4 years
Ministers rethink 'Crime Map' as spate of cock-and-balls appears across country 2
4 years

The much-vaunted 'crime map', a database that shows the locations of crimes across the UK, has become the victim of organised pranksters, it was revealed today. Following a decision to add the names...

Chinese Premier to raise issue of human rights after visit to Birmingham 1
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Cameron to get tough on Portaloos and the causes of Portaloos. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 4 years
PM pal passes in portaloo, Police preclude pharmaceuticals. 0
MADJEZ 4 years

[s]Poor[/s] More Soon...

High temperatures and bright sunshine lead to large fall in newsbiscuit subs 2
Vertically Challenged Giant 4 years
Dying in a rancid portaloo officially preferable to being lectured to by Bono 1
charlies_hat 4 years
Hacking suspect ‘has cough’ 1
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Culture Minister says UK to be 'New Tibet' 0
Dun Dunkin 4 years
Gove says paedophiles could help out in schools during teachers’ strike 0
roybland 4 years
Tech support companies slam school-leavers lack of sarcasm skills. 0
the coarse whisperer 4 years

A consortium of IT support call centres, computer and high street telephone retailers today called on the government to radically improve the smirking, sneering, eye-rolling and ironic intonation...

"Send my accountant your old receipts" Bono urges fans, in Tax Relief appeal 1
ronseal 4 years
Taliban issue new slogan T-shirts "Lose you head now, ask me how". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 4 years
al-Qaeda to rebrand as "Total Terrorism Management Solutions". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 4 years
Labour 'concerned' over Miliband's confusion about which party he leads 0
roybland 4 years

Leading Labour Party politicians are increasingly worried over Ed Miliband's inability to remember which party he leads.  ,  , The concern came after Miliband on Saturday mounted another attack...

Al Qaeda in 'midget' recruitment drive, as worlds tiniest aircraft is unveiled. 0
charlieworth 4 years


Study finds impact of psychiatrist's advice depends only on size of their bill 0
Dumbnews 4 years
Man who shagged the future Queen of England regrets the experience 4
roybland 4 years

A man who claims to have shagged the future Queen of England says his sex life has gone downhill ever since. 'I regret the experience,' says Jock Sloane (32), who was at the University of St Andrews...

Broad-shouldered Sri Lankans demolish England 0
Christopher Frost 4 years
'God hates sycophants', says Archbishop of Canterbury 1
Christopher Frost 4 years
Nations Children Unprepared for Dystopian Future 0
Fox100 4 years

In a stark warning to parents and children around the country, education secretary Michael Gove warned that the nations children are “woefully unprepared” for the dystopian future to come. In a...

'Biblical' storm forecast in New York 0
Christopher Frost 4 years
‘Changes needed’ say Labour MPs after Mili ordeal 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years