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Report: Poor People are Fat Because They're Too Stupid and Lazy to Buy Real Food 0
Titus 24.01.13 2:08pm
Lion with thorn in paw drowns seeking help from scuba diver 0
Lucy4 24.01.13 1:59pm
Beef traces found in Waitrose Venison Burgers sparks Middle Class food scandal. 5
AdrianJ 24.01.13 12:42pm
Newsbiscuit granted restraining order. Rebecca must remain at least 3 miles away 0
bonjonelson 24.01.13 12:11pm
Non-celebrity chef discovered in Aberdeen

Scientists are hailing the discovery of Albert Troatlick, a chef at a Scottish themed restaurant in Aberdeen. One social scientist enthused; "He really is a non-celebrity; he's never appeared on any...

apepper 24.01.13 11:48am
Europe demand return of wartime spirit

Evil Euro officials are campaigning this week for the return of Britain’s ‘war time spirit’. German MEP Hans Kirsh said the abstract concept was given to Britain in 1940 for the sole purpose of...

theinvisiblecitychannels 24.01.13 11:36am
Pentagon confirm women soldiers will serve ‘Combat Rolls’ on the front line

The Pentagon have confirmed that female soldiers will be sent to the front line serving Combat Rolls to male soldiers. The roll was made famous by Marine Capt Jim Fletcher. “It’s 2 rashers of...

Sheepback 24.01.13 11:11am
Chelsea accuse ball boy of 'acting like a Chelsea player'

Chelsea’s interim manager, Rafa Benitez, has launch a scathing attack on the ball boy who was kicked in the ribs by Eden Hazard. He has accused him of ‘diving, time wasting, simulating injury and...

Perks 24.01.13 11:09am
Vicar attacks ballboy

The Right Reverend Richard Coles has apologised for his attack on a ballboy towards the end of last night's crucial service. Coles, 50, said 'I was just reaching the climax of a very stressful...

pj 24.01.13 10:26am
Chelsea ball boy found face down in Swansea bath 0
Drylaw 24.01.13 10:18am
Taliban boost for equality after saying it will now kill boys as well as girls 0
Duncan Biscuit 24.01.13 9:02am
Duncan Biscuit
Mali issues urgent appeal to international community for more buffalo soldiers 0
Duncan Biscuit 24.01.13 9:01am
Duncan Biscuit
Beyonce ‘not the first woman to mouth for a President’ 0
Duncan Biscuit 24.01.13 9:01am
Duncan Biscuit
Milliband still waiting for tactical advice on IN/Out strategy for Okey Cokey 0
ronseal 24.01.13 8:40am
NTV lifetime achievement award for Jimmy Savile who touched so many. 1
MADJEZ 24.01.13 4:21am
Scottish BDSM group planning "special" Burns Night celebrations

Surely done before ?...

DorsetBoy 24.01.13 2:58am
'Tumours bad for our health' warn smokers

Smokers have complained that putting tumours on their cigarettes has been bad for their health., They say that until recently, someone smoking 15 cigarettes a day could expect to wait several years...

Gerontius 23.01.13 10:53pm
Vinegar bomber was a balsamic fundamentalist 0
One Line Only 23.01.13 10:50pm
One Line Only
Professor Brian Cox found to be too clever by eiπ/(cos(π)-sin(π/2)) 9
Smart Alex 23.01.13 10:40pm
England lose death penalty shoot-out 1
One Line Only 23.01.13 10:29pm
Date Set for Britain-on-the-Wold Village Raffle

From the Britain-on-the-Wold parish newsletter: Parish council leader David Cameron has announced that the residents of the village of Britain-on-the-Wold will be given a chance to enter a raffle in...

SJM 23.01.13 10:24pm
Ball-boy kick dismissed as "occupational hazard"

Hazard also dismissed...

The Last Detail 23.01.13 10:21pm
The Last Detail
Ball boy buried in garden of Eden 0
One Line Only 23.01.13 10:06pm
One Line Only
League Cup Semi Final Result: Chelsea 1(child assaulted) Swansea 0 0
custard cream 23.01.13 9:55pm
custard cream
Rejected reality TV contestants rescued from sack in river Thames

A London man was shocked last night when he pulled a writhing sack out of the river Thames and discovered that it contained a collection of half-drowned, almost-forgotten reality TV stars. Ian...

Vertically Challenged Giant 23.01.13 9:45pm
Tarpaulin manufacturer in frightening production line accident sheets himself. 0
SJM 23.01.13 9:44pm
Cameron and Clegg launch matching swimwear range: "We're All In This Together" 0
SJM 23.01.13 9:37pm
‘Now give us an in/out vote on the UK’, demands Middle England

Buoyed by the opportunity to make a knee-jerk exit from EU membership, voters in England are calling for the right to leave other well-established clubs that they’ve never had much interest in....

23.01.13 9:37pm
Eating lunch at your desk bad for your keyboard, survey finds 0
custard cream 23.01.13 9:35pm
custard cream
Microwave salesman resigns after just 90 seconds. 3
SJM 23.01.13 9:29pm