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Thousands of revellers took the the streets for New Year, reveals news story

It was the event that nobody could have predicted. Thousands of people in Britain took to the streets to celebrate New Year, according to the BBC, which led with this story on its main news channel....

ronseal 01.01.12 1:33am
Jeremy Clarkson fires his gynaecologist 0
nickb 31.12.11 8:07pm
Parents given blades in an attempt to 'slash' knife crime

Metropolitan Police have today confirmed they are going to look at arming parents with blades in a last gasp effort to cut knife crime. The pilot scheme will be using the well known principle of...

Perks 31.12.11 5:58pm
Jesus Excited About New Solo Project After Splitting From Christianity

After his recent split from Christianity Jesus gave his first press conference today confirming that he is going solo. Sat with PR representative Max Clifford, Jesus sported a new style of shorter...

SimonJJames 31.12.11 5:56pm
Cameron Makes It To The Shortlist .......

Of the "Fannying Around" Award., "What's a Cabinet for?"...

Jesse Bigg 31.12.11 5:56pm
Jesse Bigg
Team GB hopeful for 2012 Paralytic Games

UK Spirits has welcomed the announcement of the 2012 Paraylitic Games squad in advance of the gigantic drinking contest which will take place in London in 2012. Fans of the 400 mls are said to be...

antharrison 31.12.11 5:51pm
"Mr Parrot Face Davis" Makes A Comeback As UK Economic Icon.......

.."I'm sick, sick, sick up to here!"...

Jesse Bigg 31.12.11 5:39pm
Jesse Bigg
NHS To Charge A Fee For Injured Drunks - From Tonight....

."The Pound Stretcher.", However, 'Out of Pocket' incapables will still have to crawl home. "Mind my hands will you!"...

Jesse Bigg 31.12.11 5:24pm
Jesse Bigg
Ronnie Corbett makes New Years Honours shortlist 1
Perks 31.12.11 5:12pm
Millions baffled by New Year debt mountain mystery

Millions of Britons are grappling with the mysterious appearance of New Year debt mountains following the festive season.,  , 'I just don't get it,' said Percy Grimshaw (new 42inch LCD flat screen...

roybland 31.12.11 5:12pm
Twitter To Temporarily Close Down.......

..Due to birdseed shortfall...

Jesse Bigg 31.12.11 5:01pm
Jesse Bigg
Lib Dems already broken New Year's resolutions 0
Psycadelic Squirrel 31.12.11 4:16pm
Psycadelic Squirrel
NHS lifestyle questionnaires

to include ‘do you drink less than your Doctor?’, More hypocrisy on the way...

John Ffitch-Rucker 31.12.11 3:56pm
John Ffitch-Rucker
Research Scientist shows conclusive proof Dolphins are talking about him 6
SimonJJames 31.12.11 3:00pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Kids aren't even safe to rob Foot Locker in Oxford Street, says report 0
ronseal 31.12.11 1:44pm
Mayan Postal Worker really 'Phoning it in today' say Colleagues

Surely been done?...

SimonJJames 31.12.11 1:13pm
Horse accused of being a naysayer 0
Nick McCarr 31.12.11 12:06pm
Nick McCarr
Uproar as France name Arsenal FC as their football team for Olympics 0
brownpaperreporter 31.12.11 12:05pm
Russell Brand/Katy Perry split; millions rushed to intensive don't care

Hospitals throughout Britain have been overwhelmed with patients suffering from severe apathy following the news that Russell Brand and Katy Perry are to divorce...

apepper 31.12.11 12:04pm
John Ffitch-Rucker
Arab league concerned about Hama, Deraa, Homs and several other Wombles

Underground overground, protesting free...

virtuallywill 31.12.11 11:18am
Barfly shits in vodka and tonic 0
nickb 31.12.11 9:20am
Stage door johnnies protect actresses from pregnancy 0
nickb 31.12.11 12:20am
Parkinson was dubbed Randy Old Goat by Iron Lady

According to secret cabinet papers now revealed under the 30 year rule, PM Margaret Thatcher frequently insulted colleague Cecil Parkinson in the cabinet room, calling him The Rutting Hind and on one...

Drylaw 30.12.11 11:14pm
"Tell them I've got Alzheimers" Howe overheard whispering to aide 0
Drylaw 30.12.11 10:43pm
2012 Could be a brilliant year for predictions, says social media pundit

One of the key trends for 2012 will be a massive wave of increasingly wild predictions, according to the zeitgeist watching community. With attention spans increasingly ooh-cool-shoes, and our...

ronseal 30.12.11 9:29pm
Cameron to be given a fake veto button with rubber sucker for next EU summit. 0
Al OPecia 30.12.11 7:15pm
Al OPecia
Ed Miliband says 2012 will be 'Year of the Weird'

2012 will be 'the 'Year of the Weird' says Ed Miliband in his New Year message to voters.,  , 'People are tired of the same old ordinary politicians with the same old ordinary faces,' he said. 'I...

roybland 30.12.11 5:35pm
Cameron Promises To Be Useful At Next Euro Meet.......

.Helping out as a cloakroom attendant., "Negotiations? What are they?"...

Jesse Bigg 30.12.11 4:37pm
Jesse Bigg
Love Film to deliver movies directly to viewers’ retinas

In move that appears to leapfrog known technologies, Love Film has developed the means to deliver 3D images directly to moviegoers’ retinal surfaces. This by passes all the old delivery methods:...

nickb 30.12.11 4:31pm
Planned rail upgrades could put an extra two hours between London and Manchester

Sounds like an old joke, presumably is...

gaijintendo 30.12.11 2:12pm