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Calls for Sir Max Mosley to be stripped 0
medici2471 01.02.12 9:30am
Dyson launch the electrically heated loft-ladder

James Dyson, the designer of many innovative products no-one knew they needed, announced his company's latest must-have domestic appliance at a press conference today. "A large proportion of...

dvo4fun 01.02.12 9:16am
Burke's Peerage reveals obligatory 'Twat' title to be added to Honours process 0
pere floza 01.02.12 8:58am
pere floza
Man undergoing brain surgery is thinking 'F************ck!!!'

More brainwaves soon...

Scroat 01.02.12 8:32am
Hester to be knighted and deknighted on same day. Then slapped. 0
cinquecento 01.02.12 7:10am
Barclays' Bob Cubic-Zirconia protests as Queen strips him of diamond status 0
cinquecento 01.02.12 7:06am
Fred Goodwin stripped of 50 yds Scottish swimmer award,only left with pension

more cash later...

virtuallywill 01.02.12 3:27am
Hawking: "I'll now communicate by fax only." 2
hughesroland 01.02.12 2:39am
ASDA rebrand 'Smart Price' after customers realise it 'Tastes Like Shit'

Following on from the announcement by Sainsbury’s that they are changing the name of their tiger bread to ‘giraffe bread’ after receiving a letter from a 3 year old saying the pattern looked...

Perks 01.02.12 12:50am
Tories rebranded as 'Posh Twits' following letter from girl, 3

A letter to the Government from a 3 year old girl has been circulating the internet with such speed and support that David Cameron has agreed to rename his party 'The Posh Twits'. The circulating...

kga6 01.02.12 12:06am
Engineers stumble upon low carbon-foot print green car, the Used car 0
Dumbnews 31.01.12 11:43pm
Cockney Pilots scare air passengers

A recent survey has found that when on an airplane, passengers are more relaxed whilst coming in to land when the pilot has a 'posh' accent, as opposed to a regional twang., Cockney pilots top the...

Marko 31.01.12 10:46pm
Low-cost airline to refuel in local petrol stations

Due to another increase of airport fuel duties, renowned low-cost airline O'Really!Air today announced their decision to use specially adapted petrol stations to refuel their fleet of aircraft. CEO...

markbuontempo 31.01.12 10:39pm
Man receives useful email

A Manchester man was today said to be "Stunned" after receiving an email which asked him to attend a business meeting in March. "It wasn't even from Groupon, Woucher, TripAdvisor, eBay, Amazon, an...

antharrison 31.01.12 10:30pm
Canine-friendly golf club remote car park is awarded AAA dogging status

The management committee at Heston Moor Golf Club in Birmingham is said to be delighted at the award of AAA status by the British Dogging Association. "As a long-established golf club with a keen...

antharrison 31.01.12 10:28pm
Fred Goodwin: "My ears will be cold in bed" shock horror 0
Scroat 31.01.12 10:05pm
British Tourists denied entry into the U.S. Due to Tweet

Two British tourists were recently denied entry into the U.S. because one of them had tweeted that he planned to "destroy" America-- a word he defended as slang for partying hard. In a related...

Couriernew 31.01.12 9:45pm
Fred Goodwin : Worse than Hitler say Daily Mail. 0
MADJEZ 31.01.12 8:56pm
Public calls for Goodwin to be stripped of manhood 0
charlies_hat 31.01.12 6:59pm
Queen strips bank of R to leave just BS 0
medici2471 31.01.12 6:40pm
Fred Goodwin loses knighthood - "I'm sure I put it down somewhere"

Disgraced banker, Fred Goodwin, has caused chaos by announcing that he can no longer find his knighthood. "It's disappeared somewhere, and now there someone at the door who wants it back again."...

apepper 31.01.12 5:31pm
Nodding off can kill, warns NHS.

During the Gary Speed inquest, the coroner said; "It was possible Speed could have "nodded off" while sitting with cable round his neck on the stairs in his garage". NHS spokesman, John...

TheBull 31.01.12 5:13pm
Rootin Tootin
Cave to rent - secluded, ideal get away - suddenly available due to bereavement. 1
Ian Searle 31.01.12 5:00pm
Only sex sells moans Glaswegian rent boy in overcrowded prison 0
Marko 31.01.12 4:44pm
Hecklers barrack Obama at US Presidential rally 0
Marko 31.01.12 4:21pm
What Queen actually needs is a stiff drink, clarifies Palace

Buckingham Palace has angrily rejected claims by Prince Harry that the Queen 'needs Prince Philip at her side' in order to carry out her duties, by insisting that what she actually needs is 'a stiff...

The Paper Ostrich 31.01.12 4:16pm
The Paper Ostrich
Clegg rouses Lib Dems with pledge to make Moon Britain's 136th unitary authority

Nick Clegg has announced ambitious plans to create a British Moonbase by the end of the next parliament, rallying Liberal Democrat voters with a stirring pledge to make the Moon ‘Britain’s 136th...

The Paper Ostrich 31.01.12 4:09pm
The Paper Ostrich
Flashmob breaks Guiness record for multiple indecent exposure arrests

Two great brand names, Guiness and Flash came together yesterday to break a world record for the greatest number of indecent exposures in one place. “I thought multiple exposure was strictly...

nickb 31.01.12 2:57pm
New Channel 5 gameshow, No-Win, No-Fee, set to start this weekend

After a few teething troubles and legal wrangles, channel 5's new flagship Saturday night gameshow, "No-Win, No-Fee" is set to hit our screens. The hour long show, sees 4 contestants go head-to-head...

Iamthestig 31.01.12 2:50pm
The Gulag Diet

The Russian Government, keen to find new ways to attract foreign tourists, have announced the founding of "The Gulag Diet" Visitors will be offered a 6 month "Working Holiday" in one of Stalin's...

TheBull 31.01.12 1:33pm