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CON-dem Government Announces New National Lottery Rules 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

Only Dave's mates in Kensington and Chelsea can play...

Lab technician kept constantly amused by witty retorts 0
MrChigleysAunt 3 years
Sword-Swallowing, Tory MP Dies 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

Sword-swallowing, Tory MP dies due to 'cutlass' accent...

Football Players Hiding in Bars and Clubs to be Press Ganged into England Squad 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years

'We've decided to make them an offer they can't refuse', said a Mr 'Big' Tony, a troubleshooter, who has recently arrived from Sicily at the request of the England Coaching Team. 'We just want the...

World of statistic in shock as ONS employee accepts bribes on camera 0
3 years

The world of statistics gathering was reeling today following a News of the World sting in which an employee of the Office of National Statistics was secretly filmed accepted £150,000 to release...

BBC editors desperate to maintain interest in Pakistan invent cricket scandal 0
la maga 3 years

After weeks of flooding in Pakistan well-meaning BBC editors, concerned that public interest in the disaster is waning, have invented a cricketing scandal in a desperate attempt to focus attention on...

Tesco Express staff unaware that 7am Sunday booze shoppers are high as kites 0
la maga 3 years
Mine disaster may have been caused by The Hood to get pictures of Thunderbird 1 0
Ian Searle 3 years
Spending cuts spell end of free exorcisms on NHS 3
Barrel o Biscuits 3 years

Labour's shadow occult minister, Ed Balls, has denounced the government's "betrayal" of the playthings of Satan after examination of spending plans revealed a 90% cut in funding for the thousands of...

Lib Dems trapped underground for months 0
thogg 3 years

It has recently discovered that the Lib Dems, trapped underground and feared to be dead, are infact alive and well. Nick Cleggs furious digging since the election has backfired spectacuarly when a...

Cat Woman Still in Hiding as Millions Search Wheelie Bins 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years
Big Brother house a success for witness protection program. 1
MADJEZ 3 years

Police have been praised after 'hiding' 10 important witnesses in plain sight for the last ten weeks. The people in the house have gone completely unnoticed by the press and the public and have...

As Gordon ramsays empire collapses he launches a search for new swear words 4
arrghgarry 3 years
Jason Manford to be digitally added to BBC repeats in bid to raise his profile. 0
MADJEZ 3 years

Much more of him soon...

Physician baffled why no one responds to his penis enlargement emails 2
Dumbnews 3 years
'Bitch wouldn't turn the car around' claims Blue's Lee Ryan in court. 0
MADJEZ 3 years
Public outrage at discovery of something so dull as betting on cricket. 0
MADJEZ 3 years
Heavy metal no longer the Devil's music. "I've matured." says Prince of Darkness 3
3 years

The heavy metal world is in shock tonight following Satan's announcement that the loud, guitar-based music is no longer his music of choice. "It suited me when I was younger. Songs about death, war,...

Court upholds right of footballer not to be identified as an England player 1
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Botched tear duct op leaves Anne Robinson 'the leakiest wink' 3
dicky37 3 years

[More soon]...

Radical Rabbi Calls For Teddy Bears to Roast in Hell 1
Dun Dunkin 3 years

The spiritual leader who calls all Palestinians evil, who said secular people were "fools" who behave like "animals and that those murdered in the Holocaust were a reincarnation of sinners from past...

Millibands silent over ‘No Balls’ scam 1
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Putting your face somewhere dark, smelly and damp also known as bog snorkelling 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Benefits clampdown as rooftop snipers to be positioned outside every Job Centre 6
Ludicity 3 years

New rules introduced by the Department for Work and Pensions mean that anyone entering a Job Centre will now have to do so under a hail of bullets. ‘Genuine jobseekers have absolutely nothing to...

For Victoria Blunt the pennies are starting to drop ,the insistence of 0
arrghgarry 3 years

holidays in Brighton ,his Vaginophobia,always insisting on the back door and his love of Katie Price ,she wonders how many ,more are out there .She does have the upper hand though by saving all the...

Chilean Officials Deny Link to "Armageddon" and "The Core" Actors Disappearance 0
mugwump 3 years
Fabulous new BGT singer destined for fame and fortune Lesley Boyd prefers not to 2
arrghgarry 3 years

take on a nickname like Subo...

BGT talent Mr Methane who simon Cowell thought was a disgusting animal 0
arrghgarry 3 years

strongly denied today that his performance on the programme was enhanced by Autofart...

Hansie Cronje Cricketer of the Year Award shortlist revealed 0
IABP 3 years

Asif, Butt, Amir, Akmal...

Police say Cock Robin may have known his killer 1
ronseal 3 years