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Sinnick 24.02.13 8:47am
Donor Kebab Shop Owner Gives Up Selling Sheek

Life has been hard for Mr Popadopalous, a chubby yet cheeky grinned olive skinned man that you'd only allow behind a counter before asking your wife if she'd like a large one., It's a straight...

Tess Goes 24.02.13 8:34am
Tess Goes
Syria: key questions

A journalist (me) got given special access to the Syrian president, Assad, the Syrian President [must check this]. In his palace, where'd I'd gone, I saw him, and went over to him. He was drinking...

Mik Bulk 24.02.13 5:51am
New BBC drama stars maverick investigator with a secret - The Red Action Files

After stealing the show in the long running Jimmy Savile drama, Red Action is to get his own series. The Red Action Files investigates a series of sordid stories of corruption in Britain's uniquely...

ronseal 24.02.13 3:00am
Osborne in intensive negotiations with 5
shaggy 24.02.13 12:46am
Audible Minority
George Osborne downgraded from Chancellor to Chancer 0
Hooch 24.02.13 12:45am
Dalek designer EXTERMINATED!

Bang! Bet no-one saw that angle coming. Fucking incredible stuff Truebiscuit, you deserve a nice, lazy wank for that effort. Piss funny, because 'exterminate' is what the Daleks said, and the bloke...

Truebiscuit 24.02.13 12:35am
Dalek Designer Funeral chaos as house only accessible by stairs. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 24.02.13 12:07am
Al OPecia
Search continues for the Southwark 12

The search continues today for the 12 men and women who have been missing since the end of the Vicky Pryce trial on Wednesday. The 12, led by one they called “Chair”, were last positively...

shaggy 23.02.13 11:37pm
Lens Cap
Judge in Pistorius trial admits to being U-Boat captain and wanking in a sock

This is complete bollocks, but it might be accidentally brilliant. Probably is, because I wrote it and I'm fucking hilarious...

Truebiscuit 23.02.13 11:21pm
Audible Minority
Liverpool keeps AAA rating, urges investors to calm down

Fucking genius. Brilliantly piss funny. Fuck me, the gold keeps pouring...

Truebiscuit 23.02.13 11:07pm
Audible Minority
Mandy Rice Davies not called as witness in Vicky Pryce retrial

Jurors expected to draw their own reasonable conclusions...

Audible Minority 23.02.13 10:04pm
Audible Minority
"We'd be in One Direction if it wasn't for crime" say grateful criminals

Criminals claim they would be living a life of meaningless manufactured pop-stardom if they had not had the benefit of vicious underlass street life, it emerged today. Speaking from the stairwell of...

23.02.13 9:54pm
Paddy Berzinski
Hundreds of people 'who never knew Nick Clegg' may attend his career funeral

A local Vicar hopes a Facebook appeal, for anyone who doesn't know Nick Clegg to attend his imminent political funeral, will prompt a large turnout. Rev. Bob Mason of Eastleigh posted his plea...

dvo4fun 23.02.13 9:19pm
Liverpool credit rating downgraded to AA CalmDownCalmDown 0
23.02.13 9:09pm
Duracell battery rating now higher than UK economy 2
custard cream 23.02.13 9:07pm
Pistorius: Prosecution protest bailing Olympic sprinter: risk of doing a runner

blade running...

Alfred Noakes 23.02.13 8:36pm
Alfred Noakes
Pistorius getaway attempt foiled by cattle grid - 2 58
rickwestwell 23.02.13 5:49pm
Top journalism award for journalist

A Liverpool hairdresser has been given a real boost thanks to an initiative by her local authority. Liverpool City Council has awarded Clare Squim a £3.5 billion grant to develop her business,...

Mik Bulk 23.02.13 5:33pm
Brit Athletes Up In Arms Re Loss Of Triple A Rating.......

"It's back to wearing pumps and running on cinder tracks again," said one runner...

Jesse Bigg 23.02.13 5:25pm
Jesse Bigg
Pistorius demands trial by kangaroo court 0
cinquecento 23.02.13 5:25pm
"Jury Trial" to be Paralympic sport for learning disabled 2
sydalg 23.02.13 4:27pm
Now is the time to plant Roobarb animator 1
Squudge 23.02.13 4:12pm
Pierced-Nipple Attacks Labour

‘Top UK journalist’ Andrew Pierced-Nipple today attacked Eastleigh by-election Labour candidate John O’Farrell by calling him names in a well-known newspaper. Mr O’Farrell laughed off the...

Reg Herring 23.02.13 3:44pm
Reg Herring
... and the Oscar Award for over-acting in a Court of Law goes to ... 0
Sinnick 23.02.13 3:35pm
Osborne off to Bulgaria - he's heard there is money down the back of Sofia

.. was wasted on the chat room audience...

shaggy 23.02.13 3:27pm
Lens Cap
Cameron apologises to all blacks for English massacre

England Prime Minister David Cameron, 45, continued his humble tour of the commonwealth today with a sincere apology to all blacks for the massacre by the English, which took place at Twickenham on 1...

shaggy 23.02.13 3:20pm
Local cake for robot

'Taking the cake' never meant so much - that is what a robot might be saying. But that's absolutely right. A Sheffield-based robot used by the police to check bombs has now done the same for cakes -...

Mik Bulk 23.02.13 2:57pm
Cameron switches entire Defence Budget to Overseas Aid

Britain’s defence ministry is to be wound up, with all funds diverted to the foreign aid budget, 'to ensure stability in underdeveloped countries', the Prime Minister announced today. The move...

pinxit 23.02.13 1:59pm
Miss Adventure claims never to have killed anybody

Those coroners have just got it infamy...

shaggy 23.02.13 1:17pm