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Mayor takes broom out of own arse just in time to help with clean-up. 0
Milo Shame 4 years
'Can't-be-arsed' anarchist, 60, loots his own fridge 0
Crow 4 years

No more later...

COBRA committee authorises Police to use live cobras for crowd control. 0
bonjonelson 4 years

Here's hoping...

Riot Police to be issued with polar bears 10
Ludicity 4 years

Rioters in London’s inner cities have been warned that if they engage in any more trouble the police will release a polar bear. ‘We have been more than patient with these people,’ said Home...

Cameron welcomes return of "the Biltz Spirit". more soon. 0
Al OPecia 4 years
Londoners braced for return of UB40. 0
wallster 4 years
"We're all in this together," says Cameron from bath full of turds. 0
Drylaw 4 years
Looters caught by TV Licensing van. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 4 years
Metropolitan police officers to crank up their faces 2
Screenie 4 years

In light of the continued violence and rioting across London the Metropolitan police have taken the unprecedented step of increasing their police officer's powers to look on from unimpressed to...

London Riots... 6
Screenie 4 years
Lack of £1 coins for trolleys thwarts Tesco looters 1
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
City unrest spreads to Norwich as youths drop litter and cycle on the pavement 1
charlies_hat 4 years
Sky TV buys rights to "Child criminals do the stupidest things" 0
Erlang 4 years

Another budget show curtesy of CCTV...

Copycat indignation engulfs Tunbridge Wells 3
greg various 4 years
Riots over. It was all a bet! 0
Awkward Facts 4 years

It has been admitted that the real reason for the outbreak of rioting in London was a £1 bet between two 15-year old gang leaders in the city as to whether they could get the PM and MPs back from...

Olympic Committee to review CCTV looting footage for future ‘fencing’ stars 1
Qoxiivi 4 years
Police use CCTV footage to identify looters too stupid to cover their face 0
Vertically Challenged Giant 4 years
Updated AA Riotplanner available via any good social networking site 0
Iamthestig 4 years
England clear winner of the prize for World's youngest criminals. 0
Awkward Facts 4 years

A generation of effort by planners in the education, justice and child-care systems has been rewarded with the greatest density of under-age villains in cities since Columbia's street urchins were...

Eton to extend hand of friendship to Polar Bear families. 1
Drylaw 4 years

In a dramatic move yesterday, the governors of elite Eton College announced a new Polar Scholarship programme. Under the proposed scheme, Polar Bear youngsters, or "cubs", who exhibit the right...

LOCOG "not worried by negative effect of riots" on next year's Olympics 0
Iscariot 4 years

"We've already sold all the tickets and the money's in the bank."...

Metropolitan police deploy RoboCop to assist with riot control 2
Vertically Challenged Giant 4 years

The Metropolitan Police’s Acting Commissioner Tim Godwin has announced today that the force’s latest recruit, RoboCop, will be sent into action immediately with his first duty being to bring the...

Looters told to take stock...of their behaviour 0
Iamthestig 4 years
London to get super injunction 0
whickerman 4 years

Riots can’t be reported., Can only refer to the increasing popularity of non-traditional methods of, obtaining popular consumer goods...

Football game breaks out during Tottenham riots 0
Nick McCarr 4 years
NHS say upsurge in middle-class leg injuries due to 'riot reaction knee-jerks' 0
pinxit 4 years
Over-competitive playground dad swings child into orbit 2
jp1885 4 years
Looters to self-regulate 0
whickerman 4 years

After the conspicuous success of self-regulation for the press and MPs, looters are to be asked to regulate themselves. Rather than being arrested or hit by big truncheons they are to face the far...

Thousands of blackberry using businessmen to be rounded up. 0
whickerman 4 years

After the widespread use of Blackberrys by looters , the government has called on citizens to detain anyone using these devices. Previously you might just have been annoyed by some self important...

London glazier firm, under investigation of Blackberry Messaging offences. 0
Erlang 4 years

More pane later?...