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Apple introduce new app for Catholic girls... 1
be reasonable 4 years

iCan't, iWon't, o.k. iWill...

Apple to introduce phone for pessimists... the 'I-Cant' 5
AndyOverhead 4 years

In a bid to aid those whose glass is permanently half empty, Apple will next month launch the new 'I-Cant', a gadget designed to assist the self-defeatist., "Each new technology that comes out is...

Munchausen to launch new Champagne 2
beau-jolly 4 years
Workers at Hillside farm who were found to be ill treating birds 4
4 years

are to have their pay ducked...

Wizard distances himself from Government's banking plans 3
OllieP 4 years

Merlin the wizard has moved to dissociate himself fully from the bank deal thrashed out yesterday by the coalition. In no way does the enchanter wish to be linked to the Operation named after him,...

Predictive text an apse claims survey 1
simonjmr 4 years
Students' anger at Nick Clegg - 'Don't confuse us with facts!' 2
John Wiltshire 4 years

Students who met Nick Clegg yesterday to shout at him about student fees complained that he was confusing them with facts., 'Does he think he's a doggone lecturer or summat?' demanded the leader of...

Rescued stalled motorist unable to reciprocate with Beckham’s career 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
News of the World invites John Prescott outside to discuss hacking claims 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Stalled motorist helped by Beckham denies he was pushed from the rear 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Lord Prescott in latest hacking probe,it is believed that 3 Killergrams 4
4 years

of Cumberland sausage and other assorted foodstuffs met a grisly end this morning. Relatives were just glad it was over quickly...

Study finds watching sports more fun than playing them 0
Dumbnews 4 years
New netiquette guidelines suggest ending all statements with IMO. 0
Dumbnews 4 years
As Abu Hamzas' PA hangs herself on one of his hooks, his botty becomes a no go 0
4 years

area and is taken off the no flies list...

Middle class housewive hocks amorous tales of her 25 stone Romany lover who 3
4 years

clears her garden of Ragwort.One feels one ought to have a catchy title...

Homosexuals complain about closure of Manchester's public toilets 3
John Wiltshire 4 years

'Now where can we go cottaging?' said a spokesman. 'We may have to use cottages.'...

World's oldest man still confident he will find "the one" 1
Dumbnews 4 years
Catholic fans call for head of manager; 'We wanna be a Big five religion' 5
StoopyDeGunt 4 years

After a consistently bad set of results, Catholic fans seem to have lost faith in their manager and are calling for his head. 'The Pope was alright for getting us out of the lower divisions of...

Banks sign lending deal. Unusual conditions apply. 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 4 years
A Boy Named "It" definitely "Pro-noun", no sign of antecedents. 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 4 years
Mr Cannot Be Named For Legal Reasons ‘preparing to sue all the newspapers’ 8
malgor 4 years
Newfoundland declares war on Labrador... 1
be reasonable 4 years

my jokes are going to the dogs...

New pay study shows women now 88% as good as men 5
Oxbridge 4 years

Womens' groups up and down Britain have been celebrating after a new study into pay differentials showed that women are now performing only 12% worse in the workplace than men, which is an all-time...

Startling Revelation Re Cameron - Tory MP's Aghast 0
Jesse Bigg 4 years

Prime Minister Cameron made a startling revelation today whilst being interviewed on ITN News - He used to be an East End barrow boy, until he met his wife., "I know that I've turned my back on the...

Rick Astley redux 1
Zadok the second 4 years

Rick Astley, the 1980s pop sensation is to be brought back in a newly-restored version, pop producer and train-spotter Pete Waterman confirmed today. “Digital Technology allows us to revisit some...

Apple to join the espionage game with the iSpy app. 0
Psycadelic Squirrel 4 years

Your dreams of being James Bond are one step closer...

[Remix] Labrador denies border-incursion accusation levelled by jack russell 5
CAC 4 years

A Cumbrian village is feared to be perilously close to all-out conflict following a terrier's angry accusation that a labrador is intruding "repeatedly and with clearly provocative intent" into...

Safer Internet Day passes without a hitch thanks to keyboard condoms 0
brownpaperreporter 4 years
Nokia "Not what I thought it was" admits new boss 0
beau-jolly 4 years

When former double glazing salesman, Stephen Elop, applied for the post he explained that he had been red hot with windows so didn’t imagine selling bricks could be that difficult...

Wikileaks to reveal damning evidence on Assange 0
AndyOverhead 4 years

In a truly spectacular miscalculation, Wikileaks looks to have shot itself in the foot after reports were leaked, by themselves, that they had uncovered damning evidence proving that the website is...