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Thames Water announce that 500 tonnes of Celebrities dumped in Thames this week

More effluent later...

0
grottymonty 12.09.11 2:30pm
grottymonty
UK's first Joke Amnesty announced.

The Government has announced the UK's first joke amnesty. Hundreds of embarrassing, cringeworthy and potentially fatal jokes are still in circulation. It is hoped that they will be handed in for safe...

0
seymour totti 12.09.11 2:03pm
seymour totti
New study links excessive blogging to obesity 0
Dumbnews 12.09.11 1:26pm
Dumbnews
9/11 Remembrance events peak with George Bush looking utterly clueless

In a finale to the tenth-anniversary remembrance events, former President George Bush appeared in front of a group of schoolchildren to listen to kids stories, while an aide whispered in his ear and...

0
steve_l 12.09.11 1:22pm
steve_l
Feng Shui expert to reorganise banks 1
spoole2112 12.09.11 12:45pm
Ostsee
Drunk Swedish elk releases album after leaving The Priory 3
pinxit 13.09.11 12:15pm
pinxit
I'm no racist but we're being swamped by Angles says head ofSaxon Defence League 0
ronseal 12.09.11 11:56am
ronseal
Gentle breeze brings chaos to huge swathe of southern England.

Remnants of of an occasional blustery spell that wreaked havoc on the Isle of White have begun to affect roads and properties in the home counties. Schools and shops have been advised to close early...

5
spoole2112 13.09.11 5:05pm
martin2381
Spokesman for UK banks is a chap in Bangalore called Terry 0
Duncan Biscuit 12.09.11 11:29am
Duncan Biscuit
Banks refuse to talk to Sir John Vickers until he gives them his account number 0
Duncan Biscuit 12.09.11 11:29am
Duncan Biscuit
Applicants for Met Police Chief job detained overnight for further questioning 1
Duncan Biscuit 13.09.11 11:42am
writinginbsl
For every £1 you spend with us, we'll put 30p into an offhsore tax haven says T

One of Britain's favourite high street and out of town retailers has pledged to donate 30 pence of every pound spent in its stores to oversees aid. It could generate billions of pounds in much needed...

2
ronseal 12.09.11 12:26pm
Al OPecia
For every £1 you spend with us, we'll put 30p into an offhsore tax haven says T

One of Britain's favourite high street and out of town retailers has pledged to donate 30 pence of every pound spent in its stores to oversees aid. It could generate billions of pounds in much needed...

2
ronseal 12.09.11 5:56pm
dvo4fun
Travellers defend imprisonment of 24 slaves

as alternative source of income in the event of the value of scrap metal falling, a spokesman from the site Mick O'Mick said "we first got them in around 15 years ago when scrap value was at an all...

0
borednow 12.09.11 10:42am
borednow
Sport relief cynics say David Walliams is simply going through the motions 0
charlies_hat 12.09.11 10:34am
charlies_hat
Archbishop of Canterbury to retire to concentrate on 2012 Strictly 0
simonjmr 12.09.11 10:18am
simonjmr
New series of Lewis planned, ITV accused of flogging a dead Morse 8
Ian Searle 13.09.11 5:06pm
martin2381
UK Government To Close Stable Door By 2019

The Government has accepted plans by an Independent Commission to procure a bolt for the National Stable, fit it to the stable door, and then shut and lock the door by the year 2019. However, plans...

0
Awkward Facts 12.09.11 10:00am
Awkward Facts
Daily Mail launches Fantasy Dictator Assassination League

The Daily Mail is launching Fantasy Dictator Assassination League, where livid readers get to spend £100m on buying 10 International dictators, crackpots and war criminals that they think will be...

0
simonjmr 12.09.11 9:51am
simonjmr
Director of Josef Fritzl movie accused of nepotism 0
Runestone Cowboy 12.09.11 9:49am
Runestone Cowboy
Research says no-one gives a toss where you were on day of global news event

As people across the world prepare to put their personal spin on big global news event, shocking new statistics suggest they may be wasting their time. In 99 per cent of cases, nobody gives a toss...

3
ronseal 13.09.11 11:32am
writinginbsl
Chef Still Haunted By Loss Of Souflees

On the morning of September 11, 2001, top New York chef Wylie Dufresne was just putting the finishing touches to a fresh batch of souffles. "I was mixing up a bold chocolate and lime ganache while...

5
Textbook 13.09.11 11:15am
Textbook
Reading Out The Names Of Those Killed In Accidents

In a monthly ceremony organized by the United States Government to begin in October this year, on the 11th day of each month the United States Secretary of Transportation will stand outside 1200 New...

0
Awkward Facts 12.09.11 8:03am
Awkward Facts
Paranoid Statisticians Fear 81% Reoccurring

that any funnier?...

8
thisisall1word 12.09.11 1:13pm
charlies_hat
Statisticians Remember 81%

succinct is the new funny., Although, this is sort of now after the even tell this one in a few months time and get an "ey?"...

0
thisisall1word 12.09.11 7:55am
thisisall1word
Germany set to abandon Grease according to BBC report

EXECUTIVES at Deutche Bank are urging Chancellor Angela Merkel to sever ties with the 1970's hit musical Grease claiming that it's upbeat tunes no longer reflect the spirit of the nation., Right...

0
tedweasel 12.09.11 5:45am
tedweasel
Dyslexic Bush counts the days till 11/9 2
Dumbnews 12.09.11 8:24am
dvo4fun
North Korea to join EU next year

The Democratic People's Republic of Korea (DPRK) will officially join the European Union on January 1 next year, according to a statement from the EU's Directorate of Expansion Rapporteurs. In the...

2
Rick Bradford 12.09.11 8:12am
dvo4fun
Insufferable UK Pedants' Mark 11/9 0
thisisall1word 12.09.11 1:27am
thisisall1word
Autistic Statisticians Remember 81% 3
thisisall1word 12.09.11 6:53am
charlies_hat