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Get rid of your dirty old booze 4
eiraed 3 years

A funny online amnesty and spoof ‘charity’ video can be found at, If you join the 'amnesty' and take pics of you throwing out your mouldy old booze you can be rewarded...

Talented animals world in mourning again as Neville the Clairvoyent Horse dies. 0
3 years

News has just reached us that the popular animal celebrity Neville the Clairvoyant Horse has been found dead in his stables in Exeter. Neville grew to fame in the last 7 months when he succesfully...

Austria mistakenly vilified as the birthplace of Austerity... 0
deskpilot3 3 years
Baked bean consumption balmed for Manchester explosion 4
simonjmr 3 years
Order a printer cartridge, get a printer for free from Dixons of Sana'a Yemen 0
wwwiz 3 years

"We invite our Western friends to participate in our blowout printer sale," says Ibrahim al-Asir, manager of the Dixons of Sana'a Yemen electronics store. "Our High Street store is overstocked and...

Explosion in Salford Causes Thousands of Pounds Worth of Improvements. 0
De-scribe 3 years
Next generation Facebook will update profiles from user’s own thoughts 0
JayGee 3 years

Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg has today announced a revolution in social networking with the release of Facebook Realtime. The new system will update profiles automatically by taking thoughts from...

UPS new International Expedited Delivery launch backfires 0
Erlang 3 years

Ad agency admits to publicity blunder at launch of IED service. Late nights, poor taste and large quanities of recreational drugs to blame says product manager. "In hindsight I guess it's not that...

Chef can't prove actual French Onions used in soup 0
simonjmr 3 years
UK and French plan new clear treat........... 0
3 years

Glacier mints to be replaced...

No Iraqis left to kill, survey finds 0
rickwestwell 3 years

Following this week's attack on a church leaving 52 people dead, a survey has revealed the shocking fact that there are now actually no Iraqis left to murder. "It's obviously a few years since our...

Exmoor gunman reveals shot stag 'definitely NOT Britain's largest mammal' 1
Mr Target 3 years

Ahmed Mohammed Aziz, named as the gunman who shot the stag thought to be the Exmoor Emperor, has made contact with the media in order to send a clear message that it could not in fact have been...

Steven Fry is deluded says Yasmin Alibhai-Brown while working for the Daily Mail 0
ronseal 3 years
British & French treaty - 'When do we start sharing the wives?' asks Cameron. 3
flossie mcjava 3 years
Women just don't like sex, says big unhappy depressive virgin 0
ronseal 3 years
Fart-lighting competition in Irlam backfires 0
Sinnick 3 years
UK and France agree to ‘timeshare’ navy. 1
Fin Robertson 3 years

The UK government will today sign an historic armed forces treaty with France, which will see both countries sharing the same navy. Britain will have the navy Monday to Wednesday lunchtime, France...

Elephant smuggler caught by simple question: 1
ramblesnake 3 years

"Did you pack this trunk yourself sir?"...

Inmates are due to get own keys as part of latest prison reform. 0
flossie mcjava 3 years
PostOffice to increase revenue by running w'end raves in disused sorting offices 0
ItsReevesy 3 years

Of course you'll still have to spend hours queuing to get in behind confused pensioners...

Manchester knocking shop blown up. Colleen Rooney seen running from the site 0
Basil_B 3 years
Explosion in Irlam 2
Sinnick 3 years

Before and after photos demonstrate that less damage was caused than expected, during this morning's gas explosion in Irlam, Greater Manchester: Before:,...

French object to early surrender penalty in joint defence treaty 3
simonjmr 3 years
US raises terror threat level to 'magenta' 1
exigo 3 years
UK and France Outline Plans to Share Defence Resources 0
custard cream 3 years

Prime Minister David Cameron and President Nicolas Sarkozy will today outline plans, at their London summit, to make better use of defence resources. Mr Cameron confirmed the following practical...

Does it really? and Does it fuck! 3
ramblesnake 3 years

To be added to "Does exactly what it says on the tin" slogan for Ronseal "one coat" radiator paint, (not very brilliant white)...

New Airport Security Advisory System Launched 3
IABP 3 years

Black - Severe risk of large exploding parcels, Magenta - High risk of small exploding packages, Cyan - Elevated significant risk of exploding footwear, Yellow - Guarded risk of liquid explosives,...

Convicts demand right to elect own MPs 0
Des Custard 3 years

Following the landmark decision to give prisoners the vote, representatives of the prison community are now demanding their own members of parliament. Ron ‘Chopper’ Harris (no relation, he...

Record pumpkin sales herald the end of the recession, says Osborne 5
StoopyDeGunt 3 years

A surge in pumpkin sales, up 4000 per cent on the previous month, could herald the beginning of the end of the recession and the dawn of a new age, according to chancellor George Osborne. "The boom...

Woman attacks MP as protest against illegal violence 1
Duncan Biscuit 3 years