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Alex Ferguson to join River Plate. 0
Ostsee 4 years
Lewis Hamilton to miss British GP to attend Speed Awareness Course 2
Des and Stan 4 years

The wheels have come off the meticulous planning of top Formula One racing team McLaren for the British Grand Prix after being informed that their ace driver, Lewis Hamilton, would be spending next...

Gillette to Cease Operations Following Perfection of the Razor 7
Fox100 4 years

The world was shocked today by the announcement that The Gillette Company is to cease operations following its perfection of the shaving razor. CEO Michael Proctor announced that there was no need...

DSK accuser completely maid up her story. 8
rikkor 4 years
Ed Miliband finds his feet. 0
deskpilot3 4 years

Turns out, they were just slightly south of his knees...

Murray's Wimbledon defeat 'down to Mum's oestrogen levels' say scientists 0
Dick Everyman 4 years

Andy Murray’s defeat in the Wimbledon semi-finals was caused say a leading team of scientists, on the fluctuating levels of Judy Murray’s oestrogen during his game. The Scientists, from the Max...

Oxfam unwrapped replace goat dung gift with pulped Da Vinci code 0
charlies_hat 4 years

Tennis courts empty nationwide as Wimbledon finishes 0
Basil_B 4 years
Q. What do you get if you cross a lawnmower with a war criminal? 4
deskpilot3 4 years

A. Atco Miladic. Boom Boom!...

BBC sack reporter for failure to deploy sufficient egg puns 15
button 4 years

The BBC has dismissed one of its most experienced correspondents for his failure to deploy the BBC standardised egg puns. The Daily Express reports that Geoff Jones 53, who joined the BBC as a...

Aldi says it could feed 1.3 million Ethiopians for 6 months with £38m 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Broken toe named as Klitschko’s next challenger after it defeats Haye 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Mladic plan to boycott tribunal delivers a slap in the face to prosecutors 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
New Slant On An Old Slogan...... 0
Jesse Bigg 4 years

.."I'm backing the Tories - right over the cliff."...

Diana 'still dead' at 50 1
Oxbridge 4 years
Cabinet baffled by sudden bathtime policy U-turn 2
FraserWords 4 years

Senior domestic officials in East Anglia were last night left baffled by a sudden and dramatic policy U-turn., George Hill, three, a key decision-maker at 3 Acacia Avenue in Norwich, told a press...

Egyptian sailor refuses to admit he fell into a river 0
Leeboy007 4 years

colleagues say he's in denial...

Nadal duped into signing British citizenship application form by Judy Murray 3
Basil_B 4 years

Rafa Nadal's position of world tennis no.1 was put under serious threat today as a signed off application form for his British Citizenship was recieved at the Home Office this morning. It's thought...

Government to add 'lazy racism' to National Curriculum 9
4 years

The government is to make lazy racism a compulsory part of the national curriculum from September. Secretary for work and pensions Ian Duncan Smith made the announcement whilst on a trip to Spain,...

Stephen Fries Up Irish Presidential Election 0
malk 4 years

Political Pundits across Ireland are saying famous British comedian and actor Stephen Fry may just have tipped the scales of the October Irish Presidential elections. Yesterday on Twitter Fry...

Dr Who says Tardis rage followed 300 years of travel without a bowel movemet 0
ronseal 4 years

. I didn't save this properly and can' remember what i wrote...

Governments Around the World Implement Reform because of Facebook Groups 1
Fox100 4 years

In an unprecedented announcement, many of the worlds most powerful governments have stated they will put an end to unpopular policies due to the weight of opinion conveyed through social networking...

EXCLUSIVE Interview with Ed Miliband 2
Edward Cain 4 years

For the perusal and consumption of NewsBiscuit writers, here's the transcript of my interview with not-Ed Miliband (which I originally posted over at ):,...

Liam Broady moving to Dundee 'immediately' 1
allmyownstunts 4 years
Cross party agreement on converting Isle of Wight into giant pensioner composter 0
Ironduke 4 years

solving NHS overspend, Pensions shortfall, and providing an environmentally friendly renewable energy supply. [i]I think this idea has more potential than I can give itI'm afraid the funny just will...

Greek MPs pining economic recovery on € millions rollover on Friday 1
simonjmr 4 years

Greek MP's today voted unanimously for the implementation of austerity measures on the provision that investments are made into trying to secure this weeks €136m € millions rollover. More soon...

5USA admits concern for the future as Seagal gets older 0
Mrblacker 4 years

The age of martial arts practitioner and actor Steven Seagal could have a dramatic effect on the viability of the digital TV channel 5USA, according to a leaked internal report. The document,...

MI5 warns terrorists have developed answer to 'Did you pack this yourself' quiz 3
ronseal 4 years

Highly sophisticated terrorist fanatics have found a way around the 'Did you pack this yourself' question, which has kept the peace for decades in Britain's under siege airports. BOLLOCKS. I'M...

Brown Fury - The story of one man's battle to maintain the dogshit bins 20
4 years

Joe Wilkins is a man who lives on the edge of society. He works alone, keeping the streets of Surrey free from a hidden menace. Ever-alert, always down-wind, John is the silent mercenary who empties...

Legislators to adopt ‘knee-jerk emotive response’ policy 3
fernandomando 4 years

In the light of media hysteria and emotional complaints at various poorly reported news stories, David Cameron has agreed that ‘lessons will be learned’ in Parliament when it comes to debates on...