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Man who decided not to board Titanic described as 'isolated' by Ed Miliband 11
GreenCross 13.12.11 11:07am
Professor Higgs Announces that God May Exist

At a packed press conference earlier today, Professor Higgs has announced that there are signs that God may exist. It appears that after exhaustive investigation at great expense and despite years...

Deimos 13.12.11 10:56am
Canada pulls out of Kyoto, pulls up trousers, and goes home. 0
bonjonelson 13.12.11 10:52am
Higgs boson delayed by Swiss Immigration Agency staff in tunnel under border

more later...

dvo4fun 13.12.11 10:43am
Higgs boson seen next Tuesday 4
medici2471 13.12.11 10:39am
Footballers' Wives choir cheered to Christmas Number One

It has been described as the ultimate feel-good story, an anthem sung by a choir made up entirely of the wives of Britain's heroic footballers. Many are tipping them to be the Christmas Number One...

Oxbridge 13.12.11 10:37am
God particle ‘looks just like old white guy with beard'

There go my Sundays from now on...

John Ffitch-Rucker 13.12.11 10:04am
John Ffitch-Rucker
Geldolf hopes song about Tuesdays will double his music revenues 0
bonjonelson 13.12.11 9:54am
Young Apprentice to be renamed "Uppity Little Cunts You'd Like to Slap" 2
ronseal 13.12.11 9:48am
"Cameron Flounce" Dance Craze Hits UK...

.Main steps - don't take your partners by the hand...

Jesse Bigg 13.12.11 9:45am
Irish X Factor winners announced. Well done 'Little Micks' 3
Perks 13.12.11 9:37am
Geldof admits "Mondays not so bad after all". More soon. 2
dominic_mcg 13.12.11 9:23am
Nick Clegg sings lonely lament in protest against isolationism

Following a bitterly disappointing disengagement by David Cameron from a central role at the EU negotiation table, Nick Clegg has staged a one man protest against the UK’s isolation in Europe....

fernandomando 13.12.11 8:51am
Police replace 'Stop and Search' with 'Tap and Tickle'

Following successful trials by Northumbria Police, the rest of the UK’s police forces have agreed to replace their ‘Stop and Search’ policy with the forward thinking ‘Tap and Tickle’. The...

Perks 13.12.11 8:23am
Restless White-Van-Man found to have "settled in Transit".

more later...

dvo4fun 13.12.11 8:20am
Large Hadron Collider Finds Car Keys

It cost some $6.3 billion to build, but the Large Hadron Collider may have finally found the car keys. It was some time in the early 1990s when physicist Brian Cox , then a student and pop musician,...

Quaz 13.12.11 1:19am
Nick Clegg to start a one man "occupy Brussels" protest. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 13.12.11 1:18am
Al OPecia
David Cameron to release cover version of "I am a Rock, I am an Island". 0
Al OPecia 13.12.11 1:15am
Al OPecia
Giddy aunt was actually suffering from benign paroxysmal positional vertigo

Dr Leo Mortimer was left with nothing but a sense of guilt after performing a post-mortem on his own Aunt Ethel’s corpse. ‘She had a long history of feeling faint, falling to her knees and...

malgor 12.12.11 11:59pm
Crowds line Bucharest streets to honour repatriated Wooton Bassett flag salesmen 2
reforse 12.12.11 11:59pm
Xmas disappointment as 'Nick Clegg principles' sold out 3
Perks 12.12.11 11:57pm
Fanatical muso finally realises X Factor wasn't aimed at him

A fanatical music fan had a moment of clarity this week, when he realised that 'The X Factor' wasn't specifically made for his entertainment. Jeremy 'The Rage' Osthwaite is considered to be 'the...

12.12.11 11:51pm
Clegg's taxi finally arrives at House of Commons after 18 months

Why is he always looking at the door when Cameron is speaking at the despatch box? It's almost like he doesn't want to be there...

MT Bucket 12.12.11 11:41pm
Climate change sceptic Nigel Lawson claims Nigella not as hot as she was

hat tip to username...

medici2471 12.12.11 11:36pm
irregular apple
'Little Mix' has 'One Direction'. More soon. 0
MT Bucket 12.12.11 11:31pm
MT Bucket
BBC admits parts of Doctor Who filmed in Cardiff, not in a TARDIS. More soon. 0
MT Bucket 12.12.11 11:28pm
MT Bucket
Cameron fails to negotiate way of paper bag: SAS called in to attempt rescue. 0
MT Bucket 12.12.11 11:09pm
MT Bucket
Clegg: "I'll scweam and scweam and scweam until I'm sick" 0
MT Bucket 12.12.11 11:03pm
MT Bucket
Lib Dems break world record for lowest recorded temperature in Cabinet meeting 0
MT Bucket 12.12.11 10:59pm
MT Bucket
Clegg not in Parliament because he was "searching for his rattle". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 12.12.11 10:19pm
Al OPecia