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Looking for big-name signing, Blackburn buy Jan Venegoor of Hesselink... 4
Doylem 4 years
After brief visit home with son,man dissapointingly 4
Malcum eggs 4 years

finds unlevel playing fields decides to return to stomping ground...

Dogged Determination Wins Out 7
maxshreck 4 years

Just five days after winning the competition, The Apprentice 2010 winner Stella English has been disqualified. Following a series of background checks, it emerged that the mother of two has...

Captain Kirk relieved of Starship Enterprise command afterCCTV footage broadcast 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
News of NI water chief’s resignation leaks to the press 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Bristol police arrest 65 year old man in connection with attack on Prince’s car 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Police poke killer on facebook: Operation "Cunning Plan" begins 0
virtuallywill 4 years

Hopes he will tweet a confession...

EastEnders New Shock Plot Leaked: The Human Centipede 3
shitsu_tonka 4 years

Currently under fire for its lurid cot death and baby swapping story, soap opera EastEnders is today at the centre of a fresh controversy following the leak of a plotline that will shock even the...

Royal Navy Sacks Captain Horatio Pugwash 1
arflaethel 4 years

Controversy raged throughout the Admiralty amidst complaints from anonymous crew members of HMS Multicultural Piglet (cabin boy Tom, pirates Willy and Barnabas, and Master Mate) that Captain Pugwash...

'Brief History of Time' voted most bought, and least read, book of 20th century. 9
Doylem 4 years
Commuter outrage as terrorist attempts to blow himself up on Quiet Carriage 8
Ludicity 4 years

A suicide bomber has been condemned by rail passengers for attempting to blow himself up in a carriage clearly designated as a ‘Quiet Zone’. The incident, which took place on the 17:42 from...

Dollar devaluation hurts dollar stores nationwide 0
Dumbnews 4 years
Louisiana skies rain dead birds. 0
Trickster 4 years

Cats and Dogs due tomorrow...

Cameron and Clegg not happy about being called a pair of 'C's. 3
Trickster 4 years
Writers’ Room 2.5% wider in 'loose interpretation' of new VAT rate. 0
malgor 4 years
New Facebook profile allows more accidental clicks of ads 0
Dumbnews 4 years
Reardon snookered as strangling gloves inside pizza box are found in his gaff. 6
Malcum eggs 4 years
‘Crazed loner community’ not as homogeneous as first thought... 2
Doylem 4 years
Police release new photos of Royal attackers 3
antharrison 4 years

The Metropolitan Police has revealed a new set of grainy images of people it wishes to interview in relation to the pre-Christmas attack on the car transporting Prince Charles and The Duchess of...

BT to launch “toilet wall” telephone directory 0
SparkyJim 4 years

Facing increasing competition from Google and social media platforms, the division tasked with distributing the ever more obsolete telephone directory for BT, has today hit back by launching a much...

Yorkshire earthquake "was caused by Prescott's pie prediliction" 0
Matt T 4 years

The earthquake which hit northern England at 9pm last night has been blamed on John Prescott who fell off a ladder whilst reaching for some pies, sending shockwaves through Skipton. The former MP...

As America is found not to be the fattest place on earth, Dominos and Pizza hut 0
Malcum eggs 4 years

expecting busy day...

This is one I pulled off earlier... 3
the coarse whisperer 4 years

This could get messy...

Pickles swells overnight in FAT rise 3
immac 4 years

Eric Pickles, the Secretary for Consumeties and Personal Nourishment, has increased by two-and-a-half per cent overnight in the controversial FAT rise. Already 27 stones, Mr Pickles soared to an...

Bob Holness to recreate his Baker Street sax solo at Gerry Rafferty’s funeral... 0
Doylem 4 years
Sorry guys, I had to pull this one too... 4
Trickster 4 years

Got offered a million squid for it. And as I love seafood...

Horse racing to abandon archaic ‘first past the post’ system... 1
Doylem 4 years
Surgeon who removed leg confirms star is actually 97, not 94 as previously thoug 1
Gerontius 4 years


Spielberg denies responsibility for copy-cat Great White attack on fishermen 1
Ian Searle 4 years

In other news, a University Professor thinks he may have discovered the final resting place of the Arc of the Covenant, and huge planet sized space craft looks set to destroy the world...

Another sub pulled when Hollywood came calling... 3
Doylem 4 years

I just got a call from Hollywood. They want to make my sub into a film. They’re going to change the location, from rural Cumbria to LA, and it looks like Nicholas Cage will be taking the lead,...