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Cheryl tells barman that she really asked for mojitos. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Local man gives up modern conveniences to learn why they are needed 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Tibet celebrates the launch of new newspaper, The Daily Lama. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Outrage at Silverstones' plans for Burger King drive-through. 0
twookey 3 years

Bernie Eclestone has risked the wrath of the Formula 1 faithful by proposing a fast food chain restaurant be built on the circuit at the home of British motor racing. Ecclestone insists that it's...

Students need 2:1 degrees to get jobs. 'This is outrageous' says NUS chap. 1
Griffin 3 years

My blooody father never needed to work at university, just slept around, got pissed and turned up to do the odd exam, got a pass degree then went into advertising. I think that is what mummy said he...

Mosquito treated for Cherylcolia 1
Scroat 3 years
After reforming the electoral, Clegg wants to work on reforming Abba. 0
Basil_B 3 years

'While i'm on a roll' said the excitable Deputy...

Fleming's right hand rule 'inspiration' for generations of rappers. 0
Zadok the second 3 years

http://www.performing-musician.com/pm/apr08/images/thumbs/TechNotes_01.jpg More soon...

Police confirm they are lowering the draw-bridge on Moat. 4
The All New Jeni B 3 years
Malaria: Becoz yewer werth it 0
Scroat 3 years

Typhoid soon...

Gay vampires to be called "Camphires" under diversity guidelines 1
simonjmr 3 years
Bankers to wear Hi Viz Community Payback Jackets Till Debt Paid Off. 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years

An investigation has begun into some bankers paying other people to wear the Hi Viz 'Community Payback jackets. 'It not like we are short of cash', said one anonymous Banker. 'Lets face it we are all...

Coalition: Mass Sacking of Female Civil Servants Gives Increase in Home Baking 0
thisisall1word 3 years

The Coalition Government took an important step towards realising its target to double the number of those out of work by removing the bureaucratic red tape of having to pay redundancy money to...

'Foxy HuntGo' 2
Bob 3 years

The rise in fox numbers in urban centres has sparked a new craze amongst youth groups across the country, urban fox hunting. Urban fox hunting has taken off in such epidemic proportions local...

Fox swipes chops in posh shop, nips tot, trots. Shot. 0
Hunter F. Thompson 3 years
Hemorrhoid attached to John Prescotts arse is desperate to be cauterised away. 0
Basil_B 3 years

'The discomfort has become so intolerable, not to mention the embarrasment ' said the hemorrhoid in question...

Fox swipes chops from chic shop. More soon. 2
Hunter F. Thompson 3 years
After being reminded of the saying loose lips sink ships Alex Reid arranges a 0
arrghgarry 3 years

"special Op`s "trip to the far East before He and katie price embark on their Honeymoon cruise...

Scientists confirm Karma exists after Cheryl gets malaria & Jedward breaks a leg 0
Ian Searle 3 years

Simon Cowell is believed to have gone into hiding...

Mosquite treated for rabies after biting Cheryl Cole 0
TerribleTim 3 years
Homophobe begs showbiz gay mafia 'please don't cock up the arts' 0
StoopyDeGunt 3 years
Ofsted finds itself ‘inadequate’ 0
Zadok the second 3 years

Inspectors at Ofsted, the education watchdog have found themselves woefully inadequate according to a report published yesterday. “A data slip-up meant I had to observe myself inspecting...

Wayne Rooneys heart to heart chat and advice to Ashhey Cole pays didvidends 0
arrghgarry 3 years

as Ashley avoids the 46 year old slapper and gets 2 in their twenties...

‘Too many antiques shows on BBC’ announces TV Watchdog on Cash in the Attic. 0
Stan Laurel 3 years
Cheryl Cole's Africa trip still more successful than Ashley Cole's 1
ianslat 3 years
Maverick cop comes out of retirement for 'one more big speed camera project' 0
StoopyDeGunt 3 years
Sun journalist tried to claim Moat on expenses 2
StoopyDeGunt 3 years
Lottery winner to keep caravanning in Yorkshire, now he owns it 1
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
69 applicants for every university place 'more appealing than other bribes' 4
QorbeQ 3 years

says exhausted professor...

Raoul Moat walks into a bar. "Bitter?" asks the barman. "Too fucking right." 7
BillyBitzer 3 years

With apologies to Arthur Scargill...