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George Osborne refuses to Gift Aid £10bn loan to the IMF 0
Mandy Lifeboat 20.04.12 7:27pm
Mandy Lifeboat
Ambassador wives plea to Asma Assad: 'Stop outbidding us on ebay for Prada bags' 2
Skylarking 20.04.12 6:57pm
Family season ticket threat leads Norwich City FC to apologise to teenager

Norwich City FC withdrew their complaint against a teenager accused of hacking their website after his family threatened not to renew their season tickets., After checking the address on their fan...

Not Amused 20.04.12 6:41pm
Man Studying For a Masters Degree in Lancashire Finally Gets Aclaim

At the award the award ceremony he commented "I'm Morecambe and Wise"...

GillsImp 20.04.12 6:02pm
Ched Evans finally gets the gaol he was due 0
charlies_hat 20.04.12 5:51pm
Modest Abu Hamza insists: “Learning to play jazz sax required a lot of practice" Sensational hook-handed saxophonist, Abu Hamza al-Masri gave his UK farewell performance last night, rounding off his sell-out...

JJH88 20.04.12 4:47pm
Darth Vader admits bring your son to work day a "failure"

High ranking imperial official, Mr D. Vader has conceded that the recent bring your son to work day had unexpected side effects. "If I'd known he was going to attempt to kill my boss, I'd have...

apepper 20.04.12 4:20pm
Ecclestone: Kabul violence nothing to do with F1 0
Old Hat 20.04.12 4:19pm
Old Hat
Qatada to release range of his and hers fragrances

The Home Secretary’s reputation took another battering today as it emerged fundamentalist bile-preacher Abu Qatada is to release a range of his and hers fragrances to the British market, developed...

BAJDixon 20.04.12 4:16pm
May/Steve Miller release: 'Abu-Abu-Qatada, I want reach out and grab ya'

(To a tune not unlike Steve Miller's Abra-Abra-Cadabra) I mess up, I can't get it right, I find myself with quite a plight, This extradition is quite unreal, You've just made another appeal...

weematt 20.04.12 4:06pm
Scientists create artificial DNA; "royalty payments due from all living things"

The scientists that have created artificial DNA have claimed that royalty payments will be due from "any person, animal or plant making use of DNA for evolutionary purposes."...

apepper 20.04.12 3:55pm
Bahrain Grand Prix to go ahead, bar rain. 0
Haywood Manley 20.04.12 3:48pm
Haywood Manley
Iran getting picked-on in nuclear arms race

Iran’s mum has today issued a formal complaint to headmaster, Ban Ki-moon, over allegations that her son is being continually picked-on in nuclear arms races. Nuclear arms racing has been a...

Old Hat 20.04.12 3:44pm
Old Hat
Defendant sworn in on 'Politics for Dummies' in Aberdeen council case 2
cinquecento 20.04.12 2:09pm
Abu Hamza & Abu Qatada to star in Al Jazeera's Two Ronnie’s Tribute Night

A top executive at Al Jazzera has announced a tribute night is to take place in their new summer season to former Saturday night TV favourites the Two Ronnie’s, the shows include a sketch show...

Scronnyglonkle 20.04.12 1:43pm
X-Files to sponser new margarine called "I Want To Believe It's Not Butter"

Reaches for coat to exit in a hurry!...

seymour totti 20.04.12 1:35pm
Police hope new technology will improve dangerous driving conviction rate.

The Nearshire Constabulary have found that video evidence has not improved their conviction rates, but actually hampered it. But road squad hope that a new addition to their cars will help convict...

gaijintendo 20.04.12 1:13pm
Bert Weedon Dead

Radiohead to play 30 minute freeform electronic jazz version of 'Bobby Shaftoe' at funeral...

Bonaparte Shandy 20.04.12 1:04pm
Bonaparte Shandy
Qatada Hands in Last Minute Note from Mum

Celebrity (alleged) terrorist Abu Qatada has handed in a note to Theresa May from his mother explaining she is withdrawing permission for him to visit Jordan. Home Secretary Mrs May promised today...

oblongscone 20.04.12 1:01pm
Protests threaten to make F1 race interesting 1
Lucy4 20.04.12 12:55pm
After a stuttering start, The King's Speech to close in West End. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 20.04.12 12:36pm
King's Speech play stutters to an early halt. Same old same old say critics. 0
weematt 20.04.12 12:35pm
Telco announces automated helpline for victims of automated cold calls

An enterprising communications company has introduced a new phone service, aimed at those who never receive ‘real calls’ on their landlines, only automated ones. HassleComs International has...

Clarky 20.04.12 11:37am
Liverpool to Remember Pompei

Following the successful act of rememberance of the Titanic disaster through 48 hours of giant-sized marionette dock-side puppetry, Liverpool city council are to commemorate the AD79 destruction of...

Bonaparte Shandy 20.04.12 11:32am
Midfield Diamond
Government believed to have been using Diminished Reality App for 2 months.

augmentation later...

weematt 20.04.12 11:08am
“I’m the best damn thang you eva had” Breivik tells court

Unhinged Caucasian rights activist and part-time Black Panther, Anders Breivik, has told the Norwegian court that he is “the best damn thang they [i]eva[/i] had”, in a prolonged outburst of...

Old Hat 20.04.12 10:57am
Old Hat
"We'll raise fuel duty while you're watching Bolt win 100 metre final" - MP

The Government plans to announce a 30p-a-litre rise in fuel duty at the exact moment Usain Bolt crosses the finish line in this summer's Olympic 100-metre final., It is one of a series of bold bad...

clicktingstampz 20.04.12 10:24am
Couple banned for having '69 pets', RSPCA found hoard of mouthwash. 0
MADJEZ 20.04.12 9:29am
Plastic surgeon discovered in wrong bin. 0
MADJEZ 20.04.12 9:23am
Theresa May ‘even tried Cillit Bang’ to remove Abu Qatada

Home Secretary, Theresa May, today admitted the desperate lengths to which the Government has gone in its ongoing battle to remove Abu Qatada. ‘Obviously, we started out with standard judicial...

Qoxiivi 20.04.12 9:22am