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Fat Person Showing Talent Proof of 2012 Apocalypse

“Reality is broken,” was the verdict of Professor Ian Seaborn. Last Saturday as millions sat down to watch Britain’s Got Talent they had no idea at the horrors they would face., In started...

Hooch 25.03.12 1:16pm
Mr Target
Lobbygate Latest: £30 Donation For 5 Minutes With "Listening" Andrew Lansley 1
thisisall1word 25.03.12 1:04pm
Nails UK
Neanderthals have relatives in Essex

Neanderthals are not totally extinct; in some of us they live on - a little bit or maybe a lot Something that we thought we knew all along has been confirmed by Professor Svante Paabo, Max Planck...

Exiled Royal 25.03.12 12:42pm
Lobbygate latest: £250,000 for Cabinet Lunch, £125,000 if Eric Pickles Absent 0
thisisall1word 25.03.12 12:00pm
Soldiers training to deliver petrol have trouble with Clubcards and Pay at Pump. 1
MADJEZ 25.03.12 11:21am
Nails UK
Tory Co-Treasurer quits. Tapping up the rich for access is the Chairman's job. 0
MADJEZ 25.03.12 11:00am
Old Moore's Almanack to produce new HMRC tax statements

Her Majesty's Revenue and Customs have agreed a joint deal with the publishers of Old Moore's Almanack to produce the new Tax Statements unveiled in the budget. The front of the statement will show...

Nails UK 25.03.12 10:59am
Nails UK
Police warn of Radicalised snowboarders threat

Skateborders may be next! They could views as Hawks not doves...

Scronnyglonkle 25.03.12 10:58am
Public apothetic to people running through their town with a stick on fire.

More Olympic humbug soon...

MADJEZ 25.03.12 10:57am
Army to receive Ginsters Pasties delivery training

M.O.D spokesman coy about possible unsavory NATO action...

Scronnyglonkle 25.03.12 10:54am
Wallace to replace Clegg as part of Aardman's tax concession deal

Further details in the small print of the budget have revealed that in return for tax concessions to the animation film industry, Aardman has agreed to loan plasticine figure Wallace as a replacement...

Nails UK 25.03.12 10:52am
Nails UK
Cruddas: 'Another £5,000 and Clegg stays home washing his hair' 0
Skylarking 25.03.12 10:29am
Dick Cheney has heart implant, votes Democrat. More soon. 2
Al OPecia 25.03.12 10:21am
Al OPecia
Sarah Furguson to negotiate PM dinner deals.. 0
wilkieone 25.03.12 10:11am
Loan shark, seeks company.. 0
wilkieone 25.03.12 10:09am
Osborne charges Clegg £250,000 for access to Cameron 0
nickb 25.03.12 9:43am
Dick Cheney heart transplant latest; old heart to be taken to Mordor by Frodo

Dick Cheney's old heart is to be dropped into the crack of Doom in the mountain of fire deep in the dark land of Mordor...

apepper 25.03.12 9:41am
Pensioners budget fury; "We can't afford to buy lunch with Cameron anymore"

More to follow...

apepper 25.03.12 9:38am
Miliband 'offered £250,000' to anyone prepared to have lunch with him 0
roybland 25.03.12 9:27am
Medium Derek Acorah and 'spirit guide' split because of 'artistic differences'

Television medium, Derek Acorah and his ‘spirit guide’ Sam have announced they are to split. They have cited their ‘artistic differences’ as the main reason, with Sam becoming ever more...

Perks 25.03.12 9:20am
Nick Clegg Commemorative Platter: Order Now!

Be sure to act now so you don't miss out on this rare opportunity to own this limited edition memento to the Mickey Rourke of politics.

The_RLJ 25.03.12 9:13am
Competition: Win dinner for two with the Camerons

Win a business opportunity of a life time plus dinner for two in the company of Prime Minister David Cameron and his lovely wife Samantha. The menu is yet to be decided but you will have the chance...

weematt 25.03.12 8:45am
Flick Book version of The Artist out in May

A flick book version  of five Oscars winner The Artist is expected out in May. A spokesman for HMV said they were already taking pre-orders for the eagerly awaited flick book version of the black...

roybland 25.03.12 8:27am
Measles sufferers to get spot checks 3
weematt 25.03.12 8:16am
Psychic says she did not know show had been cancelled... 0
wilkieone 25.03.12 8:07am
1/4 million for dinner with cameron! burger king £1.99! 0
wilkieone 25.03.12 8:04am
Man who looked into his girlfriend's eyes saw only eyes

When Ray Smith,19, looked into his girlfriend Samantha's eyes across a candlelit dinner table, he was taken aback to see just a pair of eyes. 'I'm not sure what I expected,' he said. 'But something...

roybland 25.03.12 12:29am
Psycadelic Squirrel
After Eights Refuse To Adjust To British Summer Time 2
sredni vashta 25.03.12 12:13am
Supermarket pioneering Roadkill Range

Supermarket giants Tesbury's are to roll out a new line of food entitled "Roadkill", and aim to introduce it as a viable alternative to other supermarket's budget brands. "Every day hundreds of...

Exiled Royal 25.03.12 12:11am
Vince Cable charged 'half a Toblerone' for access to Nick Clegg 1
24.03.12 11:39pm