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Darth Vader hoping to add Nobel Peace prize to his recently awarded Oscar 0
simonjmr 15.11.11 11:02am
simonjmr
Aussie medics baffled by cause of Freddie Starr's illness 1
medici2471 15.11.11 10:19am
Rootin Tootin
Steven Segal to take over running of London Police

Responibilities for running an increasingly lawless capital are to be given to the smoothest man in Hollywood, it was annouced last night. His buttery smooth voice, A-List slicked hair, and martial...

0
Shandy 15.11.11 9:32am
Shandy
Ground-to-air missiles on standby for London Olympics, but Trident misses out...

in ticket ballot...

0
ianslat 15.11.11 9:13am
ianslat
Proposed "right to sack Chief Constables" supported by John Terry 0
dvo4fun 15.11.11 8:56am
dvo4fun
Missing star Neil Morrissey “is considerable danger to society”

The 55 year old Men Behaving Badly star, who has been on the run since Saturday, has been linked to the banned underground Real Ale organisation CAMRA. ...

0
Newsquelch 15.11.11 8:52am
Newsquelch
Government to run out of ministers by November 2012

According to the office of national statistics, the government is using up ministers faster than they can be replaced and will run out before the end of 2012. "The rate of resignations is...

0
apepper 15.11.11 8:20am
apepper
Concern that up to a third of prospective students too stupid to understand fees

November 14th was Student Finance Day, organised to help prospective university students understand the new fees system. Events took place up and down the country, after shocking survey results...

8
Vertically Challenged Giant 15.11.11 7:17am
kga6
New Italian leader's penis promises restraint.

In a specially arranged press conference, the penis of newly appointed prime minister Mario Monti vowed not to emulate the excesses of its predecessor. It also refused to comment on any of the...

0
nickb 15.11.11 6:01am
nickb
Reality Couple With Too Many Kids Expecting... Again

"Fucking is ace. We really enjoy it, and we want everyone to know that contraception is for idiots." They added, "Having a reasonable number of kids and being responsible about the earth's limited...

0
moggies 15.11.11 4:05am
moggies
Torture Inquiry: 'We'll get the truth from witnesses by using "waterboarding"&#0 0
thackaray 14.11.11 11:36pm
thackaray
Woburn man to donate testicle to Nick Clegg. More soon. 3
Al OPecia 14.11.11 11:33pm
dvo4fun
Arab Drug Killer waved through Bristol Airport security with "Allo Moi Luvver" 0
Drylaw 14.11.11 10:38pm
Drylaw
Capello expecting Sweden to play with flat pack four 8
charlies_hat 14.11.11 10:10pm
CJWorkman
BP discover fifth pipeline leak 0
medici2471 14.11.11 10:03pm
medici2471
Police praise Chav-curfew as 'I'm a Celebrity..' returns. 0
MADJEZ 14.11.11 9:51pm
MADJEZ
Spanish giant killing sends town bonkers in Little England on the Handcart

Minnows Little England on the Handcart have gone football bonkers, after the local team pulled off a shock giant killing against might Spain from the premier league of world football. OK, our goal...

1
ronseal 14.11.11 9:35pm
ronseal
Google to close whilst they 'search for answers' to soaring search times.

The Internet search giant Google have announced they are to close down all of their search operations, after it admitted search times had slowed over the last 5 years. The search times, which are...

3
Perks 14.11.11 8:54pm
Missiles may improve viewing figures for 2012 Olympics 1
medici2471 14.11.11 8:53pm
Perks
Passenger terror as Ryanair plane circles above Turkey for over 8 hours.

They might be giants of the air industry, but the young pilot and elderly co-pilot argue about landing at Istanbul or Constantinople...

1
Bryan with a Y 14.11.11 8:19pm
godly1966
Cowell fury as Minty Challis releases re-mix of 'Caravan of Love' for Christmas.

Minty to travel the country to promote single...

0
Bryan with a Y 14.11.11 7:41pm
Bryan with a Y
Jordan calls on Assad to resign. André thinks he should stay. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 14.11.11 7:39pm
dominic_mcg
X-Factor finally remembers to put the Kitty out! 0
Ian Searle 14.11.11 7:33pm
Ian Searle
'Clearasil' shares in spot of bother as teenagers stay indoors.

Company heads pore over latest results...

0
Bryan with a Y 14.11.11 7:20pm
Bryan with a Y
Noddy gets a Holder himself and escapes annual slaying early.

Legendary fuzzface, Noddy Holder awoke this this morning to the sound of "IT'S CHRISTMAS" on local radio station SH1 TFM, and knew it was time to pack his platforms. Despite earning around £1.25...

0
Bryan with a Y 14.11.11 7:05pm
Bryan with a Y
Sir Jimmy Saville’s coffin encased in concrete “just to be sure” 1
Duncan Biscuit 14.11.11 5:37pm
Runestone Cowboy
Evo-stick announce business is insolvent 0
charlies_hat 14.11.11 4:55pm
charlies_hat
In today's Daily Star:

Katie Price answers your questions on thermodynamics & Planck's blackbody law...

2
vertical 14.11.11 4:49pm
vertical
Hacking probe judge denies being a puppet. Nation can clearly see the strings

http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/56696000/jpg/_56696950_-4.jpg...

0
grottymonty 14.11.11 3:42pm
grottymonty
Victims of Lloyd Grossman sauce botulism to undergo keyhole surgery 2
Duncan Biscuit 14.11.11 2:59pm
charlies_hat