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Who killed LH? cliffhanger to be answered in forthcoming episode 0
roybland 24.11.12 10:34am
Man shrugs off scratch on his iPhone 5

A twenty-one year old Brighton man has shrugged off his discovery of a scratch on the back of his iPhone 5. 'I can't say I'm freaked out about it,' Brendan Bates told friends. 'One can expect to...

roybland 24.11.12 10:01am
Osborne to introduce Swearing Tax

In an attempt to get Britain’s beleaguered finances under control, Chancellor George Osborne has revealed that a Swearing Tax is to be introduced in the next Budget. At a basic rate of 25p per...

Landfill 24.11.12 10:01am
Controversy as Damien Hirst unveils his Trafalgar Square 4th plinth installation

pinxit 24.11.12 9:55am
Shard to get 90ft fairy from Norway.

Mayor Boris Johnson has written to the King of Norway telling him not to bother with sending a tree for Trafalgar Square this year "now we've got the Shard". "I don't want to sound ungrateful but...

Boutros 24.11.12 9:51am
Chelsea board outline sacking strategy

Chelsea football club have today outlined their long-term strategy for sacking managers, less than two hours after sacking current muse, Roberto Di Matteo. In an interview with our business...

Old Hat 24.11.12 8:49am
Justin Welby sex change plot to defeat synod anti-women vote

The next Archbishop of Canterbury may undergo a sex change in a plan to overturn the recent Church of England vote to prevent women becoming bishops. 'Normally we would have to wait years to get the...

roybland 24.11.12 8:46am
UN to assemble crack team of Internet commenters to solve Arab/Israeli problem.

The United Nations has announced that they are seeking a team of internet commenters to assist them with a bid to solve the Arab/Israeli problem once and for all., Secretary General Spoony Banks...

Gaz 24.11.12 8:44am
UKIP couple lose foster children who 'might grow up like Nigel Farage' 0
roybland 24.11.12 8:12am
Starbucks introduce new "Fairtax" coffees

Starbucks announced that following on from the success of the Fairtrade coffee drinks -in which the growers are paid slightly better- that a new "Fairtax" suite of products will be launched next week...

steve_l 24.11.12 7:58am
Old Trafford cordoned off as naked woman squats on head of Ferguson statue

Salacious pix soon...

pinxit 24.11.12 6:49am
'Poison dwarf held for questioning' say Dallas police. 0
pinxit 24.11.12 6:46am
Sue Ellen orders black shoulder pads 0
Queen of Tarts 24.11.12 6:43am
Queen of Tarts
.. 1
Yikes 23.11.12 11:45pm
New Police Commissioner disappointed at lack of Bat Phone 2
custard cream 23.11.12 11:26pm
Librarian bans talking books 2
Dick Everyman 23.11.12 11:03pm
Dick Everyman
‘We comply with all countries’ tax laws’ – Amazon spokesman Lance Armstrong 0
Yikes 23.11.12 10:56pm
EU Budget stance 'inspired by SuperScrimpers', admits Cameron

David Cameron stated today that his robust stance on the EU budget was due to being encouraged by the Chancellor to watch SuperScrimpers on TV. The PM said he realised the UK had 'sleepwalked' into...

Squudge 23.11.12 10:51pm
Kevin McCloud to embrace austerity Britain with new show Humble Designs 2
Sir Lupus 23.11.12 10:46pm
Sir Lupus
Baron Cameron criticises EU for 'not living in the real world'

more tantrums later...

virtuallywill 23.11.12 9:30pm
Welsh fans upset by new Oasis single called 'Don't Look Back In Bangor' 1
custard cream 23.11.12 8:15pm
custard cream
Egypt's Mursi's new powers; "Mostly political, some super."

More to follow...

apepper 23.11.12 7:46pm
Kevin Bacon to be next Chelsea Manager. 0
Al OPecia 23.11.12 7:39pm
Al OPecia
Bungling hospital named as Cambridge University NHS Trust

No, it really is...

antharrison 23.11.12 7:24pm
European budget to increase to pay for European budget meeting

European leaders may not be able to agree the latest EU budget after the final bill for the current meeting came through. Although MPs voted for the Prime Minister to fight for a cut to EU funding,...

Perks 23.11.12 6:43pm
Dead WW11 carrier Pigeon starts Bird Pun epidemic

Fears increased that the spread of Bird puns has now reached epidemic proportions among headline writers following the discovery of the remains of a WW2 carrier pigeon. Bird Puns are known to be...

beagle 23.11.12 6:42pm
Bishop Penis Requirement Causes OED to Add New Definition For Word "Bishopric"

The recent vote won by conservative members of the Church of England requiring that Bishops be males has caused the Church to do some soul searching, and also some searches between the belt and the...

Supremecourtjester 23.11.12 6:07pm
Office of Fair Trading fed up with swings and roundabouts jokes 0
CulchaVulcha 23.11.12 4:49pm
Cockroach 'still traumatised' after appearing on 'I'm a Celebrity'

A cockroach is still undergoing trauma counselling days after an apalling experience that many are citing as 'a stunt too far'. Despite support from his extended family, many who found themselves in...

Squudge 23.11.12 4:45pm
Widespread disappointment in SW as floods fail to be worst ever

The halcyon days of blaming infrequent weather conditions on global warming appear to be at an end. This year's annual submerging of properties on the Severn flood plain failed to be the worst since...

grottymonty 23.11.12 4:41pm