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Greece declares itself Turkish province again

In an unprecedented move yesterday, the Government of Greece has negated its Constitution, and has declared itself part of Turkey., "It's funny, but when we checked back over the declaration of...

FlashArry 22.02.12 10:06pm
Vox pop respondents 'can't put into words' what's 'indescribable'

Many people interviewed by reporters in the street say they just can't find the words to answer the question they're asked. 'It's hard to put into words,' said Bill Smith (56) when asked by a local...

roybland 22.02.12 10:04pm
Frank Carson final gig, may contain traces of arson 0
medici2471 22.02.12 9:44pm
Merger between Tesco and Morrisons - latest rumours discounted

More Later...

ianrbland 22.02.12 9:44pm
Sunday Sun to close after element of truth found in lead article.

"Clearly this so called "element of truth" was included in error" said a spokesperson for N.I. "We are worried that it was obtained by methods not approved of at the Sun e.g. journalistic inquiry. We...

ianrbland 22.02.12 8:32pm
Strauss-Kahn sex scandal inspires new TV Game Show : "Call My Bliff" 2
Gourd Almighty 22.02.12 7:50pm
Gourd Almighty
Stallion rushed to vets after having a ride off Lorraine Kelly 0
Marko 22.02.12 7:35pm
Latest smart phones to feature "predictive capabilities".

And we don't mean predictive text. An anonymous source has told industry watchers that the latest chip developments will feature psychic abilities, endowing the phones with a fledgling intelligence,...

ianrbland 22.02.12 7:23pm
New horror flick based on true events from an online review 0
Dumbnews 22.02.12 5:17pm
Nurses must sign "Dignitas" code 0
simonjmr 22.02.12 4:17pm
Predictive text: "Ducking annoying" 0
beau-jolly 22.02.12 2:42pm
Home Office report finds sex offender prisons to be "institutionally rapist" 7
dvo4fun 22.02.12 2:25pm
Japanese industry embraces shift to Midlands quality system 'Fuckit-That'lldo'

Once famed for their quaintly logical approach to quality engineering, Japan has at last caught up with the times and is promising to do a more 'half-arsed' job in future. Industry insiders have...

22.02.12 2:23pm
TV chat show without Daniel Radcliffe breaks all viewing records

The BBC's radical decision to broadcast a chat show not featuring the diminutive Harry Potter star appears to have paid off. Viewers, bored to the back teeth with Radcliffe plugging his new film...

Son of Barnabas 22.02.12 2:20pm
Son of Barnabas
Allotment holders suspected of plotting 0
beau-jolly 22.02.12 2:19pm
Man caught on CCTV doing nothing sinister

Security guards were perplexed when, as they watched Mr. Arthur Bramhall of Chorley Wood on CCTV cameras he appeared to do absolutely nothing out of the ordinary for at least 40 minutes before they...

ianrbland 22.02.12 1:52pm
Midfield Diamond
Peter Pan to spearhead Hollywood war on piracy

The war on piracy took another dramatic turn today after the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) announced that Peter Pan will be spearheading their latest anti-piracy campaign. Pan is seen...

lucas 22.02.12 1:41pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Whitney Houston and Michael Jackson Marionette Zombie Dance at Brits 'Too Soon'

A macabre and chilling tribute to the King and Queen of pop at tonight's Brits was deemed as 'too soon' by shocked audience members. A bizarre marionette system was set up over the lifeless zombie...

SimonJJames 22.02.12 1:38pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Plate smashing outlawed in Greece, cup saucer quota now in place

Greek restaurant owners were shocked into silence yesterday when plate smashing was outlawed due to new austerity measures. In a further shock, already stunned restaurateurs were told that they could...

SimonJJames 22.02.12 1:28pm
Dame Vera Lynn receives nomination for best female singer at The Blitz awards 1
Smart Alex 22.02.12 1:15pm
Cameron's stylists 'stole my image' claims face drawn onto balloon

[More soon]...

dicky37 22.02.12 1:13pm
Haye bailed 6
Perks 22.02.12 1:11pm
Sound effects business booming 9
Haywood Manley 22.02.12 1:10pm
Encouraging signs for economy as cost of lemons and batter go up 400% in a day. 3
MADJEZ 22.02.12 1:06pm
Scorsese facial hair documentary deemed too eyebrow for US audiences 1
Haywood Manley 22.02.12 1:05pm
Colombian director to film "Charlie And The Charlie Factory"

Relatives of the late, much-loved author Roald Dahl have expressed their shock and distaste at news that Colombian film director Timoteo Burtonez is to film his own "re-imagining" of the children's...

Haywood Manley 22.02.12 10:15am
Haywood Manley
IAEA to become EIEIO following sponsorship from McDonalds 0
Skylarking 22.02.12 8:26am
Britain's binge drinking babies

"Once he starts on a bottle he just doesn't stop" said one mother when interviewed about this latest news issue. Jackie Shah explained further. "As soon as Nicky sees the bottle he gets very...

ianrbland 22.02.12 7:49am
Brits scoop top awards at Brits Awards shock 0
Dickens or Shakespeare 22.02.12 7:17am
Dickens or Shakespeare
Pantomime fairy brings the house down

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have tried to fly a 22-stone Fairy Godmother in on a wire," admitted the director of Hunstanton Amateur Musical Society (HAMS) after emergency services were called to...

Major Clanger 21.02.12 11:55pm
Major Clanger