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Tesco Covent Garden has 'serious mouse problem'

Nothing more annoying than a serious mouse I can tell you. My advice to Tesco would be to find a serious cat and then hopefully the mouse will go and be serious somewhere else....

Theodore Sprangshaft 30.03.12 9:18am
Theodore Sprangshaft
CASH-4-PETROL - Do you have unused or unwanted fuel, turn it into instant cash.

Just pour into one of our special milk cartons and send Freepost to our address., We will appraise your fuel and send you a cheque within 7 days. Mr A of Cleethorpes : 'I had half a gallon of 2...

MADJEZ 30.03.12 9:18am
Possible fuel shortage for hearses prompts bout of panic dying. More soon... 1
ianrbland 30.03.12 8:46am
Long queues at pumps as Labour supporters flee Bradford Spring. 0
Boutros 30.03.12 8:15am
Romney: Obama Doesn't Believe In Santa, Thinks Hamburgers Came From Germany 0
Textbook 30.03.12 7:59am
Panic buying of petrol and release of new JOF book 'purely coincidence' say publ


Gerontius 30.03.12 7:56am
Historians find evidence of dragon which terrorised south of France

known as "The Worm of Cannes"...

Nick McCarr 30.03.12 7:28am
Nick McCarr
Bradford spring to be manafactured abroad 0
Mandy Lifeboat 30.03.12 6:50am
Mandy Lifeboat
Cameron makes killing in oil shares as nation fill petrol tanks unecessarily. 0
MADJEZ 30.03.12 12:34am
Scientists struggle to quantify just how shit new Friendsreunited site is.

More scathing attacks soon...

MADJEZ 30.03.12 12:20am
Ebay crashes due to increase in second hand petrol panic buyers

Also available dinner at an undisclosed flat in London...

Scronnyglonkle 29.03.12 10:29pm
Kent County Council and Amazon boss to launch Satellite Grammar School

Amazon chief Jeff Bezos has apparently approached Kent County Council with an out of this world offer. He plans to use his recently acquired Apollo 11 booster rockets to place the newly agreed...

3zincold 29.03.12 10:25pm
Computer Programmer of the Year delivers acceptance speech in binary

01001101 01101111 01110010 01100101 01110011 01101111 01101111 01101110...

grumblechops 29.03.12 10:03pm
School at centre of balcony fall row praised for accuracy of risk assessment

Fairfield High in Bristol today received plaudits for the accuracy of its overall risk assessment after it was revealed a pupil had been hospitalised after falling six stories from a stairwell...

grumblechops 29.03.12 10:00pm
Lord Coe denies 'stockpiling' fuel for Olympic flame 0
Underconstruction 29.03.12 9:40pm
Tanker drivers agree to perform RAF roles as fears of air attack intensify

Beleaguered RAF commanders have admitted that Esso fuel tanker drivers are being used as a stopgap to fill in for those staff, temporarily mustered to prevent a fuel delivery crisis across the nation...

Underconstruction 29.03.12 9:11pm
Captain Scott diary entry reveals how he regrets not taking more frozen food

Newly released extracts from the final diary of legendary British explorer Captain Scott have revealed how the explorer questioned the decision not to carry more frozen foodstuffs on his ill-fated...

Underconstruction 29.03.12 8:51pm
Tom Annoyed that Jerry is described as a can

A source at the Disney Studios in California has commented that Tom is extremely unhappy about Jerry being described as a can...

GillsImp 29.03.12 7:41pm
Express combines its to most popular topics, the EU and weather, to save space.

EU SCIENTISTS IN PLOT TO TEACH BRITAIN A LESSON, The Daily Express can today reveal that the extreme weather conditions which Britain has faced this year may well have been deliberately engineered...

stevebrdfd 29.03.12 7:40pm
QPR Owner buys Mark Hughes Expensive Lighter

QPR owner has bought Mark Hughes a lighter as a gift. Apparently he keeps losing his matches...

GillsImp 29.03.12 7:17pm
Cameron admits to panic buying a fool. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 29.03.12 7:11pm
Al OPecia
The economy: Panic merchants defy recession 0
weematt 29.03.12 6:48pm
Post Office admits confusion after government announced Stamp Duty rise. 5
bonjonelson 29.03.12 6:12pm
MOD "We don't have enough soldiers to fill all our tanks." 0
weematt 29.03.12 6:12pm
Prime Minister fuels panic. 0
MADJEZ 29.03.12 6:09pm
A man in Dorset revealed he used to be Indecisive

He's not not so sure now...

GillsImp 29.03.12 5:59pm
Gerry McCann avoiding forecourts after panic filling incident 2
cinquecento 29.03.12 5:59pm
Upper Crust Pies From Fortnum and Mason

Fortnum and Mason's are to launch a range of Upper Crust Pies . This follows hot (with added VAT) on the successful product placement in most newpapers by David Cameron " Once the PM was seen with...

Otis B Driftwood 29.03.12 5:55pm
Tories beg tanker drivers "please strke asap" and get us out of this awful hole

In a few short hours the conservatives created strike conditions from a totally strike free situation,a bumbling maude wittering about jerrycans advising everyone to break the law and turn the garage...

29.03.12 5:50pm
Ed Miliband attempts 'record breaking' publicity stunt.

In his latest attempt to appear in touch with the ‘common man’, Ed Miliband has unveiled his latest daring publicity stunt. The stunt is the biggest attempt at a dangerous feat since Ed Balls...

Perks 29.03.12 5:46pm