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Syria Latest: UN Security Council order 2nd Crusade to leave Damascus 0
Immunis 10.02.12 5:43pm
Daniel Radcliffe faces 'toughest role' of actor who is interesting off-screen

Blossoming actor Daniel Radcliffe has received mixed reviews for his latest performance, in which he attempts to appear 'edgy' and interesting in real life. Since reprising the role of an...

10.02.12 5:35pm
Director of "Dwarf on shelf" denies low-budget plaigarism 0
antharrison 10.02.12 5:12pm
Snow Based Innuendo Celebrations at UK Insurance Company

There were celebrations at a Swindon Insurance company call cetre today when a lucky employee was officially declared the billionth person this week to make the medieval workplace winter double...

alessandro 10.02.12 4:56pm
Catholic Church Overhauls Rite of Ordination with multiple choice exam

In an unforeseen move the Catholic Church has today announced plans to streamline the ordination process. In what many see as an effort to increase numbers in the priesthood after a steady decline...

button 10.02.12 4:34pm
Cameron to send dodgy foreigner back to Jordan: Peter Andre "..not so keen."

I'm so, so sorry...

dvo4fun 10.02.12 4:20pm
New helium extinguisher 'puts the fun back in fire-fighting'

An innovative new fire extinguisher that uses helium to tackle unwanted flames has been hailed as 'a lot of fun' by safety fans. "Our new canned heat solution harnessess the 'helium triangle'",...

10.02.12 4:18pm
Notts Mother reunited with son after 6 years apart

There were tears of joy yesterday, as Julie Gamble, 49 from Nottingham, was reunited with her son Matt Topham who she has not been able to find for the past 6 years, despite living only a few minutes...

Marko 10.02.12 3:44pm
Silent and dark “The Artist II” released to critical acclaim

Director Michel Hazanavicius has described his delight at the critical acclaim received by his sequel to the highly successful film “The Artist”. “It is an epic that will never be bettered”...

antharrison 10.02.12 3:29pm
Red Ken riddled with homophobia 0
ronseal 10.02.12 1:40pm
Prince Harry defeats Taliban, shags Pippa and is home before breakfast 8
cinquecento 10.02.12 1:38pm
Ken Livingstone in new "Lib Dems riddled with straight people" row. 0
Zen 10.02.12 1:25pm
Prescott in Police Commissioner Race

Leading bookmaker reveals: My money's on the Police Comissioner...

alessandro 10.02.12 1:12pm
Internet close to running out of stupid, irritating domain names.

The internet is close to running out of stupid, irritating domain names that mean fuck-all to anyone, industry sources reported today. On the day Wigan-based entrepreneur Darren Stokes found himself...

Haywood Manley 10.02.12 12:59pm
Haywood Manley
Gay Labour MP Chris Bryant compliments Ken Livingstone on being a useless cunt 3
Sinnick 10.02.12 12:47pm
Crack found in A380's wings is the worlds largest drug bust, claim the CAA 1
Iamthestig 10.02.12 12:41pm
Redknapp blames his illiteracy for accepting the England job ..

Harry Redknapp today apologised to Tottenham fans for leaving White Hart Lane to take up the England Manager's job., Speaking to reporters outside his home, Redknapp said, "Everyone knows I write...

Gourd Almighty 10.02.12 12:31pm
Gourd Almighty
Argentinian Tango Hell

As the 30th Anniversary of the Falklands Island invasion approaches, British defence preparations on the island have escalated to unprecedented levels amidst rumours of an Argentine invasion. In a...

benrussell 10.02.12 12:25pm
New Banksy artwork found painted onto David Beckham's arse

Art experts are said to be ‘hugely excited’ after new adverts for clothing chain H&M revealed a new work by the reclusive artist Banksy, sprayed onto David Beckham’s arse. The adverts,...

The Paper Ostrich 10.02.12 11:48am
NHS could offer new treatment to fight obesity

Prominent surgeon, Charles Hyphen-Smythe, has come up with a cheaper, faster, and less invasive alternative to stomach stapling. This new procedure, known as mouth stapling, can be performed in just...

Smart Alex 10.02.12 11:45am
BBC apologise after listings typo offers a new series of "Homs Under The Hammer"

More soon. Although there may be more than one joke possible here...

MikeA4 10.02.12 11:37am
Son of Barnabas
Anfield cat on short list for new England Manager

Kenny, the homeless cat is available as he is currently 'between engagements' and already has an off shore bank account in his name...

Ian Searle 10.02.12 10:44am
Ian Searle
"Snow White and seven dwarves" deeply offensive, complains Diane Abbott

Labour MP Dianne Abbott has once again spoken out fearlessly in support of abused minorities, sparking a new row in theatreland. "It have come to my attention," said Ms Abbott yesterday "that there...

Son of Barnabas 10.02.12 10:37am
Son of Barnabas
Overweight Irish presenter to present SKY 1 Syria Special 'Aim On Homs' 0
charlies_hat 10.02.12 10:15am
David Cameron announces special 30th anniversary Falklands Conflict on 2nd April 0
Iamthestig 10.02.12 10:05am
Lottery winner "Looking forward to having a shave"

And employing a stylist and life coach...

Scroat 10.02.12 9:54am
UN admits they 'don't have enough troops' to surround Eamonn Homs 1
Perks 10.02.12 9:51am
Gourd Almighty
Diane Abbott protests that all-white snow misrepresents meteorological diversity 0
cinquecento 10.02.12 9:09am
U.S. President accuses Syria of 'outrageous bloodshed'

-now that’s satire...

John Ffitch-Rucker 10.02.12 9:01am
John Ffitch-Rucker
Escaped female goats arrive on island and set up nanny state 3
Nick McCarr 10.02.12 8:30am