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Airstrike called as all Britains smug bastards found in field near Glastonbury. 0
MADJEZ 3 years

Intelligence agencies have tipped off the PM that nearly all the irritating smug bastards in the country have gathered together near Glastonbury for some sort of rally. David Cameron is being urged...

The Northwest at risk of desertification as water runs low. 1
Dun Dunkin 3 years

The south east to ship used swimming pool water to northern households hardest hit. 'We don't need it anymore and if it helps them out. We'll also throw in a bottle of mineral water',' said a sussex...

Met Office says linking hot weather to summer ‘is scientifically discredited' 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Chelsea’s hopes for new season hit by limit on non-EU migrants 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
No timetable for Afghan withdrawal after Network Rail web site crashes 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Cameron to have ‘talks’ with Obama, Obama to tell Cameron just exactly how it is 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Surprise as Radiohead play set at Wimbledon 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Italian physicist discovers anti-pasta 4
andhrimnir 3 years
Wimbledon line judge in random word admission 0
QorbeQ 3 years

A centre court Wimbledon line judge has been forced to admit that, not only does he sometimes make mistakes, he also uses random phrases in place of the more traditional 'OUT' or 'FAULT' calls....

'Winter Vomiting Bug' least popular Herbie film says poll 0
QorbeQ 3 years
Michael Jackson said to be 'very happy' to get £1B after his death 0
PluckyMunky 3 years
Vince Cable "Quisling was much misunderstood." quote questioned by Clegg. 2
pinxit 3 years

Collaboration, er, Coalition to investigate...

Glastonbury mix-up 4
riesler 3 years

Local branch of the WI booked for a jam session on the Pyramid stage...

Archbishop of Canterbury announces Second Coming 0
riesler 3 years

"Bono will play Glastonbury next year"...

Depressed socialists wonder if vuvuzelas mighty rally more opposition to cuts 0
la maga 3 years
Shortage of beardy wierdy eccentrics has coursed Channel 4 to scrap Time Team. 0
Basil_B 3 years

Less archeologist's soon...

Tall, flightless, South American bird wins Rhea of the Year. More soon. 3
dominic_mcg 3 years
Armed Forces Day goes with a Bang 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years

To make the troops feel at home the local council have hired some afghani migrants working in the local frozen pizza factory to take pot shots at them as the march by. They will also be required to...

Lake District leak likely cause of low water levels 0
QorbeQ 3 years

Engineers working for United Utilities in water-starved North West England say they may have found 'a bit of a leak' in the largest reservoir in the region. Plumbers were called to a coffee shop on...

No sunday bloody sunday for U2 after bloody sunday resolution forces Glasto out 0
Basil_B 3 years

Following the recent apology made by Prime Minister David Cameron over the bloody sunday killings, Irish Rockers U2 have been forced to cancel their appearance at this years Glastonbury. ' We cant...

Maradona: My Post-Cocaine Football Hell 7
Golgo13 3 years

The career of a cocainer is a short but exciting one – the fast-talking nonsense, the nose-bleeds, the vast sums of money involved. But what does a cocainer do once he gets to the end of the white...

BBC-ITV rivalry gets tougher with retaliatory show cancellations 0
QorbeQ 3 years

British television broadcaster ITV have announced the cancellation of police drama 'Heartbeat' in what pundits are calling 'tat-for-tat' moves between the UK's two main networks. The BBC reacted...

iPhone4 so-named as the 5th time you use it, it breaks 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years
Marathon tennis match star to be sponsored by Viagra 3
Stan Laurel 3 years

It is understood that Nicolas Mahut, who featured in Wimbledon’s record breaking second round tie was is to become the new face of Viagra, the erectile dysfunction drug. Although the information...

North western Giggolo's worried as area hose ban threatened. 0
Basil_B 3 years
Religious buildings forced to remove cctv if omnipresent God is claimed 2
virtuallywill 3 years

maybe more later...

Boots to provide iBath for iPhone4 users 9
edward hack 3 years

for those punters with sore eyes who can't stop crying once they realise what they really got for £500.00...

Not holding your iPhone4 properly ? 0
edward hack 3 years

To get the best reception, try cupping your fist around it tightly and rubbing vigourously for several minutes until something comes - you might find a light gel or lubricant will help, Failing...

Over-competitive dad red-carded for horror tackle on son. 3
MightyBlair 3 years

An overly-competitive father has admitted that he may have gone too far after breaking his son’s leg during a light kick-about in the garden. The incident occurred after Billy Harris, aged 8, had...

4G iPhone promises telephone voice quality comparable to 1940's 2
Dumbnews 3 years