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Nectar points to count towards final score, say UCAS. 0
the coarse whisperer 4 years
Student receives points deduction from UCAS after going into administration. 0
Corrigan 4 years

Basingstoke sixth-former Jake Andrews admitted he was ‘gutted’ today after receiving a 200 point deduction from higher education admittance agency UCAS for becoming financially insolvent. This...

Royal Society for Ornithology to change name of sea gulls to sea bastards 2
Basil_B 4 years

In light of the increasing threat that sea gulls are currently posing for tourists in coastal towns around Britain by attacking them for food the Royal Society for Ornithology have agreed to rename...

New iPhone app calculates calories from the pictures of your food 2
Dumbnews 4 years
Actress sacked from Vagina Monologues for talking out of her arse. 6
wallster 4 years

Grabs tin hat, dives under the table...

UN to consider 'Charities Continued Responsibilities' proposal 0
Mrblacker 4 years

A coalition of ecology groups say they are a step closer to convincing the United Nations to abolishing the World Health Organisation and forcing humanitarian charities to cease their work saving...

God to attend... 0
writinginbsl 4 years

God to attend lightning and thunderbolt accuracy retraining as he 'misses that bastard Branson'...

Ad campaign music lauded by industry insiders as “brilliantly missing the point" 0
swordfish trombone 4 years

Enterprising advertising creative working on the next campaign for high street electrical goods retailer Currys have been widely praised for their choice of music to appear in 30 second television...

USA declares war on Gaddafi regime. 3
be reasonable 4 years

Couldn’t resist it...

Cameron appeals for "calm" so he can at least finish one holiday this year 10
simonjmr 4 years

David Cameron has today called for “calm” throughout the world and at home, after yet another holiday was interrupted so he could return to London to chair a meeting of the National Security...

Toffee nosed QPR chew over Scouse Toffees. 0
rebel not taken 4 years

Everton fans were left fuming after the Toffees were turned over by a makeshift QPR side at Goodison Park on saturday. Charlie Scally, writing in the Scouse Echo, called QPR "a bag of shite" and...

Scientist finally prove that death will kill you. More soon. 0
martin2381 4 years
Gerard Depardieu called in to help with Somali drought. More soon 2
martin2381 4 years
Twitter Latest - Murray Not Boring Insists His Mum 0
Duff 4 years

Fresh from his ATP triumph in the Cincinnati Open yesterday, dour Scot and as some would have it British No.1, Andy Murray, was defended by his Mum on Twitter as not being in the least bit boring....

No takers on Isle of White's 'asylum for anyone' offer 0
spoole2112 4 years
Westminster Council to evict 70 year old looter's mother. 3
bonjonelson 4 years
Wilsons of Sharrow to sponsor snuff movies 0
simonjmr 4 years
New iPhone app tells you if it still works after being dropped 0
Dumbnews 4 years
Man hit by ambulance raises possibility of other ironic accidents 0
Spartan_Pig 4 years

After a man was hit by an ambulance resonding to an emergency call today, experts are warning that similarly ironic accidents are a real and present danger. A top government boffin has been quoted as...

Lower order England Batsmen gripe "We don't get to have a bat - it's not fair!" 0
dvo4fun 4 years
Growing Indian grain mountain seeks a silo 0
spoole2112 4 years
Peter Higgs nautical past clears up physics mystery 0
flyerblade 4 years

"I'd often have a few beers with my crew after returning to shore in the local hostelry and I must admit our conversations were quite loud. Often they'd be tales of the high seas on my ship the...

70 year old Tesco shoplifter ashamed as he missed the 2 for 1 offer 0
itsokchaps 4 years
Nigeria launches two satellites ... 0
flyerblade 4 years

Today Nigeria's flagship space programme, SCABAD was successfully launched. The satellites work as a pair, one to collect sort codes and the other bank account numbers. "SCABAD (Sort Code And Bank...

Rebel Fighters Launch Giant Game Of Mouse Trap To Catch Gaddafi 0
thesplodge 4 years
Easyjet admit duty-free sales of "L'Eau de Depardieu" disappointing. 0
bonjonelson 4 years
Gaddafi offers to return al-Megrahi to Scotland in return for political asylum 0
Tammy Flugh 4 years
Isle of Wight refusing to recognise Libyan rebels 0
TerribleTim 4 years
Cameron Cockahoop At Allies Victory In Libya 0
Duff 4 years

A jubilant David Cameron was scarcely able to contain his excitement earlier this morning during a press conference that had been hastily called to discuss the overthrow of Libyan dictator, Colonel...

Gaddafi to become X-factor judge, Simon Cowell to be become Libyan Dictator 0
whickerman 4 years

Which country gets the worst deal?...