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Maths teacher tries to prove that 30 into 15 will go after Geography secondment. 0
fernandomando 30.09.12 11:13pm
Dear Jim, could you fix my hymen.

More allegations against dead stars later...

MADJEZ 30.09.12 9:56pm
Missing Schoolgirl seeks anonymity

Megan Stammers today announced that she'd applied to change her surname by deed poll. Although on reflection she said that swapping "Stammers" for "Swallows" could be perceived as a retrograde step...

misterjingles 30.09.12 8:29pm
Greenland to host Winter Olympics

The International Olympic Committee (IOC) today announced that Greenland has been successful in securing the 2020 Winter Olympics. Jacqes Rogge, the president of the IOC said ‘Greenland has...

Alfred Noakes 30.09.12 8:13pm
Alfred Noakes
Katie Price and Robert Downey Jr's love child makes it to X-Factor live show 0
30.09.12 7:59pm
Clegg: coalition is ‘a worthwhile exercise’

In an exclusive frank interview given to both Andrew Marr and Dermot Murnaghan about the virtues of marriage, Nick Clegg said the Tory-LibDem marriage is a worthwhile exercise because it proves...

Reg Herring 30.09.12 6:52pm
Reg Herring
George Michael cancels Australian tour dates for fear of going down under 0
Queen of Tarts 30.09.12 5:34pm
Queen of Tarts
Esther Ranzten says her husband would be shocked that she hadn`t mentioned his

name in the last 5 minutes...

burnmybridges 30.09.12 4:00pm
Maths teacher admits: "Thirty into fifteen doesn't go after all" 1
AReader 30.09.12 3:44pm
Childhood victim,now Harrogate councillor says Jim fingered it for me

Goodness Gracious...

burnmybridges 30.09.12 3:43pm
Mars images 'show old streambed'

virtuallywill 30.09.12 2:42pm
Sneezy, Sleepy, Dopey, Doc, Happy, Bashful and Grumpy all make the short list 1
Ian Searle 30.09.12 1:58pm
Pepper Pot Invasion

Great Britain has been declared in a state of Terror Alert Magenta. Dr Peter Corn speaks of the psychology of the conspiring, confabulating Common Lesser Spotted pepper pot. Undercover footage from...

FeelTheatre 30.09.12 12:21pm
Matthew Corbett follows Rowling into adult market with Sooty, Sue and Sweep Too 6
DustyBinLaden 30.09.12 10:49am
Spud U Like team up with The North Face for a more expensive jacket potato

The high street take-away potato filler ‘Spud U Like’ has announced it is to go into partnership with ‘The North Face’ to offer it’s customers ‘a more expensive jacket potato‘. The new...

Perks 30.09.12 9:08am
Corporate executives welcome news that liking football no longer compulsory

Fashion followers were cock a hoop last night as it emerged that football has finally gone 'off trend'. A new report by the much respected Association of Corporate Yesmen that says football has been...

ronseal 30.09.12 7:52am
Paperboy phones in sick with a bad case of origami... 1
Tripod 30.09.12 7:05am
Spirit world praises Gove's new UK-based English Baccalaureate: the EB-GB 0
DustyBinLaden 30.09.12 6:34am
Britain braces itself for deluge of French top-rate-tax refugees

Security was being stepped up at first class lounges across Britain’s airports following the announcement of a new 75% tax rate for French millionaires. Meanwhile in France, thousands of...

Sir Lupus 29.09.12 10:20pm
Sir Lupus
Thousands join wanker parade in Belfast

Thousands of young men have decided to throw away their normal reserved attitude and admit that they are a wanker by joining in the wanker's parade in Belfast today. The wanker's parade is held...

BaronVonNoodle 29.09.12 9:45pm
Newlyweds haunted by Earth Wind and Fire hit from 1978.

A couple who married on the 21st September are already 'cheesed off' with the disco funk hit September by Earth Wind and Fire - just one week after tying the knot. "The DJ played it at our wedding...

Boutros 29.09.12 9:19pm
Sir Lupus
Secret Memo: Major Oil Companies are “Satisfied with progress on global warming”

A confidential report, leaked following a private meeting between the executives of the world’s major oil companies, shows that they are happy with their achievements in modifying the earth’s...

robertsonal 29.09.12 8:54pm
Steve Kean quits Blackburn to take less demanding job herding cats... 1
Tripod 29.09.12 8:29pm
GCSE maths in moral decline admits OFSTED

OFSTED has announced the introduction of a compulsory module on religious and moral instruction, to be immediately bolted onto the GCSE mathematics curriculum. Reacting to criticism that mathematics...

29.09.12 8:23pm
Lifes too short to use apostrophes, suggests survey 6
jamsieoconnor 29.09.12 8:15pm
Maths teacher blames Apple Maps for ending up in France. More soon. 2
dominic_mcg 29.09.12 7:26pm
Wife sells husband on BBC's Bargain Hunt

Daphne Hayes, a 47 year old woman from Stockport, has become the first person to successfully sell her husband on the BBC programme, Bargain Hunt. 'I had the idea after watching the programme and...

antharrison 29.09.12 7:18pm
Dyslexics march to Belfast convent. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 29.09.12 5:18pm
If Only.........

LibDems once again win another election on that horizontal island called Great Britain...

Jesse Bigg 29.09.12 5:00pm
Martin Shuttlecock
Head of Ofsted praises Jeremy Forrest for ‘going the extra mile’

The Chief Inspector of Schools in England and Wales, Sir Michael Wilshaw, has said that maths teacher Jeremy Forrest is exactly the type of best-in-class teacher he was referring to when he made his...

DustyBinLaden 29.09.12 2:56pm