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England fans will remember where they were the day we beat Slovenia. 1
MADJEZ 3 years

In perhaps Englands greatest ever football performance they thrashed the mighty Slovenia, a team only 17 places lower in the rankings, by ONE WHOLE goal to nil. Commentaters are calling it a historic...

Czech Republic told to get a proper name that ends in 'land' or the letter 'a' 1
Des Custard 3 years

Brand consultants have told the Czech Republic that it will make little progress until it gets itself a decent name. The country has been going gradually downhill for some time, this year not making...

English men expected back at work today after 'mystery 24hr illness' clears up 1
dicky37 3 years

Doctors are baffled by a spate of 24hr bugs that swept the country yesterday keeping thousands of men off work, forced to 'drink plenty of fluids' while they 'put their feet up'. Employers are seeing...

Rod Stewart contacts cuts website to recommend first cut is the deepest 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
BP refits cap after accident. May have to get married. 0
Griffin 3 years
Norfolk to be twinned with Norfolk 0
fernandomando 3 years
Nick Griffin has grand plus one plans for the Queen’s garden party 0
AlexR 3 years

A spokesman for Buckingham Palace said that it was not known that it was Mr. Griffins intention to invite a group of hoodies, all dressed in white, to the prestigious event and that a review of the...

Osborne Misquote Scandal 8
Doctor Moptop 3 years

In an addendum to yesterday's budget, the Chancellor's Office has made it clear that Mr Osborne did not say "I went into politics because I wanted to help people live in poverty". The correct quote...

Longest ever tennis match on hold as 'piss-bored' Cyclops system nips for a pint 1
QorbeQ 3 years

(Check out BBC2 - 121 games on the trot - over 7 hours of play - final set is currently 38/38 and they're still going!)...

England team to be renamed "Scotland" 4
andhrimnir 3 years
Coalition government to define new poverty levels based on size of plasma TV 5
brownpaperreporter 3 years

Nick Clegg's speech tomorrow will confirm that anyone with a plasma TV under 37 inches is "marginal breadline" The minority of the country with black and white portables are to be given the maximum...

Clegg diagnosed as having 'delusions of adequacy.' 0
PluckyMunky 3 years
Usborne budget 'not a matter of public record' 0
QorbeQ 3 years

Children's book publisher surprised and annoyed at financial enquiries from tabloid newspapers. Might come back to this...

Obama in firing incident, McChrystal pleads to just lose his job instead 0
QorbeQ 3 years
Cameron cuts his own pension:'nothing to do with my own millions' 0
PluckyMunky 3 years

'I just want us all to realise that we are all in this together. Even I am prepared to forgo my own pension. This will make a small dent in my own fortune but I think it is a very worthy gesture. I...

Nation relieved their footballers fucking up slightly less than their bankers 0
la maga 3 years
Ms Booth (aka Mrs Blair) Receives More Criticism Over Her Sentencing 0
Deimos 3 years

Following the capture of Osama-Bin-Laden last year by British Forces, at his trial at Chelsea Crown Court the leader of Al-Qaeda was found guilty of many counts of terrorism. However, Ms Booth’s...

Relieved fans prepare to cheer England to defeat on penalties in quarter finals 2
Oxbridge 3 years
Coalition Government to half number of Milibands in emergency budget 1
jackh 3 years

More soon!...

Blanket Apology Offered to European Bedspread Industry 0
Doctor Moptop 3 years
Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar and doesn't 16
andhrimnir 3 years
Tamworth company offers 'proper driving' lessons 2
QorbeQ 3 years

A new UK firm, named 'Local Driver', has begun offering follow-up driving courses to those who have just gained their full UK driving licence. The Staffordshire start-up provides a one-week...

Harman in display of homophobia as she demands a straight budget 0
andhrimnir 3 years
Top US general sacked for fighting war with one armed tied behind his back 0
StoopyDeGunt 3 years

America's top general has been accused of not taking the Afghan conflict seriously enough, after he admitted in an interview that he was fighting the goddamn war with one arm tied behind his back.,...

Sidebottom saved from papier mache coffin following Facebook campaign 0
andhrimnir 3 years
Gary Lineker condemns lack of crisp passing 0
antharrison 3 years
The One Show’s sofa leaves BBC for its own peak time programme on ITV 5
Stan Laurel 3 years

The BBC was struck a further devastating blow yesterday with the announcement that the sofa from their hit early evening programme ‘The One Show’ had accepted a ‘lucrative offer’ from bitter...

Croydon fishmonger has dark night of the sole 0
PluckyMunky 3 years
England fans already gathering on the streets of Wootton Bassett 6
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Rotten fruit sales increase in preparation of England early return. 2
Basil_B 3 years

Fruit sellers around Heathrow have had a particular good time in recent days...