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England fans promise not to antagonise 'f***ing Irish scum' 0
John Wiltshire 29.05.13 11:56am
John Wiltshire
Ashley Cole to celebrate 100th cap by using his right foot

more soon....

Bertrand Twisted 29.05.13 11:45am
Bertrand Twisted
EDL accepts mosque's offer of Yorkshire Tea "only because it's English" 0
Bertrand Twisted 29.05.13 11:37am
Bertrand Twisted
Former IT specialist claims to be Jesus reborn - but still can't get PC to work 0
Ian Searle 29.05.13 11:36am
Ian Searle
England cricket manager's new idea for: 'Score runs and get the other side out'

Andy Flower, the manager of the England cricket team, has revealed his new idea for winning the forthcoming Ashes series. 'I've had a lot of meetings with the back room boys,' he said today. 'After...

John Wiltshire 29.05.13 11:31am
John Wiltshire
EasyOp to offer low-cost surgery on Fridays 0
Bertrand Twisted 29.05.13 11:26am
Bertrand Twisted
Critics dismiss Lyme Regis comedy festival as just Corn on the Cobb.

Aye thang yew...

Ian Searle 29.05.13 11:24am
Ian Searle
Writer of the new 'Lego Movie' admits suffering from writers block

They claim the 'wheels have fallen off' and it is difficult to build the tension. The crew have 'gone to piece's, and none of the sets are complete...

Ian Searle 29.05.13 11:21am
Ian Searle
W, L & P stolen from Alphabet. Ministers can't say What Will Happen.

Yep, it's one of those days!...

seymour totti 29.05.13 10:18am
Richard Hammond holding over 80 Afghan hounds

Not confirmed. More soon...

Sheepback 29.05.13 10:15am
£2.50 damage as Wales destroyed by earthquake

More to follow...

apepper 29.05.13 9:44am
Anonymous post The Avengers identities online

The virtual hackers group, known collectively as "Anonymous", have published the contact details for the members of Marvel Comic's The Avengers. The publication followed an audio message to Stan Lee...

Wrenfoe 29.05.13 9:17am
Australian IT man claims to be reincarnation of David Icke.

More revelations soon...

MADJEZ 29.05.13 9:05am
Posthumous BAFTA waiting for Sir Bruce Forsyth

BAFTA have confirmed they have a posthumous lifetime achievement award waiting for Sir Bruce Forsyth.  The award has been in place for the last 3 years but the industry charity are waiting for the...

Sheepback 29.05.13 8:36am
Same sex couples to be allowed to adopt new technology 0
Not Amused 29.05.13 7:54am
Not Amused
Left Alert : An ode to the NHS

Monday’s Patient will get out this place, Tuesday’s Patient will probably not die, Wednesday’s Patient is touch and go, Thursday’s Patient prospects look grim, Friday’s Patients surgeon...

Scronnyglonkle 29.05.13 7:23am
Specsavers to launch multimedia spectacles

Thanks to a visionary development announced today by the UK retail optician group Specsavers, "exciting new spectacles" will allow people to "see the world more clearly and more objectively than ever...

Arthur 29.05.13 1:20am
Cobra ask Home Secretary to have a stab at curbing knife crime. 11
weematt 28.05.13 11:33pm
People who laugh agree, they laugh with you, not because you crack a joke

NewsBiscuit was launched by John O’Farrell in September 2006 with the noble aims of eradicating global poverty, creating a lasting peace in the Middle East and providing a daily dose of humour to...

Arthur 28.05.13 10:47pm
Ashley Cole declared England captain. John Terry declared official team tosser 0
irreverendJ 28.05.13 10:10pm
EDL leader Tommy Robinson dismayed at description as hate preacher. 0
Ref Minor 28.05.13 9:49pm
Ref Minor
Population urged to 'get down' after mad mullahs declare 'Shaqira Law' 1
blacklesbianandproudofit 28.05.13 6:55pm
Bertrand Twisted
Sherpas to join Equity

In a boost to the UK's arts and entertainment industry, the Nepalese based performance group have decided to join the Actors' trade union, Equity. The Sherpas feel that for too long they have been...

Wrenfoe 28.05.13 6:35pm
Wasps fear backlash after stinging.

Fears were growing in the Wasp community of South London on Monday of a surge in hate attacks against wasps in the wake of the recent stinging of a mother of three in Carshalton. The incident, which...

bonjonelson 28.05.13 6:11pm
Consultancy firm Deloitte files for tax rebate of £500m. More soon. 0
deskpilot3 28.05.13 6:04pm
Morrisons dress code to include santa hats all year round.

Gets worse soon...

Arthur 28.05.13 6:03pm
Yorkshire to be renamed "Yooorksha"

Two extra "o"s are to be added to the name "Yorkshire". The leader of North Yorkshire county council explained, "It seems reet ta change t' nem sa 'a' those poor fowk whoa weren't born i' Yooorksha...

apepper 28.05.13 5:43pm
Britain’s terror threat levels – A Daily Mail guide.

The government recently announced that it was considering raising its terror alert warning from ‘substantial’ to ‘severe.’ But what do these warnings actually mean? The Daily Mail presents...

TheNewsWalrus 28.05.13 5:25pm
(opinion) U.S. Intellgent Designers Agree: Frack Darwin Day to Save Whales.

Question: Who was Darwin? Answer: Darwin was the talking dolphin on a show called "SeaQuest." So why are some Americans keen that this one dolphin should get his own holiday, "Darwin Day"? True,...

Lindy Moone 28.05.13 4:52pm
Dick Everyman
Man who pretended to be a fantasist is exposed as a complete realist

A man who pretended to be brilliant at 're-inventing himself' has been exposed as a complete normalist. The news will come as a massive shock to many people who'd thought he was 'the full Mandelson'...

ronseal 28.05.13 4:48pm