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Queen "Lacks Irish Ancestors" 1
Titus 4 years

The Queen's advisors admitted last night that they had "missed a trick" and that President Obama had "pulled a bigger crowd" with his gig in Ireland because of his loudly proclaimed Irish ancestry....

Irish Plane tragedy 7
pumpernickle 4 years

After a two seat plane crashed into a graveyard,Irish rescue services say they have recovered one hundred and thirty eight bodies.Taoiseach to visit scene of tragedy later...

'Greek mythology made-up when we were pissed' admits Oxford professor 4
antharrison 4 years

Ronald Vickers, a Professor of Classics at Oxford University, has admitted that the entire subject of Greek Mythology was invented by a group of drunken lecturers in the 1820s. 'I've found learned...

Man hospitalised over suspected CAPS LOCK rage. 0
Le Creuset Fiend 4 years

A man was last night recovering in hospital after what doctors have described as an "horrific and sustained attack" at his place of work. It is understood that Steve Tillsley, 29, arrived yesterday...

Shock as MP works out how to use twitter 0
TerribleTim 4 years
World leader says "Don't you know who i am?" 0
Dun Dunkin 4 years

"Yes. A rapist", replies the maid...

Gordon Brown to Start His Own IMF 0
Deimos 4 years

Ex-Prime Minister Brown’s candidacy for the position of MD of the IMF suffered a setback earlier today as the UK government put their support behind the French candidate. Now Mr. Brown has...

Imogen Thomas granted Counter Injunction under 'restraint of trade' legislation 5
Ironduke 4 years

Moderate Welsh totty Imogen Thomas has been granted a Counter Injunction, after her lawyers argued that banning the media reporting of her romps from bed to bed of the rich and pedally-gifted...

100 miles per hour winds batter Scotland: Scotland batters 100 meals per minute 0
4 years
Woman who sued plastic surgeon laughing on the other side of her face 1
virtuallywill 4 years

no more comment later...

"Some Gaffes Less Serious Than Others" 0
Titus 4 years

Home secretary Ken Clarke has denied claiming that some gaffes are "less serious"...

S*p*r *njunct**n 0
Titus 4 years

The Grim Reaper (sorry, the G*** R*****) has taken out a super-injunction to prevent further revelations of the date of the End of the World...

Deleted as it's not as good as waylandsmithy's post 0
Tammy Flugh 4 years
Man who expressed surprise at Giggs injunction 'faces cruel chants' 0
4 years

An estate agent in Slough faces a barrage of cruel taunts and chants tomorrow, after reacting with surprise at the disclosure of Ryan Giggs' super-injunction. "It appears I'm the last person in the...

Ryan Giggs faces jail after identifying John Hemming as an MP. more soon 0
Mrblacker 4 years
Wild Twitter speculation forces Ronnie Biggs into superinjunction denial. 1
pinxit 4 years
Bono outraged as he's not included on Obama tour schedule 1
Basil_B 4 years
Feminist film reviewer sacked for failing to make comparisons with vagina 7
4 years

Germaine Stott, radical feminist and film critic, apologised unreservedly for her performance at this year's Cannes film festival. She was sacked by a media magazine after her reviews failed to...

OFT to investigate North London gang war 1
Vertically Challenged Giant 4 years

The Office of Fair Trading is understood to be investigating the recent hostile takeover by the Tottenham Boys of a patch previously controlled by rival gang the Bombarcilar. When 5 known members of...

Stray parrot causes chaos at sheepdog trial 0
QorbeQ 4 years
Birmingham City ask Chris Huhne if they can have his points 2
Oxbridge 4 years
Gruniad issues a correction... 0
DiY 4 years

Our headline [i]"Former Miss Wales was gigging for it"[/i] should have read [i]"Former Miss Wales was gagging for it"[/i]...

Those unpublished headlines in full 1
Des Custard 4 years

Ryan Giggs ate my Hamster, claims Mrs Slocombe, Jemima ate my Pussy, claims Ms Thomas, Freddy Starr ate my Rarebit, claims Clarkson...

Icelandic smoking ban extended to include volcanoes 0
suepersonic 4 years
Lord Prescott to mount legal challenge, and his Secretary 1
virtuallywill 4 years

much more later...

24 hour bug reports in sick due to stress caused by heavy work schedule 0
Basil_B 4 years

The bug commonly known as the 24 hour bug did not report into work today due to feeling generally stressed out from being over worked., 'I can't take anymore' said the bug 'i've had to deal with...

Big Society was Camping's idea, claims Cameron 0
butagirl 4 years
Only Camping raptured, wants to come back.. 0
pere floza 4 years
Super Injunctions unfair says P.M ***** ******* 0
virtuallywill 4 years

More L***r...

Twitter Storm hits England - no fatalities 0
bonjonelson 4 years