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Harman in display of homophobia as she demands a straight budget 0
andhrimnir 3 years
Top US general sacked for fighting war with one armed tied behind his back 0
StoopyDeGunt 3 years

America's top general has been accused of not taking the Afghan conflict seriously enough, after he admitted in an interview that he was fighting the goddamn war with one arm tied behind his back.,...

Sidebottom saved from papier mache coffin following Facebook campaign 0
andhrimnir 3 years
Gary Lineker condemns lack of crisp passing 0
antharrison 3 years
The One Show’s sofa leaves BBC for its own peak time programme on ITV 5
Stan Laurel 3 years

The BBC was struck a further devastating blow yesterday with the announcement that the sofa from their hit early evening programme ‘The One Show’ had accepted a ‘lucrative offer’ from bitter...

Croydon fishmonger has dark night of the sole 0
PluckyMunky 3 years
England fans already gathering on the streets of Wootton Bassett 6
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Rotten fruit sales increase in preparation of England early return. 2
Basil_B 3 years

Fruit sellers around Heathrow have had a particular good time in recent days...

Tension mounts over allegations that Terry tried to knob Capello's wife. 0
MightyBlair 3 years
George Osborne limits England to 4 goals today 1
virtuallywill 3 years
England vs Slovenia to be shown on Comedy channel in Scotland 0
virtuallywill 3 years

after Only fools and carthorses...

Newly discovered Black and White chemical named Pandamonium 1
Iamthestig 3 years
Bradford prostitutes promise business as usual after serial killer capture 1
Darkbill 2.0 3 years

Prostitutes in Bradford have today assured their clients - or ‘johns’ as they are sometimes known – that they have returned to normal levels of exploitation and desperation, after the capture...

Linguists at CERN discover definite particle 1
andhrimnir 3 years
23 men set to lose extradition battle from South Africa 0
simonjmr 3 years
Government to teach poor people to catch their own food 6
red 3 years

Despite assurances from George Osborne that he would tell it straight in his emergency budget, a clause has emerged in the Red Book which outlines plans for the training of dole-scroungers in the...

Sebastian Coe unveils the Umbrellzela in time for the 2012 Olympics 0
Iamthestig 3 years
Mick Jagger criticised for comments in Military Policeman magazine 0
antharrison 3 years
Ginger dwarf found in Fleet Street pub 2
Scroat 3 years

Who put her up to it? More soon...

French Football team devote crushing world cup exit to Irish 0
Iamthestig 3 years

"We could not have been eliminated in a more humiliating way" said captain Thierry Henry when asked about the teams act of sacrifice...

Freudian Slip as Capello says he backs 'impotent' Terry 0
intheworkplace 3 years

In England's final preparation for the stiff test against Slovenia later today it emerges that John Terry is an "impotent player". Widespread media coverage suggests once again the former captain...

Coalition failing - look at the sports results says Labour 0
simonjmr 3 years

"Under the last Labour Government we won the ashes twice, several gold medals at the Olympics, the first Briton to win several stages in the Tour de France and a glorious world cup qualification...

He's not the top US military commander in Afghanistan, he's a very naughty boy 0
Scroat 3 years

Says President Obarmy. More soon...

Cable 'confused and distraught' at news of 'cuts to the budgie' 0
MightyBlair 3 years
CERN cleaner discovers dork matter 0
andhrimnir 3 years
Turf for sale. 0
andhrimnir 3 years

Approximately 10 square yards. Beginning to turn brown but should survive with a good watering. Never used outside. Open to offers. Tel: Sutton Coldfield 65723. (No Slovenians)...

Marine biologist finds Cod particle 2
andhrimnir 3 years
BBC defends number of staff it sends to big events with Live N.Y press briefing 0
virtuallywill 3 years

Simultaneous live 3D press conferences in Hollywood, Beijing, Western Samoa and The Maldives...

Cern scientists reveal that God Particle sounds just like Joe Pasquale 0
Ludicity 3 years

Scientists working at the Large Hadron Collider have expressed concern after new audio recognition software revealed that the elusive Higgs boson ‘God Particle’ sounds just like squeaky voiced...

Hitman decides final, lucrative job 'a bit too risky' 2
JJStrangelove 3 years

Cop just one week from retirement expresses relief...