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Hold Carlos close and talk quietly and calmly to him

Man City chiefs send Mancini on tantrum management course...

1
Plockton Assbeard 28.09.11 10:34pm
borednow
Former MP Douglas Hogg criticises Coroner's expenses claim for cleaning Moat

More later. I'll get my white coat...

1
dvo4fun 30.09.11 5:42pm
dvo4fun
Scam Nets Vulnerable Victims

Over 200,000 people in the UK may have fallen victim to criminals who woo them online in order to steal their money. Researchers from Leicester University discovered that amongst those surveyed one...

1
medici2471 28.09.11 5:45pm
Crapwerewolf
Tainted US melons kill up to 16

That's what you get when you eat fruit that's been rubbed around your arse. More soon...

0
simonjmr 28.09.11 3:37pm
simonjmr
Elton and Michael Jackson's Doctor collaborate on 'Mumbling in the Wind' project 0
dvo4fun 28.09.11 2:51pm
dvo4fun
Court denies family's bid to cull vegetative-state politician "M"

more later...

0
dvo4fun 28.09.11 2:44pm
dvo4fun
Newshit FM - Last With The News.

Newshit Fm – Last With The News, today confirmed that US tennis ace [i]Jimmy Connors[/i] has walked away as winner of the 1982 US Open tournament. Reports suggest he beat the Czech maestro Ivan...

0
gremlins 28.09.11 2:29pm
gremlins
Seven in a bid for Irish presidency

As Doc, Grumpy, Happy, Sleepy, Bashful, Sneezy, and Dopey announce their nominations, there are rumours that Israeli transsexual Dana International is also considering entering the presidential race....

3
simonjmr 27.10.11 3:23pm
simonjmr
Indian Sumner to be called Stingh

Removes coat - gets it again...

0
beau-jolly 28.09.11 1:46pm
beau-jolly
Tory Glastonbury death classified as 'natural for a Tory' 0
simonjmr 28.09.11 1:42pm
simonjmr
Microsoft TV ad to feature re-recorded Genesis hit "Turn It Off and On Again". 0
seymour totti 28.09.11 1:37pm
seymour totti
Labour Party "deeply disappointed" as High Court disallows leader's demise. 0
Crapwerewolf 28.09.11 1:35pm
Crapwerewolf
A nation mourns: Where were you when David Miliband lost the leadership race!!

Over a year has now passed since the defeat of David Miliband by his victorious brother Ed Miliband, and with it the death of new Labour. A nation now reflects those momentous times and it's...

1
simonjmr 28.09.11 3:51pm
Screenie
Saudi King lashes out at women drivers

says - Arabian caravans too complicated for women to reverse...

0
witless 28.09.11 12:48pm
witless
Bramble as solid as ever in the box says Bruce

more to follow...

1
tedweasel 28.09.11 3:07pm
Midfield Diamond
Hague infiltrates Labour Conference masquerading as a schoolboy

William Hague, masquerading as 16 year old schoolboy Wory Real, addressed the Labour conference and as usual, made the audience weep. In an excellent disguise (bright red wig borrowed from his ex...

0
witless 28.09.11 12:26pm
witless
Another Gordon Brown promise broken - "Boom" and "Bust" to both go back into OED

Boffins at the Department of Words have confirmed the shock re-admission of the two words Gordon Brown promised to see the end of now that they are well and truly back in common use., "The burly...

0
grottymonty 28.09.11 12:19pm
grottymonty
Shoppers stunned as Bonham Carter and Burton spotted ‘looking normal’

Shoppers were said to be shocked by the conventional appearance of actress Helena Bonham Carter and her film director partner Tim Burton in an Oxfordshire branch of Waitrose. ‘I was stunned,’...

0
Clarky 28.09.11 12:19pm
Clarky
Employment market for hate-figures reaching saturation point, experts claim

An entire generation of aspiring arseholes could be forced to pursue meaningful employment as the job market for media hate-figures reaches saturation point, recruitment experts have warned. Tim...

8
Qoxiivi 29.09.11 4:37pm
Gerontius
‘I didn’t mean to kill him’ - Jacko's medic on Involuntary Manslaughter charge 0
Midfield Diamond 28.09.11 12:06pm
Midfield Diamond
Lion King Auction

fails to make reserve...

1
witless 28.09.11 1:37pm
beau-jolly
Whip manufacturer announces cut backs

Does that work? I got too confused and panicked. Note:, Title was originally:, Reduction in cut backs at Cat o' nine tails testing plant as rope prices sour but changed to current through...

18
Screenie 29.09.11 8:57am
witless
Failure of drawing pin maker blamed on new tax 0
beau-jolly 28.09.11 11:23am
beau-jolly
Government urges NHS to minimise use of life prolonging drugs

If only it weren't true...

0
spoole2112 28.09.11 11:22am
spoole2112
Rare crisps packets used by Gary Linekar in 1994 to be auctioned 1
simonjmr 28.09.11 11:43am
witless
Saudi's ban on women drivers is another example of 'Health and Safety gone mad' 0
Screenie 28.09.11 10:39am
Screenie
General, plotting to overthrow government, gets the putsch 0
greg various 28.09.11 10:29am
greg various
Family of late pacemaker inventor say "his heart will go on" 2
beau-jolly 28.09.11 2:47pm
Screenie
Man invents paper that wont cut for the office

and military grade cover-sheets for tactical warfare...

0
gaijintendo 28.09.11 10:11am
gaijintendo
Striking striker Carlos Tevez was 'on a break'

It has been revealed that Carlos Tevez did not refuse to come off the bench against Bayern Munich in the Champions League yesterday, but was on his ten minutes every four hours break to which every...

1
Screenie 28.09.11 11:29am
dvo4fun