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Farmer asks Rihanna to 'cover her assets'

Baabadian singer, Rihanna, has been asked to 'cover up her ass' by a farmer who's field she was using to shoot one of her latest crop of videos. 'I'm not sure what would a tractor to my fields in...

13
Screenie 27.09.11 2:54pm
Screenie
Council's plans to improve roadside drainage ditched 0
greg various 27.09.11 10:30am
greg various
Heather Mills breaks down on last leg of journey

metal fatigue blamed...

3
witless 27.09.11 5:32pm
witless
Recession news: Sex industry to lose 3000 positions. 0
John Ffitch-Rucker 27.09.11 10:16am
John Ffitch-Rucker
Toilet paper costs slashed in Navy jobs cut

Andrex shares down the pan...

0
witless 27.09.11 10:10am
witless
Shipman defends his actions through medium (with a little help from a friend)

It was a seriously wrong move that cost him his entire career, but doctor, Harold Shipman, has spoken up from the dead through a medium and said it was appropriate for him to be punished. Porky...

1
witless 27.09.11 5:40pm
witless
BAE staff unions beg Government to start another war now "Lives depend on it!" 2
dvo4fun 28.09.11 8:56am
Midfield Diamond
Fencing company announces loss of 3000 posts 5
bonjonelson 27.09.11 2:43pm
John Ffitch-Rucker
Teenage boy still searching for elusive 'porn star' girlfriend

"They aren't at all like the girls on the internet, ready to get at it at the drop of a hat, all they seem to be interested in is shopping, clothes and slagging that girl off from 4b. Though I'd love...

1
simonjmr 27.09.11 10:44am
allmyownstunts
Jettison Selected at Weapons Company – Press Release demanded by Shareholders

(Alternative version of greg various's sub.)...

0
Midfield Diamond 27.09.11 9:16am
Midfield Diamond
Labour party stitch together all senior party members - Human Milliband created 0
simonjmr 27.09.11 9:10am
simonjmr
Experiment on RSC thespians show them grooming each other and swinging on a tyre 0
charlies_hat 27.09.11 9:08am
charlies_hat
Political chameleon Miliband to dazzle conference by repeatedly changing colour

Ed Miliband will take on the mantle of political chameleon in a closing speech to the party conference later this week by adapting the colour of his skin to appeal to all shades of the electorate....

6
Gary Stanton 27.09.11 3:01pm
Gary Stanton
Ten Milibands make one Centiband, claim scientists.

I'm here all week, try the veal., By the same token, one thousand Milibands could form one Band. But it would play shit and repetitive music and the lead singers would fall out with each other over...

3
SpankyMonkey 27.09.11 5:31pm
edmartin
nomadic tribe applies to high commissioner to secure promised land

as assigned to them by the European human rights bible. However following the problems caused by forcing to convert nomads into settlers and the constant attack through their militant indigenous...

0
4ty2 27.09.11 8:50am
4ty2
Berlusconi/Pope's repeated under age sex denials 'smack of desperation'

Deny them once and then leave it. The more you protest, the guiltier you look, Silvio/Your eminency...

1
SpankyMonkey 27.09.11 8:56am
vertical
Wooden garden building manufacturer to shed workers 5
spoole2112 27.09.11 2:02pm
spoole2112
Challenging day for Dr Christian as his mum guests on Embarrassing Bodies

Normally unflappable Dr Christian Jessen’s silky consulting skills were tested to their fullest today as his mother surprised him by guesting on his no-holds-barred medical show. Normally a...

16
allmyownstunts 28.09.11 7:26am
Gerontius
Berlusconi 'underage sex payment' shock. "I've never paid for it" says Pope

No more efforts to fit this gag in. Honest...

0
dvo4fun 27.09.11 8:22am
dvo4fun
Berlusconi 'underage sex payment' shock "I've never paid for it" claims Pop

No more soon I hope...

2
dvo4fun 27.09.11 9:43am
dvo4fun
Berlusconi 'underage sex payment' scandal: "I've never paid for it" boasts

More soon [hopefully the pope line hasn't disapeared on this version]...

0
dvo4fun 27.09.11 8:17am
dvo4fun
Miliband launches attack on strippers.

There's better that can be done with this one, but I can't be arsed, and I have a meeting to go to...

0
SpankyMonkey 27.09.11 8:15am
SpankyMonkey
in memoriam Michael Faherty or Fatharta, late of Co Galway - near Limerick

Mr Michael O'Fatharta of Galway, hisself combusted and passed all away., Within the benighted, his shite had ignited, and the pall still hangs over the Bay...

0
edmartin 27.09.11 8:13am
edmartin
Berlusconi 'underage sex payment' scandal.' "I've never paid for it " 0
dvo4fun 27.09.11 8:11am
dvo4fun
UBS rogue trader distraught as he fails to get a financial scam named after him

Kweku Adoboli's attempt to have his name last forever through having a scam named after him has failed. In a ruling from the European Court of Financial Scam Names, his attempt to be nominated in the...

0
brownpaperreporter 27.09.11 7:33am
brownpaperreporter
Men! Turn your Four AM tinkle into a tweet 0
Drylaw 27.09.11 7:32am
Drylaw
Milliband to give the Speech of hs life, of his life

All the party leaders will deliver make or break speeches this week, as is traditional. But Ed Milliband must give the speech of his life, of his life. Possibly even of his life. Some experts say it...

5
ronseal 06.09.13 1:55pm
Titus
Hollywood Filmmakers Urged To Reconsider "Show, Don't Tell" Policy 0
Textbook 27.09.11 2:01am
Textbook
THE FUHRER RECITES

Comrades, in safe deposit box of the Schikelguber family, following masterpiece was discovered with used condoms with names of ladies written on same, apparent “trophy condoms” of future...

0
yuri_nahl 26.09.11 11:35pm
yuri_nahl
Flash still won't work on new iPhone - but Cillit Bang does.

Bang. And the dirt, all your contacts and your entire iTunes library is gone...

2
Boutros 26.09.11 11:37pm
Boutros