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New edition of OED to include made-up words 1
beau-jolly 4 years

has the word gone mad?

Government to take lessons from unemployed 0
beau-jolly 4 years

Following a report that 1.4 million people have been out of work for more than 10 years but are still able to spend all day in the pub, a government special commission has been set up to find out...

Local man confuses pressing a button on website with “actually helping”... 0
Doylem 4 years

“If I can help someone less fortunate than me, then I'm more than happy to do my bit”, said Craig Springer, as he repeatedly pressed a button marked 'YES!' on some website, in the vain hope that...

Muppets join Bahrain protest 1
beau-jolly 4 years

Voicing the concern of the assembled Muppets, wild-haired drummer, Animal, shouted, “Manama!” followed by a chorus of “doo doo di do do”...

Obama's new Child Healthcare plans example of Democratic "Nanny State" 0
Mors 4 years

Mike Crapo, Republican Senator for Idaho, said today that President Obama's plans for universal childcare for the under 5's including free kindergarten provision was just another example of the...

Government to privatise Forensic Service on a "No Win No Fee" basis. 0
Mors 4 years

Home Secretary Theresa May, today announced the largest shake up of British Policing since the Lib/Con Alliance took power. In what she describes as an "innovative and bold move", the Forensic...

Game of Monopoly Ends Badly 0
Deimos 4 years

An innocent game of Monopoly between friends the last Saturday evening ended in dispute when the banker refused to give anybody any money until his bonus expectations were addressed. As the...

Voting method for vote on voting method to be put to the vote. 2
malgor 4 years

MPs were left running round in little circles last night trying to figure a way out of the logical loop they’d inadvertently got sucked into by deciding to have a vote on the voting system. One MP...

Peter749400 4 years Huddersfield pensioner Arthur Davies lost no time in contacting local reporters when a mysterious orange glow appeared in the sky behind...

New Forest pony up on drug mule charges. 0
Milo Shame 4 years

Trixie, a fourteen year old New Forest pony, will appear in Southampton court today on drug mule charges. Trixie’s solicitor spoke to local journalists, attempting to explain Trixie’s ‘moment...

Kate Adie and John Simpson to team up for The Holiday Show 0
TerribleTim 4 years
Sean Connery to teach special lectures at Tokyo University to pronounce 2
4 years

and teach the difference between Cynthia,sincere and synthesizer...

Council Chief Executive worth every penny of £569,000 P.A. salary... 0
be reasonable 4 years

says South Somerset Council. "We needed a big-hitter" said the Leader of the Council, "you know, someone who can spot a missing consonant"...

Linguists concerned overuse of f-bombs is undermining its effectiveness 0
Dumbnews 4 years
Apple to sue NHS over free eye tests... 0
be reasonable 4 years
In a rare interview this week in Flora and Fauna weekly that some Wild 0
4 years

flowers have talked to Royal plantpots...

Kingston Man takes satire site too seriously after recent writers block 0
4 years

UK protest against sponge bob diamond will have egyptian proportions 0
4ty2 4 years

and it is feared that bob will do a hosni mubarak saving his hard earned cash before escaping to more prosperous grounds...

sponge bob admits paying only 1% corporaion tax 0
4ty2 4 years

and that he absorbed a lot of the rest. However he aid that his soft appearance carried a tough heart inside, as hard as a diamond...

Peter749400 4 years


The Newsbiscuit confessional. 16
DrTurmoil 4 years

Readers discuss their own personal personal lives, personally. This week’s topic: Tell us about your most recent break-up: ‘To be honest, I traded my wife in for a younger model. Really, the...

Darwin's theory of evolution has legs 1
Mrs Doyle 4 years
newsbiscuit more factual than Fox News 0
Mrs Doyle 4 years
As old pa Jenkins wonders mutters what did he come into this room for the 4th 0
4 years

time, karla faye tucker although a now committed christian and about to meet her maker fails to see the funny side...

President Barack Obama making state visit to appear on The Archers. 0
Stan 4 years

It has been confirmed that United States President Barack Obama will visit the UK in May, primarily to record an episode of The Archers. President Obama is known to be a keen fan of the long running...

MPs told S&M is SLS 0
Farnworth-Innit 4 years

Coalition MPs were urged to up the ante on the sleaze front today, being encouraged to get involved in any number of sordid activities. In a brief interview given in-between poll dancers, Jeremy...

Steven Spielberg shocks the film world by teaming up with Adolf Hitler 6
4 years

to make "Back to the Führer"...

'Rearranging Titanic's deckchairs would have saved 1,500 lives,' say researchers 7
Des and Stan 4 years

Ninety nine years after the infamous sinking of RMS Titanic, marine historians believe that 1,517 souls could have avoided a watery grave if the crew had been properly trained in the art of deckchair...

Sell-out left wing stand up comic accused of corporate mans laughter 1
ronseal 4 years

StaNd up comic Tim Davies could be the first man to be charged under new Corporate Mans Laughter legislation., The leftier-than-thou moral exhibitionist, who spent a decade accusing the middle...

Egotistical autosarcophagist was ‘sooo full of himself’ autopsy reveals. 2
malgor 4 years