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Middle-aged men 'disappointed' 19 year old boy not dead

"He knows to much"...

08.03.13 12:35pm
Rooneys Prostitute Retires from Exhaustion.

Romanda Hips, a 63 yr old prostitute from Manchester has announced her retirement from 'street life' citing the insatiable appetites of Wayne Rooney. "I just cannot cope anymore" she says, whilst...

OliverMcPhee 08.03.13 12:02pm
Lib Dems call for more private prisons for Lib Dems 0
nickb 08.03.13 11:40am
Prince Charles has thicker ear than usual

After casually mentioning 'glass cases' to his mother over breakfast...

Scroat 08.03.13 10:53am
Man seen lurking outside school gate was there on legitimate business say police

Police in Greater Manchester moved quickly to assure concerned parents that a man seen lurking outside the Potters Lane Primary School in Stockport was there to sell drugs and was not a paedophile.,...

Gerontius 08.03.13 10:39am
British Legion: UK Military pull-out from Germany “maybe a bit too soon”

Plans to withdraw remaining UK troops from Germany by the end of the decade have been criticised by hardliners within the UK’s nostalgia community. “This is just what the Hun has been waiting...

dvo4fun 08.03.13 10:21am
Horologist on third date hopes to 'wind-up in bed.' 0
sigmund 08.03.13 10:18am
Justin Bieber treated for singing difficulties during London O2 performance

IronDuke, haven't you got something to help the little chap ?, Pentobarbital, or just a 12-bore ?...

Sinnick 08.03.13 10:02am
Liverpool Council will struggle to sell houses for £1.00 warn locals

Liverpool Council have been accused of racketeering after trying to sell houses in the city for as much as a £1.00, Locals say what the city needs is more affordable housing and that offering...

Gerontius 08.03.13 9:03am
Dick Everyman
Moon faced man found on Moon An exploratory dig of the suface of the moon in a search for minerals has...

Dick Everyman 08.03.13 8:59am
Dick Everyman
Election fever? Shitting voters? Double-sided bigot tape’s a musk!

Squitting in the poll department? Curled out [url=] empty in the ballots?[/url] Its...

youbuyitnow 08.03.13 8:38am
Vicky Pryce: It's the name of the game

In the new revamped edition of Mr and Mrs, Chris Huhne and Vicky Pryce tried in vain to Pass the Buck to each other. The Tipping Point came when Mrs Pryce refused to Play Your Cards Right and The...

irreverendJ 08.03.13 8:21am
Tracey Emin picks up CBE for 'just pissing about'

Tracey Emin yesterday became the first person in Britain to receive the CBE for just piss arsing around. 'Obviously, I'm honoured but a little surprised to be here today,' Emin said outside...

roybland 08.03.13 8:07am
Bieber suffers from 'breathing issues' - doctors remind him it's in then out 0
Perks 08.03.13 1:51am
You’re never more than six feet from a deer

The Ministry of Agriculture has confirmed today that ‘You’re never more than six feet from a deer’. Admitting that the current estimate of 1578 .5 million in Wales alone may be “a bit...

theinvisiblecitychannels 08.03.13 1:07am
Pryce coerced into doing Huhne's bird 1
Rootin Tootin 08.03.13 12:53am
Pryce going down - 'That's a first,' comments Huhne 3
medici2471 08.03.13 12:51am
Jury verdict: 'not as thick as the first lot' 5
Squudge 08.03.13 12:38am
Engineer Bytes Bible Purists

[center][/center] Right-wing “King James Only” adherents, who claim their namesake is the only pure and perfect Bible...

Kurt Degerstrom 07.03.13 11:55pm
Filthmongers move into duvet sexploitation as EU propose blanket porn ban 0
FlashArry 07.03.13 11:08pm
Shetland Pony Found to Suck Life Out Of Witnesses

A CGI shetland pony has annoyed a great many people. The small horse appears in a television advert and "dances" around to a Fleetwood Mac record. The advert has driven many to rage. Pedro Sanchez...

Mik Bulk 07.03.13 10:52pm
Mik Bulk
Pygmy tribe find big lawyer to sue tobacco company for stunted growth theory

Up until the time Supermarkets were forced to cover the tobacco products with drab looking slices of laminated wood, it was never apparent that Pygmies were buying cigarettes. For almost a two...

Vanburger 07.03.13 9:52pm
Children sent home from World Book Day event for "50 Shades of Grey" costumes 1
Tristan Shout 07.03.13 8:47pm
White Castle Changes Name to More Culturally Diverse Name:

Due to multiple complaints by the NAACP , White Castle has decided to change their name to Everyone’s Castle. A White Castle representative was quoted earlier today saying “White Castle is a...

tman0823 07.03.13 8:46pm
Taylor Swift banned from Local Animal Shelter

Serial dater Taylor Swift, known to date such stars as John Mayer and Harry Styles has recently been banned from the Los Angeles Animal Clinic. After being unable to find anyone willing to date...

tman0823 07.03.13 8:45pm
Axed manager finds new job picking low hanging fruit 0
Dumbnews 07.03.13 8:37pm
Embarrassment as magic money tree is discovered at Bank of England

David Cameron was left red faced this evening as it transpired contrary to his earlier claims there was indeed a quantitative easing magic money tree at the Bank of England. Number 10 have yet to...

theinvisiblecitychannels 07.03.13 7:56pm
Documentary on speed cameras "May contain flash photography" , viewers warned 0
misterjingles 07.03.13 7:50pm
Eating bacon linked to early death in pigs. More soon. 5
Al OPecia 07.03.13 7:27pm
sponge finger
Huhne: No prison fears "Already used to Greek sex" 0
reforse 07.03.13 7:24pm