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US reassures doubters that secret death squads will only ever kill bad people 2
rickwestwell 4 years
Loads of piles rise and wank turnip bags on Discovery 0
Deacon 4 years
Contaminated Zam Zam holy water sold from Mecca really from the Thames Thames 0
Basil_B 4 years
Website moderators veto all internet references to Scunthorpe. 0
Deacon 4 years

Offa's Dyke is given 2nd written warning...

Voters told to cast vote in telephone boxes as alternative voting booth. 0
Basil_B 4 years
Shock victory for "meh" campaign 1
rickwestwell 4 years
Geography experts stunned by shock Israeli Eurovision win. 1
Deacon 4 years
US Attorney General says Bin Laden killing was lawful. 0
Deacon 4 years

In other news:, Turkeys have voted AGAINST Christmas;, Bears express a preference for shitting in wooded areas; and, Pope said to be "broadly not in favour" of Atheism...

Mary Whitehouse bequeaths house to American Diplomatic Assassins 4
OldThingy 4 years

Proviso: No bad language, sex or violence please...

Little Red Riding Hood: "My concerns over 'lone wolf' attacks" 0
charlieworth 4 years
Vince Cable demands to know why Competition Commission should not be reformed 1
Deacon 4 years

in 15 words or less. Winner will receive a luxury spa treatment...

10p returned to carrot after lengthy roadside justice campaign. 0
Deacon 4 years
Myleene Klass clones self. 4
Deacon 4 years

In a final bid to monopolise all TV and Radio broadcasts until the end of time the unavoidable media personality, smirker and "musician" has manufactured 700 biologically exact copies of herself. ...

Entire generation deleted as Save the Children forgets to back up its data 1
Qoxiivi 4 years
Bin Laden killed ingesting an uncooked bullet 0
simonjmr 4 years
Vince Cable to launch male neckwear collection : Cable ties in shops this Autumn 0
simonjmr 4 years
Violinist with London Philharmonic Orchestra killed by dyslexic Mossad agent. 0
be reasonable 4 years
ICC seeks to arrest Gaddafi for bringing cricket into disrepute. 0
be reasonable 4 years

More confusing acronyms soon...

Malcolm Tucker "was present in Situation Room". More soon. 5
Al OPecia 4 years Third from right, seated, just after shouting "shoot the fucking fucker!!!"...

Circus clown, seen gasping for air in restaurant, reveals he “was only choking" 1
Qoxiivi 4 years
Lloyds loses three and a half billion 0
greg various 4 years

"But hey, who cares? There's plenty more where that came from."...

Fergie rings up Mourinho for tips on losing disgracefully to Barcelona 0
Basil_B 4 years
Swindon driver with 39 points :'Actually a railway line' 1
antharrison 4 years
Richard Dawkins "used to be one half of Hinge and Bracket" 0
Deacon 4 years

Speculation continued today that the freakish-voiced rent-a-boffin honed his gift (for banging on about things long after most people have lost interest) by publicly debating doilies and being of a...

Syrian government forces launch Alternative to Voting campaign 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Obama relents and agrees to send Arsene Wenger a trophy photo 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Sarmer Bed Linen to be re branded. 0
arthurminnit 4 years

Ahma Dinner Jackets expected to follow suit...

Computing power increased by a third by introduction "3" to binary 14
gaijintendo 4 years

I know I know...

Kindle unveils absorbent pad for finger-lickers 3
allmyownstunts 4 years

Jeni B will want one...

"Osama still dead. Will and Kate still married", claims 24-hour news channel. 1
bonjonelson 4 years

more of the same soon...