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James Cameron denies that the Smurfs movie is actually Avatar 2 0
Iamthestig 4 years
Eurozone crisis deepens as Sarkozy tells Merkel to bring sandwiches to meeting 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Rail commuters relieved fares to increase less than petrol prices 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Tractors and mud on road thwart rural broadband boost 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Norfolk Iron Age road dated by ‘Road works-Delays Possible until Sept 35AD’ sign 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Engineers warn Cameron against zero tolerance 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
May apologises: 'I meant we need police cunts, not cuts' 0
Des Custard 4 years

Home Secretary Theresa May, 54, today apologised for misleading the public over her intentions for the police service [i][IS IT WORTH WRITING THIS UP AS A FULL SUB, OR IS IT AN OLD IDEA?][/i]...

Boost for fisherman as North Sea fish now coming in their own oil 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Ryan Air flights so depressing passengers required to remove belts to board 0
gaijintendo 4 years

Slip on shoes now preferred, and flight attendants make mandatory passenger checks every 15 minutes...

QPR loss leaves Bernie Ecclestone a bit short. 1
rebel not taken 4 years

QPR's strategic 4-0 home defeat to a poor Bolton team has left penny pinching QPR owner Bernie Ecclestone feeling hard done by. Billionaire Bernie's hopes of trousering 100million quid by flogging...

Rioters prepare to test olympic security 0
Boroughbloke 4 years

In the latest test of preparations for next year's London olympics rioters will tonight hold a looting festival at the olympic park in Stratford, east London. As 2,500 rioters from nearby Hackney and...

Unborn child charged in rioting crackdown 2
theboot 4 years

A 30 week-old foetus is believed to be the youngest person charged in connection with the riots that swept England’s cities last week. The foetus which cannot be named because it doesn’t yet have...

Everest join BlackBerry as official sponsors of future riots 1
Qoxiivi 4 years

Double glazing company, Everest Limited, have today been appointed as an official co-sponsor of any future riots. David Squires, CEO of the window repair and installation specialists, is delighted...

Fine print of "Buy one, get one FREE!" misunderstood by looters 1
Dumbnews 4 years

After receiving one for free, looters return to buy one?...

Mecca set to become tourist Blackpool 0
Nick McCarr 4 years
Reverse Masturbation Found to Cure Blindness 3
thisisall1word 4 years

after being reminded by the bionic hand story (Qoxiivi) dredged up that one liner from previous long ago thread...

Cameron assures public, 'it's not me, it's you'. 1
Darkbill 2.0 4 years

Prime Minister David Cameron today admitted to the British people that he feels their relationship isnt working out but that it is clearly their fault and not his. I hope we can still be friends he...

Balloon enquiry blames physics for accident 0
Screenie 4 years
Experts fear teenage boy fitted with bionic hand will be ‘blind within a year’ 6
Qoxiivi 4 years
Bottom 99% of multi-millionaire club criticise Buffet tax increase proposal 0
thisisall1word 4 years

Anyone thing of any better/more angles (and some jokes) for this? Feel free to re-use if anyone wants American's super rich have criticised suggestions made by Warren Buffet, the incomprehensibly...

'Supercop' says rioters suffer from low self-esteem 0
roybland 4 years
Shop looter says lessons learned, humblest day of life, time to move on 1
ronseal 4 years
Spanish bull kills third victim - a cow was quoted asking "What's his beef?" 0
DavidEllisKent 4 years

On taking stock of the situation (*snort*), whoever called the bull "Mouse" needs to wear a sign around their neck proclaiming "I am Number 4"...

Driver spotted using two mobile phones behind wheel is banned for 12 months..... 0
DavidEllisKent 4 years

and is now a semi-finalist on Britain's Got Talent. Simon Cowell would like to see him using five phones and an Ipad, whilst driving backwards up a one way street at 70mph if he is to make it to the...

Collective Punishment for Rioters. Councils are 'Up For It'. 0
Dun Dunkin 4 years

Councils will evict a whole housing estate or block of flats and reduce it to rubble if one person living there is found to have taken part in the riots...

Milliband dismisses 'Boris's broom' shaped reflex hammer as knee-jerk gimmickry. 0
spoole2112 4 years

The Prime Minister's latest novel (and possibly hurriedly drafted) attempt to address some of the 'sick in our society' was met with a mixtue of bemusement and sheer disbelief by many in Parliament...

Bergerac critisized as "initially standing back and observing" Jersey attacks 0
charlies_hat 4 years
Aftermath: Where did the looters go? 0
Mr McDonald 4 years

In the week following the riots that began in Tottenham last weekend, police and community leaders have united to praise the rapid decrease in street crime, robbery and arson. In the scramble to...

God confirms conversion to Islam 5
Mrblacker 4 years

In a move that's likely to cause more trouble than good, God, Founder and CEO of Christianity Inc, confirmed he's to leave the family firm and take up a position with a rival religion. In a...

Furniture shop arsonist "doesn't need to pay for 5 years" 1
Laughingstock 4 years

despite no credit check being made...