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Stock market analysts "Too anal" say analysts. 0
yussle 23.09.11 9:16pm
yussle
CERN blames 'foreign seven' for speed of light error.

It's back to normal at CERN after a scientist admitted to mistaking a foreign seven with a line through it for a figure one that had been crossed out. "These things happen from time to time when...

1
Boutros 24.09.11 12:09am
rikkor
Top Al-Qaeda terrorist considers having faith job 1
RJWinter 23.09.11 8:37pm
FlashArry
Fat People ate the Money

World economists were left red-faced today following the publication of a New York Post investigation that reveals the true cause of the 2007 financial crash. According to the 200 page document, the...

1
Stephen Norman 23.09.11 9:52pm
Duke Togo
Shock Report Predicts 50 Per Cent Of All Lego Figures Will Be Obese by 2030

"It's a plastic time bomb waiting to happen," - not the words of a shrieking 24-hour rolling-news-harpie with a spray-tanned botoxed face and perky 'look-at-me' silicon breasts barely constrained by...

8
tvhack 24.09.11 3:55pm
tvhack
Dale Farm residents apply for UN Recognition.

Richard Sheridan leader of the Dale Farm Travellers' Association has submitted a bid to the United Nations for recognition of the independent state of Dalefarmia. The UN General Assembly applauded...

2
dominic_mcg 27.09.11 9:53am
witless
Young lad to be thrown into ring with no protection for adults’ entertainment.

Eddy Miliband (18) is to attempt to triumph after a bout in front of a tough Liverpool audience this week, in the teeth of the doubts of many as to his resilience., Getting the upper hand and...

0
suwe 23.09.11 6:51pm
suwe
As confidence in flirting falls, Footsie closes down 2% 1
Perks 24.09.11 9:04am
writinginbsl
BBC to make a film rather like a Le Carre novel called "Similes' People". 5
Al OPecia 24.09.11 10:27am
nickb
What if there were no hypothetical questions? 14
Plockton Assbeard 24.09.11 9:49pm
bonjonelson
Daily Mail reader 'died by spontaneous combustion' inquest told 3
Scroat 23.09.11 11:05pm
Screenie
Public Sector Lego

A cabinet minister made a speech today designed to calm fears relating to the possible widespread public sector strikes. The minister explained how “genius” had struck him while shopping in...

1
Stephen Norman 23.09.11 9:57pm
Duke Togo
Einstein's unexpected appearence at CERN silence's time travel doubters 0
spoole2112 23.09.11 4:45pm
spoole2112
ECG machine market flatlines.

More later...

1
spoole2112 23.09.11 4:42pm
Danny
Palestinians agree to send peace-keeping force to Palestine in bid for UN recogn

has anybody seen a 'tion' lying around here anywhere?...

1
Gerontius 23.09.11 10:41pm
dvo4fun
Bored neutrino can't get out of Switzerland fast enough

CERN spokesman Otto Heinkelman confirmed that a neutrino had traveled from Switzerland to Italy at faster than the speed of light. 'It may have been coincidence, but last night the physicists here...

5
wwwiz 24.09.11 8:56am
writinginbsl
Seven injured at Italian sign language conference

Ancora piu...

2
nickb 24.09.11 8:58am
writinginbsl
"New tree, no..it would change everything"

What was considered for many years as no more than a flippant comment by Albert Einstein on being offered a magnolia tree from his cousin Skwared (an employee of Einstein's favourite garden centre),...

0
spoole2112 23.09.11 3:01pm
spoole2112
Huge planet due to crash into defenceless satellite 1
simonjmr 24.09.11 8:02am
Al OPecia
Unexpected demand for DeLorean cars 0
Sinnick 23.09.11 2:55pm
Sinnick
The Association of UK Handymen accused of "fixing" 3
simonjmr 24.09.11 8:59am
writinginbsl
Egyptian hieroglyphs early version of Facebook claims radical archaeologist

Mark Zuckerberg CEO for Facebook has today been served a cease and desist order issued on behalf of the Egyptian government, claiming that he stole the idea for Facebook from the ancient Egyptians....

4
simonjmr 26.09.11 10:40am
riesler
Porn film industry pays tribue to science with new flick, The Hardon Collider 5
ronseal 24.09.11 9:07am
writinginbsl
"Tiger pedicure" business ill thought out claims Institue of Beauticians

Lynx Pedicures more focused and dainty. More soon...

0
simonjmr 23.09.11 2:23pm
simonjmr
Changing landscape leaves Einstein agog 1
spoole2112 23.09.11 8:34pm
FlashArry
Hacker spontaneously combusts. Firewall "effective" says bank. 0
Crapwerewolf 23.09.11 2:01pm
Crapwerewolf
Hat sales soar as Nasa warns of Satellite Crash Landing

With the imminent crash landing of a half ton satellite, sales of hats, particularly of the safety, bowler and top varieties have boomed. One shopper commented that the odds of being hit by the...

0
apepper 23.09.11 2:00pm
apepper
Rugby to end ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ and admit heterosexuals

The International Rugby Board has finally bowed to pressure and agreed to lift the policy which has sought to bar openly-heterosexual players from the game. Until this week the sport’s governing...

1
Long Distance Clara 24.09.11 9:08am
writinginbsl
Seven injured at Italian sign language conference

Ancora tra un po...

1
nickb 23.09.11 2:15pm
Crapwerewolf
Corrie actress failed to suffer enough in real life fire incident

Coronation Street actress Eileen Derbyshire has been criticised for getting herself burned on set in a drearily plausible way. Derbyshire, who has played Emily Bishop since the 1960s, reportedly got...

1
Oxbridge 23.09.11 2:03pm
Des Custard