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Chancellor to stop tax dodgers and reintroduce 10p tax rate.

With the highly anticipated Budget due this week, Downing Street has been leaking like a BP pipeline in the Gulf of Mexico. In a copy of his speech seen by the press, the Chancellor is planning...

0
Perks 18.03.12 9:29pm
Perks
London 2012: Assisted Suicide law suspension bid for Olympics

Following the announcement of the suspension of the Sunday Trading laws by the Chancellor George Osborne, Home Secretary Theresa May is set to announce the suspension of the assisted suicide laws. ...

1
MotoPopps 18.03.12 8:47pm
weematt
Police award Belfast man "Best Reply After Caution" prize

An improvised remark made by an unemployed Belfast plasterer following his arrest for dangerous driving has won the coveted "Best Reply After Caution" prize at the National Police Awards in...

2
jamsieoconnor 18.03.12 7:27pm
Psycadelic Squirrel
Stranded potholers had no back up plan.

inspired by ronseal...

3
weematt 18.03.12 7:20pm
charlies_hat
Osbourne

Osbourne told: "Plan to make everyone hate Tories has worked. you can stop now"...

0
spa99ers 18.03.12 7:05pm
spa99ers
Osborne asks mates for joke ideas for his Budget speech

"Making the budget speech can be a real downer for the whole nation" said George Osborne. The Chancellor returned from his trip to the US to deliver his annual budget speech but has been asking...

0
paddyparkinson 18.03.12 6:30pm
paddyparkinson
"Go Compare" opera singer revealed to be Rafael Benitez 0
paddyparkinson 18.03.12 6:18pm
paddyparkinson
Pessimistic teacher sacked because his class was always half full. 0
Ian Searle 18.03.12 5:26pm
Ian Searle
Restaurants introduce Hors d'oeuvres tracking.

This will let you know when they will be delivered. If you are not at your table when they arrive they can be left in a safe place, on a neighbouring table, or will be returned to the kitchen and...

0
Ian Searle 18.03.12 5:15pm
Ian Searle
"Twenty's plenty" says Schumacher after F1 failure.

More next wek ...

0
JustSomeBloke 18.03.12 5:14pm
JustSomeBloke
Homeless may be used as street lighting

Homeless people may be used as street lighting under new government plans to be announced by George Osborne in Wednesday's Budget. The proposal follows the recent use of homeless people as roving...

3
roybland 18.03.12 4:17pm
writinginbsl
Hundreds of injury lawyers injured at work

in stampede to join Bolton Wanderers supporters club...

0
yussle 18.03.12 4:16pm
yussle
IOW fire crew under fire, even slower than usual

Isle of Wight residents were more upset than normal when they learned that it took local volunteer fire officers over two hours to attend a fire at the Ryde Castle Hotel, Isle of Wight. Normally most...

0
weematt 18.03.12 2:04pm
weematt
Police work on theory no one broke into Millibands office, but he broke out.

The public are warned he may be dangerous...

0
Ian Searle 18.03.12 1:31pm
Ian Searle
Return to traditional values as kids to be told if their best "not good enough" 0
quango 18.03.12 12:18pm
quango
Panic grows as it is revealed that Earth's atmosphere is "over 78% nitrogen" 0
Nick McCarr 18.03.12 11:44am
Nick McCarr
Wife divorces barista who took his work home

A Cafe Nero barista who took his work too seriously is facing divorce. 'As soon as Joe arrived home from the coffee shop, he started,' his wife Jane said, 'banging the milk jug on the table,...

1
roybland 18.03.12 11:11am
Drylaw
Authorities turn to Drogba for advice about onfield strokes 0
Drylaw 18.03.12 11:07am
Drylaw
I was Peter Tatchell’s secret lover, claims woman.

‘Peter and I had a full and loving relationship’ says Anna Carter, 48, talking for the first time of their when her 22 year relationship with pocket firebrand Peter Tatchell. ‘It was an open...

0
Mrs Olly Murs 18.03.12 10:09am
Mrs Olly Murs
CoE to offer headquarters franchise in cost cutting move

Following the resignation of the Archbishop of Canterbury the Church of England is to use the franchising business model to decide where its headquarters is located. The CoE is thought to favour the...

0
weematt 18.03.12 9:01am
weematt
Glimmer Of Hope After Germanys Earless Rabbit's Untimely death

The death of Til The Earless Rabbit stunned a nation, gasps of horror could be heard from the Reichstag to the Danube as the unfortunate photographer wiped the unsightly step kill from his shoe. But...

0
anhodika 18.03.12 12:10am
anhodika
Tofu rump steaks launched under brand name 'I Can't Believe It's Not Buttocks!' 2
Haywood Manley 17.03.12 7:46pm
JETFAB
TUC rejoice as public linked to private sector pay "Bring on the bonuses!"

more later...

1
dvo4fun 17.03.12 6:29pm
Perks
MPs in poorer parts of UK to be paid less.

George Osborne will announce plans to pay lower salaries to Members of Parliament in poorer parts of the country in his budget next week. The chancellor will argue that MPs pay should mimic the...

2
Ian 17.03.12 5:28pm
virtuallywill
Cameron Gone 'A Wall' Again - Version 2 - 2

This time to the US., "When will the skiver ever put in a full shift?", mutter muggins ministers...

32
Jesse Bigg 17.03.12 5:10pm
dvo4fun
Unpaid jobseekers to debut for Pompey - or risk losing benefits

Crisis-hit football club Portsmouth FC today announced that it would be handing Championship debuts to four new players this Saturday, recruited to complete unpaid work experience under the...

6
grumblechops 17.03.12 5:09pm
dvo4fun
Spanish farmer finds image of Wayne Rooney on sack of potatoes. 1
Lemon difficult 17.03.12 1:25pm
Al OPecia
Saint Patrick arrested in clerical sex abuse probe

Prominent national saint and self appointed first bishop of Ireland, Saint Patrick, is believed to be in police custody this evening after police swooped on a large parade in Dublin city centre this...

0
jamsieoconnor 17.03.12 12:22pm
jamsieoconnor
Lack or true grit in the workplace causes public sector pay freeze 0
charlies_hat 17.03.12 12:15pm
charlies_hat
Public sector workers to have equal pay with the unemployed

The Chancellor of the Exchequer is expected to announce plans to try and equalize the pay in the public and unemployed sectors. "Treasury research has found that public sector workers has a pay...

0
apepper 17.03.12 12:08pm
apepper