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Green Party appoint Alan Titchmarsh as Head of Border Controls 0
Underconstruction 05.04.12 7:47am
Underconstruction
Polish Newsbiscuit Launched by Rupert Murdoch's son

Much more to follow...

0
Scronnyglonkle 05.04.12 7:04am
Scronnyglonkle
Poor Al-Qaeda leader turns self in to collect lucrative bounty 0
Dumbnews 05.04.12 4:53am
Dumbnews
Special Forces personnel drafted in to cover for striking call-centre staff

Two elite batallions of SAS soldiers have been secretly recruited to ensure that calls to vacuum cleaner manufacturers Dyson's customer enquiry line in Derby are dealt with on time., Head of...

4
Underconstruction 05.04.12 12:02am
RickH
Bond pulled from Olympic promo in “license to kill” expiry blunder

Red-faced London 2012 officials have withdrawn James Bond from an Olympic promo at Buckingham Palace after revelations that his “license to kill” expired in 1995, meaning he has technically...

9
Yikes 04.04.12 10:39pm
Panda's keepers to try WKD next. 'Works with teenage girls' says expert. 0
MADJEZ 04.04.12 9:50pm
MADJEZ
Falklands 2 Starring Sean Penn

The ex husband of Pop animal Madonna has announced at a sparse but highly excitable press conference in Buenos Aires the title of his new film., Falklands 2 will see Penn take the lead role as Major...

0
don rubber 04.04.12 9:40pm
don rubber
Man stores self in self-storage unit 0
nickb 04.04.12 9:00pm
nickb
Tiger Woods firms as Masters favourite after bedding 15 women in lead-up week

After over two years in the golfing wilderness, Tiger Wood’s chances look bright at Augusta National this weekend after reports that he has slept with 15 women over the last week. A Ladbrokes...

0
Yikes 04.04.12 8:36pm
Yikes
London Mayor admits that use of expletives in lift was wrong on every level 6
Underconstruction 04.04.12 8:24pm
Perks
Heartless thief not expected to live 0
Underconstruction 04.04.12 7:39pm
Underconstruction
14 year old Forest of Dean boy in porn video criticised for being a late starter 1
simonjmr 04.04.12 7:35pm
Underconstruction
Government plans to fund NHS by bag packing in Sainsburys. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 04.04.12 6:51pm
dominic_mcg
Forget Thatcher, Reagan, Gorbachev - Global Warming ended the Cold War...

Forget Thatcher, Reagan, Gorbachev - Global Warming ended the Cold War...

0
Theoldcrow 04.04.12 6:46pm
Theoldcrow
Secret committee about to make decision on UK name change...

Sources close to the government have revealed that an announcement will be made early next week regarding the re-naming of the UK should Scotland vote for independence. For the past three months a...

5
Theoldcrow 04.04.12 6:24pm
Theoldcrow
Students team up with TUC

In response to increased tuition fees students are forced to eat small square cheesy biscuits...

4
beau-jolly 04.04.12 6:16pm
nickb
Ken, Boris f*ck in f*cking lift

"It was when Ken said something about managing an election that it all got very out of hand" said Jenny Green of the Jones Party. Meanwhile, fresh from his appearance in the Up the Polls and Round...

0
nickb 04.04.12 5:57pm
nickb
RAF Helicopters rescue government ministers from sinking ship 1
Scronnyglonkle 04.04.12 5:43pm
Tomfinger
Shukman: Science to become 32% more marvellous by 2022. Can we keep up?

Being a BBC Science Correspondent is a bit like walking up a down escalator. Or painting the Forth Bridge. In their time, both were marvels of scientific knowhow. Now, we take them for granted. ...

0
nickb 04.04.12 5:36pm
nickb
ZooKeepers to review breeding programme after Pandas are caught 'dogging'

Edinburgh Zoo are to conduct a 'shoot and branch' review of it's Panda breeding programme, following the late night arrest of it's breeding pair in a car-park in a Glasgow suburb., Passing motorists...

1
Underconstruction 04.04.12 4:33pm
Driver of car with 576k mileage confident of finding parking space ‘real soon' 0
Duncan Biscuit 04.04.12 3:50pm
Duncan Biscuit
Forecast of Easter airport misery cheers millions unable to afford a break 0
Duncan Biscuit 04.04.12 3:49pm
Duncan Biscuit
Yahoo crashes its own server after sending 2,000 redundancy emails 0
Duncan Biscuit 04.04.12 3:49pm
Duncan Biscuit
Big Society Bank launched with £600m, less directors’ bonuses 0
Duncan Biscuit 04.04.12 3:48pm
Duncan Biscuit
North Korean soccer match abandoned after keeper is hit by missile

more to follow...

0
Underconstruction 04.04.12 3:43pm
Underconstruction
Airport staff shortage overcome - baggage handling has crooks to spare 0
weematt 04.04.12 3:36pm
weematt
Ferrero launches Unkinder Surprise; an easter egg with semtex toy. 0
wallster 04.04.12 3:36pm
wallster
Zoo swaps pandas’ water for Buckfast before breeding window closes completely

Keepers at Edinburgh zoo have resorted to radical measures in their quest to successfully breed the giant pandas Yang Guang and Tian Tian, having replaced the animals’ water supply with Buckfast in...

3
grumblechops 04.04.12 3:27pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Murdoch "its bad when we hack email" but OK when Cameron sanctions it 0
simonjmr 04.04.12 3:20pm
simonjmr
Government to Introduce 24 Hour funerals during Olympics 0
Scronnyglonkle 04.04.12 3:01pm
Scronnyglonkle