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Higgs Boson Discovered Hiding in Compound Under Noses of CERN Physicists

US intelligence claims a raid by US Navy Seals in the early hours of the morning has found and destroyed the Higgs Boson. The particle is said to have been inches away from the particle detectors in...

0
kga6 30.09.11 6:34am
kga6
"MJ was sick" judge tells court

Proving his "street" credentials, the judge let the youths of LA know he can speak their language...

0
Gary Baldy 30.09.11 6:15am
Gary Baldy
Black box manufacturers challenged to think inside the box 0
Dumbnews 30.09.11 2:35am
Dumbnews
Conference on Insomnia finds cure, attending conferences 0
Dumbnews 30.09.11 2:32am
Dumbnews
Commuter B.O. Threat Level raised from "Severe" to "Critical".

Due to recent warm weather, the Environment Agency today raised the Body Odour warning level of a commuter from "Severe" to "Critical". Mark Beale, a 36 year old software engineer, catches the 17.56...

5
seymour totti 30.09.11 1:19pm
rikkor
Greeks wary of 'rescue plan' which involves travelling to Poland by train,

Arbeit macht frei soon...

4
MADJEZ 30.09.11 1:16pm
dvo4fun
Michael Jacksons doctor.... oh honestly who gives a fuck !

Copywriters lost their patience soon...

0
MADJEZ 29.09.11 9:15pm
MADJEZ
Nurse who couldn't find patient's cervix says she was smeared 0
roybland 29.09.11 9:07pm
roybland
Ministers to consider raising the speed of light

When the speed was first 'discovered' it was thought that nothing would even get remotely close and evidence has recently been discovered that suggests the scientists in question simply wrote down...

7
Screenie 02.10.11 12:09am
Screenie
Ferdinand loses court case to get model to kiss and tell

http://images.paraorkut.com/img/soccer/images/r/rio_ferdinand-813.jpg Rio Ferdinand today lost his high court battle to get a model who he claims to have had 'relations' with to tell all in the...

0
Perks 29.09.11 8:45pm
Perks
Fake medicine trade: Boots offer two for the price of one 0
roybland 29.09.11 8:31pm
roybland
iPhone 5 latest leaks - "slightly better than iPhone 4"

There are strong rumours that the new iPhone is going to be a little bit better than the old one. "I'm going to buy two.", said an iPhone 4 owner, "It's going to be so much better than the old one,...

0
apepper 29.09.11 8:28pm
apepper
Parents protest at Mattel's release of Action Man "Taliban Suicide Bomber"

"Pull the cord, 'Allah is Great' and Boom! and that's £8.99 gone" is the verdict of one consumer Mattel have admitted that the use of minature Semtex vests had been "over zealous" and will in...

7
brownpaperreporter 29.09.11 10:07pm
Screenie
New Saudi Travel Lodge "a disgrace"

Budget hotel chain Travel Lodge's new venture in Saudi Arabia - Riyadh West - was given a one-star rating only yesterday on travellers' website Trip Advisor. Guests Ron and Noreen Francis from...

0
Drylaw 29.09.11 7:52pm
Drylaw
'Micro' 9/11 planner foiled by CIA

A 26-year-old US citizen who was plotting to fly bomb laden remote controlled planes into the White House has been taken into custody to give the US law enforcement agency an opportunity to point at...

4
Screenie 30.09.11 10:01pm
Screenie
Bill Oddie to Present New BBC Documentary 'Jeeps on Peaks'

A new one-off documentary on BBC 1 this week looks to document the plight of the endangered Mountain Jeep, native only to Snowdonia, Wales. The program sees Oddie camp on Snowdon for a week in a bid...

0
kga6 29.09.11 5:42pm
kga6
4x4 spotted on Snowdon again - Richard Attenborough investigates

Spotted 4x4's extremely rare...

0
witless 29.09.11 5:34pm
witless
French food experts discover you really can taste cruelty - 2

Biologists in France claim they have discovered a sixth flavour that can be tasted by humans. Almost 25 years after the discovery of 'umami' (the flavour of 'pleasant savoriness'), experts now claim...

34
07.10.11 7:59am
writinginbsl
Enquiry launched to find scapegoat for blam culture 5
Mr_Johno 30.09.11 10:31pm
Screenie
Rift off for wocket men

To the collective sound of 1,339,724,852 "ooh's" and "aah's", China belatedly joined the space race today as their first space lab was launched from a two hundred foot milk bottle at the bottom of...

0
spoole2112 29.09.11 4:29pm
spoole2112
Nicorette addiction now major health concern 0
Steve Wilson 29.09.11 4:19pm
Steve Wilson
No ‘Ed bias’ in Labour Party, Miliband and Balls tell Izzard

Leader Ed Miliband has moved swiftly to squash rumours of an unfair bias in the Labour Party towards people called Ed or Eddie. ‘It’s simply not true,’ he assured comedian Eddie Izzard. ‘Ask...

1
Clarky 30.09.11 11:46am
Clarky
"TEVEZ REFUSED TO WORK FOR ME TOO" - FACTORY OWNER EXPLAINS.

WITH his £250,000 per week salary topping up his bank account and his petted lip topping up the hatred for him, it seems that Manchester City striker, Carlos Tevez is no stranger to the churlish...

0
delightfullyodd 29.09.11 3:49pm
delightfullyodd
Escort agency owner delighted with Ford Escort

“I really do love the 1994 Ford Escort hatchback we’ve just acquired. As a straightforward prostitute-mover, it really has everything,” says Marion Jenkins of South Yorkshire. “We have...

0
nickb 29.09.11 2:55pm
nickb
Judge in Conrad Murray case rejects ‘Come on, I’m bad’ as legitimate defence 1
Qoxiivi 29.09.11 3:00pm
beau-jolly
Freudian slips by Golden Showers Lingerie, on sale at Eboy for 99 pee

by now price...

0
witless 29.09.11 1:54pm
witless
Intel announces plans to have already released new Intel Neutrino processor

More soon You know, like the centrino but ahfuckitwhat'sthepoint...

7
Qoxiivi 29.09.11 2:21pm
Screenie
'Fried egg' star found near Milky way, but you can only look at it between meals 0
Ian Searle 29.09.11 1:46pm
Ian Searle
Free transfer for nursery nurse fed up with returning footballer's toys to pram

More later...

0
spoole2112 29.09.11 1:27pm
spoole2112
Deep sea diving lawyer claimed to have a water tight case.

More later...

4
spoole2112 29.09.11 3:33pm
spoole2112