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Giggs 'wrecking image of sheep-loving Welsh' 6
FraserWords 4 years

Football love rat Ryan Giggs is tarnishing the image of his native Wales, said campaigners yesterday., MP Ron Bonkers fumed: “We’ve spent decades carefully building up a comedy image of Welsh...

Tories To Launch New Home Heating Policy For Pensioners And Low Earners..... 0
Jesse Bigg 4 years

.A box of matches. "And make them last all winter! OK?"...

Archbishop of Canterbury attacks Arsène Wenger for lack of "killer touch" 3
pthr 4 years

Dr Rowan Williams, no stranger to controversy, has attacked Arsenal manager Arsène Wenger for his overuse of foreign players and lack of "killer touch". Wenger played down claims that the...

Labour plotters could u more terror strikes as cover for next bout of infighting 0
ronseal 4 years

A crack team of spin doctors and smear merchants is understood to have landed in Westminster and gone underground, ready to spring into action on the date of the next terror atrocity. These elite...

UK film censors ban The Very Hungry Caterpillar 15
Ludicity 4 years

Following their ban on The Human Centipede 2, the British Board of Film Classification have now refused a certificate to The Very Hungry Caterpillar, due to what they describe as ‘shocking images...

Beelzebub furious at Church of England over "Cassock lifters" 1
arnied 4 years

Beelzebub was quoted as "not being amused" at the ordination of gay bishops within the Church of England. While rotating his head and performing huge projectile vomits he growled "That Runcie needs...

Roxette release updated 80's hit, "She had the look" 0
Dumbnews 4 years
Error by Utah school board means Salt Lake City kids to study Norman Wisdom. 2
dominic_mcg 4 years
Blair: "Brown used Balls to put pressure on me" 2
pthr 4 years
Gove expects to be cleared of Balls leak, blames spilled drink 0
pthr 4 years
BBC ageism row: 'Philip's age blatantly discussed during interview' 3
4 years

Fiona Bruce was facing disciplinary action last night, after allegedly breaking new 'ageism' rules. The 'Default Retirement Age' was phased out in April this year. But that didn't prevent Ms Bruce...

Celebrity Scrapheap Challenge to Rebuild Celebreties 0
Quaz 4 years

Channel four have announced a series of “Celebrity Scrapheap Challenge” shows in which two teams of PR experts, plastic surgeons, and makeup artists will be let loose on “The scrap yard of...

Drought notices for East Anglia. Drowt notices for Norfolk 2
4 years
Prince Philip shows off birthday suit, Queen not amused. 1
DiY 4 years
Palin emails: number of chimps needed to type Shakespeare revised down 0
4 years

I done loved the gun you brunged me, it shoots bears real swell...

Balls denies siding with a cock to fuck an arsehole. 3
SingingHinny 4 years

More Team America:World Police soon...

Stephen Fry bemused at reaction to his renaming Dam Buster dog 'Spit' 0
pinxit 4 years
Chief Druid slams ‘unelected coalition’ of the Holy Trinity 0
Des and Stan 4 years

Britain’s self-styled Chief Druid, Arthur Pendragon today criticised what he called the unelected coalition of the Holy Trinity. Speaking from his Stonehenge HQ he said that the human race was...

Distraught Katie Price says her breast-reduction op has gone 'tits up' 1
pinxit 4 years
Facebook recognition software discovers Lord Lucan 1
jp1885 4 years

90% of dissolute aristocrats with massive gambling debts and who have have murdered one of the staff before buggering orf to South Africa won’t post this as their status...

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4 years
Ofqual: Only 17% of exam papers have misstakes; the other 86% is fine 0
John Wiltshire 4 years
Ryanair denies transparency over cost of a ticket 0
Dick Everyman 4 years

Michael O’Leary, chief executive of Ryanair has emphatically denied that the airline has started to make its online charges “less frightening” for customers following investigations by the...

Dress like Prince Philip and say what you bloody like, says costume inventor 1
ronseal 4 years

A new Prince Philip fancy dress costume, that gives the wearer the power to say what the hell they like, has become the UK's best selling fashion item. [HAVEN'T GOT THE TIME TO FINISH THIS. PERHAPS...

Outcry as alphabet reordered 'to reflect demands of 21st Century' 21
DrTurmoil 4 years

The Government is to re-order the letters of the alphabet to reflect modern usage, in a plan which has caused outrage among teachers, parents, and men with carefully ordered CD and DVD collections....

Rapture 'will still go ahead' after Listening Exercise, insists God 2
The Paper Ostrich 4 years

God has confirmed that plans for the Rapture and the End Times are still going ahead despite the launch of a Listening Exercise this week to consult on the changes. “We recognise that there are...

Dambusters dog to be renamed Digger for remake of iconic film... 0
DiY 4 years

because N-word might offend Americans. Australians now going to sue Stephen Fry...

Ken Clarke to introduce prisoner Nectar points 7
Ludicity 4 years

Justice Secretary Ken Clarke has announced that plans to reduce prison sentences by up to 50% will be abandoned in favour of a new system of HMP Nectar points. Under the scheme those who...

Prince Philip says he’ll “slow down” at 90, adding “but gradually, unlike Diana” 4
Qoxiivi 4 years

More soon Another possible execution: Prince Philip says he’ll "slow down" at 90, adding; "unlike Henri Paul"...

Wales thanks Giggs for inspiring 'Welsh sex' jokes that don't involve sheep 2
Oxbridge 4 years