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Ugly parents may sue Chelmsford Hospital after second set of ugly twins.

Now the parents of four children, Rob and Jennie Chapman are taking legal advice after the birth of their second pair of twins, widely rated as two of the ugliest ever born locally. In Essex. "Our...

dvo4fun 25.01.12 7:12am
Jon Bon Jovi's new autobiography after conversion to Islam released

"Livin' on a Prayer Mat"...

Nick McCarr 25.01.12 4:23am
Nick McCarr
A Mars a day keeps the doctors away: doctors 0
hughesroland 25.01.12 12:57am
Oxford English Dictionary's new words for 2012 include ROFL, ;) and (_x_) 0
hughesroland 25.01.12 12:56am
Source of hospital infection found in staph room

More germs of ideas later...

Major Clanger 25.01.12 12:12am
Major Clanger
Daily Mail Olympics special: Mens 4 x 400m getting easier 0
Smart Alex 25.01.12 12:08am
Smart Alex
Literally tens of newsbiscuit writers disappointed not to have won a mini

An outcry from Newsbiscuit contributors over their lack of free automobiles has rippled through the satirical community in recent days. People who enjoy frequent toilet breaks at work to check if...

Shandy 24.01.12 11:44pm
Major Clanger
Ed Miliband 'should not get bonus this year', says Ed Miliband. More soon 4
red 24.01.12 11:28pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Short-staffed maternity unit 'going through a midwife crisis' 4
Smart Alex 24.01.12 11:25pm
Major Clanger
Attenborough captures rare footage of endangered 3-bird roast

David Attenborough's team of wildlife photographers have finally captured the elusive 3-bird roast on film, after staking out the bins at the back of Aldi. The surprisingly dense member of the hard...

24.01.12 11:22pm
Major Clanger
News Biscuit Sub Awarded Accurate Merit-Based Star Rating

Shockwaves have been sent through the online community at the News Biscuit website when a mediocre submission from mildly able contributor “UnoEye” was awarded a star rating appropriate to the...

UnoEye 24.01.12 11:17pm
Major Clanger
Chris Huhne to deny speed bump removal using the basic tools of stone masonry

Cabinet Minister Chris Huhne is at the centre of a fresh driving storm after allegations that he attempted to remove a series of speed bumps from outside a primary school using a mallet and a chisel....

Gary Stanton 24.01.12 11:15pm
Major Clanger
Trace elements blamed for wave of involuntary homeopathic cures 2
cinquecento 24.01.12 11:11pm
Major Clanger
Bear Grylls endorses range of beef wellingtons

Pint-sized survival fan Bear Grylls has launched a new range of sturdy beef wellingtons. Waterproof, practical and steeped in madeira wine, the gastronomic footwear is a must for explorers who find...

24.01.12 10:53pm
Major Clanger
Clowns demand pay rise for appearing in children's nightmares

Clowns across the country yesterday demanded a pay rise of up to 15% to ensure they would 'continue to haunt the sleep of our nation's youths forever'. Up to now, under strict government regulation,...

hughesroland 24.01.12 10:42pm
Major Clanger
Sales of big screen TVs slump as people start sitting closer

Sales of large screen LCD TVs have nosedived as people have realised that the same affect can be obtained by moving the chair closer to the television...

apepper 24.01.12 10:38pm
Major Clanger
Spoon crime “now worse than knife crime” on Isle of Wight

Figures released today in Ventnor show that spoon-related crime is soaring in comparison to knife-related crime on Britain’s favourite holiday island. While relatively few are convicted of...

nickb 24.01.12 10:30pm
Major Clanger
No word on missing Scott naval officer - fears grow

An audacious attempt to emulate Captain Scott's South Pole achievement of a century ago hangs in the balance today as fears grow for a missing naval officer. 'One hundred years ago Scott, despite...

roybland 24.01.12 10:27pm
Major Clanger
Future of capitalism in doubt as Jagger pulls out of Davos summit

The future of capitalism is in doubt today with news that Sir Mick Jagger has declined an invitation to attend a UK event at the World Economic Forum in the mountain Swiss village of Davos. The...

roybland 24.01.12 9:29pm
Pope recommends silence - "especially about, you know what..."

The Pope has chosen World Communication Day to speak about the importance of silence in the face of Internet noise. "Things would be much better if certain people had kept quiet", he explained...

apepper 24.01.12 8:20pm
Criticism of Costa Concordia is health and safety gone mad - Daily Mail

More to follow...

apepper 24.01.12 8:12pm
Ofcom 'very OK' with new childrens programme Minging Mong Mandy 0
Username 24.01.12 8:10pm
Daily Mail complains Olympic Games contains 'too many races' 1
Perks 24.01.12 7:35pm
Portsmouth FC now financially too dodgy for Mafia investor 4
Immunis 24.01.12 6:54pm
Embarrassment for Cameron as Rosie Redknapp revealed to be Tory donor 1
button 24.01.12 6:44pm
Midfield Diamond
Rosie the Dog takes charge at Pompey - 'Ruff times are rover' 1
Drylaw 24.01.12 6:26pm
Northern lights will reduce Scotland's carbon footprint. 0
Ostsee 24.01.12 4:00pm
Gervais hails 'mong' ruling a 'Major victory for cunts everywhere' Gervais, who has been campaigning against other peoples feelings for years...

gaijintendo 24.01.12 2:45pm
Housewife Mabel Blenkinsop receives Oscar nomination for 'The Ironing Lady' 0
JETFAB 24.01.12 2:01pm
Blue Peter presenter recaptured after 18 day chase through Antarctica 3
Immunis 24.01.12 1:37pm