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Pope Benedict is just an old German guy full of shit, says taxi driver

The Pope is just an old German guy full of shit, according to London taxi driver Bruce Hicks. And Mr Hicks says that the Archbishop of Canterbury is also full of shit. Mr Hicks, who is well-known...

0
roybland 13.03.12 8:35pm
roybland
Lords Resistance Army announces policy shift.

The child brutality and murder community was reported to be ‘in shock’ last night after the surprise announcement of a ‘paradigm shift’ in the operational tactics of the terrorist group...

2
dammit 13.03.12 7:49pm
dammit
Hosepipe ban to hit colonic irrigation practitioners

More to come...

2
JustSomeBloke 13.03.12 7:27pm
JustSomeBloke
Experts disagree on who can be labelled an Expert 0
Dumbnews 13.03.12 7:25pm
Dumbnews
Scots to limit caffeine in alcohol, too many MSPs awake during debates

The Labour party in Scotland have proposed setting a maximum limit to the amount of caffeine in alcoholic drinks. Debates in the Scottish Parliament have been taking far too long due to MSPs...

0
weematt 13.03.12 6:08pm
weematt
Angela Merkin - did they throw the wrong bit away? 0
JustSomeBloke 13.03.12 6:05pm
JustSomeBloke
Police cell prices shoot up in price after celebrity endorsements

Thousands of police cells have become sought after accommodation following many wealthy celebrities moving in to them. "It used to be quite cheap to get a cell.", explain PC World, "12 cans of lager...

0
apepper 13.03.12 5:41pm
apepper
London rappers hit by hose ban

Rap artists in London and the South-East of England have been forced to rewrite many of their lyrics following the ban of hoses...

0
apepper 13.03.12 5:31pm
apepper
Hornpipe Ban “may ease drought conditions” says Royal Navy.

Sailors are to ban the hornpipe as part of a plan to ring much needed rain to the South of England. The Sailor’s Hornpipe is traditionally associated with a plea for fine weather, and the Ministry...

0
nickb 13.03.12 5:26pm
nickb
Anti 'nanny state' campaign founders as public asks 'what's a nanny?'

A major new campaign to roll back the so-called ‘nanny state’ has been pulled after only two weeks. The multi-million pound campaign ‘No to Nasty Nanny Oversight!’ (NNNO!) was pulled...

1
Skylarking 13.03.12 5:23pm
Hurrumph
Pub-name row as ‘The Hobbit’ forced to rebrand as ‘The Hairy-Footed Midget’

Following a legal notice from the Hollywood production company behind the Lord of the Rings (LOTR) films, Southampton pub ‘The Hobbit’ says it has no option but to change its name, with the...

0
grumblechops 13.03.12 5:09pm
grumblechops
Leading scientists mystefied by how to buy pants that fit 0
Dumbnews 13.03.12 4:54pm
Dumbnews
Racialist anagram writer just being satirical 7
simonjmr 13.03.12 4:52pm
simonjmr
Cyberdyne Systems to install smart meters in the UK

http://i2.listal.com/image/472396/250full.jpg The government has announced that every home in the UK is to be fitted with a smart meter, a device that measures precisely the amount of gas and...

2
Landfill 13.03.12 4:34pm
beau-jolly
Struck off dermatologist stops making rash decisions. 0
JETFAB 13.03.12 3:55pm
JETFAB
Brooks arrested for breaching horse bribe ban 9
charlies_hat 13.03.12 3:38pm
beau-jolly
Cameron to fight Sarkozy after The French arm British badgers

A boxing match is to be held between David Cameron and Nicolas Sarkozy in Paris next week, a government spokesman informed us last night. The fight is set to take place under the Arc De Triumph and...

1
mohanboone 13.03.12 2:44pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Liverpool Supporter not racist, say Liverpool Supporters

And that's good enough for us, say the CPS...

0
AndyOverhead 13.03.12 2:37pm
AndyOverhead
Hosepipe ban horror hits Home Counties

Water companies across southern and eastern England are to impose hosepipe bans amid drought conditions said to be as severe as on some parts of the Moon. 'Whole populations of the Home Counties...

2
roybland 13.03.12 2:06pm
roybland
Neighbours astonished after man who kept himself to himself doesn’t kill anyone. 6
Ian Searle 13.03.12 1:59pm
Dumbnews
‘happiest moment of my year is about 3 hours before the 1st race at Cheltenham'

Said Charlie Brooks in the Telegraph, didn't envisage he'd be spending it in a police cell More soon...

0
simonjmr 13.03.12 1:30pm
simonjmr
Olympic sex tourism hit by ho's pipe ban

more soon..hat tip simonjmr...

0
medici2471 13.03.12 12:54pm
medici2471
Islington man discovers wine that 'tastes like wine'

When Islington man Ferdinand Baxter visited his local Waitrose he didn't expect to find the wine he'd been searching for for years. 'I casually picked up this bottle of red and started to read the...

1
roybland 13.03.12 12:52pm
beau-jolly
Lonely spaceflights may damage eyesight of male astronauts

In the following thread Ironduke asked if there was a policy of wanking on the international space station, seems there might be with today's news, http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=34880...

0
simonjmr 13.03.12 12:51pm
simonjmr
Newsflash: Brooks Not Under Arrest, Just Organizing a Horse

Earlier reports that Rebekah Brooks has been arrested have now been corrected after the situation has been clarified. It appears that following the return of her Police Force loan horse, Mrs. Brooks...

0
Deimos 13.03.12 12:46pm
Deimos
New Internet Explorer 9 optimized for downloading of other browsers 1
Dumbnews 13.03.12 12:35pm
Qoxiivi
Institute for the deaf football team announce their biggest signing 0
simonjmr 13.03.12 12:17pm
simonjmr
Residents of Macynlleth furious as the sun doesn’t come out on Sunday

Counsellors and residents groups in Macynlleth have contacted The Advertising Standards Authority this week after the sun broke its promise by not coming out on Sunday. “Not a single ray”, a...

0
mohanboone 13.03.12 12:11pm
mohanboone
Rating agencies downgrade Virgin to Bucket 0
cinquecento 13.03.12 11:31am
cinquecento
Anachronistic, Self Obsessed and engaging in arcane rituals - report

A new report into the Christian Church has just been published by the Pseudo-Science Research Council which was given unprecedented behind-the-scenes access to much of the Church's daily activities....

0
ianrbland 13.03.12 11:03am
ianrbland