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"Sorry, we were wrong" say scientists "Wanking harms eyesight, also moral fibre" 0
la maga 3 years
Clinton in drive against cooking smoke 1
Passepartout 3 years

The US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has announced a global partnership to tackle the scourge of toxic smoke from indoor cooking fires. Cooking smoke is estimated to shorten the lives of 1.9...

'True life betting' launched at Steve’s stag weekend 0
Oxbridge 3 years

Following the success of ‘in game’ gambling on football matches, online betting agency Paddy Power is beginning an experiment in what it calls ‘true life’ betting. A pilot project has begun...

Dawkins Dementia Fears - "There is no Bod" 0
wolfie 3 years

Aggressive atheist Dawkins prompted fears of growing dementia as he began a unwarranted attack on the much loved mystic cult leader and children's programme star, Bod. "There is no evidence that...

Looking at Ronnie O’Sullivan to cost £1,000 per glance 2
ianslat 3 years

Money-motivated snooker player Ronnie O’Sullivan has today announced a new tariff system to cover every aspect of his life. The former World Champion, who recently refused to complete a 147 break...

India's homeless millions deeply concerned about quality of Games accommodation 0
ianslat 3 years
Ban on police driving at night would save lives says report 0
roybland 3 years

more soon---...

Pope is Gok in Frock Shock 1
wolfie 3 years

Britain's best loved spiritual advisor, Gok Wan, blew his cover as "Pope" amidst leaked plans to "Beautify Carnidal Newman", to help him "look good naked." Gok was called to restore the...

'I'm not potty,' Prince Charles tells a bunch of chrysanthemums 0
roybland 3 years
'Kim Jong-un' because he's only 26 0
roybland 3 years
McCain's launches new Witches range with "Coven-Ready Chips". 1
FormerlyAlOPecia 3 years

And announce a sponsorship deal with Wiccan Wanderers...

Aldi Viagra sales flop 0
roybland 3 years
Eddie the Eagle is sole remaining GB athlete at Commonwealth Games 0
antharrison 3 years
New last-moment events for Commonwealth Games 1
hero2zero 3 years

From each and every catastrophe come the opportunity for something new, hence the new event, “Bridge jumping” will be the first of its type in the history of the Games and all competitors and...

Shock as BBC appears to give a toss about Commonwealth Games 0
Oxbridge 3 years
India To Fix Games Village 0
IABP 3 years

Is there nothing safe from betting scams?...

Vatican Bank 'investigated over money-laundering' 1
rosewing 3 years

The Vatican was embroiled last night in yet another scandal. Italian police moved in to search the Papal residences after traces of white powder were found on the St Peters Steps. It was suspected...

Nick Clegg found abandoned in layby 0
hero2zero 3 years

Council cameras caught images of a dazed and bemused Nick Clegg watching as the car that brought him sped off. Images caught on camera showed the car's registration clearly, but, apparenty DVLA...

Girlfriend doesn't want a flapjack, would rather have a baby 0
la maga 3 years

The source of several weeks of tension between Jack Harling and his girlfriend of two years, Sarah Mishal, came to light today after Mr Harling, attempting to sooth Ms Mishal's irritable mood, which...

Apple release critical patch to restore user's enthusiasm for their device 1
Dumbnews 3 years
Lib-Dems to be renamed "Post-It-Notes". More soon 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 3 years
Police in quandary over arrested witches coven 0
hero2zero 3 years

Police were obliged to release six member of a witches coven, arrested under the anti-terrorist act. The men, aged between 26-50 mainly of ethnic origin were rumoured to have been dancing naked...

Commonwealth Games committee appalled by "third world conditions" in Delhi. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
E-fit photo slug arrested 0
Gerontius 3 years

Earlier today Hampshire police raided a vegetable patch just outside Stockbridge and arrested a large black garden slug in connection with a spate of burglaries carried out in the area over the past...

'See the Pope or die of cancer' no contest says RC man 1
Gerontius 3 years

A Roman Catholic man suffering from a rare form of bowel cancer has welcomed the Pope’s visit to the UK insisting that the £10-12m cost of staging the lavish event is undoubtedly money well spent...

West End 'Mousetrap Play' to Close 1
Jesse Bigg 3 years

Due to News of the World finally figuring out 'who done it.'...

British TV Comedic output at an all time low, Twitter-abuse blamed. 0
gaijintendo 3 years

Factburst: [list]The only format achievable by today's ADHD comedians is micro-sketch, pun-a-thon or panel show.[/list], [list]Members of the BBC Kent News team have had to step in to write "My...

Rectal cavities to be used as sports arena and sports village for Delhi games 0
simonjmr 3 years

Reports that our facilities are shit holes - is totally unfounded, we are utilising the most advanced rectal cavity technology for our facilities. We will also be using Nasal passages and Aural...

Outrage as dyslexic Pastor threatens to burn a Korean on 9th November. 1
be reasonable 3 years

Outrage as dyslexic Pastor threatens to burn a Korean on 9th November...

Mother in law could lose a few pounds, in all honesty 4
Oxbridge 3 years