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My handshake scares all the boys down The Yard, claims Terry 0
Screenie 27.04.12 9:38am
London mayoral elections to be decided by candidates running Olympic marathon 0
simonjmr 27.04.12 9:30am
Cameron defends award of UK nuclear contract to Iranian/North Korean consortium

David Cameron has again come under fire over a perceived lack of judgement today, after a contract to run the UK’s nuclear power programme was awarded to a consortium from Iran and North Korea....

Vertically Challenged Giant 27.04.12 8:54am
Salmon of Knowledge
Premier League praises Ferdinand and Terry’s support of handshake resolution

Further controversy has been averted with the news that Anton Ferdinand and John Terry fully agree with the Premier League’s decision to suspend the team handshake between QPR and Chelsea this...

Yikes 27.04.12 8:53am
Liberals to use age progression software to take Nick Clegg back 2 years 1
Screenie 27.04.12 8:26am
Queen regrets Government conduct. 'We are sorry'

Finally fed up with all the criticism of the Government and the man she asked to form it the Queen issued a statement from Buckingham Palace late last night. The statement reads:, 'We are not amused...

weematt 27.04.12 8:07am
Stoke is latest London borough says Boundary Commision.

Residents of the North Midlands Pottery town awoke today to find themselves part of Greater London, as a result of the latest boundary commission changes. The new borough will be known as North North...

Boutros 27.04.12 7:12am
Paralympics to be followed by short Oompa-loompics

(no high jump) Charlies hat tip to Cinq...

charlies_hat 27.04.12 6:59am
Sir David Jason to release album of Queenschryche B-Sides in aid of Sport Relief

Sport Relief bosses have today unveiled plans to record a number of charity albums recorded by well loved celebrity personas from stage and screen. The albums will be produced by Brian Eno in an...

deadstarter 27.04.12 5:46am
Duggan shooting witness named as Abraham Zapruder Jnr 0
charlies_hat 26.04.12 8:32pm
London City Council Highway Department blunder makes Cleo Laine one way

A hideous mistake by a London City highways officer has left the department for transport red faced after he made Dame Cleo Laine One Way. The blunder came as part of widespread traffic calming...

deadstarter 26.04.12 7:00pm
Hosepipe regulators swamped by irony. 0
Maverick 26.04.12 6:20pm
Suspended Terry 'can urinate in trophy during rampage if Chelsea win' UEFA agree 1
Mandy Lifeboat 26.04.12 5:55pm
Sex tape is very tacky, says expert. More soon.

and useless for wrapping gifts...

dominic_mcg 26.04.12 5:07pm
Ed Miliband Queries UEFA Position on John Terry Lifting Cup

Ed: I'm baffled as to why he would actually be allowed to do this, didn't I make it clear (insisted) that he should resign after Tuesdays Red Card incident. I don't read The Sun, I get 'others' to...

HenryMJUK 26.04.12 4:06pm
Standard and Poors gives negative outlook to Rick, 32, from Cheltenham. 0
simonhansen 26.04.12 3:42pm
Police with one ear to the ground "less likely to catch burglar", report finds. 0
simonhansen 26.04.12 3:37pm
Jeremy Hunt promises quasi-judicial investigation into Jeremy Hunt's behaviour

Jeremy Hunt, minister for for Department for Culture, Media and Sport, announced that he will head up the quasi-judicial inquiry into the behaviour of Jeremy Hunt, minister for for Department for...

steve_l 26.04.12 2:57pm
Calls for Bin Man to resign amid aligations of links to both News Corp & BSkyB

Westminster Council Bin Man Jeremy Hunt has become at the centre of a political storm amid accusation he has had links with both News Corp and BSkyB., An unnamed source possibly his ex wife has...

Scronnyglonkle 26.04.12 2:41pm
"The 5 Leadership Secrets of Charles Taylor" has failed to find a publisher

Charles Taylor has failed to find a publisher for his management opus "The 5 Leadership Secrets of Charles Taylor". "We had hoped to follow in the footsteps of Sun Tzu's "Art of War" and...

Crippen 26.04.12 2:41pm
Murdoch "shocked" to learn of bogey, despite happening right under his nose 0
Mr_Johno 26.04.12 2:38pm
Swedish Secret Service unveil flat-packed spies

In an attempt to dis-credit MI6 the Swedish Secret Service has unveiled its new range of flat-packed agents., "In an environment where size is everything, its important to stay one step ahead of the...

Underconstruction 26.04.12 2:28pm
Murdoch denies knowledge that NoW or The Sun were used to wrap Fish & Chips 0
simonjmr 26.04.12 2:03pm
Several thousand Goths join pasty tax demonstrations outside Downing Street 0
simonjmr 26.04.12 1:57pm
BSkyB staff cafeteria "out of milk", Leveson equiry hears. 1
simonhansen 26.04.12 1:52pm
Russell Brand ready to come off the Sachs Offenders list 0
simonjmr 26.04.12 1:48pm
Procrastination society claims ... 0
simonjmr 26.04.12 1:46pm
2013 most futuristic looking date since 2001, scientists claim. 0
simonhansen 26.04.12 1:38pm
Sex Tape Makes It Look Worse Than It Was Says Terry

Following the release of a sex tape with a woman who is not his wife or official mistress John Terry has argued ‘her run took her into me.’, Many people question how Terry could make such a...

Hooch 26.04.12 1:36pm
Health Minister admits that she keeps dripping 0
Underconstruction 26.04.12 1:09pm