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Awkward start for new 'Dragon' Hilary Devey - "£50,000 to break someone's arms? 1
Le Creuset Fiend 4 years

"I'm out". Possibly more to follow later - depends if inspiration strikes during risotto Anyone else is more than welcome to write something along these lines though, natch! If only I could get my...

Liz Jones returns from Somalia 'feeling fat' 1
Christopher Frost 4 years
Ian Bell ordered out of Indian restaurant 0
Midfield Diamond 4 years

England cricketer Ian Bell will not be allowed back in to his local Indian restaurant following an unfortunate incident last night. He was ordered out of the Taj Mahal restaurant in Dudley, West...

George W Bush switches from Firefox to Internet Explorer 0
antharrison 4 years
Royals Shock Passengers After Bizarre Behaviour On Flight From Wedding 0
tezza 4 years

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge surprised many passengers on board a FlyBe plane when they boarded the flight in Edinburgh on their way home after the wedding of Zara Philips and Mike Tindall....

US Handball team suffers defeat at the hands of Japan 0
Dumbnews 4 years
Both May-Bowles and Gilmour in prison for defacing an old monument. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 4 years
Peter749400 4 years World events avoided happening and formed an orderly queue last night as the strike affecting BBC journalists continued...

Pie-thrower jailed. Paedophile fined. 0
Christopher Frost 4 years
Murdoch foam pie thrower jail sentence "fucking overkill" admits Magistrate 0
The Return of DroleNoel 4 years
'Heartless' man allowed to rejoin society 0
Christopher Frost 4 years
Hollywood exec "we're not running out ideas"; Aliens vs Balamory script approved 0
thackaray 4 years
Over a third of school pupils in the bottom 50% says government. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 4 years
Sun chiefs realise web site had been breached after story praised boffins 0
ronseal 4 years
New advertoilet technology broadcasts just in time Number twomarketing messages 7
ronseal 4 years

British businesses are wasting a massive opportunity to pester a key demographic with advertising messages - even though their target audience is at its most vulnerable. This tragic waste could be...

'Prison Turns Out To Be Pretty Shit' Says Idiots Mum 0
thesplodge 4 years

BBC to screen Swedish version of Total Wipeout 6
FraserWords 4 years

BBC is to screen a new Swedish version of Total Wipeout, which fully explores the symbolism of loud people falling into deep water in a comic fashion as a comment on the essential futility of life.,...

Newcastle statement says Barton transfer listed for behaving like a Joey 0
charlies_hat 4 years
Attempt To Make Ramadan More Fun Disapproved By Establishment 0
Textbook 4 years

Islamic spiritual leader "Wacky" Wael Alshammari, known for his unconventional sermons, has been in trouble with Saudi authorities before. "Koran? More like BORE-an, am I right? You know why they...

New ‘tea-kitty’ tax hits council employees 0
Dick Everyman 4 years

Chancellor George Osborne has today announced a proposal for a tax on local government tea-kitties. Speaking during an official visit to a Yachting conference in the South of France he said, “We...

Waitrose to open Guinea Land discount shops 2
Des and Stan 4 years

Following the success of its Essentials range, Waitrose (‘never knowingly undercharged’) is to open a chain of discount stores to compete head on with the pound shops seen on many high streets....

Spanish planes grounded after the rain stays on them. More soon 2
martin2381 4 years
Parents admit child is just a little shit 18
Vertically Challenged Giant 4 years

It has been said that everybody remembers the day that a dog ran into their school. That's certainly true for pupils at St Peter's primary school in Coventry, because little Jimmy Morris set fire to...

Obama Caught Reading Bush's Old Copy Of "Being President For Dummies" 0
Textbook 4 years
Boehner And Obama Fail Where It Counts 0
Textbook 4 years

With the matter of reaching an agreement on America's debt restructuring settled, Boehner and Obama now have an even trickier task ahead of them, one which many critics fear will prove impossible and...

Obama averts US debt crisis with loan from 12
Qoxiivi 4 years

The US administration breathed a collective sigh of relief today following President Obama’s announcement that their application for a loan had been approved. In a statement to Congress,...

HSBC to axe 25,000 global jobs, sorry, 'local' jobs 4
JonnyJP 4 years

More soon Just from a comment I made to VCG and he suggested I post it, so I have...

Olympic champ dismisses competitive walking 'speed mincing' jibes. 4
dvo4fun 4 years

"It's very popular with the other athletes and with the petroleum jelly industry." Speaking at the end of last weekend's U.K. athletics World Championship trials, Olympic Gold Medalist from 2000,...

Jenson Button angry at cruel hoax of shit Head & Shoulders ad. 0
MADJEZ 4 years
Syria: Bashar's Latest Tyranny 0
Textbook 4 years

Bashar, the president of Syria, is already in the annals of infamy for his recent atrocities against the people he is supposed to care for. But a new development shows there is no birdge he will not...