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Investing in beer a bad idea admits local drunk 0
AndyOverhead 4 years

Local park bench regular, Hugh Jangover, admitted yesterday that investing his money, all generous donations from park visitors, was doomed to failure from the off-set., "I bought the beer with the...

Marching band unveils “different drummer”... 0
Doylem 4 years
Two "Throw-Back" Football Groundsmen Give Up Cushy Job In UK..... 1
Jesse Bigg 4 years

..Due to sudden appearance of female grass cutter...

Sponge Bob has claimed responsibilityfor placing baby grand piano on Miami beach 2
Ian Searle 4 years
Cheryl Cole's Hair Extensions to Fight For Royalties 3
AndyOverhead 4 years

A top city lawyer, Vincenzo Diablo-Sempre, has announced that Cheryl Cole's hair extensions have instructed him to pursue Ms Cole for royalties following the remarkable rise to fame of the...

Austerity Measures to shorten alphabet 3
AndyOverhead 4 years

In a ground breaking effort to save money, the government plan to introduce measures to remove the letters Z, Q, V, and J from the alphabet., A statement read "We have realised that the simple...

Channel 5 to revive 'Minipops' and 'Black & White Minstrel Show' 4
pinxit 4 years

Banned programmes from over 30 years ago are to be resurrected by Channel 5, media-mogul Richard Desmond revealed today. Launching Channel 5's new season of programmes owner Desmond, flanked by a...

Germany sign Barbie for Women's World Cup - Ken sacked for making sexist comment 0
Ian Searle 4 years
Tic tac man accused of sexist comments by the deaf 2
simonjmr 4 years
“Don’t throw shit in the rivers”, say Greens. “That’s what canals are for”... 0
Doylem 4 years
Pulled. Sorry. 4
pinxit 4 years
BBC to cut adjectives, adverbs from broadcasts 5
wwwiz 4 years

Latest fallout from budget cuts was announced by BBC global news director Peter Horrocks. Calling it "a [] day for the BBC," Horrocks warned that prepositional phrases may be next on the chopping...

Builders and Taxi Drivers are true Timelords, claim researchers 3
simonjmr 4 years

Researchers have today outlined that surveys prove that builders and taxi drivers have time bending, stopping and stretching abilities akin to those portrayed in the hit BBC show Dr. Who. A senior...

London Man Seen Smiling Shocker 0
AndyOverhead 4 years

Commuters in London's busy King's Cross Station were stunned this morning when a man walked through the station openly smiling., Whilst initially he passed through a large section of the station...

murdoch admits to phone hacking in his media empire but perfectly safe 0
4ty2 4 years

when the health and safety guidelines are followed. It is usually used as a form of stress relief or when presented with the next generation of technology., However he would pledge for his staff to...

Today on Yesterday TV: Fred Dibnah Nazi Collaborator 1
Lucy4 4 years

This episode of the ground breaking series plots Fred’s rise from humble window cleaner to steeplejack and goes on to explain how an unfortunate accident when a train was late leaving a station...

Lip Service budget escapes cuts 0
Des Custard 4 years

Chancellor George Osborne announced today that in the face of cuts to almost every public service, the spending budget for the Lip Service is to increase annually in real terms throughout the current...

Souvenirs from the Museum of American History proudly made in China 1
Dumbnews 4 years
Geoff Stelling to replace Andy Gray and Richard Keyes Geof feels he is in touch 0
melody 4 years

with his feminine side through his better half Stella .Although he has not been a practicing transvestite for many tears he feels he could drag out those clothes from his closet if need be .When he...

Police banned from entering park after 8.00pm doe to safety concerns 2
melody 4 years

however if officers in their free time wish to enter and beat and rape people ,then there is nothing we can do ,apart from sweep it under the carpet ...

'Couple of pints' with Kim Jong-il ends badly for local bell-end 9
Golgo13 4 years

Renowned dickhead, Dave Keats (21) was rushed to Manchester Royal Infirmary in critical condition last night after what started as a friendly drink with the North Korean dictator turned ugly over a...

LibDems blissfully unaware of their upcoming scapegoat role, claims PM 2
bonjonelson 4 years

A secret memo leaked from the office of the Prime Minister today seems to indicate that leading figures in the Conservative Party are preparing the LibDems to be scapegoats for any possible failings...

Rats Found In Downing Street 0
Jesse Bigg 4 years

A throw-back species with the nomenclature - Scrooge Dave and Double-Dip Osbourne...

Romford man is first to have anus exorcised 8
finneyp 4 years

A Romford man has become the first person to have his rectum exorcised following an outbreak of Ghost Poos. David McManus, 28, of Riverside Close encountered his first Phantom Poop three weeks ago...

Next version of Windows to be rolled out in series of "Security Updates" 2
Dumbnews 4 years
Sky to launch new comedy channel of Jim Davidson's shows. 0
martin2381 4 years
Woodland sell-off: bears may be forced to shit elsewhere... 1
Doylem 4 years
Scottish expats Mexico to get new tartan the Cameron diaz 0
simonjmr 4 years
Gender test proves SA runner Caster Semenya cannot understand offside rule 4
bonjonelson 4 years

[more soon]...

Osborne: Civil servants’ leaving parties are good for the economy. 0
Fred 4 years