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London braces for the opening of the 2012 Paralytic Olympics

Competitors from all over the world are converging on London as the 2012 Paralytic Games gets into full swing. With competition tight for the medals, the paraletes have been in top training for this...

JohnA 23.07.12 10:45am
After Le tour win, Tony Blair calls for Tony Blair to light Olympic cauldron 0
simonjmr 23.07.12 10:28am
After a great Sunday for British sport, John Terry seen sporting new haircut

You can see it [url=]here[/url]...

pinxit 23.07.12 9:29am
Bradley Wiggins in cross-bar scandal

ah, the old jokes ....

Sinnick 23.07.12 8:56am
Wiggins bicycle "Felt left out of Tour victory celebration"

Amid the champagne-popping and jubilant celebrations on the Champs Elysees yesterday one individual felt a frisson of bitterness - Bradley Wiggins' bicycle. "Let's face it, we bikes do half the...

Drylaw 23.07.12 8:37am
Britain's Olympians aim for gold after demotivational speech by office worker

Britain’s Olympic hopefuls are even more determined to justify their selection, after a long and rambling speech by an office worker described the misery of a more mundane existence. Dave Simister...

23.07.12 8:28am
Wiggins to miss Olympics due to Le Tour lap of honour 5
custard cream 23.07.12 8:27am
Tour de France delivery recipient unhappy with contents

The intended recipient of this year’s round France courier race has refused to sign for his parcel. The conclusion of the annual Gallic cycle marathon following 3 weeks of gruelling competition...

pitflaps 23.07.12 8:25am
The Empire Backs Strike : evil henchmen vote for walk out during Olympics 0
charlies_hat 23.07.12 7:59am
Seamus O'Lympic in brand infringement battle with LOCOG

More soon, to be sure. And the top of the morning to you...

Scroat 23.07.12 7:18am
John Terry 'over the moon' to have won Tour De France 1
Psycadelic Squirrel 23.07.12 7:10am
“Pull the udder one” as cows join in dispute over milk prices

Protests over the price paid by supermarkets to milk suppliers spread today as cows staged a series of lightening strikes. Around the country herds of cows held back their milk claiming poor rewards...

Mandy Lifeboat 23.07.12 6:33am
Mandy Lifeboat
Population of Newcastle-upon-Tyne to be deported "to balance the books". 0
Al OPecia 23.07.12 6:11am
Al OPecia
Obama To Colorado Mourners: "I'm Sorry, I Really Am, But I Got Shit To Do"

American president Barack Obama briefly flew to Colorado today to make a speech addressing the tragic massacre of 12 cinema goers who had attended a premiere screening of the new Batman films., Full...

Textbook 23.07.12 5:14am
Halfords to sell new bikes with part exchange of tennis rackets.

more sporting bandwagon soon...

Perks 23.07.12 5:03am
Coe asks Bill and Ben to write Locogblog 0
nickb 22.07.12 10:43pm
Serious Fraud Office find giant mattress floating off coast of Cayman Islands. 1
Al OPecia 22.07.12 10:36pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
London Olympics cancelled out of respect as man gets fifth divorce 0
kga6 22.07.12 9:24pm
‘Gibberish’ rail poster was ‘from the English yours faithfully reproductive’

Rail bosses have defended a series of Arabic warning posters that made little sense, claiming they were translated correctly from the original gibberish. Experts had complained that the posters were...

22.07.12 9:19pm
G4S Boss Nick Buckles Admits His Mullet Is `Humiliating Shambles’

[i]Private security company set to lose £50m from £284m Olympics contract after admitting it cannot supply enough security personnel with decent haircuts.[/i] The G4S chief executive, Nick...

tom pride 22.07.12 9:06pm
Ornithologist surprised and delighted by advance media interest in his new book

Ornithologist Robin C. Gull admitted yesterday that he has been amazed at the amount of pre-release interest shown in his new book about the feeding habits of garden birds, "Tits Like Coconuts". ...

Smart Alex 22.07.12 8:14pm
Embarrassment as dinosaur remains are found in grounds of Creationist School. 5
dominic_mcg 22.07.12 7:22pm

How about an office door with the sign G4S Planning Depar, tment...

Actual Size 22.07.12 7:14pm
"It's great to win for Britain" says Belgium born, half Australian Wiggins 4
custard cream 22.07.12 6:32pm
custard cream
Accrington Stanley FC support farmers in milk price protest 2
charlies_hat 22.07.12 2:27pm
Cooper Tank "still authentic Mini", claim BMW

BMW has denied that its latest Mini, the 64 ton fully-armed Cooper Tank unveiled yesterday, “pushes the whole heritage brand concept a bit too far”. 'Yes, it's a massive deadly weapon,' said...

NewSuburbanDad 22.07.12 12:29pm
Bradley Wiggins disqualified after testing positive for roast beef. 0
godly1966 22.07.12 9:06am
Germany: "Idea circumcision responsible for loss of foresight"

German rationals have slammed idea circumcision this week after Angela Merkel moved to oppose the court imposed ban. With the mutilation of the critical thinking of today's youth by an uninspired...

kga6 22.07.12 8:53am
Wonga aquire rival firm 0
button 22.07.12 7:58am
Nohibition Begins Today

JOB LOSSES FEARED AS INTERNATIONAL BUSINESS CLOSES ITS BRITISH OPERATIONS By Roving Reporter Graham Smith 17 October 2013 The International drugs cartel Prohibition has announced massive cutbacks...

22.07.12 6:49am