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Cameron admits Civil Service were anything but when told of budget cuts 0
sauce 3 years
Shock Poll Result at Manchester Branch of Atheists UK 2
Jesse Bigg 3 years

'There is a God, but only in the Red half of Manchester.'...

Terry Wogan fumes in daily mail interview ,if the "stars" at the BBC don`t take 0
arrghgarry 3 years

a pay cut how will they be able to afford my daily 10000 pounds fee for children in need gig...

Wife burns tea 4
Gary Stanton 3 years

John and Sophie Davis, a couple from Macclesfield, agreed to a trial separation last night after a kitchen disaster which saw Sophie needlessly burn John’s tea to a crisp. John’s high-powered...

George Bush Jr. realises that having a catchy title like Vagina Monolouges 5
arrghgarry 3 years

could be the one to announce his one man speech show thingymejig...

Autocue fault Causes Offence At Country Music Awards 4
Svendo 3 years

As Kenny Rogers is about to be presented with Biggest Country Star award...

“Below Average Driver” barred from local pub. 0
BillyBitzer 3 years

Keith Pawson lives in an idyllic English village, with an idyllic village pub only 200 yards of his house - but Keith can’t drink there any more, because he admits to “not being very good at...

Comedy Rule Changes Promise Massive Savings 4
BillyBitzer 3 years

Culture Minister Ed Vaizey announced today that his department was to be in the vanguard of Tory action to cut red tape and bureaucracy, saving the country the £60Bn needed to restore the financial...

Police Targets 0
one against the world 3 years

The Home Office today anounced that the targets set for the police will be made to look like G20 protesters,this it is hoped will make them easier to hit...

Hyperbole all used up, says public relations firm. 0
Hunter F. Thompson 3 years

"Adjectives are just not up to making that precious quantum leap anymore," says Martin Goosefinger, of Goosefinger, Bollouques LLP, thoughtfully stroking his chin. "Kids invent new slang to replace...

Hyperbole usage up a million billion percent, say experts 1
rickwestwell 3 years
Maradona gutted as World cup found to be made of cocaine..... 1
Mr.3374 3 years

Police appeal to gunman 3
Mr.3374 3 years

" Stop f'ckin shootin us."...

Young re-offenders to get bottle banked. 0
Reggie Bumstead 3 years

A new government initiative moves a step closer today after ministers gave the go ahead to put repeat offenders inside local bottle banks. A spokesman for the government said “it’s a great...

General, Shags Dogs( 4,10*) 0
afternoonslow 3 years

Ex-Army chief General Sir Richard Tory Dog-Shagger Dannatt to become Tory defence adviser General Sir Richard Tory Dog-Shagger Dannatt: profile; General Sir Richard Tory Dog-Shagger Dannatt is a...

Police to Appeal to crazed Gunman's Reason 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years

Police are trying a new tactic and appealing to a crazed gunman who has left a trail of murder and mayhem to stop. 'We think we will win the day by appealing to his reason and common sense', said a...

Are World Cups getting easier, asks the Daily Wail 0
StoopyDeGunt 3 years
Public Response to Ryanair ‘Noose-Class’ is lukewarm 4
ArseBiscuit 3 years

Ryanair’s planned introduction of vertical seating has failed to capture the public’s imagination after it has been revealed that the bargain tickets involve passengers swinging from nooses...

Shock as Hobbiton is named crime capital of Middle Earth. 5
wallster 3 years

To most people, the sleepy Shire village of Hobbiton would not seem a very likely candidate to win the title of 'Worst place to live'. However, behind the quaint, rustic exterior lies a vice ridden...

Former British army officer acquitted of bribery charge 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years

Sir Harry Paget Flashman VC KCB KCIE, while remaining by his unapologetic self-description "a scoundrel, a liar, a cheat, a thief, a coward and oh yes, a toady" was today released from custody from...

Hip-Hop Syndicate Buy Out Chain Of Garden Centres 0
Svendo 3 years

A corporation of leading Hip-Hop rappers and producers has made a move to buy out garden centre chain, Dobbies. At a press conference spokesman Fifty-Cent commented "We had all been sitting round in...

Breaking news: fucked up man, fucked up woman get married, have perfect children 0
la maga 3 years
New study: grey squirrels “a bit racist” but still “pretty cool” 0
dogwheels 3 years

A TEAM of scientists have sensationally claimed that grey squirrels are not as bad as it may have previously been thought. The group of animal boffins, from Some University, spent two weeks hanging...

Murray reverts to being Scottish 1
Bwahahahaha 3 years
Icon films supremo Mel Gibson announces a reworking of his classic film 0
arrghgarry 3 years

about a tribe of ruthless savages ,this time it will be set in modern L.A. where a, young woman heavily made up woman with heaving ample breasts short skirt and looks, like she dosent want it but...

McDonalds using entrails in burgers? "It's just bollocks" says spokesman. 1
dominic_mcg 3 years
Nadal panders to Wimbledon Crowd 7
Golgo13 3 years

In a transparent bid to curry favour with the partisan British crowd, Nadal collapsed dramatically to the ground at the end of his straight-sets victory over Andy Murray in the Mens singles...

Wimbledon Lawn Tennis Museum unveils painting commisioned from Prince Charles 0
SallyOldcow 3 years

[center][/center] Yesterday afternoon the Chairwoman of the trustees of the Wimbledon Lawn Tennis Museum, Dame Shirley...

German manager very happy with the black shirts 0
arrghgarry 3 years

we had planned to use the Brown ones ,however they were late and we could not get them back until 1930ish...

John Major returns to garden gnome industry wth new 'sanctimonious Bercow' range 1
The Paper Ostrich 3 years

Former Prime Minister Sir John Major has returned to his traditional family business of manufacturing garden gnomes, unveiling his first new collection entitled 'Sanctimonious Bercow'. The new range...