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Elephant "no longer in room, believed on way to Venezuela" claims Hague 1
bonjonelson 4 years
Gadaffi fears he may lose lucrative sponsorship deal with Ray-Ban 0
Dumbnews 4 years
Paul McCartney tells media that John Lennon held him back 0
brownpaperreporter 4 years

In a candid interview with Melvyn Bragg, McCartney revealed that, with hindsight, he would never have been involved with John Lennon. “Tosser” says McCartney “the classics that I wrote after...

Fears of global warming receded today 0
Tammy Flugh 4 years

when scientists pointed out that the elephant in the room was actually a woolly mammoth...

Vince Cable ‘defects to Libya’ 4
4 years

British Business Secretary Vince Cable is in Libya and “no longer willing” to work for the Conservative and Lib Dem regime, the Libyan Foreign Office says. "He travelled here under his own free...

Chimp Develops Class Consciousness 1
pineapple incident 4 years

Scientists at the University of Sheffield have taught Deryck (a 14 year old, West African Common Chimpanzee) to recognise that the history of all hitherto existing society is the history of class...

A never-before-seen nude photograph of Eddie Stobart, 0
Tammy Flugh 4 years

taken when he was just 24, has been released by a private collector...

AV supporters launch 'Yes / Maybe Yes / Don't Know' Campaign 0
deskpilot3 4 years
Daily Sport unable to keep it up any longer... 0
deskpilot3 4 years
News Biscuit contributor refuses to get on elephant ticker band wagon. 0
Basil_B 4 years

Shit! I just have...

Ivory Coast stolen by poachers. 0
MADJEZ 4 years
Police foil Olympic stadium terror plot. Detain man with flaming torch. 0
MADJEZ 4 years
Agnostic praying mantis admits 'I was living a lie'. More soon. 6
wallster 4 years

Sorry, I bought a job lot of 2nd hand headlines off a dodgy looking bloke on ebay. He said they'd be worth something after today the lying git. Worth fuck all now. If you find a bloke who's busy...

Alfred Hitchcock ‘made cameo walk-on appearance at own funeral’ 5
Genghis Cohen 4 years

Previously unseen footage of the funeral of Alfred Hitchcock has revealed that the dead film director may have mischievously choreographed a walk-by role for himself at his own last rites. ‘If you...

Man who makes mathematical pun about tangent... 0
be reasonable 4 years

accused of racism. I'll log-off now...

Circle ... Parabola Hyperbola 1
Sinnick 4 years

Just a little obscure joke for the mathematicians...

Funeral of Eddie Stobart delayed as procession overtaken by another coffin 0
jp1885 4 years
Mammoth in the room asks if you can turn the central heating down a little. 1
bonjonelson 4 years
Elephant in Romania blames faulty satnav... 1
be reasonable 4 years

You herd it here first. No trunk calls allowed, not even by Fleetwood Mac...

Alex Ferguson to sign up to respect campaign "providing refs stop being cunts" 0
thisisall1word 4 years
AA meeting ignore pink elephant in room 0
thisisall1word 4 years
US unemployment hits all-time low 1
Gerontius 4 years

Unemployment in the US has fallen for the 4th consecutive month in a row, adding credence to the claim that the war on two fronts in the middle east is at last starting to yield beneficial results.,...

Video streaming providers compete to provide cheaper free content 0
Dumbnews 4 years
'My, what a lovely long trunk you have!' says sycophant in room 0
Ironduke 4 years
Bereaved to be given free mourning-after pill... 0
be reasonable 4 years

more to follow...

'Morning after pill' now free for whales 2
Scroat 4 years

Delivered by fork lift truck...

BA to codeshare cabin crew strikes. 0
Ostsee 4 years
Scottish police search private residence for Libyan Foreign minister. 0
dominic_mcg 4 years

or to put it another waya police spokesman said "There's a Moussa Koussa loussa aboot the houssa"...

Purists Decry Cesar Millan Playing 'The Phil Drabble Part' In A Hollywood 17
4 years

Blockbuster Remake of One Man and His Dog...

Call girls turn to FT as Sport newspapers folds 1
Mrblacker 4 years

Prostitutes, massage parlours and doggers say they'll start advertising in the Financial Times after the Sport Media Group, confirmed it was going into administration. The company, which published...