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TV critic horrified to learn BBC Parliament 'not actually a soap'.

James Hartnett, a 53 year-old TV critic, was recently shocked to learn that BBC Parliament was not intended to be enjoyed as a light-entertainment soap opera, but was instead live and uninterrupted...

MarmiteMedicine 15.10.12 10:14am
Baumgartner: Kev from Halfords denies forgetting to reconnect visor demister 0
Nowherefast 15.10.12 10:08am
Legal news: ASBO’s to be scrapped.

The Home Office announced today that the Anti-Social Behaviour Order is to be replaced with a new punishment, the ‘not a nice chap, y’know.’, A spokesman said ‘for some time now, oiks and...

sigmund 15.10.12 9:50am
Baumgartner: my biggest fear was getting parachute and rucksack mixed up 0
custard cream 15.10.12 9:41am
custard cream
Aung San Suu Kyi: "I often dreamt I was being fondled by DLT." 0
Nowherefast 15.10.12 9:37am
David Bowie sues Felix Baumgartner

Felix Baumgartner has today beed sued by David Bowie for the use of the title - "The man who fell to earth" More soon...

simonjmr 15.10.12 9:31am
Felix Baumgartner stars in Skyfall Two 0
Duncan Biscuit 15.10.12 9:20am
Duncan Biscuit
NASA admits its new West Coast service ‘a bit slow’ 0
Duncan Biscuit 15.10.12 9:20am
Duncan Biscuit
Boost for independence campaign as Cameron visits Scotland 0
Duncan Biscuit 15.10.12 9:19am
Duncan Biscuit Newcastle Utd told to 'go out and give it 4,200%' 2
Oxbridge 15.10.12 8:54am
Responsibly-sourced drugs to be stamped with high-as-a-kite mark... 0
Tripod 15.10.12 8:42am
Pre-cast habitat rejected after panda eats shoots and leaves with broken teeth.

Neat-O (I find this concrete jungle concept almost impenetrable.)...

weematt 15.10.12 8:26am
Leading Fromologist discovers meaning of 'Fromology' on day of retirement

Britain’s leading Fromologist has finally discovered what it was that he was supposed to be doing, just hours before his official retirement. Dr Tristan Moorchamps, 68, has enjoyed the trappings...

15.10.12 8:09am
BBC radio 1 employees report Mother Teresa heroin dealing

Several prominent BBC TV and Radio presenters have spoken of witnessing crack and heroin dealing in the 1970’s and 80’s by Mother Teresa of Calcutta. Although she died in 1997, and now cannot...

charlies_hat 15.10.12 7:20am
Foxconn iPhone 5 brawl ends 18% quicker than iPhone 4 brawl. 4
andydog 15.10.12 3:55am
Space Jump Deemed Bad Form Of Transportation 0
Hooch 15.10.12 2:00am
Time machine takes fifthteen years to travel twenty years into the future

The world’s first time traveller has embarked on his fifteen year journey to twenty years in the future, it has been announced. Chosen for the mission is US Air Force Pilot Captain Louie...

Hooch 15.10.12 1:02am
One of the Keith Campbells who cloned Dolly the Sheep dies

One of the five-hundred and seventy-eight thousand-million Keith Campbells whose pioneering research resulted in the cloning of Dolly the Sheep has died. There have been occasional rumours of human...

apepper 14.10.12 10:07pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Man must sleep on street after following loft insulation advice.

"Every time they put up the price of gas, the advice the gas company gives is to add 6 inches of insulation to my loft," explains Mr Boon, staggering back from B&Q with eight rolls of yellow...

Boutros 14.10.12 10:03pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Keith Lemon ‘no longer outrageous’ according to polls

Keith Lemon, the alter ego of comedian Leigh Francis is no longer outrageous according to recent opinion polls. All of his latest attempts at obscenity and depravity are flat-lining as audiences...

Dick Everyman 14.10.12 9:32pm
Dick Everyman
Turkey solves Winter problem

In one fell swoop, Turkey has solved its territorial and heating problems. The Turkish Military are to fill their air space with 10 000ft of thermal insulation material., Air Force General Hakki...

Cinders 14.10.12 8:39pm
Angry torch bearing mob bricks in all the windows on Savile Row shops 0
ronseal 14.10.12 8:14pm
British Gas customers encouraged to ‘warm up on a big rock’

As energy prices soared by another 6% in recent days, British Gas has offered advice to people who stubbornly rely on warmth to stay alive. Pointing out that some reptiles have adapted to the cold...

Nunnion Splendacular 14.10.12 7:02pm
Nunnion Splendacular
Turkey bans chickens from its airspace 2
14.10.12 6:59pm
Concrete jungle tougher to crack than abstract expressionism. 0
sigmund 14.10.12 6:09pm
Cheetah fined for using special Wildebeest lanes

A Cheetah has received a record fine and faces having his license revoked after repeatedly flouting the new Concrete Jungle Traffic Management system (dubbed 'Moto-Moto' by CJ motorists). The...

Squudge 14.10.12 5:54pm
Emu accuses Rod Hull in latest Celebrity abuse Claim ...

He oftern touched me inappropriatly Emu claims even when we were live on air!...

14.10.12 5:54pm
MOD announces new name for Territorial Army - The Taleban 0
custard cream 14.10.12 5:46pm
custard cream
Germany settles holocaust restitution claim: 'We paid our Jews' declares Merkel 1
Stanleys Dad 14.10.12 5:42pm
Territorial Army to be renamed 'Cannon Fodder' 0
14.10.12 5:33pm