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Countries currently bracing themselves for disaster

Ethiopia bracing itself for renewed famine following severe drought, Nepal bracing itself for further floods and landslides, Antigua bracing itself for further tornadoes and waterspouts, Gulf of...

bumtrinket 11.07.13 7:38pm
Russian Court Convicts Zombie Tax Fraudster

Official verdict "Gulty but dead"

Titus 11.07.13 6:33pm
Prescott “Knows Where Falkirk Is”

Lord Prescott (75) defended his remarks on Radio 4 when he suggested that no-one knew where Falkirk was. Prescott, who declared that he would never accept a peerage until he accepted a peerage,...

Mike Turbine-Hamilton 11.07.13 6:22pm
Entire Government Of The UK To Be Sub-contracted Out To G4S

"They have shown themselves to be incompetent and unapologetic" said a government spokesman "And therefore ideally suited for the task"...

Titus 11.07.13 6:20pm
Ex-Eastender gets into heaven Anna Wing and a prayer 0
victimms 11.07.13 4:22pm
Lou Beale set to make surprise return to Albert Square 0
victimms 11.07.13 4:21pm
Children to be 'tagged' while 'tagging'

In a serious upheaval of playground safety, G4S have won the contract to provide security for the UK's parks. Children as young as two will have their interaction policed and invoiced by the...

Wrenfoe 11.07.13 4:05pm
Plan To Convert Wind Farms To Solar-Electricity-Powered Giant Cooling Fans

despite protests from the Friends of Green Earthpiece who object to the fact that this might present the risk of making both wind turbines and solar panels actually useful, thus contradicting all the...

Titus 11.07.13 3:29pm
Agency recruiting nightclub bouncers has new slogan - Heavy Gents Placed 0
Smart Alex 11.07.13 3:23pm
Smart Alex
MPs say 'No,No,No,No,No. Ah go on then.' to pay rise 2
A.A.Arkwright 11.07.13 3:20pm
Russian scholars find lost sequel to Eugene Onegin: Boris Tenvodkas 1
sydalg 11.07.13 3:20pm
Smart Alex
China to outsource all executions to Texas

All eyes are on Texas this week as it takes over the contract to execute everyone convicted of a capital crime in China. Places like North Korea and Saudi Arabia are believed to be watching closely. ...

sydalg 11.07.13 3:15pm
Steroid sample thief was 'just taking the piss' 0
custard cream 11.07.13 3:07pm
custard cream
Woman Kidney Patient Terrified Of Receiving A Welsh Transplant

"I must admit, it would be nice to be able to sing well" she stated "But I don't think I could manage to sustain the necessary level of continual whingeing and complaining about everything, nor be...

Titus 11.07.13 3:00pm
Lindy Moone
Poll in Guardian reveals 47% of children are born out of Matlock 5
Scronnyglonkle 11.07.13 2:41pm
Tour de France bosses shocked as thrown urine contained no steroids 4
ianslat 11.07.13 12:59pm
Royal Mail to be sold on eBay, though seller has poor feedback. 1
MADJEZ 11.07.13 11:43am
New smoke tweet and booze friendly airline celebrates relatively few fatalities

The bosses of Politically Incorrect Air were celebrating last night, after a set of quarterly results that showed that most flights were relatively crash free, and the mortality rates were...

ronseal 11.07.13 11:42am
Thousands of soldiers laid off to make room for Olympic knights.

A spokesman for the Ministry of Defence has confirmed that almost 5,000 soldiers have been made redundant due to the influx of knights since the London Olympics. “We just don’t have the...

sdritchie 11.07.13 11:23am
Bewildered crowds gather as Question Time arrives on Isle of Wight

Hoards of islanders approached with trepidation as BBC topical debate programme Question Time arrived on the Isle of Wight today by fishing trawler, ahead of filming the latest instalment of the...

Jesus H 11.07.13 11:22am
Jesus H
UK signs Human Rights abuse outsourcing contract with China.

more soon .., Hat tip to sydalg...

Not Amused 11.07.13 10:14am
Not Amused
Total collapse of city built on rock and roll

A city about which its architects proudly declared had been built on rock and roll has collapsed in a heap of rubble. An embarrassed spokesman for the architects pleaded with journalists to 'say you...

John Wiltshire 11.07.13 9:55am
'NHS is not what it used to be' says grumbling appendix 3
Dick Everyman 11.07.13 9:53am
Evidence-based Bible, Torah and Koran published on single sheet of A4.

More later., No, I’m not entering myself. Fnar, fnar...

FOAD 11.07.13 9:49am
God converts Bible into Twitter feed

The Creator of the Universe has rejected charges that He is dumbing down after He converted the entire Bible to Tweets. The Good Book is now being tweeted to earth daily in easily digestible segments...

sydalg 11.07.13 9:46am
Last posting day for Christmas, this Friday. 2
Squudge 11.07.13 9:37am
Cig packs to show warning photo of George Osborne with heaps of tobacco revenue 0
sydalg 11.07.13 9:28am
Westminster to keep Scotland as a “f**k-buddy”

In the event of a “yes” vote for Scottish Independence, politicians south of the border would like to retain specific conjugal rites without any of those awkward commitment issues. In...

Wrenfoe 11.07.13 9:28am
Panic inside Kensington Palace as special delivery Royal male still not arrived. 0
irreverendJ 11.07.13 7:54am
Protesting bluebottle successfully scales the Shard 0
grottymonty 11.07.13 7:45am