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Wedding breaks out at Alex Reid's latest fight. 2
Ian Searle 3 years
Man admits joining 'Relationship site' just to get a shag. 5
MADJEZ 3 years

Female members of the eHormoney computer dating site were shocked by the revelation that unscrupulous males are giving inaccurate answers in order to obtain sex with lonely gullible women. One man...

Teaching standards "Not as good as what they should be" says report 10
rickwestwell 3 years

A report commissioned to examine the standard of teaching in Britain's schools has reached the scathing conclusion that "teachers are not as good as what they should be", and that "much more must,...

World Cup made from cocaine seized by Maradona 0
Ludicity 3 years
Dorset Police looking for Cerne Abbas Giant 0
edward hack 3 years

Dorset police are today investigating the theft of a large white chalk figure from a hillside near the market town of Dorchester., The figure, known locally as The Rude Giant disappeared from its...

Thousands of wind-up torches recalled.. 0
MrChigleysAunt 3 years

..for occasionally flashing "I'm a bit of a comedian me" in morse code...

Jacko's family say they still 'feel' him, kids say "Now he knows what it's 1
Ian Searle 3 years
Cameron admits Civil Service were anything but when told of budget cuts 0
sauce 3 years
Shock Poll Result at Manchester Branch of Atheists UK 2
Jesse Bigg 3 years

'There is a God, but only in the Red half of Manchester.'...

Terry Wogan fumes in daily mail interview ,if the "stars" at the BBC don`t take 0
arrghgarry 3 years

a pay cut how will they be able to afford my daily 10000 pounds fee for children in need gig...

Wife burns tea 4
Gary Stanton 3 years

John and Sophie Davis, a couple from Macclesfield, agreed to a trial separation last night after a kitchen disaster which saw Sophie needlessly burn John’s tea to a crisp. John’s high-powered...

George Bush Jr. realises that having a catchy title like Vagina Monolouges 5
arrghgarry 3 years

could be the one to announce his one man speech show thingymejig...

Autocue fault Causes Offence At Country Music Awards 4
Svendo 3 years

As Kenny Rogers is about to be presented with Biggest Country Star award...

“Below Average Driver” barred from local pub. 0
BillyBitzer 3 years

Keith Pawson lives in an idyllic English village, with an idyllic village pub only 200 yards of his house - but Keith can’t drink there any more, because he admits to “not being very good at...

Comedy Rule Changes Promise Massive Savings 4
BillyBitzer 3 years

Culture Minister Ed Vaizey announced today that his department was to be in the vanguard of Tory action to cut red tape and bureaucracy, saving the country the £60Bn needed to restore the financial...

Police Targets 0
one against the world 3 years

The Home Office today anounced that the targets set for the police will be made to look like G20 protesters,this it is hoped will make them easier to hit...

Hyperbole all used up, says public relations firm. 0
Hunter F. Thompson 3 years

"Adjectives are just not up to making that precious quantum leap anymore," says Martin Goosefinger, of Goosefinger, Bollouques LLP, thoughtfully stroking his chin. "Kids invent new slang to replace...

Hyperbole usage up a million billion percent, say experts 1
rickwestwell 3 years
Maradona gutted as World cup found to be made of cocaine..... 1
Mr.3374 3 years

Police appeal to gunman 3
Mr.3374 3 years

" Stop f'ckin shootin us."...

Young re-offenders to get bottle banked. 0
Reggie Bumstead 3 years

A new government initiative moves a step closer today after ministers gave the go ahead to put repeat offenders inside local bottle banks. A spokesman for the government said “it’s a great...

General, Shags Dogs( 4,10*) 0
afternoonslow 3 years

Ex-Army chief General Sir Richard Tory Dog-Shagger Dannatt to become Tory defence adviser General Sir Richard Tory Dog-Shagger Dannatt: profile; General Sir Richard Tory Dog-Shagger Dannatt is a...

Police to Appeal to crazed Gunman's Reason 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years

Police are trying a new tactic and appealing to a crazed gunman who has left a trail of murder and mayhem to stop. 'We think we will win the day by appealing to his reason and common sense', said a...

Are World Cups getting easier, asks the Daily Wail 0
StoopyDeGunt 3 years
Public Response to Ryanair ‘Noose-Class’ is lukewarm 4
ArseBiscuit 3 years

Ryanair’s planned introduction of vertical seating has failed to capture the public’s imagination after it has been revealed that the bargain tickets involve passengers swinging from nooses...

Shock as Hobbiton is named crime capital of Middle Earth. 5
wallster 3 years

To most people, the sleepy Shire village of Hobbiton would not seem a very likely candidate to win the title of 'Worst place to live'. However, behind the quaint, rustic exterior lies a vice ridden...

Former British army officer acquitted of bribery charge 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years

Sir Harry Paget Flashman VC KCB KCIE, while remaining by his unapologetic self-description "a scoundrel, a liar, a cheat, a thief, a coward and oh yes, a toady" was today released from custody from...

Hip-Hop Syndicate Buy Out Chain Of Garden Centres 0
Svendo 3 years

A corporation of leading Hip-Hop rappers and producers has made a move to buy out garden centre chain, Dobbies. At a press conference spokesman Fifty-Cent commented "We had all been sitting round in...

Breaking news: fucked up man, fucked up woman get married, have perfect children 0
la maga 3 years
New study: grey squirrels “a bit racist” but still “pretty cool” 0
dogwheels 3 years

A TEAM of scientists have sensationally claimed that grey squirrels are not as bad as it may have previously been thought. The group of animal boffins, from Some University, spent two weeks hanging...