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HSBC to launch "dodgy bank product" insurance cover for only £9.99 a month

High Street bank, HSBC, has launched a new insurance to protect investors from the cost of mis-sold financial products. Speaking at the launch of the product, known informally as "Vunera-buy" UK...

hansens-scar 05.12.11 2:15pm
"Up to £25 Christmas tip quite legal" say Postal workers "But no cheques please"

More later...

dvo4fun 05.12.11 2:12pm
Essex fly-over unveiled as training location for Olympic shot-putters

Sebastian Coe has hailed the preparations for next year's Olympics to be a great success after several "yoof" were seen throwing concrete blocks from motorway fly-overs. "We said we were going to...

hansens-scar 05.12.11 2:05pm
Ofsted declare "Satisfactory" schools to be "Unsatisfactory"

New head of Ofsted, Sir Michael Willishaw, has declared war on "coasting" schools by stating that Satisfactory is not satisfactory. In a similar twist of linguistic logic he has also ruled that...

hansens-scar 05.12.11 1:40pm
' contemporary art goes missing'

'you could have swore it was there when i left, this was the statement that night watchman derek earthenware told police when there was a reported art theft at the tate modern last night, 'how on...

artistnealehowells 05.12.11 1:29pm
Security fears for MOD after list of their Secret Santas found left on a train 0
Ian Searle 05.12.11 1:15pm
Ian Searle
EU downgrade turkey and chestnuts in an attempt to boost Brussels

Traditional Christmas dinner is under attack from the EU. They want turkey and the trimmings to be largely replaced by brussel sprouts...

apepper 05.12.11 1:07pm
Panda's 'very well' but hungover after first night in Edinburgh. 0
simonjmr 05.12.11 11:36am
Kangaroo’s testicle wins I’m a Celebrity

Viewers were left stunned when one of the meals from the Bush Tucker trials was voted 'King of the Jungle'...

Ian Searle 05.12.11 11:16am
Ian Searle
BNP incensed as UK Border strikes fail to stop Chinese immigrants to Scotland 0
Ian Searle 05.12.11 11:14am
Ian Searle
NHS give go ahead to sharing patient records with Dr Frankenstien 0
Ian Searle 05.12.11 11:12am
Ian Searle
Carol Thatcher to play Meryl Streep in star biopic 1
nickb 05.12.11 11:03am
Man dies trying to free new scissors from plastic packaging, without scissors. 2
Al OPecia 05.12.11 10:27am
Al OPecia
Sex Offending Still Dominated By Men

Women's Equality Groups around the world were dismayed yesterday by the release of new statistical information which reveals that only 4% of sex crimes are committed by women. Despite it being an...

Textbook 05.12.11 9:55am
Man finally invents the 'Leg Jumper'

The jumper, sweater, guernsey or pullover has existed as long as modern history can remember. A thicker, secondary layer, worn over a shirt, or shirt and vest, it delivers an extra layer of...

kga6 05.12.11 8:07am
John Ffitch-Rucker
Police brought riots on themselves by dressing provocatively

They were gagging for it claims witness...

Ian Searle 05.12.11 7:46am
Ian Searle
Gene identified that causes you to keep replaying your new favorite song 0
Dumbnews 05.12.11 2:47am
Conspiracy theorists claim everything on snopes is a hoax 3
Dumbnews 05.12.11 1:08am
Clarkson apologises - "I have no problem with striking public servants" 2
Username 04.12.11 10:00pm
Viewers reluctantly accept new digital ‘BBC Sorry’ channel

The BBC has announced plans for a new digital channel, specifically designed to apologise for all of the popular monopoly’s output. BBC Sorry will be available in the new year, its launch timed to...

04.12.11 8:39pm
Panda mistakenly eats Bamboo planted to off-set China flight. 2
Milo Shame 04.12.11 8:31pm
Woman quits job as mobile hairdresser after consistently poor reception

[More soon]...

dicky37 04.12.11 8:16pm
Scotland prepares for panda arrival; deep fried bamboo waiting

More to follow...

apepper 04.12.11 4:05pm
Al OPecia
EC ruling on ancient grazing rights sees dairy farming return to Hyde Park

Ancient grazing rights are to be respected in Britain's capital city, following a landmark decision by the European Court of Justice. George Humbert took the matter to Europe after finding a legal...

04.12.11 3:02pm
BBC send Jeremy Clarkson to Gobi desert

The BBC have sent Jeremy Clarkson to the Gobi Desert; a spokesman explained, "it's not for a programme, it just seemed a good idea."...

apepper 04.12.11 1:57pm
Jason Plato mourns loss of mentor.

Mr Onassis unavailable for comment...

John Ffitch-Rucker 04.12.11 12:18pm
John Ffitch-Rucker
Oxford Street closed to poor to help avoid 'crushing debt'

Oxford Street in Central London was closed to the poor yesterday amid fears of crushing debt. Further such closures may now be in place every weekend in the run up to Christmas. 'We have spent 11...

Perks 04.12.11 11:37am
BBC forced to deny Clarkson ITV transfer rumours.

The Director-General of the BBC, Mark Thompson, has denied newspaper reports that Jeremy Clarkson, the BBC’s highly-paid right-wing wrecking ball, has submitted a transfer request following...

SingingHinny 04.12.11 11:34am
Siri fails to find the best little whorehouse in Texas 2
Ostsee 04.12.11 11:30am
Despite multi-tasking claims, wife still can't do headache & sex at same time 1
Smart Alex 04.12.11 10:32am