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Steve Jobs to launch iPhone 5 via 'dial in from the other side'.

It appears that before his death, Steve Jobs demanded a new feature be designed into the iPhone 5 - 'dearly departed' contact technology, enabling users to call up the spirit world. "We envisaged...

0
MrQ 12.09.12 10:00am
MrQ
Rhys Onabullfors says his home security business is booming.

No more soon...

0
Not Amused 12.09.12 9:24am
Not Amused
London 2012, Why did it go so wrong?

As the nations Olympic hangover recedes, one question remains and demands to be answered. Where was the flood of international prostitutes promised by the organising committee?, In the months...

0
Reeking Lum 12.09.12 9:15am
Reeking Lum
Maggie praises 'Thatcher death T-Shirts' as perfect free market entrepreneurism 4
charlies_hat 12.09.12 7:42am
Gerontius
***Inadvertant plagiarism****

Read Jesse Bigg's post instead...

0
JohnA 12.09.12 7:17am
JohnA
Las Vegas casino in turmoil after owner orders "massive reshuffle"

More cards revealed later...

23
JohnA 12.09.12 7:15am
JohnA
Council cut-backs to blame for Richard III found in Leicester car park

More soon..you can count on it...

2
Gerontius 12.09.12 7:15am
Gerontius
Matt Damon to star in action thriller prequel: Bourne Yesterday 17
Skylarking 12.09.12 6:37am
Gerontius
Andy Murray “ecstatic” after finally opening beer bottle with eye socket

Andy Murray said it was the best day of his life after finally succeeding in opening a beer bottle using his eye socket during a New York brunch. “I’m ecstatic” said Murray with a weird smile...

1
Yikes 12.09.12 5:53am
Yikes
What do you call a cat with a hat on? A hat cat.

Hat (cat) tip to waylandsmithy...

6
Perks 12.09.12 12:06am
Yikes
National Grid To Stop Promoting Lance Armstrong......

.Switching to Amsterdam white bikes, instead...

1
Jesse Bigg 11.09.12 10:34pm
Jesse Bigg
Apple to face legal challenge over use of the word "phone"

Following the technology giant Apple's recent high profile court case against rival competitors Samsung, it seems the courts need to be braced for more patent and copyright based battles involving...

0
Fox100 11.09.12 10:30pm
Fox100
In Line With The Present Economic Mess...

..Downing Street to be renamed "Going Down Street."...

0
Jesse Bigg 11.09.12 10:00pm
Jesse Bigg
New ministers appointed in "hug a hoody" scheme

Responding to criticism of his government reshuffle, David Cameron has highlighted his bold revival of his “hug a hoody” campaign, with a scheme to offer places in government to the nation's...

6
Sir Lupus 11.09.12 10:00pm
dvo4fun
"Sarawak," Definitely Not A Scouse Term Of Endearment...

Say linguistic experts...

0
Jesse Bigg 11.09.12 9:35pm
Jesse Bigg
King Richard III Car Park Attendant Claims He Was First, Finding Relics....

"Just a hunch, though."...

0
Jesse Bigg 11.09.12 9:16pm
Jesse Bigg
Shuttlecock In Spectacular Fail

Blames tennis, Andy Murray, and miserable bastards...

1
Martin Shuttlecock 11.09.12 8:53pm
Ironduke
Downing Street in turmoil as Newsbiscuit starring system remains under scrutiny 0
Raptor Jesus 11.09.12 8:46pm
Raptor Jesus
Where Are They Now?

As we all deal with austerity and Broken Britain, we take a look back on the things we remember and ask “Where are they now?” The Great British Wino: Once a stalwart of every city centre, the...

18
Quaz 11.09.12 8:01pm
Quaz
Local Man Fails To Fit In

Blames tight twat...

0
Martin Shuttlecock 11.09.12 7:34pm
Martin Shuttlecock
More as we get it. 0
Martin Shuttlecock 11.09.12 7:31pm
Martin Shuttlecock
Scotland's footballers "still Scottish"

More soon probably for ever, in fact...

0
jamesr 11.09.12 7:30pm
jamesr
Problems for Ofqual as claims are made that prostate exams are getting easier 0
Ian Searle 11.09.12 7:16pm
Ian Searle
background checks ‘welcomed’ by plaidophiles 9
Spartacus 11.09.12 6:02pm
dvo4fun
Dazzling reshuffle marks start of Coalition closing ceremony

The closing ceremony of the 2010 Coalition government has been held at the Olympic Park in London, after a dazzling display of choreographed reshuffling by 25 volunteers last week. Creative...

7
The Paper Ostrich 11.09.12 5:47pm
writinginbsl
Dog-walkers drafted in at Scotland Yard in major staff reshuffle

Major staff restructuring at Scotland Yard has seen up to 50 per cent of detectives laid off and replaced by people walking dogs. A Home Office spokesman said today:"This is a logical move when we...

2
Scroat 11.09.12 5:46pm
writinginbsl
Johnson's final tear-sodden juddering climax stains red carpet. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 11.09.12 5:12pm
dominic_mcg
Ofqual to revise X Factor grading system. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 11.09.12 4:55pm
dominic_mcg
Top Smear

Feel the throbbing power of the new penis car from Italian car makers Alpha Maleao,specialy designed to look just like a giant speeding horizontal erect penis,for all us macho car lovers.In bright...

11
Jeremy Klarkson 11.09.12 4:33pm
Martin Shuttlecock
Moonwalk curse may claim yet more

First Michael Jackson, then Neil Armstrong fall foul of the Moonwalk curse, there are at least another 8 worried moonwalkers out there. More soon Hat tip to Oxbridge...

0
simonjmr 11.09.12 3:56pm
simonjmr