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England team to drive round the country in an open top hearse 2
Ludicity 3 years
'Henman Hill' to be renamed 'Talented but Largely Unlikeable Scottish Lump' 2
dicky37 3 years

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Budget cuts affect seamstresses as 'stitch in time now only saves eight' 1
dicky37 3 years

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Cash-strapped Brits forced to holiday in Off-Peak District 0
dicky37 3 years

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Visa World cup fixers to be question over match irregularities 0
simonjmr 3 years
Delayed Gratification Policy Instantly Adopted 0
Doctor Moptop 3 years

Tantric Tennis gurus, Nicolas Mahut and John Isner, have been offered advisory positions by the Coalition Government. "The new age of austerity will undermine the current culture of instant...

Oxford english dictionary to replace the word monotone with the word Murray. 0
Basil_B 3 years
Russell Brand's Ponderland axed in Channel 4 shakeup 1
QorbeQ 3 years

UK TV broadcaster Channel 4 has begun the process of a massive revamp in a bid to regain its former 'anarchistic' credentials. 'The channel has always tried to be part of the anti-establishment, but...

Russian spy ring unmasked in KFC 0
gregle 3 years

A cell of ten Russian spies has been discovered and apprehended in a branch of KFC in Washington. They are suspected of trying to discover vital US secrets including the Colonel's secret recipe and...

FIFA to experiment with goal-line technology 1
GrahamB 3 years

Following the failure of match officials to spot Frank Lampard's shot crossing the German goal-line on Sunday, Sepp Blatter has announced that FIFA is to experiment with goal-line technology after...

Government to cap immigration, BP bid for contract 1
Ian Searle 3 years
'Cutbacks will mean fewer police' headline wins No Shit Sherlock award for June 0
jp1885 3 years
DFS introduce new Psychiatrist range, to get into the minds of their customers 0
Iamthestig 3 years

Tell me about when you last bought now, paid later, or when you paid nothing for 3 years...

Cameron justifies Cabinet Ministers' claims for Incapacity Benefits 0
pinxit 3 years

"They're all completely incapable - the lot of 'em" he said...

Sky's new sexual health channel to be broadcast in VD 0
Iamthestig 3 years
Sepp Blatter to personally trial changing room cameras for Women's World Cup 2
jp1885 3 years
England players thought flag of St. George was match instructions 0
Iamthestig 3 years

"We saw the straight lines and criss-cross shape and thought that was how Fab's wanted us to play." Said Aaron Lennon at a press conference yesterday. "I kept saying to Gareth Barry that running...

England will lose next world war, pundits predict 1
jp1885 3 years

English pride has suffered yet another devastating blow today, after a leaked MOD report revealed that the nation is 'more than likely' to face a humiliating defeat, should a world war break out in...

Piers Morgan voted off Celia Walden halfway through honeymoon 10
Darkbill 2.0 3 years

Former Daily Mirror editor Piers Morgan has been unceremoniously gonged off while attempting to consummate his marriage to long term girlfriend Celia Walden. A trio of celebrity judges considered...

Funeral Director sues NHS for saving lives 7
Mrblacker 3 years

An undertaker in Oxford is taking the National Health Service to court, citing their 'unending efforts to save lives' as a reason behind his business going to the wall. Stephens and Sons have been...

Office 2010 upgrade "Definitely worth it" says user community 1
antharrison 3 years

A spokesman for the Microsoft Office user group today confirmed that upgrading to the 2010 version was definitely worth the effort and investment, especially when compared to remaining with the 2007...

England team planning next match - a friendly with Iceland. 1
andhrimnir 3 years

If they win, they are hoping to play Asda then Tesco...

Miss Cornwall turns out to be 84 0
PluckyMunky 3 years

'We were all fooled', said the head judge, Bert Rampton, 'she's a very young looking 84'...

Bury man burried in berries 1
PluckyMunky 3 years

Brian Kendle, 32, accidentally fell into the cranberry hopper at the Cranberry Prostate Juice factory. He said, 'I don't know how I would have felt if I'd ended up in a bottle.'...

Miss Cornwall judge denies “sucker” label stating it was "quite the reverse" 0
Rorschach 3 years
Ageing hippy no longer tripping-now been told he's on a journey 0
ramblesnake 3 years

heavy rain soon...

St George 'in talks' with other countries 0
Rorschach 3 years
CCTV camera awarded Queen’s medal for distinguished service. 1
Stan Laurel 3 years

A closed circuit TV camera was recognised by the award of the Queen’s Police Medal for its outstanding contribution to police services at a ceremony yesterday. The camera, promoted to Sergeant last...

Lumpy custard main cause of cancer, researchers identify in new study 4
PluckyMunky 3 years

'Everyone likes a tart', said Professor Jacob Newbury of Bangor University, 'But it is the lumpy custard that causes all the health problems'. 'Stick to a cream', he suggested...

HD pictures of Earth's gravity lost by ITV 0
Ludicity 3 years