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Lord Coe slams 'lack of provision for VIPs' at Bingley canal lock-gate spectacle

Lord Coe has launched a withering attack on British Waterways' handling of the lock-gate replacement on Yorkshire's Bingley Canal. Despite the event only occurring every 25 years, Coe claims...

31.01.12 12:46am
Republicans ask Gingrich for an ‘open relationship’

As the race for the Republican Party presidential nomination heats up, an increasing number of GOP members are asking a resurgent Newt Gingrich if it would be okay if they saw other candidates....

Long Distance Clara 31.01.12 12:01am
Female scientists conclude that a 'kick in the nuts' is ideal Male birth control 0
thackaray 30.01.12 9:03pm
John Terry to miss Swansea Game due to Racially Aggravated Knee Injury 0
Mathna 30.01.12 8:04pm
Lib Dems officially ‘Extinct in the Wild’ says IUCN

Lib Dems are only one step from extinction conservationists announced last night following the downgrading of the species from ‘Critically Endangered’ to ‘Extinct in the Wild’ on the IUCN Red...

hohum 30.01.12 7:34pm
‘Great Pyramids of Giza are Fakes’ claims archaeologist

Professor Mike Smith of Oxford University’s Theoretical History Department has stunned the academic world with his evidence that the Great Pyramids of Giza are not dated to 2500BC but are medieval...

Immunis 30.01.12 7:28pm
Metropolitan Police rebranded Virgin Plod in tribute to their trains 0
JETFAB 30.01.12 7:19pm
Vegetable substitute brings end to unhealthy diets

In what can only be described as a breakthrough in healthy eating, Premier Foods, manufacturer of meat substitute Quorn, has today announced the launch its latest product, 'Laard'. Using unused...

Marko 30.01.12 6:53pm
Facebook announces plans to display your entire browsing history 0
Dumbnews 30.01.12 6:29pm
Home Office replace Police Officers with 4 "Pesky Kids"

The Home Office have announced radical changes to policing in the UK. Four young adults and a Great Dane are to replace thousands of detectives investigating "funny goings on" at disused fairgrounds....

apepper 30.01.12 5:58pm
'Pesky’ jurors jailed for 'net-based' research as fairground janitor walks free

In an unprecedented move, four members of the same jury have been given nine month prison sentences for using ‘sleuthing’ techniques to research the accused, whilst still on trial. Fred Jones,...

Skylarking 30.01.12 5:38pm
Greasy spot on Aussie Tennis Arena floor found to be Duke of Kent 0
Drylaw 30.01.12 4:35pm
Single mother with two kids is first to refuse state welfare

In what may seen as reversing the trend in government handouts, an Oxfordshire mother with 2 children, refuses to accept state benefits, and continues to support her family on her own. Recently...

Marko 30.01.12 4:35pm
Voters know Miliband is Labour leader shock report finds

Most of the electorate know that Ed Miliband is the leader of the Labour Party says a You Gov poll that has shocked the party's top brass who have been working strenuously to reduce Miliband's...

roybland 30.01.12 3:57pm
Ozzy Ozbourne off his head

Renowned hell raiser and Black Sabbath front-man Ozzy Osbourne has had his head bitten off whilst performing live on stage at a concert in Mexico City. The incident took place during the guitar break...

Marko 30.01.12 3:56pm
Government unveils plans to replace public libraries with benches.

David Cameron has unveiled what he calls 'an exciting new proposal' to close down every single public library in the country and replace each one with a couple of benches. "Let's be honest, who uses...

WatcherMark 30.01.12 3:40pm
Arab Spring protestors buoyed by arrival of Arab strap 0
hohum 30.01.12 2:40pm

Sorry, meant to post this in the chat room...

Major Clanger 30.01.12 2:40pm
Major Clanger
Red faces all round as golfer Nick Price meets The Reverend William Spooner 1
Smart Alex 30.01.12 2:10pm
pere floza
Women 'no more interested' in man after he learns to play harp 1
hughesroland 30.01.12 2:08pm
pere floza
Ban Ki-moon scolded by Nana Moon over hyphenation following marriage. 0
GreenCross 30.01.12 1:43pm
Woman “delighted” as work promotion allows her to feed whole family

Widowed mum of two Angela Sophes was last night said to be ecstatic as she received a promotion at work. 35 year old Sophes from South London reported that her lift to the role of deputy chief...

kimllfixit 30.01.12 1:16pm
Scarlett Anne Mary Brooks Suspicion Someone Listening In To Private Baby Monitor

"I have been put through hell these last hours" claimed new born Scarlett Brooks, who is asking Chipping Norton police to investigate claims that unknown people were monitoring her every move and...

thisisall1word 30.01.12 1:08pm
Continued male one-upmanship leads to first ever ‘stag year’

The growing trend amongst men for ever more elaborate and spectacular stag do celebrations has finally led to what is believed to be the first ever stag year. When Kevin Lucas from Northampton...

Vertically Challenged Giant 30.01.12 1:01pm
Major Clanger
Met office warns severe weather warning imminent

The Met Office is warning of a severe weather warning for the UK later this week. 'We are warning that we will be issuing a severe weather warning soon,' a Met Office spokeswoman said. The...

roybland 30.01.12 12:56pm
Janupauser on 50 pints a day

Beer lover, Gordon Burton, 55, of Somerset, found his New Year’s resolution to give up the booze for a month (so called Janupausing) more difficult to stick to than he envisaged. Normally a six...

ozythelabrador 30.01.12 12:55pm
Major Clanger
CBB winner Denise Welch is officially a disgrace

The Oxford English dictionary has added the new reference of Denise Welch to the word 'Disgrace'. As well as being removed from the definitions of the word Celebrity, Denise Welch can be found under...

Marko 30.01.12 12:54pm
Male mice sing to attract females, scientists reveal.

What a friend we have in cheeses?...

John Ffitch-Rucker 30.01.12 12:47pm
Major Clanger
'Texting and Internet chat' causes first person to evolve without vocal chords

A girl from Norfolk is believed to be the first of a new generation born without vocal chords and with thumbs 25% bigger than average. In an era of mobile, wireless and internet communications, it...

Perks 30.01.12 12:25pm
Major Clanger
University applications drop 9% due to spiralling cost of cider and rizla papers 0
charlies_hat 30.01.12 12:05pm