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UK Met Office to launch cutting edge nationwide 'riotcasts' 5
Gary Stanton 4 years

The Met Office in conjunction with people who do this kind of thing are to launch the first forecasts for riot conditions throughout the UK . Since the initial outbreak of violent disorder, experts...

Disappearance of hypersonic space plane not that surprising 0
Fake Vegetarian 4 years
Looter jailed for stealing complete works of Keats. Poetic justice, say police. 0
dominic_mcg 4 years
Police planning to check "What I did in the holidays" essays in September 7
greg various 4 years
Obama Says America Needs A President With Balls 0
Textbook 4 years

and subsequently announced that he will step aside to allow Hillary Clinton to run in 2012...

WI markets fall as Europe imposes a ban on short bread selling 0
button 4 years
Camp site attacked by polari bear 8
charlies_hat 4 years
Most signatures on benefits e-petition found to be fraudulent 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
France to extend short-selling ban to all men over 50 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Michael Winner’s wedding film expected to go straight to DVD 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Next riots scheduled to fuck up Parliaments winter break 0
FlashArry 4 years
Decline and fall of Western civilisation thwarted by a little light drizzle 0
FlashArry 4 years
Is writing "Please advise" and "ASAP" annoying? Please advise, ASAP! 2
Dumbnews 4 years
Police can now shoot 'sociologists' on sight 0
Porbeagle 4 years

Senior Tories have called today for an indefinite ban on socioeconomic analysis of the riots. David Cameron, speaking recently, said to anyone who has already taken part in such behaviour: "You will...

L'Oreal shares "no longer worth it". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 4 years
Fat bloke admits, “I eat too much”. 1
theboot 4 years

Twenty-five stone John Whittaker has finally discovered the source of his life-long weight gain that has had doctors puzzled for two decades. “It’s a real relief to finally get to the bottom of...

Mugged student gutted, 'bastards stole all the stuff I'd just looted' 0
MADJEZ 4 years
Chelsea’s rivals send Torres best wishes for speedy recovery from injury 2
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Rupert Murdoch behind riots 1
cuckoowatoo 4 years

Today, it can be exclusively revealed that Rupert Murdoch is the man behind the riots which have taken place across England in the last week. In an ironic twist to the scandal it has been exposed...

Oldsters turn feral after Alco Werthers mixup 0
Drylaw 4 years

"I could have told them there would be trouble.and there was." So said despondent care home manager Ron Parks yesterday as he picked his way over a pile of broken glass, smashed easy chairs and...

Closure of NoTW forces Indian team to make it more obvious they've taken a bung 0
charlies_hat 4 years
David Cameron promises to stop the looting just needs the 635 MP's 0
als-jazz-era 4 years
Large Indian buffet available at Edgbaston ... 4
brownpaperreporter 4 years
Cameron and Boris to appear on Pointless 0
Warrenpeace 4 years

David Cameron and Boris Johnson are to appear as a team on the BBC Show POINTLESS to test the limits of their pointless knowledge., A spokesman for No 10 said "Both are reputed to be skilled in the...

Tests show that Gavin from Autoglass's accent can crack a windscreen 0
greg various 4 years

from two streets away...

Novelty microphones getting out of hand say media watchers 0
virtuallywill 4 years

Coca Cola to launch Arab Spring and British Summer brands 0
simonjmr 4 years

"Democracy is coming. democracy is coming. Arab Spring is the real thing" "I'd like to teach to Brits to loot and riot in perfect disharmony. English Summer it's the real thing" More soon...

“Thank F*ck for that!” says Met riot officer after hearing of Boris’ return. 5
Corrigan 4 years

Riot Police in London are breathing a collective sigh of relief today after receiving word of the return to UK of Mayor of London Boris Johnson and Prime Minister David Cameron. Territorial Support...

Candle shops targeted as riots turn into vigils 0
Fake Vegetarian 4 years
Looters apologise to communities for causing two days of visits by politicians 6
The Paper Ostrich 4 years

Senior looters have returned early from their summer riots to apologise to local communities across England for unleashing a wave of visits by annoying, insincere politicians. There was widespread...