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MPs in poorer parts of UK to be paid less.

George Osborne will announce plans to pay lower salaries to Members of Parliament in poorer parts of the country in his budget next week. The chancellor will argue that MPs pay should mimic the...

Ian 17.03.12 5:28pm
Cameron Gone 'A Wall' Again - Version 2 - 2

This time to the US., "When will the skiver ever put in a full shift?", mutter muggins ministers...

Jesse Bigg 17.03.12 5:10pm
Unpaid jobseekers to debut for Pompey - or risk losing benefits

Crisis-hit football club Portsmouth FC today announced that it would be handing Championship debuts to four new players this Saturday, recruited to complete unpaid work experience under the...

grumblechops 17.03.12 5:09pm
Spanish farmer finds image of Wayne Rooney on sack of potatoes. 1
Lemon difficult 17.03.12 1:25pm
Al OPecia
Saint Patrick arrested in clerical sex abuse probe

Prominent national saint and self appointed first bishop of Ireland, Saint Patrick, is believed to be in police custody this evening after police swooped on a large parade in Dublin city centre this...

jamsieoconnor 17.03.12 12:22pm
Lack or true grit in the workplace causes public sector pay freeze 0
charlies_hat 17.03.12 12:15pm
Public sector workers to have equal pay with the unemployed

The Chancellor of the Exchequer is expected to announce plans to try and equalize the pay in the public and unemployed sectors. "Treasury research has found that public sector workers has a pay...

apepper 17.03.12 12:08pm
North Korea Postpones Plans To Kill You All-Until After Dinner

North Korea has agreed to postpone its plans to kill you, your children, and everyone and everything you’ve ever loved, until it’s replenished its emaciated population with a selection of warm...

UnoEye 17.03.12 11:50am
HS2 swapped for H2O?

Cameroon urged to reconsider HS2 in line with urgent needs for water in the south east, and re consider an urgent need for water., a spokesman said 'those web feet bog trotters would pay us to take...

wilkieone 17.03.12 10:16am
London barman attempts other 3 card suits in pint of Guiness 0
charlies_hat 17.03.12 10:06am
Sobriety Orders, low tech method to be tried first.

A pilot scheme is planned by the government to test the use of Sobriety Orders. This is an approach used in the USA to reduce alchohol inflamed crime. In the USA offenders are required to wear a...

weematt 17.03.12 9:57am
Breweries and pub product marketing managers celebrate St Plastics Day 3
ronseal 17.03.12 9:34am
Clooney's cellmate "Seen allovum fillums twaace" 0
Drylaw 17.03.12 9:26am
British management consultants best at 'grey sky thinking' claims CBI. 0
MADJEZ 17.03.12 9:20am
Entertainment Communications Supervisor in prosthetic ear row

A Crowd Control Supervisor at a nightclub in Leeds has been suspended from duty until further notice after regulars queuing at the city centre night spot complained that one of the man’s...

Earl Van Dyke 17.03.12 8:29am
Earl Van Dyke
Ladies: Top anti-wrinkle product is pies. "Stuff your face at your own pace"

more later...

dvo4fun 17.03.12 5:01am
Oprah to host new show on assholes and the women who love them 0
Dumbnews 17.03.12 4:42am
Top cleric quits over moneygrabbing and calling parishioners 'muppets'. 0
deskpilot3 16.03.12 11:23pm
Neutrinos urine sample tests postive for banned substance 2
charlies_hat 16.03.12 11:19pm
British Public Braced For Tedious Over-Analysis of US/UK "Special Relationship"

As David Cameron's US visit draws to a close the British public are bracing themselves for the obligatory self-indulgent, embarrassingly tedious, over-analysis of the so-called "special relationship"...

UnoEye 16.03.12 11:07pm
Man does equivalent of the M25 around his supermarket aisles

A shopper who pushed his shopping trolley the entire distance of the M25 around the aisles of his local Tesco - sometimes in the wrong direction - is recovering in hospital. Albert Bunn (52), who...

roybland 16.03.12 10:42pm
Church "grows a set" in Archbishop appointment

Following the resignation of Rowan Williams to take up the post of headmaster at Hogwarts, the actor and adventurer Brian Blessed has been appointed as the next Archbishop of Canterbury. The...

medici2471 16.03.12 10:37pm
HS2 to be scrapped in favour of enormous flume

Transport Minister Justine Greening today announced that The Government was scrapping the proposed HS2 rail link between The Midlands and London, in favour of the H2O - a massive "hydro-grav...

grumblechops 16.03.12 9:13pm
Cricketer scores runs playing cricket – world amazed!

India's Sachin Tendulkar has become the first player to score some runs since the last one and all in a game that meant a defeat against Bangladesh in Dhaka. The very well known and famous cricketer...

hardev 16.03.12 8:58pm
Bishop makes suprise sideways move 5
charlies_hat 16.03.12 8:19pm
George Clooney arrested on handsomeness charges

The actor, director and activist George Clooney was arrested today outside the Sudanese Embassy on charges of aggravated male beauty. Clooney, 49 was, say police, demonstrating his attractiveness in...

nickb 16.03.12 6:42pm
Absolutely crap Archbishop reborn as brilliant ex-Archbishop 0
roybland 16.03.12 6:21pm
"PAEDO" gets attention

Research by the tabloid press has shown that articles liberally sprinkled with the word "PAEDO" in capitals immediately draw the eye, hence the regular use of such attention grabbing gimmicks. Not...

ianrbland 16.03.12 6:01pm
Rowan Williams resigns as Archbishop to spend more time as Mr Bean

Rowan Williams has announced he is resigning as archbishop of Canterbury to spend more time working on his popular comedy creation "Mr Bean". "It's been difficult to avoid the temptation of pulling...

apepper 16.03.12 5:37pm
Archbishop of Canterbury: wearing a cross does not offend non-Christians

as it makes conversation with Christians a lot easier to avoid...

John Ffitch-Rucker 16.03.12 5:05pm
John Ffitch-Rucker