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Slightly colder weather 'a godsend' say forecasters

The slightly colder weather reaching the UK this week is 'a godsend' to weather forecasters, according to the Met Office. 'We've had to put up with very mediocre weather conditions this winter,' a...

roybland 02.02.12 8:06pm
Pubic wigs evaluated on 2
Smart Alex 02.02.12 6:50pm
Smart Alex
Shock as Masterchef aired without Coldplay in the background 2
kimllfixit 02.02.12 5:34pm
Redknapp admits to lip movement when lying

Or did he ? More soon...

simonjmr 02.02.12 4:29pm
One week on: Many Chinese still putting 'Year of the Rabbit' on cheques 12
Smart Alex 02.02.12 4:03pm
Space to be made for 'beneficial immigrants' by recycling white trash 0
pere floza 02.02.12 3:37pm
pere floza
Terry to consider Tax Evasion when professional Racist career over 0
tedweasel 02.02.12 3:11pm
'Abridged Too Far': Directors cut no longer makes any sense...

Hat tip to Charlie's hat...

Smart Alex 02.02.12 1:33pm
Smart Alex
Simon & Garfunkel release 30 second classic 'Abridged Over Troubled Water' 7
charlies_hat 02.02.12 1:27pm
Son of Barnabas
Facebook user who clicked ‘share’ button saddled with $20M portfolio

A self-confessed social networking addict is twenty million US dollars in the red today, after repeated use of the Facebook ‘share’ function saw her accidently pledging to buy hundreds of...

jp1885 02.02.12 1:13pm
Prince William's new dog's name is a tribute to the Dambusters speculation

After it was announced yesterday that the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have bought a puppy, speculation has mounted that the as yet unveiled name of the dog is a tribute to 617 Squadron. More soon...

simonjmr 02.02.12 1:01pm
BBC claim gangs of tax payers kidnap "travellers" and force them into work 0
medici2471 02.02.12 12:49pm
Groundhogs and Prairie Dog populations at threat from Meerkats

Following the near extinction of Red Squirrels at the murderous hands of their Grey brothers shocking news follows that indigenous populations of Groundhogs (the traditional heralds of spring) and...

simonjmr 02.02.12 12:38pm
Greg Torode suffers coronary after wannabe chef serves omelette

Masterchef's smug foodie Greg Torode was today in hosiptal following a massive coronary brought on by the stress of a dish served by a contestant. A spokesperson for the show explained,"he had just...

grottymonty 02.02.12 12:17pm
Woman said to have done the same job for sixty years never actually had a job

Claims that a Windsor woman has done the same job for sixty years have been challenged on the grounds that she has never had a job. Employment lawyer Adam Simons said that shaking hands with people...

roybland 02.02.12 12:07pm
Olympic opening ceremony to include ritual stripping of Ovett's OBE, urges Coe 2
pere floza 02.02.12 12:06pm
Diane Abbott to replace John Terry as England captain

The Football Association has finally bowed to pressure and removed John Terry from the role of captain of the England football team, replacing him with Labour MP Diane Abbott. Mrs Abbott is expected...

Long Distance Clara 02.02.12 12:02pm
Long Distance Clara
Science decoder of 'internal voices' lands man in legal trouble

A 21 year old Cambridge student, who volunteered for scientific research, has found that he has lost several friends, and is even facing criminal charges of sexual harassment. Researchers at have...

simonjmr 02.02.12 11:03am
"Too Much Sex On The Telly, Luv...."

"Let's do it on the radio for a change, eh?"...

Jesse Bigg 02.02.12 10:59am
Sky Sports to launch new 4D service called ‘actually going to the match’

Sky TV bosses have today launched a new sports coverage service called ‘actually going to the match’. ‘Actually going to the match is raising the bar of realistic viewing experiences’...

ianslat 02.02.12 10:56am
Insurance brokers forced to call in pest control after meercat infestation 2
jp1885 02.02.12 10:44am
Polo club aims for wider audience by allowing pantomime horses

Royal Leamington Spa Polo Club is attempting to bring the sport of polo, traditionally an upper class activity, to a wider section of society by allowing players to compete on pantomime horses....

Vertically Challenged Giant 02.02.12 10:39am
Manufacturer of pirate goods develops the iPatch 2
Smart Alex 02.02.12 10:30am
Credible Witness Solves Alien Abduction Mystery

Retired RAF Wing Commander Richard Thomas (DFC and Bar) claims to have solved the mystery of why so many people claim to have been abducted by Aliens. “The Aliens are in it for the Tesco Clubcard...

The All New Jeni B 02.02.12 10:12am
Wales caught by Japanese Fishermen whilst trying to leave UK, 0
RJWinter 02.02.12 9:28am
Radical move sweeps through Honours System

"We've responded quickly to something that has obviously concerned British voters, sorry, people for some considerable time," said PM David Cameron speaking outside no 10 last night after MPs and...

Drylaw 02.02.12 9:18am
Beckham: "my days of posing naked are over”.

Thank fuck for that, says David...

John Ffitch-Rucker 02.02.12 8:44am
John Ffitch-Rucker
Saudia Arabia extends Sharia law to those caught stealing hotel toiletries 0
Dumbnews 02.02.12 4:25am
Mugabe meets with Blunt and Ceaucescu relatives to demand knightood restorations

Zimbabwean president Robert Mugabe has flown to Europe to meet with relatives of the late Anthony Blunt and Nicolae Ceaucescu. It is understood that all parties are concerned for their reputations...

DorsetBoy 02.02.12 3:41am
Fred Goodwin to have knighthood removed in embarrassing public ceremony.

It has been disclosed that, mere hours after the news of having his knighthood removed was revealed to the public, Fred Goodwin is to have it taken off him in an embarrassing public ceremony....

WatcherMark 02.02.12 1:10am