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Football news: Ba? Humbug! 1
sigmund 04.01.13 2:00pm
Argentina rejects British ad demanding return of Isle of Wight

Argentinian president Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner has categorically refused to negotiate over the sovereignty of the Isle of Wight, despite the provocative behaviour of Britan's right-wing...

Oxbridge 04.01.13 12:53pm
Depardieu denies that bid for Martian citizenship is just a tax dodge

"I have always thought that Mars is a great democracy" said the actor who is also said to be glad that pissing in a bottle on flights to the planet is likely to be standard procedure...

gregle 04.01.13 11:49am
Health Minister slams Leeds General Infirmary after NHS funded hand-job

Savile-free version for coeliacs...

dvo4fun 04.01.13 10:54am
Child custody disputes to be settled via national newspaper adverts 0
charlies_hat 04.01.13 10:48am
Indonesia accused of sexism, no ban on men being straddled by bikes 0
medici2471 04.01.13 10:44am
Pippa Middleton’s arse "going solo"...

After the embarrassing sales of her book, [i]Celebrate[/i] - which recommended turkey “for large family gatherings”, and kitchen cupboards as “useful for keeping things in” - Pippa Middleton...

Tripod 04.01.13 10:21am
New parasol inventor put's everyone else in the shade 2
Ian Searle 04.01.13 10:07am
Newspaper columnist laments public's inability to spell yoyo correctly Y-O-Y-O-Y 0
Ian Searle 04.01.13 9:44am
Ian Searle
Mr Kipling arrested after raid on office uncovers Pie Dough File

Acting on the advice of Jon Gaunt, the police federation (the showbiz wing of the Association of Chief Police officers) have released information that could find Mr Kipling convicted in the court of...

ronseal 04.01.13 8:30am
2013 Big Brother contestants "wettest since records began"

More to follow...

apepper 04.01.13 8:30am
As if Savile wasn't enough, now Leeds General Infirmary pays for hand-job on NHS 1
dvo4fun 04.01.13 8:29am
Daily Mail leaks results of London Zoo Census - it's full of immigrants!!!

All living off the British public and refusing to learn our language!...

Ian Searle 04.01.13 8:26am
Ian Searle
Hand surgeon makes basic error

"It was on my right, not HIS right"."next time"...

brd888 04.01.13 8:22am
Hundreds of women in the UK have had a nose job, only one man has had a hand job 0
Ian Searle 04.01.13 6:50am
Ian Searle
2013 already poised to go and fuck itself

Even before it actually began, the year 2013 has been preparing to accede to the wishes of the vast majority of Britain's 60 million hacked off inhabitants. With nothing remotely good at all likely...

Oxbridge 04.01.13 6:34am
No No Feckin No
An appeal poem, on behalf of the biscuit party

Since signing up to NewsBiscuit,, I've noticed hostility,, Shown towards some biscuit types,, Like Custard Cream and me. We're not always that funny,, But let's be honest Chums,, It's fucking...

Bourbon 04.01.13 1:11am
Savile Row tailors launch new clothing range for those living on Savile Row.

danster 04.01.13 12:00am
Possible prison sentence sees Davidson practicing a trick shot to pot the brown

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Cos he did a snooker show. I remember it. 5stars...

Bourbon 03.01.13 10:28pm
Dawsons creek
"I want to report a crime" tops list of most ridiculous 999 calls to police 2
ronseal 03.01.13 9:06pm
ronseal Minister Urges Joint Funding for Libraries

As authorities in Amsterdam seek to close them down, Local Government Minister Eric Pickles has advised Councils to lease space in local libraries to coffee shops. Pickles says the initiative –...

squibby 03.01.13 9:03pm
More realistic computer games to be launched in 2013...

The latest crop of video games will replicate real life challenges, says Brent Myerson, CEO of Avanti Games, based in Cambridge. “For too long the rationale of video games has been to kill other...

Tripod 03.01.13 7:55pm
Dick Everyman
Jim Davidson appearing on Crown Court instead of Celebrity Big Brother 1
custard cream 03.01.13 7:34pm
Dawsons creek
Fixie bike riders to be pre-nominated for Darwin Awards

Just to save time really...

danster 03.01.13 6:33pm
Showbiz world shocked at Toby Anstis 'straight' rumours. 0
MADJEZ 03.01.13 5:51pm
Jim Davidson accusers finally get their Big Break

More game show related news later...

victimms 03.01.13 5:15pm
Time the Indian authorities took the problem seriously 4
nostra da mouse 03.01.13 1:49pm
Think-tank suggests pay-cut for fat MPs

Especially thase who both do nothing and do nothing to aid weight-loss...

hero2zero 03.01.13 1:35pm
Sky divers celebrate the opening of a new drop in center 1
Ian Searle 03.01.13 1:32pm
Anarchist astrologer predicts a riot. 0
Ian Searle 03.01.13 1:21pm
Ian Searle