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French troops take TimbukOne, next stop ................... 0
Maverick 28.01.13 12:50am
Maverick
Linda and Heather found to contain 100% McCartney sausage

h/t nowherefast...

2
medici2471 28.01.13 12:04am
medici2471
Cumberbatch to plug Wikileaks in new movie

A headline for the new movie that will star Eggs Benedict Cucumber Patch/...

0
theinvisiblecitychannels 27.01.13 11:10pm
theinvisiblecitychannels
The nation honours 'prescient Paul' for the lovely weather

In a shock announcement today, a previously unknown scientist is a surprise late addition to the New Year's Honours list, receiving an OBE for services to the nation. Paul Montgomery, 31, from...

3
Squudge 27.01.13 10:05pm
sponge finger
Nick Clegg to go Dutch in new popularity bid

Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg will make all future Coalition pronouncements in Dutch in a bid to improve his party's image. Clegg's mother is Dutch and he has a fluent grasp of the language. Lib...

1
roybland 27.01.13 9:33pm
Titus
Big girl with owie booboo on his toe fluffs tennis

more soon. . Reporter in Residence on Humanitarian Issues is away...

0
Squudge 27.01.13 8:56pm
Squudge
UK citizenship test to include technical design for Chunnel bung 0
Squudge 27.01.13 8:32pm
Squudge
Eurostar ban will just drive them underground 2
One Line Only 27.01.13 8:31pm
Squudge
Sherbert factory feeling pressure of the Double Dip recession. More soon. 3
dominic_mcg 27.01.13 8:19pm
dominic_mcg
Tory MP's In The 'Know', Rehearsing Their Lines For Post-2015 Election......

."Giz a job."...

1
Jesse Bigg 27.01.13 8:13pm
Squudge
Female U.S. troops ask "Does my bomb look big in this"? More soon. 3
Maverick 27.01.13 8:03pm
Tripod
Liverpool FC Send SOS To Roy....

"Sorry, whack, we've made a few errors lately."...

0
Jesse Bigg 27.01.13 7:28pm
Jesse Bigg
Mackerel told to “eat less”

Mackerel – long regarded as sustainable fish – have been revealed as greedy oily bastards whose own gluttony and ill temper threatens their very survival. The ugly fish survive on a diet of...

0
nickb 27.01.13 7:22pm
nickb
Horse Meat Scandal

"I told you so," says Tesco checkout after years of saying "Unexpected item in bagging area" to customers purchasing beefburgers. More soon...

7
Shellshocker 27.01.13 6:38pm
deskpilot3
“That’ll do nicely sir” Muggers to use credit cards to shorten sentence 0
dvo4fun 27.01.13 4:56pm
dvo4fun
Poor people 'still have money' government told

Government ministers have defended their policy of taking money off poor people after accusations that some still have cash in their pockets. Work and Pensions Secretary Iain Duncan Smith has...

2
roybland 27.01.13 3:21pm
Squudge
Dour Scot loses tennis match

Ahahahaha! The Joke; Not just for Wimbledon...

0
beau-jolly 27.01.13 3:06pm
beau-jolly
Army demands more “Boots on the Ground”

Despite the opening of a major branch of Boots the Chemist in Kabul, and another planned at a secret location in Helmand province, members of the armed forces are complaining of a lack of available...

0
nickb 27.01.13 1:58pm
nickb
Judges on "Iran's Got Talent" vow to leave no turn unstoned... 1
misterjingles 27.01.13 12:37pm
Squudge
David Cameroon assures UK 'we will not get involved in North Africa' 15
Dick Everyman 27.01.13 11:37am
Titus
Scandinavian detective to remain upbeat despite series of personal tragedies

Scandinavian detective to remain upbeat despite series of personal and work-based tragedies Detective Sergeant Fred Blomqvist was in no way downcast last night after falling victim to the latest in...

3
Gary Stanton 27.01.13 8:19am
Sinnick
Ladbrookes offering 100/1

A man on his way to a WWII re-enactment evening has died after being pinned to the floor by customers in a Plymouth bookmakers., The 86 year old Normandy Landing veteran had stopped off at...

0
Gerontius 26.01.13 11:38pm
Gerontius
“Let’s fantasise our way out of recession”, says upbeat Osborne...

“We need to harness the power of positive visualisation”, the chancellor said yesterday, as he urged the British people to fantasise themselves out of the anticipated triple-dip recession....

4
Tripod 26.01.13 10:45pm
Tripod
pioneering gynacologist develops new techniques in peehole surgery 2
Smart Alex 26.01.13 10:29pm
godly1966
Mafia budget cuts forces supplier switch

"When we found out that the horse head's we were buying were actually 32% cow, we were shocked" - Mafia Boss Giovani Almera explained - "So when we found out that Tesco had 2.8 million horse burgers...

0
TheModerator 26.01.13 10:20pm
TheModerator
'It's our entitlement' say Utd fans

Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson was said to be furious with match referee Mark Clattenburg for making his side wait nearly 3 minutes for their first penalty during the FA Cup encounter...

0
Nobby Holder 26.01.13 7:59pm
Nobby Holder
HS2 - High Speed Rail Link: "Great excuse to piss people off." says Minister 0
Nowherefast 26.01.13 7:03pm
Nowherefast
Additional 4p sees BP forecourts Now selling pppppetrol 0
One Line Only 26.01.13 6:14pm
One Line Only
Weather to be followed by more weather Met Office warns

More weather will follow today's weather according to a warning from Met Office forecasters. 'Normal conditions up there,' said a spokeswoman, 'will result in more weather arriving when the current...

0
roybland 26.01.13 5:23pm
roybland
Ladbrooks raider killed. What's the odds on that?

Coat, door...

3
beau-jolly 26.01.13 5:16pm
dominic_mcg