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With so many hoodies now needing hugging David Cameron has resolved to return 0
Awkward Facts 4 years

at once from Italy and get on with the job...

UK in contention for Olympic "Burning down your own capital city for no reason" 1
JohnA 4 years
Syria condemns brutal crackdown by police on brave Tottenham freedom fighters 2
JohnA 4 years
Rogue Boarder Collie refuses to pay kennel fees. 0
guffaw 4 years
David Cameron asks America for advice Rumsfield reminds him that looting is 0
guffaw 4 years
Cameron returning to London as riots spread to Tuscany 1
roybland 4 years
Hungry rioters set fire to Greggs to make sure Pasties are "cooked properly" 0
thackaray 4 years
Looters return goods to PC World after seeing same item cheaper in Comet 2
brownpaperreporter 4 years
David Cameron's 'don't eat yellow snow' tip goes down badly in Italian Cafe. 1
Corrigan 4 years
Olympic flames arrive in London a year too soon. 2
Dickens or Shakespeare 4 years
Who's a big twat now, eh? jeers Marx from beyond grave 8
FraserWords 4 years

A smirking Karl Marx last night broke decades of silence and spoke from beyond the grave to jeer: “Who’s the big twat now, eh?”, As countries all over Europe opened tetchy letters from their...

Italian waitress digusted by Cameron leaving a tip in Euros. More soon. 1
Al OPecia 4 years
Red faces as George Michael wins Daily Mail's 'Dream Cottage' 15
4 years

There were red faces at the Daily Mail today, after George Michael was announced as the winner of their 'dream cottage' competition. What started as a minor disagreement rapidly escalated into a ...

DFS not looted in London riots 1
roybland 4 years
Dolphin Marries Tuna After Long Friendship 0
mugwump 4 years
Markets go ga ga in sync with Maggie. More soon. 2
Al OPecia 4 years
William Hague recognises Tottenham rioters as true government in London 1
William Pumpton 4 years

More to follow...

Berlusconi critical of British Premier's failure to consider waitresses tits 0
button 4 years

When in Rome...

British fashion writers slam London looters’ dress sense 0
antharrison 4 years

With London Fashion Week commencing in a little over a month, Britain’s fashion writers, presenters and commentators have united to criticise the poor dress sense adopted by many of the weekend’s...

Poor "cannot afford to riot" as cost of petrol bombs soars 0
bonjonelson 4 years
Ocado to introduce online looting. 1
the coarse whisperer 4 years
Cameron praises 'outstanding' coverage of London riots at pool bar 2
Darkbill 2.0 4 years

Prime Minister David Cameron last night praised the placement of two giant plasma screens in the pool bar at his luxury hotel in Italy. Mr Cameron who is on holiday in Tuscany said they offered him...

Clegg returns and declares "everything's OK now" before bursting into flames 0
FraserWords 4 years

Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg returned from holiday to take charge of Britain and issued his rallying call at a packed press conference: “Everything will be all right now.”, Mr Clegg paused...

Semi-naked Worthing pensioners loot Oxfam shop. 1
rebel not taken 4 years

Bored Worthing pensioners have caused outrage in the South Coast resort after another night of rioting and looting. A gang of rowdy geriatrics were spotted outside the town's Oxfam Shop with piles...

Sting blamed for recent outbreaks of luteing. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 4 years
Trophy-collecting trawlerman admits to possession of fish fingers 2
pinxit 4 years
The month's news in brief: Hacking in Luton. Looting in Hackney. 0
pinxit 4 years
IRA to close with loss of over 1,800 local jobs 0
William Pumpton 4 years

One of the last local terrorist organisations has today went into administration, putting over 1,800 local jobs at risk. To be confirmed at a press conference later on today, held in a secret...

More looters arrested after police find they checked in to shops on Facebook 0
Vertically Challenged Giant 4 years

Police in North London have made a further 50 arrests relating to the recent riots following the discovery of a Facebook group titled “I love lootin!!!”. The breakthrough came when police...

Robert Peston's online reports to be punctuated in Peston 5
virtuallywill 4 years

The loss of America's AAA credit rating(pause) shoutsloudly that there is risk in lending to America - which at a time of great stress in financial markets could be very...