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Venus finally finds self after rare trek across the sun 1
simonjmr 06.06.12 9:33pm
Queen in rift with Barlow as Coldplay tickets get a last minute ditch.

The Queen's Jubilee Reporting Committee has gotten hold of material showing Her Majesty in a heated confrontation with Gary Barlow, the man put in charge of organising the entire shambles of a...

JohnSmith 06.06.12 9:19pm
Unpopular co-worker grateful for LinkedIn invite from Russian hackers 0
Mandy Lifeboat 06.06.12 9:06pm
Mandy Lifeboat
Gloria Mundy misses last Venus Transit due to Norovirus infection 3
Nails UK 06.06.12 8:52pm
Author Ray Bradbury to be cremated at temperature of Fahrenheit 451 2
V Riddoch 06.06.12 8:44pm
Nails UK
Austrian town of Fucking in twinning talks with German village of Blöjöb 2
Alan Sundry 06.06.12 8:25pm
Government can't cut childcare bureaucracy as not allowed scissors, say experts.

More later...

V Riddoch 06.06.12 8:09pm
Al OPecia
Author Ray Bradbury to be cremated at temperature of Fahrenheit 451 2
V Riddoch 06.06.12 8:06pm
V Riddoch
Queen ‘comes out’ as dyslexic after igniting Deacon in error

Buckingham and Lambeth Palaces have presented a united front over the near-immolation of Stephen Wallace, the chubby Deacon of St Paul's Cathedral, at the Jubilee Concert yesterday. The Queen...

dvo4fun 06.06.12 6:40pm
Al OPecia
Following Transit across the sun, NASA gets Toyota Hi Ace for Mars mission. 0
Maverick 06.06.12 5:54pm
Daily Mail Jibe Sees Fry Set To Quit Twitter Yet Again

Racist homophobes' newspaper of choice, The Daily Mail, is at the centre of yet more Twitter outrage today, after it suggested in an article that the uncrowned King of the microblogging site, Stephen...

Duff 06.06.12 4:53pm
BBC to broadcast a day of 'gobshite'

The BBC's decision to broadcast James Joyce's Ulysees on Radio 4 throughout the day on 16 June has been denounced by listeners. 'Ulysees is recognized as a seminal work,' said a BBC spokesman. 'A...

roybland 06.06.12 4:39pm
Cliff put to death after slapping arse in front of monarch

Sir Cliff Richard has been taken to the gallows on Tyburn Hill and hung by the neck until dead, after slapping his arse in from of her majesty queen Elizabeth II. In a rousing display of musical...

Old Hat 06.06.12 4:35pm
Old Hat
Williams family rallies round after Venus in Transit incident 0
cinquecento 06.06.12 1:41pm
Hologram of Duke to insult guests at Jubilee lunch, says Palace. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 06.06.12 11:50am
White Van Man Strikes Again In Transit On The Sun Sensation

Amateur stargazers and top astronomers alike are said to be amazed following a sensational once in a lifetime occurrence earlier today, when reports started to surface from the world's top monitoring...

Duff 06.06.12 11:46am
Grandma (86) was refused a day off work to visit husband (90) in hospital 0
Mark66 06.06.12 11:22am
"Britain's Most Psychedelic Chef" Coming To TV Soon

A new spin on the popular reality cooking show is set to debut this season as Britain's Most Psychedelic Chef hits the air. Competitors will be expected to prepare a wide range of gourmet cuisine to...

Textbook 06.06.12 11:16am
BBC hits back at Baker and Raworth ‘cheap labour’ commentary allegations 0
Duncan Biscuit 06.06.12 11:16am
Duncan Biscuit
Non-techies in awe as IPv6 launches despite bad weather 0
Duncan Biscuit 06.06.12 11:15am
Duncan Biscuit
Miliband considers austerity re-branding as Cheap Labour 0
Duncan Biscuit 06.06.12 11:15am
Duncan Biscuit
Olympic torch hand-cuffed to Dublin lamp post by British stag party 0
Duncan Biscuit 06.06.12 11:14am
Duncan Biscuit
Disappointment for ISS astronauts - "You weren't in" claims Royal Mail.

Astronauts were bitterly disappointed to find a card on their mat indicating that the first Royal Mail delivery to the International Space Station had been aborted. The parcels of gifts from...

Boutros 06.06.12 11:13am
Duncan Biscuit
Industrial action on the cards after al-Qaeda votes for strike 0
simonjmr 06.06.12 10:32am
BBC to air Philip's infection's transit of his penis 0
simonjmr 06.06.12 10:30am
Greek and Spanish bond yields spike on news of Nigerian email withdrawal

The financial crisis in Europe deepened on news that the Nigerian Email Co-op was ceasing operations in Greece and Spain. Markets were spooked as prevalence of scam emails is seen as a crucial...

Yikes 06.06.12 10:26am
The LA Mayoral purse taken for a ride

Mayor Albert Yen-Gang, who is Mayor of San Grabbit, in Los Angeles, appears to have fallen upon 'hard' times.. Having escaped from the City Hall car park, in the Mayoral Limousine, after giving his...

Kazytc 06.06.12 10:13am
In-Jokes Have No Place In News Media, Says You-Know-Who 0
Textbook 06.06.12 10:12am
Internet Now With "Auto-Adolf" Comparison Feature

It has long been a rule of any political debate, that if it goes on long enough, one party will compare the other to Adolf Hitler, and the party that makes this comparison instantly loses the debate....

Textbook 06.06.12 10:11am
Football refs' smelling salts franchise to end soon......

due to clamp down on pitch swearing., Rugby League to follow?...

Jesse Bigg 06.06.12 10:01am
Jesse Bigg