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Beckham and Olympic Committee Proclaimed Gods for Bringing Fire To Cornwall 1
thisisall1word 18.05.12 11:48pm
Olympic flame dies at passport control

"Name?", "David Beckham.", "David Beckham my arse. What's that in your hand?", "The Olympic flame.", "Olympic flame my arse. Put it out."...

Boutros 18.05.12 10:32pm
Inventor of Ceefax fails to tick round to 86 0
charlies_hat 18.05.12 7:57pm
Zuckerberg crestfallen as Facebook bought with Euros 1
Mandy Lifeboat 18.05.12 7:37pm
Mandy Lifeboat
Support YOUR police - commit easily detected, finable crimes

Are YOU worried about crime? Do you lay awake at night, trying to balance the costs of society breaking down, with the price of a bobby's helmet? Well, now YOU can help. Just follow Theresa May's...

18.05.12 7:28pm
Greek ATMs start begging

ATM machines belonging to Greek banks have started begging passers-by for money. Bank employees have reprogrammed the machines and skinny dogs are being attached to each machine...

apepper 18.05.12 6:59pm
Old Saying: The shares in Spain go mainly down the pan 1
Stan 18.05.12 6:53pm
Isle of Wight to stage full state funeral for Colin McIntyre 0
Mandy Lifeboat 18.05.12 6:45pm
Mandy Lifeboat
Revealed! Rebekah Brooks and Simply Red one and the same person. 0
Maverick 18.05.12 6:40pm
Peer of the realm arrested for taking incendiary device onto plane. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 18.05.12 5:51pm
New Royal Enclosure opened at Chester Zoo

After a long and difficult journey from the South of the country, the Queen and Prince Philip were finally released into their new enclosure at Chester Zoo today. Philip seemed to settle in...

Nails UK 18.05.12 4:27pm
Mr Target
Police alerted as Rochdale priest opens takeaway 0
medici2471 18.05.12 3:54pm
Olympic flame extinguished as 'no smoking' signs are illuminated 0
Haywood Manley 18.05.12 2:58pm
Haywood Manley
Ay Caramba! Los bandidos han robado todo el dinero. 1
Tomfinger 18.05.12 2:43pm
Adam Smith to tell Levison that emails were sent by an invisible hand 0
charlies_hat 18.05.12 1:48pm
Tatchell criticises queen 0
nostra da mouse 18.05.12 1:30pm
nostra da mouse
cricket loving milliner invents 'fast bowler' 0
Underconstruction 18.05.12 12:54pm
Women hate you if your poo doesn't stink, writes Daily Mail's Samantha Brick

Women hate other women who's poo doesn't stink, says a Samantha Brick article in today's Daily Mail. And the French women are the worst, the final version of the piece reveals. Brick (and a team of ...

ronseal 18.05.12 12:48pm
Rebekah Brooks tops Sunday Times witch list 5
nickb 18.05.12 12:47pm
Dave’s Rough Guide to Parenting

As Prime Minister, I believe that there is nothing more important than raising a child. All of society needs to pitch in and debate issues such as breastfeeding versus bottle feeding, rather than...

Yikes 18.05.12 12:46pm
Government defends 'Eastenders is about to start' texts aimed at new parents 0
Underconstruction 18.05.12 12:43pm
Monarch's lunch will be cheaper than dining with Cameron Queen tells reporters 0
Scronnyglonkle 18.05.12 11:58am
Spain Downgrades Credit Ratings Agency's Credibility To 'Cobblers'

More later. . ...

Terrance Clench 18.05.12 11:58am
Terrance Clench
Euro Crisis Over As Greek Government Reveals Its 17 Shares In Facebook

Markets soared today on the news that the Greek Government has dusted off a document revealing ownership of 17 shares in Facebook. After today’s Facebook share float Greece can clear all its...

daneade 18.05.12 10:27am
Warrington memorial theft: Dental hygienist admits removing plaque. 2
weematt 18.05.12 10:16am
Liverpool FC speak to Wigan's Bob Martin about managing their dogs dinner 0
charlies_hat 18.05.12 10:04am
Well, that's the end of summer then! 0
beau-jolly 18.05.12 9:46am
Cleckheaton Parish Council (East) set to downgrade Moody's

Cleckheaton Parish Council (East) have served notice of their intention to downgrade Moody's Credit Rating Agency to 'about 4 out of 10'. Council elder Dereck Spencer, speaking to the press after...

Bonaparte Shandy 18.05.12 9:42am
Bonaparte Shandy
Chance of a long hot Summer, predicted 0
simonjmr 18.05.12 9:41am
Boris Johnson hailed as perfect fit to host "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue" 0
seymour totti 18.05.12 9:24am
seymour totti