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Jocky Wilson put to rest in authentic Viking burial

Former darts world champion Jocky Wilson, who died last week, was today put to rest at sea in the traditional Viking fashion, strapped to a burning longboat surrounded with flaming barrels of tar,...

5
Gong of Fur 03.04.12 7:05am
dvo4fun
Francis Maude launches new "Fuel around me" app

The new app tells motorist if there is fuel within a 200 mile radius and if the petrol station has had delivery with the past two days. Developed by software house iSuck, it is the governments first...

0
Scronnyglonkle 03.04.12 6:55am
Scronnyglonkle
Semi-coherent headline...

Weak follow-up pun...

20
Vertically Challenged Giant 03.04.12 6:29am
Vertically Challenged Giant
leading website developer challenged on cleanliness of website animations..

told to use Flash liquid! (Flash = tool for creating website animations)...

8
Leopold Gasket 03.04.12 6:19am
nickb
American Fish Found To Be Very Fast

it has a zippy cod! (Zip code)...

0
Leopold Gasket 02.04.12 11:19pm
Leopold Gasket
Ed Balls shocked by dyslexic rhyming slang...

"Balls sounds nothing like dick-head" says politician, responding to claims cockney rhyming slang is dying out and new similes are being invented...

0
Bismarck 02.04.12 11:14pm
Bismarck
New US cop show stars the Old Etonian Police Department: West and Lewis OEPD

Dominic West and Damian Lewis are no ordinary maverick cops fighting crime in the only way they know how. Because they've been seconded from a new elite unit, known as the OEPD - the Old Etonian...

0
ronseal 02.04.12 11:09pm
ronseal
Michael Gove exposed as Damian Hirst Installation

"Formaldehyde cows were just the start" claims artist...

0
Bismarck 02.04.12 11:05pm
Bismarck
Bird Tweets He Is Not Happy

More to follow. (Birds actually tweet!)...

1
Leopold Gasket 02.04.12 10:49pm
brbinstead
Days of Wine and Roses Over for Mancini as United beat Blackburn

United's "two for the Road " at Blackburn seem to have sent Mancini's hopes of title going down the Blue " Moon River"., The prospect of playing out a "Charade" to the end season is not the "love...

1
Otis B Driftwood 02.04.12 10:37pm
dvo4fun
Soz, posted twice. 1
Iscariot 02.04.12 10:10pm
Ironduke
Tanker drivers demand "4 star talks" not "diesel do" 0
Iscariot 02.04.12 9:13pm
Iscariot
Government to install David Cameron telescreens in every home

The British public have expressed delight at plans to introduce 24-hour surveillance telescreens into their homes that will beam out the massive face of David Cameron. ‘We were planning to...

7
Ludicity 02.04.12 8:55pm
Iscariot
Banksy artwork bankrupts collector

Art collector Julian Scrivens was initially ecstatic when he placed the winning bid for a piece of work by the reclusive artist “Banksy”, however the true cost of the work may leave him...

6
beau-jolly 02.04.12 7:57pm
Perks
Bird Stands Firm over Twitter Ban

More to follow...

6
GillsImp 02.04.12 7:24pm
Golgo13
Blackburn v Man Utd game to go ahead despite Gael Givet ankle injury

The football family was rocked again today with the news that Blackburn fullback Gael Givet will not be available for tonight's game, as his ankle injury has failed to clear up. His manager Steve...

5
grottymonty 02.04.12 6:51pm
grottymonty
Patagonians claim Argentina for Wales

In a bold move today Patagonian Scrap Merchants seized the Bocca Juniors Stadium in Buenos Aires and claimed it for Wales, demading that Argentina relinquish its soveriegn claims over itself to the...

0
Scronnyglonkle 02.04.12 6:12pm
Scronnyglonkle
Flasher Finally Exposed

He Lives in America and has a Zip Code...

4
GillsImp 02.04.12 5:33pm
Perks
Priest claims he misunderstood the meaning of 'Flash Memory' stick 1
charlies_hat 02.04.12 5:13pm
Synthetic Biololgist sacked for creating Nylon arms.

A leading Synthetic Biologist was sacked from his role at leading research company Ciba Geebies for what one director described as "Buggering About" . Instead of finding potential cures for Malaria...

4
Scronnyglonkle 02.04.12 4:43pm
Scronnyglonkle
Flock of Routemaster buses forming on South Downs - 2

Around 200 Routemaster buses have been seen congregating outside Ditchling in the South Downs National Park, with local police warning people to avoid the area unless absolutely necessary....

32
grumblechops 02.04.12 4:25pm
dvo4fun
leading fabric conditioner manufacturer challenges nearby development

Apparently is was too close for Comfort...

21
Theodore Sprangshaft 02.04.12 3:52pm
beau-jolly
Prime Minister Fails to take Successful Picture while on holiday

David forgot to turn the Camera on...

0
GillsImp 02.04.12 3:04pm
GillsImp
Panic outside Francis Maude's home as angry drivers form queues to fill him in. 3
Ian Searle 02.04.12 1:57pm
dvo4fun
As GCHQ gain right to monitor email, Royal Mail say 'we've been at it for years'

Following on from the decision by the government to give GCHQ the power to monitor your web use and open your emails, the Royal Mail has announced they have been running a similar system for years. ...

8
Perks 02.04.12 1:30pm
dvo4fun
Trinny and Susannah trapped on yacht; refuse to send up flairs

More follows...

0
apepper 02.04.12 1:06pm
apepper
Inventor of the year plans to develop even smaller units of time. 2
weematt 02.04.12 1:00pm
bonjonelson
Titanic Movie set to become a musical, dancing on ice set to be performed soon.. 0
wilkieone 02.04.12 12:22pm
wilkieone
Liverpool Players to Debate “New Philosophy”

Liverpool manager Kenny Dalglish, disappointed by his team’s recent poor form,, has arranged a seminar for the players to discuss their need for a “new philosophy”. His brow creased in a...

6
Iggy Pop-Barker 02.04.12 11:54am
Midfield Diamond
FSA to investigate misuse of Derivatives on statirical website 0
3zincold 02.04.12 11:35am
3zincold