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Banks Hoping For Mass Amnesia In Bid To Get Money Back 1
Svendo 3 years
Salary to be set at £50 per week for all 'ordinary', public sector workers 0
PluckyMunky 3 years

The multimillionaires, George Osborne and Prince Charles agree that 'most people will appreciate the need for this sort of prudence. Unfortunately, many of the ordinary folk won't understand the word...

Ottery St Mary -Devon "not very ottery at all" 19
MrChigleysAunt 3 years
Sponsored Don't Be A Cunt Week ruined by Osborne every year, say old schoolmates 0
la maga 3 years
Report: John Bercow is so phoney his smile doesn't even make it to his top lip 0
StoopyDeGunt 3 years
John Bercow brings 'sanctimonious dwarf' detractor down to his level.... 2
thackaray 3 years

with a head butt to Simon Burn's groin Note to Ed: Need more space in title box to write headlines...

North Korea's Kim "is a dick" 0
dogwheels 3 years

RECENT intelligence reports from North Korea have revealed that the country’s leader, Kim Jong-il, is a dick. In a leaked intelligence document, compiled by the South Korean government, it has...

Sex Fiend Claims Spy Status 0
Doctor Moptop 3 years

John Paul O'Leary of Hunts Cross, Liverpool, today claimed in court that he was a member of a Russian spy ring. "I firmly deny that I was exposing myself," he said during questioning. "In espionage...

Bank hit by 35 million overdue debt letters from each UK taxpayer 0
StoopyDeGunt 3 years

The governor of HBOS has been hit with 35 million stroppy letters reminding him that his banks is now in debt. A shocked Fred the Shred Goodwin told reporters 'it's as if I got one from every tax...

Contrite Blatter issues statement; 'What's the english for Schadenfreude?" 4
pinxit 3 years
"We've opened a can of worms" say poverty stricken dinner hosts 2
MrChigleysAunt 3 years
STOP PRESS: General David Petraeus collapses under the weight of all his medals 8
Scroat 3 years

Newly appointed to take charge of the US military in Afghanistan, General Petraeus collapsed at a press conference and could not be helped up until his medals, badges, stars, stripes, insignia,...

BP Chief: 'I want my oil back' 0
nabidana 3 years

Chief Executive of BP Tony Hayward has startled critics by demanding the return of BP’s oil washed up in marshland and beaches across the American Gulf coast. Speaking at a key shareholders...

A man called artist photos himself every day for 12 years then shows everyone. 0
arrghgarry 3 years

Admits he may not be the first to go public...

Scientists Admit, Moths Serve No Real Purpose 0
Svendo 3 years

more flapping round a lightbulb soon...

BNP in the pink 2
MrChigleysAunt 3 years

"Hey, I'm pink!" That's the revelation behind today's relaunch of the BNP following their dismal performance in the general election., "I was looking in the mirror after my monthly shower, when it...

England defence arrives home a day after rest of the team 0
TerribleTim 3 years
Box choice in Deal or No Deal to be replaced with random number generator 0
Quincel 3 years

No change in contestant performance expected...

Ex-BP boss appointed to oversee moves to make Whitehall "more business like' 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years

'Now Parliament Square has been cleared we can start drilling'...

Scotland launches next world cup song - ah fukken hate england 2
StoopyDeGunt 3 years

The Scottish FA has announced the winner of its competition to write a new world cup song. The contest organisers asked people to write a song that represents the modern, vibrant, multi cultural...

All relationships a bit shit really, admits relationship counsellor 3
la maga 3 years

Thomas Narwhal, a relationship counsellor from Devon, today admitted that relationships really don't have much going for them. "It's not something we generally like to say, y'know?" he said. "Our...

Kew Gardens not worth the wait, admits dyslexic 0
Mr.3374 3 years

More soon., Sorry if bindun...

Police amazed at improved driving standards 0
Mr.3374 3 years

"Hardly anyone has the red cross of shame now, our drivers are almost as good as Scotland's now, where red crosses were a very rare sight, and the drivers often subjected to abuse for being of that...

French Border Agency urges FIFA to reconsider stance on Gaul line technology 2
AJT 3 years
New revolutionary technology automates the bloody overthrow of the ruling order 0
StoopyDeGunt 3 years

A new computer system from Castro Solutions is to revolutionise British society - by catalysing change, enhancing the class struggle and automating the process of barricade storming, ensuring that it...

Season long study by ITV commentator finds that first goal was 'very important' 0
StoopyDeGunt 3 years

A new study conducted by Matt Smith of ITV has rocked the football world to its foundations by revealing that the first goal of a football match is 'very important'. In a five year study, covering...

Home Office spending cuts: CCTV in UK cities replaced by 'creepy' portraits 0
thackaray 3 years

As part of cost cutting measures, the Home Secretary announced plans to replace costly CCTV with portraits that give people the "willies" and make the ordinary public feel safer, in the knowledge...

England's national team is envy of world, says press officer Alistair Campbell 0
StoopyDeGunt 3 years

Alistair Campbell, the England team's new press officer has been briefing against critics of the squad's performance. 'Listen, mate, I've been listening to people and what they say is this. England...

In the event of tied leadership contest, Miliband Brothers to Roshambo 0
AJT 3 years
England backlash latest: Brand Beckham takes on a new meaning 0
StoopyDeGunt 3 years