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Honour among thieves Myth busted as MP grasses on 6 others over expenses. 0
melody 4 years
Stalking horse is straw man, claims Irish Premier 2
Zadok the second 4 years

Brian Cowen, the leader of Fianna Fail has accused Micheál Martin, the Foreign Affairs Minister of being a straw man put forward by the party to confuse things. Minister Martin, who yesterday said...

Thomas Cook’s unbeatable two-for-one Tunisia deals referred to Nicky Campbell 0
Gary Stanton 4 years

Industry watchdog Nicky Campbell is to scrutinise the cut-price deals offered by travel agent Thomas Cook after they realised that the arse may have fallen out of their North Africa market. The...

Trouser press hospitalizes man after forgeting to get out of his before using it 0
Basil_B 4 years
Market for talking cars has “stalled”... 1
Doylem 4 years

The market for anthropomorphic, talking cars appears to have stalled, says Bob Foster, a spokesman for the automotive industry. “Drivers no longer want to get into amusing and entertaining scrapes...

The Social Network's sequel will be titled Wikipedia, the director confirmed 0
Tammy Flugh 4 years

this morning. He refused to comment on rumours that he is talking with Andrew Lloyd-Webber about The Social Network - the musical...

Relief for dads as survey finds that mums are bullshitters too 1
Spacey 4 years

A survey carried out by website Netmums has revealed that women are just as good at bullshitting other mums as dads are at bullshitting other dads. It was previously thought that the need to make up...

Marianas Trench more interested in Heat magazine than philosophy 0
simonjmr 4 years

Scientist's confirm that the self proclaimed "Deepest part of the ocean" is quite vacuous, superfluous and intelectually shallow" after an interview revealed that the Marianas Trench was more...

Mail on Sunday’ journalists told undercover cop they were from the ‘Guardian’ 1
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Armageddon rescheduled... 1
Doylem 4 years

“We got it wrong last time”, admit religious nutters, “but we’ll get it right soon, and then you’ll be sorry. The end of the world will come, we - the Chosen Ones - will be saved, and you -...

Aung San Suu Kyi To Quit Politics 2
Textbook 4 years

Myanmar's pro-democracy leader, Aun San Suu Kyi, who is known around the world for her staunch endurance of years of confinement and opression under the country's restrictive government, has...

Writers advised to mark intellectual property with their postcode. 0
Ian Searle 4 years
Firth accepts Golden Globe in an overly polite and very english sort of way. 0
Basil_B 4 years
Copyright issues to be referred to the European Courts of Poetic Justice. 0
Ian Searle 4 years
Minister urges rural petrol stations to reduce price of World Cup medallion sets 1
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Mrs Clegg announces plans for her husband to share the housework 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Paparazzi hound Natalie Portman & Melissa Leo for photos of their Golden Globes 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Cameron and Clegg to share paternity leave 0
Sinnick 4 years
New fathers encouraged to take long holiday 0
yussle 4 years

after stress of watching wife give birth...

Monkey Typing Pool Supervisor sacked after failing to produce a single soliloquy 4
Des Custard 4 years

Avram Zephir became the latest Remington League typing pool supervisor to be unceremoniously fired yesterday after a short ceremony in which a kangaroo court made him jump before he was pushed. He...

Avon police to draft in Hercule Poirot in bid to solve murder inquiry. 0
flossie mcjava 4 years

The detectives working on the Jo Yeates murder investigation have decided to call in the famous Belgian detective Hercule Poirot to help them solve the mystery of the murdered architect, in their...

Critics slam "The Social Network" for inconsistencies with Wikipedia 0
Dumbnews 4 years
As Government clamps down on Meow Meow ,a Market in Pussy starts to open up. 0
melody 4 years
After losing his appeal Peter Sutclifffe ,decides to get a trim ,lose a bit of 0
melody 4 years

weight ,splash a bit of Old (lag) Spice on , to help him regain his lady killer status ., Although he has lost the sight in one eye ,and has acquired a lovely face disfiguring, scar (a hit with...

English May Not Be The International Language For Much Longer 0
Textbook 4 years

Linguistics experts predict that, given the way things are going, by 2035 the international community will have given up on speaking to each other entirely...

Police warning on genuine Green Shield stamps 0
Tammy Flugh 4 years

They're worth f**k all, unless some idiot on Ebay buys them...

Police warning over 'fake' Tesco stamps 0
Iscariot 4 years

Easy to spot as they do not bear the image of Dame Shirley Porter. HM the Queen has been informed...

Tunisian tourist agency says "Come back, we're dolphin friendly" 0
Iscariot 4 years

Jamie Oliver adds "Grate a bit of onion, add a dollop of mayo, a driz of the old oil from the olives, bit of peppah, give it a good stir, an' whack it on some toasted cheebattah. Kids luv it."...

Jonny Wilkinson to host "Dislocation, Dislocation, Dislocation"... 0
Mr.3374 4 years

More injuries soon, no doubt...

Government to give subsidised alcohol to city dwellers. 0
Dun Dunkin 4 years

'to help them cope and so they can dream about living in the countryside'...