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Pope promises retirement party will be "biggest bash since the Borgias". 0
sydalg 27.02.13 1:08pm
Conversation dries up through lack of rain

The absence of rainfall over the past few days is having serious consequences for people who have come to rely on the frequency of rain as their primary or only talking point. Men's hairdressers are...

roybland 27.02.13 12:50pm
The Pope Plans To Spend Retirement On Allotment

In an emotional farewell before thousands of Roman Catholics at St Peter's Square in The Vatican, Pope Benedict XVI told the faithful that after his retirement from the Papacy he intends to live out...

Jonny Shlep 27.02.13 12:37pm
Jonny Shlep
Benedict evicted from The Big Fathers House

In a speech to waiting fans, Benedict bellowed the gig had been a blast, and regretted nothing, not even the wearing of Dorothy's shoes...

Erlang 27.02.13 12:34pm
Dignitas charter Titanic II for maiden voyage 0
antharrison 27.02.13 11:55am
Sarah Jessica Parker tests positive for horse

Only days after Sir Ian McKellen was found to contain traces of goat, the world of stage and screen has been shocked again by the news that ‘Sex and the City’ star Sarah Jessica Parker has been...

Stan 27.02.13 11:36am
John O'Farrell is only three miles away

But has he been out canvassing in your area..?...

Scroat 27.02.13 11:31am
Pope confirms 'One man and his dog' appearance to test his shepherding skills 0
Not Amused 27.02.13 11:29am
Not Amused
'Who'll put up the bunting' asks town

A town is wondering who'll put up the town's bunting, since the one whose job it is has become ill. Rowcob in Cheshire has enjoyed the bunting services of council employee Ted Greeth for many years....

Mik Bulk 27.02.13 10:25am
PETA furious at destruction of Papal Seal 0
MikeF 27.02.13 9:42am
Tony Blair not yet ready to buy a house in Iraq

Ex-Prime Minister Tony Blair says he is not yet ready to buy a house in Iraq. 'Life in Iraq is not what I hoped it would be when I invaded the place 10 years ago,' he told BBC Newsnight. ' I...

roybland 27.02.13 9:16am
'White is new black' fashion designer dies in tragic snow plough accident 0
shaggy 27.02.13 8:19am
All supermarkets to to be fitted with CSI-style DNA labs 0
sydalg 27.02.13 2:19am
"Well, just look at me! Do I look like some sweaty pervert?" says [insert name] 4
dvo4fun 27.02.13 1:46am
Psycadelic Squirrel
FDA Approves drug that helps you forget you have no sex life 0
Dumbnews 27.02.13 12:44am
Ryan Air to sell petrol at 20p a litre* ** (BYOP)

[size=3]Michael O'Leary, Ryan Air Chief Executive announced today that the low budget airline is move into the petrol retailing business with the purchase of several thousand outlets from troubled...

shaggy 26.02.13 10:40pm
Oscar Pistorius Trial Perfect Replacement For Law & Order

Fans, who had searched in vain for something to satisfy their crime lust after the New York Police and District Attorney fought their last case in 2010, now believe they have found a worthy successor...

Hooch 26.02.13 10:11pm
Hope fades for the ‘forgotten man’ of comedy politics...

John O’Farrell continues to pound the streets, in full clown costume and the big shoes, hoping to raise a smile - or at least avoid being punched - at every house in Eastleigh. Campaigning in a...

Tripod 26.02.13 9:30pm
Holy Trinity admits: we screwed up

Following several years of allegations and rumours in the Christian Times and Jewish Chronicle, God and his two assistants have finally admitted that they have got it wrong. This follows recent...

Sinnick 26.02.13 9:19pm
'72 is the new 30' say people who have a birthday every 2.4 years 0
roybland 26.02.13 9:06pm
New food scandal - Rennard found in lady Liberal Democrat activists

Traces of Rennard have been found in several lady Liberal Democrat activists it was revealed today., General Manager Nick Clegg said that the discovery had played havoc with the party's Eastleigh...

geokay 26.02.13 8:57pm
Pippa Middleton signs to Waitrose, home delivery get a little behind with orders 0
Ian Searle 26.02.13 8:57pm
Ian Searle
Politician grateful to be mistaken for comedian

Tory bi-election candidate Maria Hutchings has credited comedians like John O'Farrell and Beppe Grillo for the confusion in voters' minds as to who is running for election and who is doing a standup...

sydalg 26.02.13 8:51pm
Lib Dems "we were just groping about in the dark for policy ideas"

Hat tip Dick Everyman...

sillybugger 26.02.13 8:49pm
Sir Ranulph Fiennes pulls out of Antarctic trek due to “public apathy”...

Sir Ranulph Fiennes - ‘Ran’ to his friends - has pulled out of his latest yawn-inducing adventure due to the fact that the public really couldn’t give a flying fuck whether he reaches the South...

Tripod 26.02.13 8:48pm
Frostbite claims final piece of Sir Ranulph Fiennes

The last piece of Sir Ranulph Fiennes has fallen off due to extreme frostbite. The 68 year old Victorian throwback had been attempting to cross the frozen aisle in Aldi when his last remaining...

wallster 26.02.13 8:35pm
Self-cleaning glass ceiling leaves bosses speechless

A new self-cleaning glass ceiling has left male corporate bosses in a major London business nonplussed 'When I've complained that there's a glass ceiling blocking my advancement in the company,'...

roybland 26.02.13 8:14pm
Briscoe Arrested - Confused Pryce Jury Ask: "Er, Which Woman Are We Trying?" 0
Titus 26.02.13 7:15pm
Woman Lib Dem Condidiate Sues For Discrimiation After She Is Not Groped. 0
Titus 26.02.13 7:06pm
Indirect, non-specific sheep turns out to be horse - Clegg complicit 6
Squudge 26.02.13 4:59pm