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Stones to play Glas-Stannah-bury... 3
Tripod 28.03.13 12:36pm
Midfield Diamond
Gullibility meter ‘set for Spring launch’, says Apple...

The new device, to be worn on the wrist, will monitor the user’s susceptibility to hi-tech wizardry and their willingness to hand over hard-earned cash for every new gadget that comes on the market...

Tripod 28.03.13 12:30pm
2013th anniversary of Jesus getting banged up for crimes he never done

The 2013th anniversary of Jesus of Nazareth getting banged up for a crime he didn't do is to be marked with massive sales of confectionary that is so appalling that the EC refuses to recognise it as...

ronseal 28.03.13 12:25pm
David Milliband leaves politics to spend LESS time with his family. 2
Ian Searle 28.03.13 11:01am
Sports News: Boxing: Webber to Retyre after China

more soon....

BewsNiscuit 28.03.13 10:56am
Boat race wild card for University of Wolverhampton

With no history of competitive rowing, Wolverhampton are an outside shot for Sunday's boat race after they won a playing field flattening wild card entry to the prestigious event. Despite having no...

BAJDixon 28.03.13 9:42am
Pope to ask young offenders if they want to be washed 'there' as well 0
Idiot 28.03.13 9:41am
Catholic Church hit by podophilia scandal

Reports of widespread abuse of feet by Catholic priests threatens to engulf the Catholic Church barely two weeks after the election of Pope Francis. And the scandal is expected to reach the Pope...

roybland 28.03.13 9:25am
Pope Francis or Pope Benedict - which is better?

There's only one way to find out. ..FIGHT!...

deskpilot3 28.03.13 9:18am
Taxes to rise for benefit claimants, pensioners, families with children....

students, single parent families, co-habiting couples, over 75's, lesbians, asylum seekers, toddlers, white-van-man, the self employed and chocolate lovers. In a separate move, MPs have voted...

deskpilot3 28.03.13 9:16am
Street cleaners celebrate as Paula Radcliffe stops running

More to follow...

apepper 28.03.13 8:56am
Cyprus hopes to reopen banks in time for the start of the Bank Holiday 1
medici2471 28.03.13 7:22am
Three-way IVF treatment ‘not as good as it sounds’ admits HFEA

Men’s interest in the proposed three-way IVF treatment cooled considerably overnight when it was revealed egg fertilisation would not necessarily include a sex romp with the wife’s sister or one...

Gerontius 28.03.13 12:27am
Greeks slow down the web to prevent run on internet banks.

Unhappy customers retaliate with Trojans...

deskpilot3 28.03.13 12:25am
Poet laureate admits she doesn't have a clue what to put in royal baby poem

As the royal birth draws ever closer, Poet Laureate Carol Ann Duffy is feeling more and more like a fourth-former with a homework assignment that's never going to get done. For she freely admits...

sydalg 28.03.13 12:24am
Hot cross bun retailer goes into administration after disastrous 2 for 1 offer

Nationwide hot cross bun retailer Hot Cross Bun World has called in the administrators after a disastrous Easter period that saw falling sales and plummeting revenues, putting the future of 160...

ianslat 28.03.13 12:20am
Eurozone Chiefs to steal cuddly toys from children.

In a desperate move to raise more money. A spokesman explained "We estimate that there is around 17 billion Euros worth of teddys and little pandas, monkeys etc in the arms of our little girls right...

Flash! Aa-aaaa! 28.03.13 12:19am
Bald kid, 7, “under no illusion about what that trip to Disneyland means”... 11
Tripod 28.03.13 12:19am
Powerpoint accused of killing OHP 3
Ian Searle 27.03.13 11:12pm
Iinnterrrrnnnetttt ssllloooww doowwwnnn bbblllaaammeddd oonnn ccyybbberrr aatack 0
topfotogmw 27.03.13 11:10pm
Optimistic homosexual sees arse half full

Lowering the tone since 1843 ....

Yikes 27.03.13 11:00pm
Paddy Berzinski
Paula Radcliffe retires: “Now, if I shit in the street, it’s just for fun"... 2
Tripod 27.03.13 10:59pm
J Vine
Leading Mastectomy Surgeon Struck Off had Tanks for the Mammaries 0
Big Ben 27.03.13 9:36pm
Big Ben
Man attacks woman he met in real world 1
Dumbnews 27.03.13 9:27pm
Big Ben
Leaking News : Great Gravy Train Robber pisses pants at funeral.

A retired replacement driver was recently spotted by train spotters at a funeral of one of the apparently "Great Train Robbers" with what appeared to be dried gravy granules in his underpants, his...

Tess Goes 27.03.13 9:17pm
Big Ben
Lambs criticised over irresponsible ‘sleigh ride’ prank

Lambs on the Isle of man have been criticised by rescue workers for feigning injury and frost bite just so they can take a ride on a sleigh., Some lambs were seen burying themselves back in the snow...

Gerontius 27.03.13 9:12pm
Big Ben
Boy with a bum for a face 'made to look like an arse'.

A Channel 5 documentary due to be aired tonight has been criticised for putting a stain on the reputation of Billy Bum-Cheek, also known as 'the boy with a bum for a face'. The documentary team...

Lens Cap 27.03.13 9:10pm
Big Ben
Big growth in scapegoat population survey shows

The number of scapegoats in their natural habitats around the Downing Street area of South West London has increased according to a Scapegoat Society survey. 'The recent release of several...

roybland 27.03.13 9:09pm
Huhne denies feeling nervous as fellow prisoners vote him Britain's Sexiest Man 0
sydalg 27.03.13 8:50pm
Farmers' joy as lost new-born lambs located, rescued, sent to abattoir 2
Oxbridge 27.03.13 8:45pm