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Man "Had iPhone and Didn't Tell Anyone" 0
De-scribe 3 years

A court has heard that Newcastle financial advisor Darren Mortimer possessed an iPhone for several months without revealing to friends or family that he had obtained the device on an 18 month...

Medics express 'concern' as Danny Alexander's chin continues to shrink... 2
Jammydodgers 3 years

"We've done all we can, but we have to accept that the damage may now be irreversible" said his long faced NHS consultant, reading from a short pre-pepared statement, on the steps of St. Giles...

Guitar Thief Escapes with Lute 19
De-scribe 3 years
New contraceptive gels have no side effects. Not even pregnancy. 1
euankitson 3 years
Venison price crash in Devon... 0
riesler 3 years

not as deer as before...

Auditioning for Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves disappointing say Iranian theatre 0
Gerontius 3 years

producers., He's behind you., OR, Ledbury Amateur Dramatic Society (LADS) have been forced to cancel this years pantomime after one of its leading players was sentenced to death by the Iraqi...

Police to get extra terror training just in time for Halloween. 2
Basil_B 3 years
Jack "the antlers" Stag had it coming say stag twins. 0
the coarse whisperer 3 years
UK economic growth doubles from nothing to double nothing. 0
the coarse whisperer 3 years
Early Christmas Still Likely Despite Budget Stuffing 0
De-scribe 3 years

A Guardian/NCM poll shows that there has been no widespread backlash by turkeys against an Early Christmas despite the budget stuffing announced last week. The poll shows that Early Christmas had...

X factor host in lip sync scandal! 2
simonjmr 3 years

Another miming scandal has hit the X-Factor this weekend after it was revealed that it's host Dermot O'Leary, pre-records and mimes to his links between the acts. "What seem like off the cuff...

Apple users suffering from genetic disorder, lacking "iGene" 5
hero2zero 3 years

A genetics laboratory has succeeded in isolating a genetic deficit, prevalent in fans of Apple products. A spokesperson for the company told us, “Research has proved conclusive, those desiring the...

Tiger attack at Brand/Perry Indian wedding. 1
hero2zero 3 years

Police were today questioning Andrew Sachs over his possible involvement in the Tiger attack at this weekend’s wedding after a Tiger suit was found at his London home. More later…...

London Fire Service to Introduce French Working Practices from November 5th. 0
IABP 3 years
Myers-Briggs breaks myth of "modern-day managers" and reveal they're still JFDIs 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years
Couple win prize for 3 nights in Barcelona but their not allowed out in the day 13
Basil_B 3 years

because the prize is for nights only...

Jeffrey Archer's lack of style actually imposed by editor, researcher discovers 1
rickwestwell 3 years

Following the revelation that Jane Austen was a near-illiterate whose polished style was actually added by her editor, further research has shown that with author Jeffrey Archer, the exact opposite...

Nurse who mistakenly switched off life support asked to pay Mrs Thatcher a visit 3
Genghis Cohen 3 years
Mystery clumsy waiter ruins Brand/Perry wedding reception 12
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Reports reach the Council of Elrond that Cameron has the One Ring 0
la maga 3 years

Today news was brought to the Council of Elrond in Rivendell by Gloin of the Dwarves that David Cameron, Conservative Leader and Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, is now in possession of the One...

Scientists discover gene that makes athletes forget to look at medicine labels 2
rickwestwell 3 years

Athletes who fail dope tests have traditionally relied on the excuse that, facing a bout of asthma, or perhaps seeking to boost their penis size, they innocently ingested an "over the counter"...

Gender reassignment patient rejects 'Xbox' as potential nickname. 0
Mrblacker 3 years
Middle-aged man has "had enough" 0
dogwheels 3 years

Andrew Bromley, a 45-year-old IT manager from Milton Keynes, has announced that he has "had enough". Mr Bromley said he is bored with his job and doesn't know if he would still be with his wife if...

Search for MP bicycle pump enters 3rd day 0
Gerontius 3 years

A bicycle pump, used to keep the head of a prominent MP fully inflated during the day has been stolen from a House of Commons locker revealed DCI Adam Carling of the Met, The MP, who uses the pump...

Rhetoric of the Decade Award 0
hero2zero 3 years

The votes are now in, counted and the winner of the Rhetoric of the Decade Award has been awarded to the, somewhat threadbare phrase, “We must learn from this, take stock and work together to...

Night Nurse not effective for lung cancer. 0
the coarse whisperer 3 years
Tank Formation "Probably the Best Laager in the World" 0
De-scribe 3 years
Scottish actor Alan Cumming is in President Barack Obama, 0
arrghgarry 3 years

face about his lack of action over American gays ...

Cameron to employ CSI Miami to help with forensic, relentless focus on growth 0
Basil_B 3 years
Missing Bloke was Down the Pub 0
De-scribe 3 years

A 35 year old man who went missing for more than two hours yesterday evening and sparked a major police hunt has been found safe and well in the local pub. David Young was discovered at the nearby...