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'Carry on Coalition' breaks all box office records 7
Oxbridge 4 years

Ooh matron! One of Britain's most enduringly popular madcap cinematic comedies is back, bigger than ever. Cinemas across the country are turning away people in their thousands as the clamour to see...

Cheryl Cole "proper steamed them Yanks cannut unnstan' wot ah'm tarkin' aboot&qu 0
JohnA 4 years

More proper Geordie later. Ah'm goon doon ter Bigg Market an' get proper lashed...

'Unique and fastinating creatures' cause film crew to flee jungle 1
4 years

A film crew abandoned their expedition into the rain forests of Borneo this week, after being disturbed by unique and unsettling creatures. Three members of the group had to be evacuated by...

Sting readopts geordie accent in rant over 'proper shite' "Geordie Shore" 0
SingingHinny 4 years
Bobcat Goldthwait Announced as New US X Factor Judge 0
thisisall1word 4 years
Imogen Thomas says it was Ryan Air who took her for a ride and treated her badly 5
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
obesity epidemic hits British electrons, claim scientists. 0
be reasonable 4 years

Scientists at Imperial College, London, have discovered that British electrons are now so fat, they are almost completely spherical. A researcher said, "some of them are so perfectly spherical that...

Dennis Quaid successfully excreted during final episode of Inside the Human Body 0
Iamthestig 4 years
Obama pays Cameron the highest honour in US diplomacy: an 'I like your accent' 3
ronseal 4 years

News is emerging that President Obama honoured David Cameron with an 'I Like Your Accent', the highest honour an American dignitary can bestow on a foreigner, when meeting aliens. The honour is...

Over-trimming leaves Brazilian rainforest reduced to narrow North-South strip 0
rickwestwell 4 years

Dear biscuiteers - If you like this headline, please read the full story (with crap headline) at: [url=]Brazilian deforestation 'Inevitable when you...

FIFA to televise corruption hearings under the brand "The only way is ethics" 0
simonjmr 4 years
Robert Mugabe wins latest round of Evil Bastards endurance race 1
jp1885 4 years
Lagarde: My manliness 'should not be a barrier for IMF job' 1
simonjmr 4 years
New shrinking Violet "Fernando" fails to score at Chelsea Flower Show 0
button 4 years

more soon with Alan Titchmarsh...

Tiffany & Co sales benefit from vejazzle and pejazzle craze. 2
simonjmr 4 years
End of the world comes five days late as X-Factor sacks Cheryl Cole 0
Oxbridge 4 years
‘Beans are neither musical, nor a fruit’ claims concert nutritionist 0
jp1885 4 years
Mladic extradition delay as The Hague’s spell checker keeps suggesting 'Blair' 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Intelligence suggests Gaddafi 'on the run' after an ill-advised late-night kebab 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Pakistan government says it is unaware Hilary Clinton is in the country 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Red sky in the morning, particulates warning.. 2
pere floza 4 years

Red sky at night, Corsas alight...

Lady Gaga to return to the mothership. 0
OliverTracey 4 years

It was bound to happen; we mere earthlings could only gaze in wonder at the scantily clad front bottomed tomfoolery that has been the mainstay of Lady Gaga’s career to date and hope that it would...

Elmer Thud Tracks Down Bambi's Mother Killer. 2
Steve Wilson 4 years

Incompetent hunter Elmer Thud claims to have tracked down the killer of Bambi's mother in a small unpronounceable town in central Europe. The Cartoon icon from Looney Tunes, who has spent the past...

Fire service under fire for attempting to rescue Clegg's career 0
dannyboy206 4 years
Arctic Roll granted 'EU geographical protected food' status 11
4 years

Against the wishes of its manufacturer, Arctic Rolls were granted protection under the EU 'regional food' policy yesterday. From July, the retro dessert can only be labelled 'Arctic Roll' if it is...

Government asks NICE to change guidelines to stop doctors prescribing water. 0
deskpilot3 4 years

Big pharma making millions from selling prescription water to hospitals at £57 per 100ml...

Biggest advance for disabled since Genghis Khan's Mongol hordes took Peking.. 2
pere floza 4 years

says 2012 Paralympics chief...

As Alex Salmond attacks culture of ‘booze and bigotry’, 5
Qoxiivi 4 years

critics ask for proof of his Scottish birth certificate...

Leading restaurant to serve fish and chips wrapped in a Kindle. More soon. 3
deskpilot3 4 years

That's going to be one greasy screen...

Cheryl Cole upset and confused about sacking - keeps asking "Why I?" 2
bonjonelson 4 years