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Luton based mineral water supplier to TM 'Arab Spring' name 0
MagnusOpum 08.02.12 1:00pm
MagnusOpum
UN confounded by Argentinian anger at Twitter speed camera issues...

in Mercosur mix-up...

0
MagnusOpum 08.02.12 12:56pm
MagnusOpum
New academy to open to give professional footballers the essential 3 R's

Rape, Racism and Rogering your brother's wife / wife's sister More soon...

0
simonjmr 08.02.12 10:22am
simonjmr
Mass evacuation after LUSH store goes into partial meltdown

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/1/1f/BWR_Mark_I_Containment_sketch_with_downcomers.png, [center][i]Cross section of cheekily suggestive-looking LUSH Valentines bath bomb[/i][/center]...

8
Skylarking 08.02.12 10:07am
Major Clanger
Woman spends £1m with Levi's trying to create her own jean pool 2
Perks 08.02.12 9:56am
Major Clanger
UK deport deficit renews concerns of boom and bust 0
cinquecento 08.02.12 9:55am
cinquecento
Tabloids frustrated by "Bankers Bonus" being spoonerism-proof. Sore moon. 1
Al OPecia 08.02.12 9:51am
cinquecento
Whales "stressed" by slow rural broadband speeds

Whales and Dolphins are becoming increasingly stressed and agitated at the lack of availabilty of superfast broadband connections in their locales. Now, researchers have measured stress hormones in...

0
simonjmr 08.02.12 9:34am
simonjmr
Jedward switched at birth: pop world in turmoil

The world of popular music was plunged into chaos today following the revelation that annoying Irish twins Jedward might have been switched at birth. Fellow Irish pop music idiot Louis Walsh...

9
ianslat 08.02.12 9:05am
Al OPecia
Government Poll shows most OAPs happy using freezer to heat home

A Government Spokesman said today:, "We are very happy about the recent poll results. It shows, as expected, that most of the elderly have taken to the idea of heating there homes by opening the...

0
RJWinter 08.02.12 8:33am
RJWinter
Religious Community Argues For Devil Worship To Be Taught In Schools

Theists, predominantly Christians, have long argued for creationism to be taught in schools alongside evolution, in order to have both sides of the story told. But skeptics have pointed out that...

3
Textbook 07.02.12 11:56pm
Quaz
Acquisition of nunnish underpinnings no longer apt as measure of masculine charm

[ according to a Vatican City source ] more Papal Bull soon...

0
FlashArry 07.02.12 11:56pm
FlashArry
Dyson set to cash-in on the attic with new product

[Edited re-sub. - thanks for comments. 300 words lost] James Dyson came to prominence with his 1990s 'Cyclone technology' vacuum cleaner which eliminated not only bags but also effective cleaning...

1
dvo4fun 07.02.12 11:55pm
Perks
Swindon opera spawns host of other unlikely cultural events

Following the news that an opera has been commissioned in praise of the architectural beauty and vibrant cultural life that is the Wiltshire backwater, Swindon (twinned with Salzgitter), a rash of...

3
Clarky 07.02.12 10:50pm
FlashArry
Quiet zone on train infiltrated by noise-making contingent.

A train-travelling man was left mildly perturbed after a group of up to four humans entered the designated quiet zone on a train and showed little, almost zero, respect for the zone’s esoteric...

2
Worth 07.02.12 9:44pm
Worth
Backpacker plans journey sitting at computer clicking websites of countries

Based on this website: http://www.jcdurand.ca/Monde/Monde.html...

0
Dumbnews 07.02.12 9:05pm
Dumbnews
Jesus Christ seen shopping in Morrisons

Jesus Christ has been spotted shopping in a branch of Morrisons by a sixty-year-old ex-nun. The report follows news that David Cameron recently dropped into a Morrisons branch on his way home from...

0
roybland 07.02.12 8:58pm
roybland
New stock tip suggests doing opposite to what everyone else does

and you will be right 50% of the time...

0
Dumbnews 07.02.12 8:24pm
Dumbnews
Northern Ireland braced for mass street parties if Paisley doesn't pull through.

MAR SEEUN !...

1
MADJEZ 07.02.12 8:23pm
Golgo13
Long lost Intelligent Arctic life asks "Is the Leveson Inquiry Still Going on?" 0
ronseal 07.02.12 8:02pm
ronseal
Disgraced Banker says “Go Fuck Yourself” to The Queen

In a surprise move that has confounded his critics, ex-RBS chief Fred Goodwin has sent a series of unequivocal messages to the Queen in response to the inglorious removal of his knighthood. “LOL...

0
hokeycokey 07.02.12 7:32pm
hokeycokey
Syria latest; Ideal Homs Exhibition cancelled. 6
John Ffitch-Rucker 07.02.12 6:47pm
John Ffitch-Rucker
Police 'should have helped Prescott set phone PIN' rules Prescott 0
07.02.12 6:15pm
'Anfield Cat' awarded man of the match 4
Psycadelic Squirrel 07.02.12 5:23pm
John Ffitch-Rucker
Isle of Wight announce celebration plans for Queen's Silver Jubilee 0
andhrimnir 07.02.12 5:15pm
andhrimnir
Jury in Harry Redknapp Case Finds Him Not Guilty....

But gives a nine month suspended (by a lead) sentence to his dog, Rosie...

0
custard cream 07.02.12 5:03pm
custard cream
Jim Davidson supports Terry's decision not to quit England

Jim Davidson has today spoken out in support of John Terry's decision not to quit England. The Nick Nick "acceptable face of racism" comic is on record in 1997, "that he would quit England, if the...

0
simonjmr 07.02.12 4:44pm
simonjmr
Increase in CofE funeral charges blamed on cost of living 0
Sinnick 07.02.12 4:35pm
Sinnick
Man emerges from bunker to learn Cod War is over

After spending more than four decades underground, Harold Smith, 82, emerged from his bunker yesterday to learn the country was no longer at war. 'We all thought it was the end,' said Mr Smith, a...

0
hughesroland 07.02.12 4:35pm
hughesroland
France launches own currency

Economists were last night divided by the proposed introduction of a novelty currency designed to entice tourists to France. Some financial experts believe that the currency – called the...

3
kimllfixit 07.02.12 4:14pm
Vertically Challenged Giant