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Queen celebrates "a modern monarchy by handing out Maundy money 0
virtuallywill 4 years
“It just won’t bloody flush”, reports woman trapped in dinner party toilet. 17
DrTurmoil 4 years

Amy Higgins was in a race against time with the cistern of a lavatory in Surrey yesterday, after a single flush at an intimate dinner party for six proved itself not up to the job. Several minutes...

Cruise finishes early after the fat lady sinks. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 4 years
Increase in failing eyesight and hairy palm numbers amongst 18 - 24 year old men 0
simonjmr 4 years
Polished turd is bookies favourite to win Britain's got talent 1
simonjmr 4 years
Due to recession the Queen distributes Aldi vouchers instead of Maundy Money. 0
dominic_mcg 4 years
Grandmother sea rescue - Just a drop in the ocean. 0
MADJEZ 4 years
Mobile phone services expect system meltdown tomorrow 1
Pinhead 4 years

as millions of workers text 'C U Nxt Tue' to their bosses...

75% of 18-24 yr old porn users amazed at their friends lack of staying power 0
charlies_hat 4 years
Bank Holiday sunshine forecast already causing congestion in news media 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Cameron to wear tails for wedding after Clegg agrees to hold on to them 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Dame Judi's 'I'm not bi-polar' shame 0
John Wiltshire 4 years

In an emotional interview today, Dame Judi Dench revealed that she is not bi-polar., Tearfully, she confessed: 'I find this hard to admit, but I've never been bi-polar. Or lesbian. Or taken drugs.'...

Royal couple 'Delighted' with Bolton farmer's commemorative black pudding 0
antharrison 4 years

Buckingham Palace has confirmed that Prince William and Kate Middleton are 'Delighted and overwhelmed' by the special royal wedding black pudding produced by Bolton farmer Fred McGee. McGee's secret...

One monkey with one typewriter writes Katie Price's autobiography 17
Danny 4 years

and it was an improvement on the original book...

Snooker player Marco Fu surprised by reaction when asked to spell his surname 0
antharrison 4 years
No way have we got a medieval mindset says chief of Muslims Against Crusades 0
ronseal 4 years

Speaking from the top desk of his wooden boat, flanked by teams of crack archers and carrying a vicious looking mace, Abdul Bin Laden furiously denied any medieval mindset pervades his organisation,...

Wedding fever sparks unprecedented demand for early-onset male pattern baldness 1
4 years

Is that funnier?...

Kate's Coat of Arms to Include Golden Pick and Shovel. 0
LostLad 4 years

Kate Middleton's newly commissioned family coat-of-arms is to feature a golden pick and shovel, to symbolise the family's rise from lowly Durham mining stock, to the very pinnacle of the British...

On 1st anniversary of spill, BP sue the big boy who did it and ran away. 0
MADJEZ 4 years

Deny gratuitous PR campaigning...

"Football giving Sectarian violence a bad image" - UFF 1
BillyBitzer 4 years
Feathers ruffled as cormorants banned from shag-fest 4
Pinhead 4 years
Spelling mistake gives away Chinese conterfieted Jacob's Cleek. 1
beau-jolly 4 years

That, and the fact it didn't taste like piss...

"Dip-dip-dog-shit-you-are-not-it 0
Pinhead 4 years

, and then you move on to those that are left. It's a piece of fucking piss for god's sake" Nick Clegg struggling to explain AV to the rest of his party...

Protest groups trapped in endless recursive counter-demonstration loop 10
PeteH 4 years

Chaos developed today after Muslims Against Crusades, a radical Islamist group, announced their intention to hold a demonstration outside Westminster Abbey during the forthcoming royal wedding...

Speculation grows that Cameron may dress as rabbit for Royal Wedding 0
gregle 4 years

Speculation in the press that PM Daid Cameron may make a break with protocol and attend the Royal Wedding dressed as a rabbit is increasing following revelations that a request to this effect has...

UK troops 'only in Misrata to plan street parties' 0
ianslat 4 years

William Hague has strongly denied that UK troops being sent into Misrata represents boots on the ground, arguing that their mission is solely to aid locals in their preparations for street parties to...

Dutch Originals to market baldness cure: Hair apparent 0
beau-jolly 4 years

More soon, honest...

Siberian dead cat autopsy 'probably a fake', experts conclude 1
Gary Stanton 4 years

Video footage of an alleged autopsy on a dead cat found in a remote wooded region of Siberia is probably bullshit, scientists concluded last night. The film, which has garnered more than five...

The k.d. Lang caterpiller finally transforms into the Alec Baldwin moth 0
simonjmr 4 years

Or the PaulHeatonoftheBeautifulSouth butterfly. More soon...

I can't believe it's not butter proven to actually be butter 6
Screenie 4 years

A gentleman who simply couldn't believe it wasn't butter has proven that in fact it is, using his own personal lab in the spare room of his bungalow in Greenwich and two mice. He announced his...