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David Miliband to "Go it alone" in the next series of X Factor 0
hero2zero 3 years
Gove to scrap 'no touch' rule for teachers and limit fingering to 0
arrghgarry 3 years

two digits ...

Media journalists go on st 2
FormerlyAlOPecia 3 years
Miliband threw vote, claims Butt 0
GrahamB 3 years

Pakistani cricket supremo Ijaz Butt today claimed that it is "widely known" that David Miliband deliberately lost the Labour leadership election. Citing unnamed sources, Butt claimed that he had...

Google announces bold plans to reinvent the wheel 2
Dumbnews 3 years
Gucci Launch new range of Colostomy fashion bags 0
Rowly 3 years

The main advantage of the new range of bags from Gucci, is that they automatically get filled with shit, rather than having to keep, putting things in manually...

Disgruntled LibDems split to form "None Of The Above" Party. 0
the coarse whisperer 3 years

In a shock move today a quorum of members of the Liberal Democrat Party have put the coalition into doubt by splintering into a new parliamentary group. In a press statement the four MPs made the...

Fears over Union backing confirmed as Miliband arrested for stealing road sign 2
SingingHinny 3 years

More soon (may right this up as NiB candidate)...

Tories to train the homeless so they can improve their begging skills. 1
Stan Laurel 3 years

The Conservative Party showed their compassionate side yesterday when Iain Duncan Smith announced a series of training initiatives aimed at helping the homeless by improving their begging techniques....

Real Madrid in turmoil as players set up Dissident version 1
exigo 3 years
Police frustration with copycat suicides, plead for more originality. 6
bonjonelson 3 years

[more soon]...

Coloured stickers to be allocated to attendee's for Conservative conference to 0
Basil_B 3 years

indicate which party their from...

Perpetrator of copycat crime charged with plagiarism 1
Dumbnews 3 years
Tory conference agenda upsets Clegg as he's not included on it. 0
Basil_B 3 years
Stonehenge to be relocated to the Isle of Man to allow druid tax breaks 0
Basil_B 3 years
Beckham castrated to stem flow of accusations 1
SingingHinny 3 years

David Beckham has had his penis and testicles removed to prevent any new accusations of philandering. The celebrated footballer has been plagued by stories of extra marital affairs during his...

Planet in goldilocks zone of the universe cannot sustain life say three bears 0
Basil_B 3 years

'Some barstard has been in and taken it all while we were out ' said Daddy bear spokesman for the bears ' i'd forget any hopes of colonising this planet because some so and so has had away with...

Governement proposals to curb the excesses of the health and safety culture 0
Basil_B 3 years

delayed due to required risk assessment to be carried out on them...

Speed camera to be replaced with he's paid too much, lets tax him more camera 4
Basil_B 3 years

Home secretary Theresa May and Chancellor George Osbourne met today over a revolutionary new plan to revamp speed cameras into something that will assess the wealth of the driver when handing out the...

Sales of fisting gloves soar as Catholic Schools uphold repeal of No Touch law 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years
Compensation shake-up set to save NHS millions 0
hero2zero 3 years

So they cut the wrong leg off, look on the bright side, now you can have two false legs, why would you want compensation?...

Microsoft's share of search market doubles from 1% to 2% 0
Dumbnews 3 years
The Brazilian Government strongly denies it is sponsoring the Real IRA 0
arrghgarry 3 years

mas or menos...

Montgomerie Unhappy as Press Continually Ask the Whereabouts of his Personality 2
IABP 3 years

[Fore soon] The less than jovial Scot, who has more injunctions than Majors, blamed the loss of his personality on a mobile phone going off in the press room...

Hugh Dennis has a "faux pas" when doing voice over ..... 0
thackaray 3 years

.. for Germany's annoucement of end to it's WWI reparation payments. "How you being paying too much for your car insurance?" More soon...

Arundells to become a grocer's shop 0
roybland 3 years

Arundells, the home of former prime minister Sir Edward Heath, is to be a grocer's shop after its trustees decided the house was no longer financially viable as a visitor attraction. 'Arundells has...

Liam Fox concedes we need Trident "because I can't get a hard-on without it". 0
the coarse whisperer 3 years
Chinese rocket to put the Moon on Street View 0
Sinnick 3 years

Chinese scientists have today launched a rocket towards the Moon. The payload is secret, but our reporters have discovered that it comprises a large white van with a camera on top. The project...

Scientists find habitable, earth-like region, wtihin 20 miles of Birmingham, 0
bonjonelson 3 years
Beckham fucks prostitutes 0
bonjonelson 3 years

says a Liar (reports The Sun)...