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ARMAGEDDON, THE LAST SPOKEN WORDS - 2 34
Rowly 3 years

Would it be? "Have we got to lie down for this", or "I suppose this is the 'Till death us do..,.part"...

More proof that the UK is down the toilet... 6
MC One R 3 years

as Cheryl Cole's latest "musical" offering shifts more than 150,000 copies to the ignorant masses who probably watch X Factor and think it contains talented people with a musical future, in much the...

USA "can't be arsed" to go ahead with election. 1
FormerlyAlOPecia 3 years

To much hassle and arguing has put them off...

Toner cartridges to be banned from hand baggage on UK flights. 4
riesler 3 years

and stable door to be locked as horse disappears over the horizon. What a waste of time, as if 'they' will use toner cartridges again. What next.exploding shoelaces?...

Airport Security: "We must have more scanners" says MD of scanner firm 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years
New kings Cross PA Announcement Would the passengers changing sex 0
arrghgarry 3 years

on platform three Please mind the Gap...

Having a lifestyle goes out of fashion in 'austerity Britain' 0
la maga 3 years

Fashion magazines across Britain are this week trumpetting the 'death of the lifestyle' as Brits settle into hard economic times that show few signs of ending in the foreseeable future. "What we're...

Urgent rethink after new enterprise tsar is taken to a cellar and shot 2
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Women don't like having sex with Steven Fry in complaints of miserable cant 0
StoopyDeGunt 3 years
Jamiroquai looks down barrel of his career after X Factor appearance. 2
Basil_B 3 years

Jazz funkster and pop artist Jay Kay famously known as Jamiroquai blasted his agent today for booking him on ITV's X Factor last night, ' that'll teach me for leaving it to someone else to find me...

Town to change name 5
MC One R 3 years

In a bid to pep up their image, Staines town councillors have decided to add the word "Trouser" in front of the current name to at least enable comedy writers some easy gags...

Boombox app launched by Al Qaeda inconjunction with UPS 0
simonjmr 3 years
Builders ‘outraged’ as Greggs pasties recategorised as class A drug 1
therustler 3 years

Representatives from the Federation of Master Builders today petitioned Parliament to overturn the recent decision to categorise Greggs pasties as class A drugs, alongside heroin and crack cocaine....

Marco Polish not quite up to his Italian ancestor as polish boat gets lost. 4
Basil_B 3 years
Thatcher due to be discharged from hospital 1
ramblesnake 3 years

Other patients at the West London BUPA hospital are said to be looking forward to steak and garlic being back on the menu and having the blinds raised during daylight hours., The nation rejoices...

'Whats the porpoise of that' questions Dolphin on why he has a smaller cousin. 0
Basil_B 3 years
Panic as rockets, mortars found in newsagent shop, also Catherine wheels 0
red 3 years

The world has once again been put on high alert following the discovery of a number of explosive devices in a newsagents in Bromsgrove, West Midlands. With the media baying for answers, Home...

UPS confirm carriage fee refund for suspected Yemeni bomber 0
Mrblacker 3 years
Polish boat safely docks in England after storm. 5
Basil_B 3 years

Unfortunatley for the crew they were supposed to be going to Canada...

Half of humanity are nasty shallow cynical bitches, says national treasure 1
StoopyDeGunt 3 years

Stephen Fry women. sex.. etc...

Tory Sports minister Jeremy Hunt hopes to combine a cold winter 4
arrghgarry 3 years

spiraling deaths of old age pensioners spiraling costs of cremation ,apathy amongst the unemployed ,no exercise for the young by using the bodies as toboggans...

"Too many dead people!" says Church of England 0
Iconographer 3 years

Lambeth Palace has issued a strongly worded complaint to the BBC following the impact of Who Do You Think You Are on All Souls Day. "The Archbishop of Canterbury is a bit put out by the number of...

French-UK defence cooperation to focus on UK Army Catering Corps 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
IoW fathers say over-the-counter Pill for young girls infringes their rights 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
East Midlands Airport bomb alert caused 'a terrible freight', says BAA. 0
The Paper Ostrich 3 years
"Pinch, Punch first of the month" - not a defence for spousal abuse 1
simonjmr 3 years
Leafy suburb terrorised by 'trick or treat' interpretive street dance gang 14
Golgo13 3 years

Families across the London borough of Ealing were left paralysed with fear last night after receiving a visit from a group of trick-or-treaters who performed dance interpretations of 'losing your...

Alcohol is more enjoyable with crack or heroin 2
arflaethel 3 years

Alcohol is more fun with heroin or crack cocaine, according to a new study by Professor David Nutt, the government's chief drug adviser, following one of his five day benders. In an Article...

"Work wife" to divorce after polygamy discovered 4
simonjmr 3 years

James Bracknell (36) has today been served with divorce proceedings from his "work wife" Emma Morgan after the discovery that Mr Bracknell not only had an real wife, but a "train wife", "lunch wife"...

Coleen Rooney fumes at reporter that his stay at the worlds most expensive 0
arrghgarry 3 years

hotel was paid for by the Daily mail ,where as they had to work nearly a full day to pay for their trip...