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Doctors discover link between not dying and living longer

More to follow...

apepper 13.04.13 8:54pm
"No thanks", Prince Harry and James Hewitt tell Jeremy Kyle 1
sydalg 13.04.13 8:53pm
BBC will not play 'Things Can Only Get Better' if it charts after Blair's death. 5
deskpilot3 13.04.13 8:48pm
sponge finger
Untouchable Tiger Woods Tasked With Disarming North Korea.

The US Government has unveiled its newest weapon against the perceived threat of nuclear North Korea - Tiger Woods. A Defence Department spokesman said "Tiger is unhindered by the rules that govern...

sredni vashta 13.04.13 8:32pm
Measles is God's punishment for being Welsh, says Rowan Williams. More soon. 4
dominic_mcg 13.04.13 8:05pm
Kim Jong-Un Plans To Achieve World Dominance By Heading His Own Boy Band

(Inspired by looking at official photographs of his chubby little face, gazing at an adoring, unquestioning audience.)...

Titus 13.04.13 7:56pm
Leslie Phillips not invited to Thatcher funeral. More soon. 3
Al OPecia 13.04.13 4:36pm
Wizard of Oz stars anger at use of 'Ding Dong.' The Wicked Witch wasn't that bad 0
Hooch 13.04.13 1:37pm
Kim Jong Un's barber "second craziest man in Korea", warns UN 2
sydalg 13.04.13 1:31pm
All war criminals to be forgiven when they die.

Word out of Downing Street last night is that a new system is to be implemented to pardon war criminals immediately following their deaths to spare the family further grief. The children of former...

Hooch 13.04.13 12:56pm
Iron lady stolen by metal thieves

Scrapyards across the UK have been put on alert after the body of Margaret Thatcher was stolen from the secret location where it was being held. Police believe the theft is the work of an Eastern...

sydalg 13.04.13 12:41pm
ATOS declares Angel of the North "fit for work" 0
sydalg 13.04.13 12:26pm
Always a frown with Paris Brown. 0
godly1966 13.04.13 11:24am
North Korean state radio ‘will only play excerpt’ of new Psy single

The People’s Republic of North Korea has confirmed that despite mounting public pressure, its state radio station will play only ‘four or five seconds’ of the new single by South Korean pop...

Long Distance Clara 13.04.13 11:11am
Dick Everyman
Jay-Z defends his visit to Cuba in a new song, Cheap Cigars. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 13.04.13 11:05am
Banana-throwing fan ‘too stupid to be properly racist’

An Arsenal fan who admitted throwing a banana at Tottenham’s Welsh international Gareth Bale during a recent match between the two sides has been convicted of being terminally thick. Thomas...

Midfield Diamond 13.04.13 10:53am
Iron Lady to Rust in Peace 2
Squudge 13.04.13 10:51am
Bailout costs up again as hackers target Cyprus' national reserves on Bitcoin. 0
deskpilot3 13.04.13 10:51am
David Blunket on Thatcher: "I just cant see any good she did for the country" 1
JoeBradley 13.04.13 10:43am
World Panic As N Korea Successfully Launches Coronal Mass Ejection

Titus 13.04.13 8:44am
Morrissey slams Thatcher chart plot as "abhorrent affront to tortured genius"

Morrissey hit out today at the campaigners pushing "Ding, Dong! The Witch is Dead" to the top of the charts, branding it "an abhorrent affront to tortured genius"., "It's fucking unbelievable!" said...

ginty 13.04.13 8:15am
Radio One urged not to play any of the shit in the charts these days

Does that make me sound really old?...

ianslat 13.04.13 2:29am
Joh Kerry to press China on firm line for North Korea on bananas. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 13.04.13 1:45am
Al OPecia
Calls For BBC Not To Play "Don't Cry For Me Argentia" During Funeral Week 5
Titus 13.04.13 12:29am
Celestial Singing, Harp Playing And Gate-Keeping To Be Contracted Out

Recently deceased prime minister announces cost-saving re-structuring and elimination of "inefficiency and waste"; angels protest at compulsory redundancies...

Titus 12.04.13 11:09pm
Huhne likens himself to Thatcher, "We were both conviction politicians". 0
Smart Alex 12.04.13 10:32pm
Smart Alex
UN breaks into song "What do you do you do with a problem like Korea" 9
Smart Alex 12.04.13 9:32pm
Baroness Thatcher 'anthracite' says geologist

A buried Baroness Thatcher will, in a million years, most probably be mined as a lump of anthracite. Dr John Gormley of Oxford University's Department of Geology and an expert on recycled deceased...

roybland 12.04.13 9:24pm
BBC to ban pictures of Sir Edward Heath

The BBC has agreed to screen only fragments of pictures of Sir Edward Heath in the days leading up to the funeral of Lady Thatcher after complaints of bad taste by Thatcher supporters. Tens of...

roybland 12.04.13 8:27pm
Tornadoes hit US Midwest and Ding Dong goes to number one.... Coincidence?

Just asking...

Ian Searle 12.04.13 6:59pm
Ian Searle