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Flatulent diver comes up, trumps

More to follow...

apepper 15.04.13 7:04pm
Confusion after Chris Hoy announces he has to re-tire due to a puncture 0
Adam Lewis 15.04.13 6:53pm
Adam Lewis
After ding dong sing song; Big Ben bing bong gone!

More Sun headlines to follow...

apepper 15.04.13 6:19pm
Resealable cheese bag thwarts East End villain

One of Britian’s leading safe crackers has failed in his bid to become the first man in the UK to open the seal on a slab of cheese without resorting to violence., Top villain Freddie...

Gerontius 15.04.13 6:14pm
Lab kidney popular with all steakholders 1
Backup Brian 15.04.13 5:59pm
Anne Frank's favourite group was Living in a Box...oh no sorry that's her hobby 2
irreverendJ 15.04.13 5:53pm
Backup Brian
Convertible Day may not occur till May this year

Meteorologists and motoring organisations have agreed that, despite hopes, Convertible Day did not occur over the past weekend and may not happen for weeks to come. Convertible Day is the one day a...

Des Custard 15.04.13 5:40pm
Slante Dangle
Thatcher Funeral Privatised

Arrangements for the funeral of Baroness Thatcher have been opened up to competitive tender under new government procurement rules and the contract has gone to ‘[i]Brass Neck[/i]’ – a...

Tom Perdue 15.04.13 5:38pm
Slante Dangle
Speaker Bercow Arranges For His Wife To Be Silenced During Thatcher Funeral

Titus 15.04.13 5:32pm
Lab grown kidney starts taking the piss... 0
brd888 15.04.13 5:22pm
Jimmy Savile's voted favorite for Thatcher cremation rehearsal 0
sydalg 15.04.13 5:17pm
Golf club bans belly pork 0
Terry 15.04.13 5:12pm
Driver with Andrew, Charles & greenish fish in car is acquitted on charge of...

driving without due care and attention...

Terry 15.04.13 5:11pm
Uproar as Big Ben 'Bing Bong' protest tune to be censored on Wednesday 0
Backup Brian 15.04.13 4:16pm
Backup Brian
Golf Club Disqualifies Mayoress For Using Belly Putter

Dawn Ormeroyd, keen golfer and Deputy Mayoress of Felixtowe, was disqualified yesterday for using a belly putter. Ms Ormeroyd, a popular 36 handicap lady member of Royal Orwell Golf Club, had...

15.04.13 3:37pm
N Korea Fury At Subversion By Far-Left Students Disguised As BBC Journaists. 0
Titus 15.04.13 3:10pm
Woman Who Used Breasts To Pay At Car Boot Sale Caught Up In Tit For Tat Row 5
SJM 15.04.13 3:07pm
Future of BBC License fee causes heated debate among Millwall fans

The unique funding model of the BBC has causes a rift to develop among Millwall fans that spilt over into violence yesterday. In one camp are those fans who insist that the quality of the BBC's...

ronseal 15.04.13 3:02pm
BBC To Stop Carrying News Items Unrelated to the BBC

In a bid to provide greater focus on BBC-related news stories, such as the recent one involving LSE students used as 'human shields' for a Panorama programme, the BBC is to cease all news coverage on...

deceangli 15.04.13 2:47pm
"Hill-walking" rots your brain and makes you go blind, warns Daily Mail 0
sydalg 15.04.13 2:18pm
Thatcherite cuts to be remembered with Google driverless hearse 0
sydalg 15.04.13 1:36pm
Miliband vows wrist injury will not interfere with his sex life 0
sydalg 15.04.13 1:31pm
Ant and Dec branded as Hate Clerics After Inciting Violence in Newcastle

Last night the Tyne and Wear Police released a statement to officially list the ITV Prime Time Duo as Hate Clerics after the violent outbursts in Newcastle Upon Tyne. Chief Super Intendant Robert...

Svendo 15.04.13 1:27pm
Hospitalised bungee jumper expected to bounce back from injuries. 0
sredni vashta 15.04.13 12:06pm
sredni vashta
Ecstasy As First Wasp Of Spring Sighted 0
Titus 15.04.13 12:01pm
Bieber explains : " I thought I was at the Helen Keller Museum."

More later...

rob box 15.04.13 11:34am
Association of UK Wiccans Curse Use of Witch Term.

In a startling move today, a spokesperson for the Association of UK Wiccans has taken the unprecedented step of speaking out against the use of the word ‘witch’ to describe the late PM Margaret...

The All New Jeni B 15.04.13 11:27am
Even we don't like us, admit Millwall fans 2
ronseal 15.04.13 11:12am
Midfield Diamond
Elton John struggles to revise Candle in the Wind lyrics for Thatcher funeral 0
Nowherefast 15.04.13 10:14am
Sunderland fans salute Di Canio's victory 0
ginty 15.04.13 10:10am