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Indian rupee now worth less than a sheet of Andrex.

More uses soon...

0
MADJEZ 20.08.13 10:48am
MADJEZ
Dick Van Dyke: "Oi'm luckee to be aloive"

More to follow...

3
apepper 20.08.13 10:43am
Al OPecia
Dick Van Dyke's car goes up the chim-chim-in-ey. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 20.08.13 10:42am
Al OPecia
EU court rules 'United Kingdom' name is illegal

In a shock ruling today, the EU ruled that the countries formerly known as the United Kingdom must cease using that name forthwith, as it is not an accurate description. In their ruling, the German...

4
John Wiltshire 20.08.13 10:31am
Al OPecia
Japan prepares for a glut of new superheroes after radioactive leak. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 20.08.13 10:16am
dominic_mcg
Man who claimed for pee-pee-eye told to wash his hands in future.

More soon., Going senile I thought I'd done this one ages ago, or stolen it or both...

0
MADJEZ 20.08.13 9:58am
MADJEZ
Male bosses work twice as hard as female bosses

Its official...

0
Rootin Tootin 20.08.13 9:55am
Rootin Tootin
Cameron: I can’t go stalking women because of “phenomenally bad back”

David Cameron admitted that his days of stalking women were probably behind him because of his “phenomenally bad back”. “I suffered a protruding disc while clambering up Brooks” said Cameron...

0
Yikes 20.08.13 9:42am
Yikes
Police Free Multiple Child Abuser After Finding He Was Not A Celebrity 0
Titus 20.08.13 8:54am
Titus
Kraft's chocolate joke 'best ever'

Kraft's chocolate joke was voted 'best ever' by a jury of top businessmen. 'It was great!' said the head of the jury, Dexter P Mandrake III, CEO of Conglomorated Money, Houston, Texas. 'When Kraft...

0
John Wiltshire 20.08.13 8:42am
John Wiltshire
Man posing as Head of BBC Comedy wins record number of blow jobs at Fringe 6
ronseal 20.08.13 8:14am
ronseal
Miranda detention legally sound, anything to shut her up! 0
topfotogmw 20.08.13 7:53am
topfotogmw
Distributor of new Princess Diana film killed in tunnel car crash

White Fiat Uno seen speeding away...

0
John Wiltshire 20.08.13 7:48am
John Wiltshire
Seats are clean in ladies' room

Now wash your hands...

0
Arthur 20.08.13 7:46am
Arthur
John Terry "It was not cunny lingus, I was just cleaning ladies"

Neat-o or so...

0
Scronnyglonkle 20.08.13 7:41am
Scronnyglonkle
We Reveal: JFK 'Assassination' Myth Just Cover-Up for Drunken Car Accident 0
Titus 20.08.13 7:31am
Titus
Heathrow security read Miranda rights to passengers 0
Scronnyglonkle 20.08.13 7:08am
Scronnyglonkle
Pessimistic teacher at failing comprehensive always sees the class half empty 3
blacklesbianandproudofit 20.08.13 7:06am
Titus
Police on the alert for MP with principles

Notorious 'tree-hugger' and 'peddler of ethics', Caroline Lucas, has been spotted in the West Sussex area. Law enforcement officials have warned members of the public to avoid contact with her: 'The...

1
Wrenfoe 20.08.13 7:05am
Titus
Tesco launches new "one for the price of two" strawberry promotion. 1
Maverick 20.08.13 7:01am
Titus
Miranda Arrest Protest - 'Her TV Show Wasn't THAT Bad' 0
Titus 20.08.13 6:49am
Titus
Ooh la la! Royal Shocker:

British Security Forces have revealed that even a dead sober driver could be distracted by an energetic performance of the Cairo Cobra in the rear seat...

1
rikkor 20.08.13 6:40am
Arthur
Miliband blames north-south cancer disparity on excessive egg consumption

Egg peltee Ed Miliband has launched a scathing, unprovoked attack on both eggs and northerners in the wake of reports of a stark north-south divide in cancer rates. Rather than use Cancer Research...

0
ChairmanMouth 20.08.13 1:26am
ChairmanMouth
Earliest voice recording find ‘70,000 years old’.

Norfolk farming man Norman Fairchild discovered a groovy, disk-shaped object in a field of potatoes. ‘Took eye, dug up,’ he grunted. When examination by a group of audiophiles, sound engineers...

1
malgor 20.08.13 12:57am
rikkor
No further uncertainty about Schrödinger's cat - last seen near Findus factory 1
sydalg 19.08.13 9:38pm
Titus
"The Press Are Ignoring Me" Says Somebody-Or-Other From The Labour Party 0
Titus 19.08.13 9:35pm
Titus
Mugabe invited to join Man City board

Torturing tyrant Sheik Mansour, owner of Manchester City, has offered disgraced Zimbabwean dictator Mugabe a place on the board. "It's such a shame Pol Pot and Saddam Hussein are dead as we would...

0
19.08.13 9:32pm
Granny's drawers loosened by rubbing a candle on the runners

It's an old trick...

6
Arthur 19.08.13 9:07pm
rikkor
Guardian journalist held for “wearing wrong colour shirt”

A journalist been held at Heathrow by the Guardian Style Editor for wearing a shirt “in a colour associated with last season’s menswear”. He was questioned for eight hours, the maximum...

2
CulchaVulcha 19.08.13 8:45pm
nickb
Welsh crossdresser hides dirty erycrock down below 0
Robopop 19.08.13 5:46pm
Robopop