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England players thought flag of St. George was match instructions 0
Iamthestig 3 years

"We saw the straight lines and criss-cross shape and thought that was how Fab's wanted us to play." Said Aaron Lennon at a press conference yesterday. "I kept saying to Gareth Barry that running...

England will lose next world war, pundits predict 1
jp1885 3 years

English pride has suffered yet another devastating blow today, after a leaked MOD report revealed that the nation is 'more than likely' to face a humiliating defeat, should a world war break out in...

Piers Morgan voted off Celia Walden halfway through honeymoon 10
Darkbill 2.0 3 years

Former Daily Mirror editor Piers Morgan has been unceremoniously gonged off while attempting to consummate his marriage to long term girlfriend Celia Walden. A trio of celebrity judges considered...

Funeral Director sues NHS for saving lives 7
Mrblacker 3 years

An undertaker in Oxford is taking the National Health Service to court, citing their 'unending efforts to save lives' as a reason behind his business going to the wall. Stephens and Sons have been...

Office 2010 upgrade "Definitely worth it" says user community 1
antharrison 3 years

A spokesman for the Microsoft Office user group today confirmed that upgrading to the 2010 version was definitely worth the effort and investment, especially when compared to remaining with the 2007...

England team planning next match - a friendly with Iceland. 1
andhrimnir 3 years

If they win, they are hoping to play Asda then Tesco...

Miss Cornwall turns out to be 84 0
PluckyMunky 3 years

'We were all fooled', said the head judge, Bert Rampton, 'she's a very young looking 84'...

Bury man burried in berries 1
PluckyMunky 3 years

Brian Kendle, 32, accidentally fell into the cranberry hopper at the Cranberry Prostate Juice factory. He said, 'I don't know how I would have felt if I'd ended up in a bottle.'...

Miss Cornwall judge denies “sucker” label stating it was "quite the reverse" 0
Rorschach 3 years
Ageing hippy no longer tripping-now been told he's on a journey 0
ramblesnake 3 years

heavy rain soon...

St George 'in talks' with other countries 0
Rorschach 3 years
CCTV camera awarded Queen’s medal for distinguished service. 1
Stan Laurel 3 years

A closed circuit TV camera was recognised by the award of the Queen’s Police Medal for its outstanding contribution to police services at a ceremony yesterday. The camera, promoted to Sergeant last...

Lumpy custard main cause of cancer, researchers identify in new study 4
PluckyMunky 3 years

'Everyone likes a tart', said Professor Jacob Newbury of Bangor University, 'But it is the lumpy custard that causes all the health problems'. 'Stick to a cream', he suggested...

HD pictures of Earth's gravity lost by ITV 0
Ludicity 3 years
Russian Ring exposed. Catholic priests on stand by 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years
Sinister incompetent makes a left pigs ear of things 0
MrChigleysAunt 3 years
'Anti-gang' noise device 'more trouble than it's worth' 0
QorbeQ 3 years

A device which emits the irritating sound of Daniel O'Donnell to disperse gangs may be in breach of human decency, according to a report for the Council of Europe. It says the Majella, named after...

Britain to join the Euro, just as soon as Greece, Portugal, Spain... 0
Griffin 3 years

Ireland Italy, Belgium, Holland, France and Germany have left. 'We look forward to close economic co-operation and monetary union with Estonia and Iceland' says whoever is the Chancellor of the...

Just think, only 2 years to the Olympics. OMG. More soon. 1
Ostsee 3 years
German manager! The answer to England's World Cup woes? 0
hero2zero 3 years

Football officials, today began the frantic search for a German to manage England's National Team, thought to be the best way to motivate the vanquished players...

'Bangor was shite' admits lead singer 11
edward hack 3 years

Cathy Lesurf, lead singer of English folk band Fiddlers Dram has admitted that the day they went to Bangor back in the summer of 1979, it was in fact overcast and the day was largely ruined by a...

Capello Admits Key Error 0
Thesaurusrex 3 years

Capello "Not the team I saw in practice" - turns out he was watching the Germans...

John Darwin (canoe man) is glad that his ancestors were not as stupid as him 0
arrghgarry 3 years

Another message smuggled out of prison gives a warning to his sons ,don`t be greedy because adages are true to life ,you can not have your kayak and eat it ...

Scientists deny experimenting with drugs 0
Altar Ego 3 years
Man sues japanese company for misleading him about Coy Carp 0
arrghgarry 3 years

When I first bought them they were young and I had no problems but on entering adulthood they became right show off bastards.They were jumping over the little bridge pestering the other Aquatic life...

Pet dog’s death impacts global economy 0
antharrison 3 years

When Molly, a nine year old and harmless British bulldog from Stockport passed away last week, its owner Arnold Morrison had little appreciation as to the full impact of its departure on the wider...

England flags were meant for cricket team - not football team' reveal supporters 1
edward hack 3 years

Aussie no-longer-rules...

Cappello refutes claim his lack of english caused communication issues with team 0
Basil_B 3 years

by replying ' half past nine' when asked the question at a home coming press conference today...

Football Association issues Blame Statement for World Cup exit 0
Mrblacker 3 years

The football associations of Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland, the british press and FIFA are to blame for England's defeat at the hands of Germany in the World Cup, according to executives at...

Zadok the secound 2
stretchercase 3 years

doesnt no what globemedia is everybody,ha ha,whats globemedia?whats globemedia?ha ha,hes the only person who doesnt no what globemedia is,ohhhhhhhhh he makes me laugh,whats globemedia he said ha...